I'd Pay To See The Crowd

WrestleMania was horrible. I watched the Cena and Rock match again yesterday, as I fell asleep during it the night before. The finish was fun, but the first 75% wasn't. I had to watch RAW last night because you can't skip the night after Mania. Especially now that it has become the night where the hardcore fans pack one arena and take over the show.

Remember last year? (Daniel Bryan's bank account does) YES! YES! YES!

It would seem that the night after WrestleMania has actually become the don't miss event. The actual BIG show has all the stars but none of the energy. The show last night was a blast and I'd watch that crowd again.

They had energy. They had anger. They had fun.

How special was it for Dolph Ziggler to capture the title last night in front of those crazy fans who truly appreciate all he has done despite the best efforts by the WWE creative team to bury him? He might be #Heel, but even he wants to feel the warmth of the most vocals fans.

Also, maybe Fandango should give a big thanks because that crowd made him a star last night. The humming of his theme song during his match, after his match, matches later on, as the show ended, in the parking lot leaving the building, and even by car horns as the crowd left the parking lot. Amazing.

Maybe the WWE should stop paying The Rock and Brock millions and just pay this crowd to be at every event each week. I bet rating would be better. I know the shows would be more entertaining.

Some worker friends of mine shit on the crowd. They couldn't believe these "marks" could be so disrespectful.

My response: Look in the mirror. The fans wouldn't chant during your match if you gave them a reason not to. Randy and Sheamus have been crammed down people's throats for years, well guess what not everyone is a 12 yr old boy or their Mom (Sheamus & RKO's demographic).

It's the 10PM hour and there isn't a sign of CM Punk, Brock, HHH, or Rock. Hell the Shield was only on screen for 5 minutes. Also where is Antonio Cesaro? That is why you chant, because if the WWE doesn't care about the WWE fans, then the fans don't need to care about the WWE.

I'm probably done for a bit with watching wrestling. I want my last memory to be that crowd. Like being able to die during sex. You want to go out with a bang. (Get It)

I'll keep checking the dirt sheets, but it looks like it is time to cool my heels for a bit. That is until the Monday after WrestleMania next year. That is must watch TV.

"WE ARE AWESOME, WE ARE AWESOME, WE ARE AWESOME!"

Quazi’s Crystal Ball: The Elimination Chamber

(None of These Men Are In A Chamber Match)

We’re on the road to WrestleMania. Right now it is time for that pee break at the shady rest area with holes in the stalls known as, “The Elimination Chamber”. Normally this pay per view isn’t anything special, and just aligns the last few pieces headed into WrestleMania. This year is a bit different. The Rock is champion. The pay per view now only has one chamber match. Also John Cena has found his own Macho Man & Miss Elizabeth, and formed a Mega Powers for this generation. I’ll let you guess who Liz is and who is Savage.

Since this pay per view is sandwiched between the two biggest events on the WWE calendar, it traditionally gets lost in the shuffle. The WWE rolls out two chamber matches for the titles, the rumble winner waits to see who emerges, and the WWE sells tickets based on plunder. This edition of the Elimination Chamber PPV has a different feel to it. It feels like a real event and not a pit stop on our way to bigger and better things.

A lot of this is due to The Rock. He and CM Punk will once again headline a pay per view and make the namesake of the event part of the undercard. The Chamber match has a variety of intriguing storylines. A case can (and will) be made for all six men to challenge for the World title. The World title should be wrapping up a decent feud. Alberto Del Rio is now a full-fledged face and that means this feud has run its course. Finally, The Shield goes toe-to-toe with the WWE all-star team of John Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback (A.k.a. The Just-Us League). I don’t know who is winning, but I know which Jort wearing superhero isn’t taking the pin.

Now I’m going to crank my Vanilla Ice station on Pandora and get this preview and prediction going … A1A BEACHFRONT AVENUE!

