Fantasy Wrasslin'

As far as hobbies, or obsessions as my wife would say, go I am into three things: Pro Wrestling, Comic Books, and Fantasy Football. If it wasn't for my wife being pregnant then it would be hard for me to argue not being a virgin. I often find a lot of hobbies, but most just fizzle out after a couple of weeks. Those three things through the years have always managed to keep my interests. In a few weeks I'll have my fantasy football draft in a league that I have won the past two championships. It's all about mathematics and applied values in relation to quality/quantity ratios.

Broken down that basically means how far is the seperation between certain players at a position. Knowing that seperation allows for knowing when to grab certain players before the position falls off the cliff. Like this year Brady, Rodgers, and Brees will go in the first round, but Vick, Romo, or Manning could all have equal or just slightly worse values than those three, but go in the 5th to 8th round. While running backs who carry most of their teams load instead of being in a comittee are a rare commodity. Having two such backs like a McFadden, Richardson, Forte, or Jones Drew can tip the scales in your favor as opposed to wasting a top tier pick on a QB that might be equal to a mid-round pick. It's not an exact science, and there is way more that goes into it, but now you know how geeky I am about my hobbies. Hell you're reading a blog I write about pro wrestling, which I haven't laced up the boots for in almost 6 years.

As I prepared for my up coming draft I wondered what kind of fantasy wrestling team I could put together. I kind of want to get some of my wrestling friends together and do a draft. That might be a fun idea for down the road. Right now I just want to put together a fantasy roster. I'll go over my picks, and give some details on each talent.

Rules for building my fantasy wrestling roster:

1. Must contain 3 singles wrestlers from each of the big three promotions (WWE, TNA, RoH) to give the roster 9 total singles wrestlers.
2. Must contain one tag team from each of the big three promotions to give the roster 3 established teams.
3. Must contain four female talents involved in wrestling in the past year.
4. Must contain one unsigned talent

All together that gives the roster twenty wrestlers, which is a good start for a core roster of talents in any wrestling promotion. I had a lot of fun with this and I think I have come up with a good roster that can interact well together. Plus I decided when building this that I would try to do it without any Kevin Nash money makers just to prove a point.

G.R.o.W. Fantasy Roster

Singles

• CM Punk: Unless you're a first time reader to this site then you know I am a huge Punk fan. I think he has every tool you need to be one of the greats. He can wrestle with any person on the planet. He has buckets of charisma. He can cut a promo with the best of them. He also has a unique look that helps him stand out in a crowd. If this is a draft then he would be my first round pick.
• Daniel Bryan: He is a great in ring talent. He might even be better between the ropes than CM Punk. In the past year his personality has grown outside the ropes. He has the ability to make anyone look better than they are in the ring. He is the Macho Man to Punk's Hogan. If Punk is my top guy then Bryan is the guy that helps build future opponents for Punk and eventually sells out houses as his biggest rival.
• Dean Ambrose: Don't know who Dean is? Just wait and you will. If Brian Pillman had a baby with Stone Cold Steve Austin when they were the Hollywood Blondes then it would be Dean Ambrose. His promos are great. He has a good in ring ability. He also is willing to push any boundry. As a booker, Dean gives you no limits on where to take his character, which can lead to some interesting developments. Ambrose is my sleeper pick.
• Austin Aries: AA has come on the scene with a vengeance this year. He was good in RoH, but he's epic in TNA. His cocky personality becomes even better when he proves every word in the ring. Aries is the kind of talent that can steal the show in the dark match. He, like Punk & Bryan, can have great matches with a corpse. He might be my 2nd pick in a fantasy draft.
• Samoa Joe: If you haven't seen, my roster is not based on size, which plays into Joe's favor. Having average sized talents makes Samoa Joe look bigger. He becomes the beast of my roster. I also think his physical style sets him a part. I would use him like a Taz in that when you see Joe then you know shit is about to get real and somebody is going to get manhandled. I do think he has some limitations in his promo ability, but in ring he can really bring it with the right talents.
• Bully Ray: The former Dudley has really broken free from his tag team days. His new persona might be the best pure heel in the business. I like his physical style, and on a microphone he could cause a riot at a monastery. I would be real interested to see Bully Ray take on CM Punk.
• Kevin Steen, Steve Corino, and Jimmy Jacobs: I'm not listing these three separate because their work as the anti-ROH stable has been outstanding. They can all wrestle, plus each brings a unique role. Steen may look like a garbage man but he wrestles like Flair. Corino is an old vet that knows all the tricks plus cuts a mean promo. Jacobs is a fantastic pest in that he can wrestle, bump, and he can get on people's nerves with his antics. I would keep them as a stable.