Brodus Clay & Tensai vs. Team Rhodes Scholars – Internet Pre-Show Match

The Rhodes Scholars broke up a few weeks ago to try their hand at singles action. I don’t think they have won a match since. I don’t even think they have lasted longer than 5 minutes. Now they’re back as a tag team. I did see a funny picture over the weekend of Rhodes and Sandow at a press conference with the New Age Outlaws where they had a “Rhodes Scholars Reunion Tour” T-shirt. If that is the direction they are going with this then I am a big fan of that. I like them better as a team than as singles. They are good times on the mic and in the ring.

Tensai and Clay are the bastard child of one of the worst segments in WWE history. Tensai danced and Clay acted like a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Now they are a tag team. They are even asking the twitterverse for a new team name. I’m guessing it will be unveiled during this match. My vote goes to, “Monsters of Funk”.

This will probably be the easiest match to call during the event. There is no chance that the Rhodes Scholars derail the Funk Train before it gets out of the station. It should be a nice 8 minute match. Maybe even get the Rhodes Scholars back in the tag division. If that happens then we all win.

Winner: Clay & Tensai (and wrestling writers when the two dancing ladies touch butts)

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka – WWE Divas Title

Kaitlyn makes her first pay per view title defense. Tamina Snuka can wrestle. I’ll be in the bathroom. I am guessing this match goes on between the Chamber match and the Rock vs. Punk main event. Nothing to really preview here. If the WWE isn’t going to invest time into developing this division, then I’m not investing mine in talking about.

Winner: Kaitlyn (and my beer soaked bladder)

Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz – WWE United States Championship

I am a big fan of Cesaro. He is so talented in the ring, and I enjoy his promos. Some knock his ability with the mic, but I laugh every time he talks. His character and persona is a fresh twist on a classic heel. He also happens to be one of the strongest wrestlers the WWE has ever had. This past Monday when he tossed The Miz around like a small child was a very cool sight to see.

Miz has been a pin ball for the WWE. He is announcing for their Main Event show. He is kind of feuding with Dolph Ziggler as Ric Flair’s protégé. He also is dropping CM Punk on his neck. This feud has been a good undercard battle, but like Del Rio & Big Show, these two need fresh fights. It has run its course and I believe Miz needs something to help develop this “New Nature Boy” gimmick.

This should be another solid bout. Cesaro can help protect Miz in the ring. Miz isn’t a slouch himself. I think this is a perfect opener for the pay per view. It should also help catapult Cesaro into a higher standing with the WWE audience. His next feud needs to be with an upper mid-card talent. I just don’t see Miz as the US champ. It seems like the title does more for Antonio. If Miz wins that would be the shocker of the night.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro (and America... ‘Merica!)

Alberto Del Rio vs. The Big Show – WWE World Championship

This is the feud that will never end. I haven’t been a fan of this for the past few weeks. It just never seems to get legs as the storyline progresses. I like both men. I think Big Show is a good cocky heel. He should because he’s the biggest meanest man alive. I also like Alberto Del Rio as a baby face. The transition is complete. The two of them together just haven’t clicked for me.

I’m assuming this feud wraps up and both men go their separate ways. Gee that is being said a lot for this pay per view. It should be a good match but they started this feud with a plunder match and are wrapping it with a traditional singles match. That is some backwards booking, but it helped achieve the new fan friendly Del Rio. I again can’t see Big Show walking out with the strap. Too many great contenders in the Chamber match for Del Rio.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio (and the male scarf industry)

The Shield vs. The Just-Us League

Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns have been the best thing the WWE has done in a long, long time. They are the Nexus with better writing. They are three talented performers with each having a unique persona that sets them apart. Ambrose is the crazy mastermind with a silver tongue. Rollins comes off as the daredevil willing to do whatever to achieve his goal. Reigns is a certified nasty beast with some great charisma. The WWE has protected them with a limited amount of wrestling including never giving away matches for free on TV.