Tag Teams

• Airboom: Before Evan Bourne got his 2nd strike, and got into a car accident, this was a really promising tag team. They could do a lot in the ring together. Their promo skills leave something to be desired, but as singles wrestlers they both can help build a roster. As a tag team they are very marketable.
• The Briscoe Brothers: Unique look, check. Great personalities, check. Crazy loose cannons, Damn Right! I love everything about this tag team. Nobody looks like they do. The Youtube videos are hilarious. Plus they are willing to do anything in and out of the ring including putting their bodies on the line. Every promotion should have a team this dedicated to their performance.
• Daniels & Kazarian: Both men can be good singles wrestlers, but together they have a great fluidity. They can interact with the high flyers like Airboom, but also get down & dirty with physical teams like the Briscoes. Another valuable team that strengthens the whole roster. Plus Christopher Daniels is a good mic worker, who constantly freshens up his character.

Women

• Amazing Kong (Kharma): How the WWE ever let her get away I will not know. No woman looks like her and no woman can wrestle like her. There might not be a lot of male wrestlers that can do what she does. Hell all you need is Kong to have a strong women's division. I might take her with my 3rd pick because of the draw factor for such a unique personality.
• Velvet Sky & Angelina Love: As a duo these two are great. They play the perfect stuck up bitches. Add in that they both can wrestle, and it's just sprinkles on my cupcake. My three ladies are all unsigned talents, and together they might be the best female roster in wrestling. That's how far back the big three are on women's wrestling.
• Sara Del Rey: The best in ring women's wrestler going. She doesn't look like a playboy bunny, which is probably why she isn't on your television. I heard she signed with the WWE to head up their development. She should be their champion. She's that damn good.

Unsigned

• Krimson: He's an old friend of mine. He has a great look, plus TNA stole his gimmick & his name for two of their wrestlers. Great mic skills with ten years of experience. I like having wrestlers on my roster that I can trust. He'll be that kind of worker on this all star roster. The gimmick stands out and it is something you can use in the marketing department on all promotions. Plus his promos are kinda creepy, which helps him stand out even more. He's also buddies with Kevin Nash, and this roster was inspired by Big Sexy.

That's my twenty person fantasy wrestling roster. I think I could do some cool things with these talents that hasn't been seen on television. Yesterday I said it takes breaking new ground to draw money, and that is what this roster could do. In ring this would be the best thing going today. With some time, character development, and some risk taking this roster of talents could be bigger than WWF, WCW, or ECW at the height of their popularity.

If you have a roster of your choosing please leave it in the comments section. Would love to see what other people come up with.

Size Doesn't Matter, Sizzle Does!

Kevin Nash once again has opened up the discussion that small wrestlers don't draw money. In an article for Grantland.com, Nash said that at WrestleMania 20 the crowning of Eddie Guerrero & Chris Benoit as champions is what destroyed the business. He claims that when wrestling went away from Monsters to normal sized competitors that the fans went away too.

Many have fired shots back at Big Sexy. Chris Jericho says it was Nash's run as WWE champion in 1995 that was the lowest drawing period in the WWE, and that he merely took a ride on Hall & Hogan's coattails in the NWO. Chavo Guerrero Sr, who knows a little about this sport called wrestling, laid into Nash claiming besides his size that he lacked any wrestling ability. Jim Ross even disagreed with Nash, but wasn't as vocal in his opposition.

The fact is that Kevin Nash is good at creating a buzz. It maybe his greatest talent. He's like that kid on the playground that just knows what buttons to push. He's a big guy, there are a lot of smaller wrestlers in today's environment, and the two guys he talked about aren't around anymore to defend themselves. Put all of it together, and it creates the perfect storm. In short, he hooked em.

Now no matter what side you're on you have gone to Grantland and read the article. You've read the small snipet that is creating all this craziness, but you've also read about his Hollywood projects. You've read about what Kevin Nash is upto now. You've made Kevin Nash a headline story on all the wrestling sites, and he hasn't stepped foot in the ring for one of the big 3 wrestling promotions. He's more talked about right now than Brock Lesnar, HBK, or HHH; the main players in the Summer Slam main event in 11 days. Kevin Nash without trying has out sizzled the WWE and TNA, both going into big pay per views.

Now I disagree with Kevin Nash. I don't believe size matters because even as far back as the 60's midgets have drawn money. What draws money is the bookers or writers being able to create storylines, matches, and moments for talents big & small that keep the fans opening their wallets.

Truly what has killed wrestling, especially in the WWE, is the lost art of true creative minds in the business. The head of creative for the largest promotion got her job because of her last name. The guy leading the writers in TNA is still living off his stroke of luck from the attitude era that he hasn't been able to recreate in nearly 15 years. Finally the brain trust in Ring of Honor continues to run it's promotion like it's the late 80's, which hasn't done much to move the needle.

All in all the talents and fans have evolved, the creative process has devolved. That kind of seperation between the major factors in pro wrestling is what kills business. When the writers and bookers stop believing they are smarter than the talent, start working with them instead of above them, then the money will come back.

The curtain has been pulled back on the mystery of wrestling, but the ability to tell a story hasn't. People still go to broadway even when they know the play isn't reality TV, the same can happen for Pro Wrestling. Bookers just need to stop booking for their own benefit and start doing it for the best interests of the talents and the fans. Stephanie, Russo, and Cornette need to evolve with the business instead of kicking and screaming to keep it the way they like it. Simply put they need to leave their comfort zone.

When the bookers/writers of wrestling take risks then they will break new ground. They will establish new places for the minds of fans and talents to go, which is all both sides are asking for. Fans want fresh storylines that don't look like the same recyled crap they have watched since Flair and Hogan. Talents wants new ways to get their characters over other than the cookie cutter ways that have been the standard since Nash was Oz.

People will say there is no new ground in pro wrestling. They will say that everything has been done. Those are the people who think the world of pro wrestling is flat. I am here to tell you it is round. If we sail our ships to the edge, we won't fall off, we'll just discover new territory. Money can be made with a seven footer or a midget. Money can be made with women or men. Money can be made with anyone. It's up to the creative minds to finally start doing their jobs and finding that money by discovering new ground in Pro Wrestling.

In this business it will never be about size, but about sizzle. The easiest way to get sizzle is to give people something they've never seen before. That will get people talking, which is what Kevin Nash has done. And they're only talking because there is nothing new to take Nash's place.

Monday Night Raw: The NeverEnding Story

My dad came into town for the weekend, which was great. We saw the capital, drove around, and got a chance to catch up. It was a busy weekend, and I was ready last night to kick my feet up for some R & R. In the WWE that stands for Recaps & Rewinds. At first I was excited for three hours of wrestling every Monday, but as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. By the time Miz and Kane came out I was ready for RAW to be over. It just began to drag leading up to the main event with what seemed like filler between moments for the last 90 minutes with a good Lesnar angle mixed in.

I liked the beginning with CM Punk, AJ, Cena, and Show. They did a lot to develop AJ’s personality as the GM. She didn’t let two massive characters walk all over her. Punk is toeing the line as a heel with his half-truths and revisionist history. It is like watching political talking heads that manipulate facts to play to their favor. He makes your skin crawl and blood boil with his statements. After Summer Slam he should be full dark side and I’m looking forward to that.

When Cena was screaming about ten years in the business and still having to fight for respect I was waiting for Punk to say something about their in-ring abilities and the Grand Canyon gap between the two. Cena is a great character with unmatched charisma, but between those ropes he has the ability of Tim Tebow, and CM Punk is Tom Brady. That’s why during his runs people couldn’t wait for him to drop the strap, and 250 days into Punk’s run people can’t wait for him to face new opponents (Rock, HBK, Bryan, Sheamus, Rollins, Ambrose, Lesnar, Taker, etc).

Announcing the three big matches for the evening was good business. It helped when something less than entertaining came on my screen because I knew a segment I wanted to see was around the corner. Then again who didn’t think Rey Mysterio was going to win that Twitter vote. One guy hasn’t been on TV for months & when he was on TV he was being buried for dropping R-Truth, the other lives off his attitude era fame, and then there is future hall of famer & ultimate underdog baby face Rey Mysterio Jr. Why not make the choices Rey, Slater, and Swagger?

Punk and Rey had a great opening match. Their chemistry is always good. Surprised the announcers didn’t bring up their old feud from two years ago. I know the WWE has a short memory, but it was a fun feud. Punk beat Rey clean, as he should. He gets more fodder for his disrespect claims as the champ opens the show instead of closing it. The first 45 minutes of RAW is really entertaining, and my hopes are high.

Albert Del Rio shows up and I’m excited about that. He parks his car in the back, which never turns out well for people. When will superstars realize that when the camera focuses on your tour bus, limo, or sports car in the back of the arena that something bad will happen? I still hate that ADR is claiming he won’t wrestle, but then goes out to wrestle.

He and Christian have a nice short TV match. Poor Christian is back to his old role of making others look good as a back drop character. Was it that bad being TNA champion? Then Sheamus shows up and steals Del Rio’s car. Now we get to have Tout shoved down our throats for the night. Yippie! My excitement level is coming back down to earth.