John Cena has to wait until Mania to get his title match. That means he has time to fight The Shield. He has two new buddies in Sheamus and Ryback. They are all muscle heads who can’t stand that three punks like the Shield think they can be main eventers. They don’t even have biceps on top of biceps or veins shooting out of their necks, what kind of main eventers could they be?!? It would seem that Cena and company are the symbolic glass ceiling coming for the new guys. They are the Just-Us League.

Traditionally this is where Cena crushes the Shield and uses their momentum to propel himself into WrestleMania. The Shield has been so protected that I think the WWE doesn’t want to do anything to stop their rise. I don’t see Cena taking the pin as he needs to be untarnished when facing the WWE champion in New York. I also don’t see Ryback getting beat as he continues to build a strong following. That means it looks like the ginger warrior is going to get a 3 second tan.

Winner: The Shield (and Smarks around the globe)

Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry vs. Jack Swagger
Elimination Chamber Match: Winner gets a World title shot at WrestleMania

This is a true crap shoot of a match up. I have no real clue who is going to walk out and face Del Rio for the title at WrestleMania. All six men have great cases for being the one to get the chance.

Bryan and Kane are still tag champs. They are headed toward a split. I don’t think either is getting a title shot because there is still more to be done with the duo. They have both been great assets for the company, but neither needs the title picture right now. I see them squaring off at Mania, possibly in a singles match for the tag titles.

Chris Jericho would be my dark horse but he seems to have unfinished business with Dolph Ziggler. Unless Ziggs cashes in the money in the bank on Del Rio, then Jericho isn’t winning. Now if Dolph does win the title from Del Rio that changes things. Jericho would be the top choice to win this thing. Right now I think the WWE is going to ride out Del Rio for a bit longer.

Jack Swagger is coming back with a vengeance. His new persona with manager Uncle Zeb is tailor made for a feud with Del Rio. He is the right wing crazy nut job that thinks immigrants are ruining this country. He’s a real American patriot. He’s Ted Nugent with a bowl cut. He needs to build this character. His shot at Del Rio is probably happening post-Mania.

Reefer Randy and Mark Henry are the true two when it comes to this match. I am fifty-fifty on both. Orton has a long history with Del Rio, and that could help sell this match up as now Del Rio is the baby face & Orton is heading toward heel status. The WWE could use this few weeks to make the turn and give Del Rio a very creditable win at WrestleMania.

Mark Henry is a beast and has come back stronger than ever. He is tearing the WWE midcard a new ass. He, like Swagger, might be too fresh to challenge for the title. His character is so established though it might not matter. I just don’t think losing at WrestleMania is going to be good for the long run. A Henry vs. Del Rio match at Summer Slam might be better.

Winner: Randy Orton (and his pot dealer… puff puff RKO!!!)

The Rock vs. CM Punk – WWE Championship – Rock Loses Title on DQ or Count Out

The Rock won the title and the WWE championship hasn’t been seen on a house show since. It also didn’t appear on an episode of RAW two week ago. Hell the champ forgot for 7 minutes during his promo this week to even mention the pay per view this Sunday. He did have a Super Bowl commercial, and three major motion pictures coming out, so that balances things out.

There is no doubt the WWE is better with The Rock in the fold. He brings casual fans back to the product. He sells tickets. He just doesn’t need the WWE title to do so. The guy sells tickets if you promote that he will be doing a cooking demo in the ring. Pancakes with The Rock would be the highest rated segment on RAW. It just stings to purists like myself that the WWE’s top title has been M.I.A. from the product for nearly three weeks. It shows that the WWE really cares more about the “E” than the “W”.

CM Punk on the other hand has been lights out since losing the title. He has carried this feud on his own. His promos are top notch. He has been tearing the house down in the ring with any talent on the roster. The Alfred to his Batman, Paul Heyman, has been on a solid run too. Add it all together and it turns this rematch into one of the biggest matches of the year. No thanks to the WWE champ.

Again the two will have a great match. I would think better than their Royal Rumble show down since Rock has gotten some ring rust off and they both have a feeling for one another now. The stipulation came out of nowhere, so that has to play a role. Also Brock Lesnar is always lurking in the wings. I think shenanigans will unfold. I just don’t see the WWE dropping the idea of Cena vs. Rock 2.

I could see Punk winning by DQ or Count Out, and the stipulation being disputed the next night on RAW. Something like Vince’s voice on the phone was doctored by Paul Heyman and HHH comes out to throw out the decision. That leads to Brock and HHH getting in each other’s faces. This would be the kick off to their WrestleMania match. That would mean the “winner” on the pay per view would be …

Winner: By Shenanigans, the NEW WWE Champion CM Punk (and house show audiences)

The only match that hasn’t made the card is an intercontinental title match for Wade Barrett. I assume his next title defense is against Bo Dallas. They might save that for the next night on RAW. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had some kind of angle during the PPV like a backstage attack during a promo.

From top to bottom this looks to be one of the best pay per view offering the WWE has had this year. The Rock being on the card makes anything look better, but there is 3 quality main event matches here. It bodes very well for the strength of this year’s WrestleMania. As a wrestling fan, I’m getting spoiled in 2013. Aside from that 9 PM hour a couple weeks ago on RAW, that still hurts.

I recommend shelling out the cash for this show. It should have a couple twists during the broadcast. Don’t do it in HD. It isn’t worth the extra 15 bucks. Use that money to get beer. It makes the Divas match more entertaining, or at least makes sure you have a reason to use the bathroom when they come out. Drunk or pissing, either way you’re a winner!

Quazi’s Crystal Ball: The Royal Rumble



The Royal Rumble is almost upon us, and I can’t wait. It is easily one of the best pay per views of the year because it always has the mystique of not knowing what is going to happen. Even if you believe you think you know who the winner is going to be, there is usually a surprise entrant or some kind of swerve that keeps the Rumble fresh and exciting. There are some years where this is the best pay per view that the WWE does. That includes WrestleMania.

This year we have the joy of not only the 30-man over the top Royal Rumble but we have a dream match for the ages. Much like when Hogan faced The Rock or Flair hooked up with HBK, The Rock vs. CM Punk is as close to a can’t miss match as wrestling fans get. Those two matches alone make this Sunday a must buy. There are also a couple of other good matches that have been added to the card that make it a really strong showing by the WWE. It truly is WrestleMania season. Here’s a look at each match.

Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz - United States Championship

This match was announced for the online pre-show. Their feud has been going pretty well on WWE Main Event. The show is actually an enjoyable hour of TV on a Wednesday. I have a feeling that the WWE is going to break these two apart with Miz doing his Flair's apprentice angle and Antonio moving on to a new challenger for WrestleMania season. Miz's work has slumped a bit lately. Cesaro is becoming a hot star in the company. With this being on the pre-show, I don't see a title change in the future. This also makes me believe neither has a true shot at winning the 30-man Royal Rumble match, but they did get some rub during the Beat The Clock challenge. So who knows.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro (Your United States Champion!)

Kaitlyn vs. A WWE Diva

This hasn’t been announced. Kaitlyn just got crowned Divas champion. Yet the Divas division is traditionally used as a buffer or bathroom break between big matches. I don’t know if this goes on between Rock/Punk and The Rumble or before Rock/Punk. I do know it won’t be worth the price of admission. I for one would like to see Natalya get the shot. Tonight on Smackdown she gets a win, which might be a sign she'll get a shot at the strap at the PPV. She is probably the best female wrestler left on the WWE roster. As my friend Sign Guy Joe always said, “Low expectations brings higher returns”, so this match should be better than I thought as long as both ladies don’t pull a Jackie Gayda.