Randy Orton just came back from strike two of his drug suspension. Big Show is one third of the WWE title match at Summer Slam. Of course it makes sense to do a double count out. No wonder JTG is pissed because nothing makes sense in the WWE. Orton is over and he could do a lot to lay down for Big Show. It would help elevate him as he moves into the title match in two weeks. Instead Orton gets the last laugh with an RKO after the double count out. Here is the message other talents are getting: Get caught violating our rules, and if you’re a star, don’t worry cause you’ll be rewarded when you get back while hardworking talents with no strikes will be kept off TV and forced to wrestle on our internet show. In a short form: Orton Just Smoked Your Ass!

It wasn’t like Randy was facing off against Santino or Miz. This was Big Show, who is facing Cena and Punk at Summer Slam. Giving him a win against Orton doesn’t hurt either man. It helps make Show look like a stud, and Orton loses to a massive Giant with a mean streak. Instead we live in bizarro world, and Orton gets to leave one of the #1 contenders laying in the ring. If I was Orton I would just walk down the aisle with my bong in hand because you’re the one with the iron clad status in the WWE.

Then we hit a rough patch on RAW. Two matches I could give a crap about, a nice angle that is kicking off a good feud, and a Divas match that signaled bathroom break. Ryback doesn’t do much for me as he eats up a jobber tag team. I watched the Goldberg build in WCW, he was slowly beating his way up the ladder and not wasting months in Jobberville. Ryback’s biggest feud is with a tag team that no longer has any creditability in the WWE. Congrats creative you’ve killed two talents, and made your monster stale, BRAVO!

Speaking of tag teams, The Prime Time Players are good. Epico & Primo are gifted. I like Kofi & Truth. AW is the pits. He has no charisma. His mic skills are limited. His one liners come off as over prepared and rehearsed. His whole character is a train wreck. He wastes time on my TV. Also why does he keep pulling his team out of matches? They aren’t #1 contenders anymore, and unless logic is completely out the window in this company, you still have to win to get title shots. I like that the tag team division is showing signs of life. I hate that AW gets TV time because he is minor league all the way.

Sandow and Clay was some good stuff. I am a fan of building up a feud. Damien has attacked Brodus two weeks in a row. He is really getting over as nasty heel with the crowd. I would say getting attacked by DX really helped establish him with the fans, and he running with it. Clay vs. Sandow should be a fun match for the next few weeks. I also like the dancing destroying our youth line. I pop for Footloose references. The Kevin Bacon one, not that recent abomination.

Hey the Divas are on my TV. Hey guess what, I’ve got time for a bathroom break. What I saw was a decent divas match. At least when they come on TV I know the next segment will be good. Kelly Kelly wins and Eve continues to get frustrated. I think an AJ vs. Eve match is on the horizon.

Besides the million recaps, Brock vs. HHH has been great. Heyman is gold on the mic. He and HBK really sold this match. Putting HBK in HHH’s corner is good. I would put even money they are going to do something like Apollo vs. Drago from Rocky 4 with HBK acting as Rocky & fighting the urge to toss in the towel to save his friend’s life; especially if Stephanie is ringside screaming at HBK. A lot of emotion is going to take place in this match, and HBK is the master of facial expressions.

After Lesnar put over Cena, he needs to win here. HHH is going to take a beating at Summer Slam. Lesnar is a legit beast. He looks nasty just walking down the aisle. With Heyman working the mic, there is a lot of money to be made here. What if the WWE did a twist on everybody and had Lesnar win the title before Royal Rumble? How many buys does Brock vs. Rock sell? Just something to think about.

After this segment the WWE went back into the lull with more recaps, rewinds, and two matches that were more angle than anything. Ziggs got cocky and Jericho is in his head. Riley got a win, which is good. He could be a nice lower card/ mid card talent for the WWE like Christian or Santino.

Kane vs. Miz didn’t do anything for me. I find it funny the IC champ puts over Kane clean in the ring, but Smokey McPot can’t do a clean job for Big Show. Just shows how out-of-wack the WWE is.

Daniel Bryan is doing something special. He has taken a horrible angle and turned it into white hot heat. He simply says “NO” and the crowd is whirled into a frenzy. He is being treated like a dog by the GM, has to face Kane at Summer Slam, and will likely have some interaction with Charlie Sheen, but continues to get over. John Cena lucks out because Bryan makes him look like a million dollars.

Side Note: Anyone else find it funny that “You Can’t See” me is followed up by the five knuckle shuffle. It’s like your mom saying if you do that you’ll go blind. Get it, it’s a masturbation joke. Oh John Cena you’re 5^th grade humor is just so Raven.

Cena gets the win over Byran, which means only Big Show didn’t win tonight. Then Show gets the best of Punk and Cena with a double knockout punch. He holds the belt high in the air, and Orton sits in the back puffing away that he made that man his bitch tonight. Oh creative if it wasn’t for lack of logic, you’d have no logic what so ever.

I have realized what really makes RAW drag on besides all the recaps and rewinds. The announce team is bad. Lawler is long in the tooth, and Cole can’t seem to stop from talking social media. I know the WWE is now the king of social media promotion, but unless Twitter is facing Tout in the main event at WrestleMania then how about using half that energy focusing on the talents in the ring. It is getting a little overboard.

The whole Sheamus angle tonight was just to get Tout over. As far as ADR vs. Sheamus, it came off as hacky with the end pay off being the car covered in what any moron could tell was staged dirt & grime. Oh my gosh Sheamus spilled a burrito on his car, what a rapscallion he is. Then he makes a poop or puke joke, and walks away. It was all about Tout, and the match came second. If this continues then watching RAW will become a second thought to a lot of viewers, because what are the ratings for prime time infomercials? Not a 3.0 I can tell you that much.

We’ve got one more RAW before Summer Slam. It better be something special or this could be a bad buy rate for the 2^nd biggest PPV of the year. I am guessing HBK and Brock will get into it. Also Cena will probably end the show holding the title in the air. Plus Randy Orton will continue to hold good talents down as Daniel Bryan hasn’t put him over yet. Hopefully it won’t be week three of me shutting off the TV saying, “I wish RAW was still two hours”. Pretty soon I might not even turn the TV back on.

RAW Preview

It's Monday! That means three hours of wrestling. Ok I guess maybe an hour of recaps and videos plus two hours of wrestling. Well maybe an hour of wrestling with recaps, videos, and promos. 30 minutes of wrestling? I hope so.

It's HBK day on RAW tonight, but it might be all off camera for the live Texas crowd. If that happens then it is a blown opportunity by the WWE. I don't care if you can only get HBK in front of a camera to shill his merch, it is always a ratings boost. My fingers are crossed that he gets involved in the Brock Lesnar & HHH feud.

Speaking of the terminator, Brock is going to be in the house. That should mean some kind of live action this week instead of 5 recaps from RAW 1000. Probably only 3 recaps this week. Then again if he appears live this week that will mean 5 recaps next week. Pretty soon this kind of build is going to make me DVR RAW just so I can fast forward through this and watch the commercials. Then again that might be the plan.

I feel like I am going crazy like Daniel Bryan. He continues verbally sparring with AJ Lee, and AJ keeps crushing Bryan with her endless supply of massive monsters. Kane is an anger management therapist, and Charlie Sheen is his buddy. Daniel point on the booking sheet where creative touched you.

Albert Del Rio will continue to tell us he won't wrestle, and then he will wrestle. Makes me believe him when he says he is going to win the World title. Here's an idea ADR, don't wrestle! Do some heelish things like roll out of the ring when bell tolls, and walk out instead of wrestling, or don't come out when your music plays. Maybe even stage a sit in in your nice car in the parking lot. How about having RR get you DQ'd as the bell rings by hitting your opponent with a chair and then the two of you destroy that person. All of these avoid wrestling a match, get you over as a heel, and help you keep your word until Summer Slam. Come on man!

Randy Orton, the viper with a hash pipe, is back! He'll demolish somebody else tonight. I am guessing it is Jack Swagger. He hasn't taken an RKO in months. Must be good for backstage morale that a guy can get strike two and comes back with a bigger push than half the talent that toes the line. If I was an undercard wrestler I would try to give Orton some weed brownies at the catering table.

Finally it is CM Punk feuding with AJ Lee as John Cena continues his feud with Big Show by both facing the champ at Summer Slam in a triple threat match. That is some world class weaving of storylines. I actually like it, especially if it keeps the strap off Cena for a few months. I am still holding out for a Punk vs. Rock match at Royal Rumble. AJ Lee establishing herself against Bryan and Punk might be a good thing down the line, but right now it is a bumpy start. I hope tonight, take 2 of AJ the GM goes better.

Check back tomorrow for a review of tonight's show. I'll be checking it out on DVR, but will try to tweet my live thoughts. That is if I'm not tossing my phone against the wall during the 4th HHH/Brock recap promo.

To keep you calm check out this video prepping for the upcoming CM Punk DVD:

Words From William Regal

One of my favorite wrestlers of all time, William Regal, dropped this pearl of wisdom on Twitter. Follow him @realkingregal to enjoy his dark humor and great advice. I decided I couldn't write anything better than this today. It might be the best thing that has ever been said to those who wish to lace up the boots and make a living in the squared circle. Listen up knuckleheads:

"Updated tips on being a Pro Wrestler/Sports Entertainer for those who've asked.It takes a lot more work to being a WWE superstar than an few Pro Wrestling holds and throws. You must develop all your skills and that usually comes from help from more experienced pro's. I never had to be told to ask for help and guidance and never to this day stop working on my skills. Sitting round texting, playing games and whining will get you know where. No one owes you a living.