Winner: Kaitlyn (Duh)

Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Team Hell No – WWE Tag Team Titles

Daniel Bryan and Kane have become one of the most enjoyable parts of the WWE. They are both good in the ring. Bryan is a certified workhorse between the ropes much like Ricky Steamboat or Chris Benoit. Kane has always been great in his character as it continues to evolve. The two as a comedy duo are pure gold with some of the campiest segments. You don’t change the channel when Team Hell No is on TV. That is saying something.

Team Rhodes Scholars has quickly become another joy to watch in this revitalized tag team division. Cody Rhodes has tried to do the singles action but he finds better success in tag teams. Sandow is a good young talent with an amazing persona. The two have meshed well and play the smarmy high class heels to perfection. Also Cody’s mustache is epic. Super Troopers had a baby with Magnum PI and made a 70’s porno epic.

These two teams should have another good match to continue their feud. Kane and Bryan beat Sandow and Rhodes in squash matches last week on RAW. It doesn’t seem that Kane and Bryan should lose this match at this point in the feud. They have been booked too strong against Rhodes and Sandow. Also fans still go nuts for Team Hell No and their antics. I don’t see them dropping the belts until Mania. Also with the reported rumor of the New Age Outlaws coming to the Rumble, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a dream match between the NAO and Team Hell No. The promos alone should be great.

Winner: Team Hell No (YES! YES! YES!)

The Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio – Last Man Standing Match for the World Title

This feud has been thrown together quickly. Albert Del Rio had a surprise win on Smackdown a few weeks ago to capture the title. They are not doing another Last Man Standing match. That is a quick burn on this feud. Not a lot of time to develop the rivalry. It really looks like this was all done to complete the face turn of Del Rio as he prepares to face off with Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, and Orton at the Elimination Chamber.

The Big Show is a trooper. The man always seems to do the right thing when it comes to the WWE. He place holds the World title for them as they pass it from Sheamus to Del Rio. Now he is helping turn Del Rio into Smackdown’s biggest star. I don’t know how many years he has left but dude deserves to be a first ballot hall of famer. He might even be a better worker than Andre the Giant, and that is saying something.

This match should be some good plunder, but I don’t see the WWE taking the strap off Alberto after a few weeks. While I do think this will be a short title reign I believe he keeps the title until Elimination Chamber. The Big Show will again do the job here with some kind of cheap ending. Something like Del Rio hits him with a car. I hope not that, but something in that vein of screwy endings. I don’t see Big Show getting legit 10 counted by Del Rio.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio (Until Next Month)

The Rock vs. CM Punk – WWE Championship

This might be the biggest match on the pay per view. These two are both megastars right now. The Rock will always have his fans. He is the Magic Johnson of the Attitude era. He was showtime. Steve Austin might have been the biggest name, but Rock was the kind of wrestler than formed the “sports entertainment” version of the current WWE product with catch phrases and goofy over-the-top characters. I mean he turned an elbow drop into a believable finisher. Hello, Five Knuckle shuffle.

CM Punk is probably the best wrestler to step foot in the WWE ring since HBK. He might even be better. His mic skills are the best of his generation. Between the ropes he is light years ahead of most in the company. He has a persona that blurs the lines of reality as fans don’t know where the on-screen and off-screen CM Punk differ. He can make any talent look better than they are, and that is rare today. He also might be the one person who equals The Rock’s current stardom in the WWE with his own strong base of loyal die-hard fans.

This Sunday is the clash of the two schools of pro wrestling. The Rock represents the “entertainment” faction that has been the last decade of the WWE. CM Punk represents the “wrasslin” faction that once was the corner stone of the sport that Harley Race, Ric Flair, and Macho Man Randy Savage built. This has all the makings of a true wrestling classic. It could be too much pressure, but both men traditionally excel beyond the height of expectation. No matter what happens the wrestling world will be talking about this match for months.

Winner: CM Punk (If the WWE wants to make real money)

30-Man Royal Rumble

It is the crown jewel of the pay per view. It is the most exciting 70+ minute match in the company. The match traditionally has surprise entrants and cool spots. There is talk of former talents like Shelton Benjamin, MVP, and The New Age Outlaws returning to the company in this match. I would also expect The Undertaker and Brock Lesnar to have appearances, but I’m not counting on either.