So that I don't come across like a miserable old git (insert joke), I will happily give some free advice to up and coming Pro Wrestlers:

Find a school with a good rep and a trainer who has a great pedigree. Learn the basics properly.Get and stay in good condition,there's a big difference from looking in condition to actually being in condition.I'm a believer in Hindu squats, Hindu push ups and most importantly proper bridging (nose on mat,feet flat on mat).Work hard and have respect for the job.Good manners go a long way.Treat people the way you would like to be treated.Enjoy it.

Now once you are training:

- Make everything you do mean something or don't bother doing it.

- Study the greats and the people who the great ones admire.Very important.

- Get a good base of basics and perfect them. Don't take this for granted.

- Work at perfecting your skills but be honest with yourself. If there are things you don't do well then avoid doing them.

- Try to find someone who will give you an honest answer about your skills. Most people's ego won't allow them to think they do things badly.

- Practice your talking skills. Use a mirror and film yourself and work on every detail, facials, eyes and mannerisms.Learn a one minute promo and when you've got that perfect then do the same promo, the exact same words, in a many different emotions that you can think of(happy,sad,mad,indifferent,verge of a break down etc). Once you get good a this you can start inter changing them in one promo and your skill level will increase greatly.

- Look to the world to find things that you can use to develop your character. Films, TV shows and anything else that grabs your attention.

- Learn how to read people's emotions. This tip is invaluable. People don't just boo or cheer. You have to learn how to make them.

Only one in a million has the Elvis factor( old reference but I can't think of a better one). If you truly have that quality then you can get away with anything but the majority of us don't so don't take your skills for granted. I believe that that the more time you put into learning the details the better and longer your career will be.

Watch this match and really study everything they do.You should aim for this standard if you are interested in technical wrestling

I know I'm the last person you want to listen to about physique training but it's very important these days.From seeing how the smart people train now it seems as though compound movements like squats, deadlifts etc build better, more functional, resilient bodies for our business. Bodybuilding movements don't.Like I said, this is just what I see and hear .

Learn from the mistakes of the people who have come before you (including me) and try not to make them.

To make it in the WWE you have to be very adaptable and willing to make any character or opportunity work. Heres some very good advise.Make a list of the worst possible situations and character traits you be asked to do. Now make up a character and promos involving those traits and work on perfecting that character and promo (on your own otherwise you'll get locked up).Make those things second nature. Now you've taken away some of your fears so whatever you are asked to do should be easier. Dont skip this task. Very few people who come to the WWE end up being the character they envisioned.
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The most important things you have to make you connect with an audience are your eyes. If you believe in yourself and your persona it will be evident in your eyes.You cannot show any real emotion without your eyes. So,if you're interested in being taken seriously then never wear anything to cover them. This will offend a lot of people but you don't look cool wearing sunglasses indoors.You look a divvy. There are many big stars who have worn them but you'll find most will take them off when they're making a serious point or they just have that special magic that only 1 in a million have.

If you are a normal person like myself and you don't have that one in a million Elvis quality (a lot of people are delusional about this) then to make yourself valuable I suggest you study as many different styles of our business as possible. You never know how the industry will change and if you can only wrestle one way you may be left behind.It goes back to the being adaptable tip from before.

A great tip from Roddy Piper "always wrestle from your heart". This sounds simple but it's not.Don't play at pro wrestling,feel it and you will be a better pro.

One more tip. Everyone takes ideas from others but make them your own. Try to be original. Be a one off.

That's enough for today. Sounds simple enough but very few put those ideas into practice. Use common sense. Everything is in those tweets. Figure them out. In other words don't be a div. I can't hold your hand."

How awesome was that? Yeah I got goosebumps!

The WWE GM Problem

This Friday on Smackdown the new GM for the show will be announced by Vince McMahon. If you haven’t read a spoiler then I would stop reading this blog until Saturday morning. If you’re still reading then you know that it will be Booker T that becomes the Smackdown GM. Along with AJ Lee, the two make up the on screen upper management in the WWE. They are the people that stand between the unseen, and all powerful, WWE Board of Directors and the WWE Universe with the WWE talent caught in the crossfire.

The two replace Johnny Ace, who lost his GM powers a few weeks back. Ace was one in a long line of short lived GMs or Commissioners in the WWE. From the popular Mick Foley to the unpopular Vickie Guerrero, and the loathed Anonymous GM, the role of show boss has always been a mixed bag of tricks that gets the bums rush when creative gets bored. How many successful businesses do you know that switch bosses two or three times a year? The answer is none.

Be it hated or loved, the WWE Universe rarely has time to latch on to a GM. Just when we get comfortable with a personality they are removed in favor of the flavor of the month. AJ came out of nowhere and so now she is the RAW GM. That’ll probably be over before X-mas when Vince gets tired of her, and then who is next? The same can be said of Booker T, who could barely cut it as an announcer.

Recently the WWE has been doing something shocking. They have been planning ahead. They took a year to build up to The Rock vs. Cena. They have used a whole summer to build up to HHH vs. Brock. Now they are using the rest of the year to build toward the Rock challenging for the WWE championship. They need to start doing the same with their GMs. They need to plan for the long term, instead of who is hot right now.

This interchange of GMs every few months may be a quick way to produce some excitement for the audience, but well thought out storylines that utilize the GM can have an even bigger effect that is long lasting as part of the mythos of the GM’s character. Much in the same way that years later Stone Cold Steve Austin is known for not tapping out to Bret Hart, which led to adding depth to his character. This can happen for a GM that has long term interactions with the talent on screen instead of always being flushed away at the first sign of going stale. If going stale got you fired then Steve Austin would be doing the Ring Master gimmick on the indies right now.

When I look at Booker T, I see somebody that the WWE fans already know. He hasn’t changed much in years. He has the same corny lines and the spinaroonie. When those two things run their course by the end of the year, he will be out as GM. Then we’ll have to go through another for a few months until that one is run out of town.

AJ looks to be going down the same path. Only a few weeks ago she was one of the most interesting characters because she was different. She was going crazy. She wasn’t acting like a cookie cutter diva. Now in her first week as GM she shows up in a pant suit, and acts more like a contestant on the Apprentice than the off her rocker Queen of crazy that fans fell in love with. It would seem the only change her character has gone through was from unique to same old same old.

Until the WWE figures out a long term plan for one of their main roles, the overall product will suffer. The GM role is vital because it plays on so many platforms. It helps establish the show to the audience and explain parts to the viewers that a vignette or a match couldn’t. A GM gives a feud direction by being the outside force that can dictate matches, stipulations, and play the neutral ground (or in heel GM cases, not so neutral ground). The GM also can help creative explain certain jumps in logic like why one person is now doing something, why a talent is not on a show, or why a certain match is set up. These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the roles that a GM plays on the show.

With the two new GMs in place hopefully planning long term will become a staple for both AJ and Booker. Hopefully their characters will grow and change into something more than the usual GM that becomes stale and then becomes replaced. When the WWE establishes a GM with tenure then the audience can establish the emotions to either love or hate that character not because of what they are doing, but because of what they have done.

That kind of love or hate runs deep and is more effective at drawing in the fans than the hotshotting of a character, which may give instant success, but never lasting effects. Keeping fans for decades should be the purpose of storylines, because they’ll produce future fans. Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair get pops twenty years after their prime because their characters became loved and hated at a visceral level.

The turnstile hiring and firing of GMs won’t even run skin deep with fans, who will brush them off like dust on a shoulder. This seems to be a lesson that WWE creative has yet to learn with all their characters, but mostly their GMs. Then again if learning from past mistakes was a WWE strong suit then we wouldn’t have seen Mae Young’s son last week. That’s a whole different kind of hate from the past.

Monday Night RAW: Wrestling, Recaps, and Idiots

Last night’s episode of RAW wasn’t bad, it was just long. It felt even longer because of all the recaps that kept on getting replayed throughout the show. Hey guess what WWE, most of your fans are watching the whole three hours and last week, so they don’t need 45 minutes of their time wasted by recaps. How about putting on more wrestling, new characters, or developing your Summer Slam main event? That means creative was my first idiot of the night.

My second idiot of the night was AJ Lee. She’s now the GM and has gone heelish vanilla. What I mean by that is she lost her personality now that she has power and acts like somebody who is just being fed lines instead of being a unique character. The heelish part is that she seems to be doing half of her actions out of vengeance. She is acting like a scorned girl version of Johnny Ace. Is it because she’s a chick that it makes her a face?  She screws over Daniel Bryan and then she screws over CM Punk; yet does little else during the show. For her first show as GM I give AJ an incomplete because that’s what her performance felt like.

The third, and biggest, idiot of the night was AW. I said a few weeks back that having a live mic on this guy was going to be a bad idea. He doesn’t seem to do well thinking on his feet. He showed I was right last night when he used a Kobe Bryant rape joke. Not even popular comedian Daniel Tosh can pull off a rape joke, so why does AW think he has a chance of doing it? The only good that comes from this might be that AW gets removed from TV. He is new enough that if he was pulled from TV fans wouldn’t even know. Hell by Summer Slam they would probably forget who he even was.

The Prime Time Players have a lot of promise as a tag team. It would seem that they are headed toward a tag title run. Cut the dead weight that is their manager before his lack of talent brings them crashing down. If the WWE thinks they need a manager so bad then why not give them to Vickie Guerrero? She is a heat magnet, she knows how to handle herself, and two young party boys play into her cougar gimmick. It’s not rocket science, its wrestling.

One thing about going three hours that was great was the extended length of the main matches. The Albery Del Rio match was great. He has really hit his stride as of late. I know Sheamus is being booked as this monster World champion, but ADR could do so much more with the strap around his waist. Having Sheamus, Rey Mysterio, and Dolph Ziggler coming at him from all angles is months of ticket selling storylines. I hope at Summer Slam that is what is in store for my new favorite Smackdown heel. Plus doing the arm breaker on the Cobra was a great little move.

Daniel Bryan is the man. He made Sheamus look like a million bucks in that street fight. They had some cool moments, and the flying knee off the stage made me pop. I knew Sheamus was going to win because he doesn’t put anybody over clean as of late, but Bryan made me doubt myself a couple of times.

The segments with the doctor and Bryan were good. The first one was ok, but the Charlie Sheen one had me laughing. The goat face segment was original, and I like the creativity in it. Bryan has really developed his personality. The end with Kane attacking him was good. They should have a decent match up with Sheen somehow involved at Summer Slam. It also makes sense since Kane is one of AJ’s exes. He still pines for her a bit, and so he’ll beat up Bryan for her. It adds another quality match to the PPV, which is a good thing.

The tag match was great. Give me Jericho, Christian, Ziggler, and Miz in the ring any day of the week. They told a great story. Each had their own interactions with their respective feud. They had some cool spots, and the end was what it should have been with Jericho getting the advantage over the Miz. The aftermath with Ziggler smashing Jericho was spot on too. This build to their feud has been well crafted, and adds yet another good match to the PPV.

The middle matches like Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai, Orton vs. Slater, and O’Neil vs. Kingston were nothing special. Orton debuting was cool, but that’s all it was. Tensai just doesn’t do it for me. He gives tons of effort and seems like a guy who really puts in his all. It just isn’t my cup of tea. I think Kidd could be valuable, but not in this feud. These three matches were more filler to me than anything else.

The new direction of CM Punk has begun. He’s now feeling disrespected because he’s the WWE Champion and he should be the main attraction. I like it, but the WWE better be careful of burning him out. He appeared a lot last night in non-wrestling roles. He was opening the show, and closing it, with a promo segment in the middle with Cena. Too much of a good thing can make the audience go sour on him.

Also why didn’t he wrestling Jerry Lawler last night? He had issues with Lawler. The creative team wants to turn Punk heel. Everybody loves the King. It’s a no brainer, plus Punk can protect Lawler in the ring. They started out like they were going to have a match, but instead they got into war of words on commentary. Unless this has a payoff next week of Punk vs. Lawler, then it is a lot of wasted energy when more focus should be on Punk’s true opponents, Big Show and John Cena.

Speaking of Superman and Doomsday, they had a sloppy match. It wasn’t a bad match but there were moments where things didn’t click. Like when Show goes to toss Cena off during a pin attempt and Cena stands up then flings himself to the ropes. It just looks bad.

The end of the match with Cena being missile tossed into Punk was cool. The whole laid out until the 9 count only to gain the strength to dead sprint to the ring in less than a second looks stupid. I hate that spot because why doesn’t Cena have the energy to move after that? It insults our intelligence.

The very end after Punk laid out Show and Cena felt very flat. Again this comes from AJ, who gives little to the moment by announcing the Summer Slam match. Punk is screaming at her and she acts like nothing is going on. Give me some emotion in the face of his anger. What about putting Punk in a match next week? Like against Jerry Lawler. It’s something they could have promoted all week.

Maybe even make it for the title to add some spice. Have AJ say if Punk doesn’t want to be in the triple threat then he won’t be if he loses the title to Lawler next week. It is a small story arc that plays off what happened most of the show plus gives the WWE something to promote for a week. Maybe even have the match lead off the show. Again it’s not rocket science, its wrestling.

Overall the show was good. I liked the longer wrestling matches. I even liked some of the segments with Daniel Bryan, and the promo with Punk & Cena. It also had a lot of downfalls. I hope next week that there is no AW and a whole lot less recaps. It wouldn’t hurt to have somebody from the Summer Slam main event on the show. Three weeks from the PPV, yet HHH, Brock, and Heyman are nowhere to be seen. If that kind of booking continues then the same could be said about viewers.