As far as favorites go, I would say that John Cena and the six men from the Beat The Clock challenge: Antonia Cesaro, Wade Barrett, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler Sheamus, and “Reefer” Randy Orton have the best chance to win it. Then again the WWE can always toss a wrench in the plans. It is the Rumble and nothing is certain. Well accept that one year when everyone knew HHH was gonna win it.

This year looks to be Superman In Jorts. It just seems that Cena and Rock are on a collision course for WrestleMania. The WWE believes their rematch is the true money maker. I for one think the current WWE title feud is the real money maker. I have a feeling I’m going to be wrong, but I think they can still have Cena pull this one out and get their rematch at the next PPV. Just read my Armchair Booker article from a few weeks back.

Winner: John Cena (Only to lose his Main Event Spot to The Rock at Elimination Chamber)

That is my look into the crystal ball for WWE’s Royal Rumble. It should be a good time this Sunday as the WWE has a couple can’t miss match ups. Enjoy and hopefully we get a couple surprises that make you tingle all over. Like when Hogan slammed Giant or Tyson KO’d Michaels. Those were good times, and great memories. The WWE needs to start making more of those again. They’ve been in short supply recently.

Armchair Booker: When Taker Met Punk

Earlier this week I talked about the state of the WWE creative team and how Vince McMahon is fed up with the current direction of the WWE writers. I laid out a loose plan for how to fix what is broken. My keystone idea being that the WrestleMania 29 main event should be the Undertaker vs. CM Punk for the WWE title in a streak vs. streak match. With that in mind you can book the rest of your year to build toward that pinnacle point. I said I would go deeper into this idea, and share some of my booking beliefs that I used in starting two different regional wrestling television shows, both highly rated in their timeslots, and a series of nationally distributed DVDs. Let’s dive in.

CM Punk is the hottest talent on the WWE roster today. John Cena is the most established. There is a difference. Cena has a very loyal fan base, but CM Punk has a constantly expanding fan base. Not all of these people are supporters of Punk, but more people are putting eyes on Punk than Cena these days. Even the high brass at Comic Con said that Punk was a better draw for them this year than Cena had been in the past. Be it to cheer for him, or to watch him get beat up, more people are opening their wallets to see CM Punk. That is why he is the WWE champion, and that is why he needs to be at the top of the WrestleMania 29 bill.

The Undertaker is the hottest talent in WWE history. He can stay away from the WWE for months, and with a toll of his bell, the fans are rabid to see him walk the aisle. He might be the greatest persona in pro wrestling history, dating back to the original carnival days. His undefeated streak at WrestleMania makes him a top draw each year. People want to see what is going to happen next, and at 20+ years, they don’t know which match is his last. This built in hype, and near god-like status, makes the Undertaker a necessity for the main event at WrestleMania 29. He’s a draw by just walking out the curtain, and that’s a great foundation to build on.

The two also have a small history. It’s only a few minutes on the CM Punk “Best in the World” DVD, but it was Undertaker vs. Punk for the world title after Summer Slam that cemented the disrespect the WWE brain trust had for Punk. They took a hot talent coming out of a sizzling feud, and fed him to the phenom. On the DVD they state that Taker had no respect for Punk going into their program, but over time that changed. It’s a great starting point given the current “No Respect” card being played by CM Punk. The standard bearer of the WWE is the only man left standing in the way of CM Punk getting the respect he believes that he deserves. The kind of respect that can’t be denied after beating the Undertaker at WrestleMania.

This is one of the many drawing factors for this match. There is the streak vs. streak dynamic. The Undertaker is 20-0. That is something in the current WWE that will never happen again. To get a talent that stays with the WWE for over two decades, and a creative team that handles that talent correctly the entire time, you’d have a higher success rate betting on Tammy Sytch staying out of prison. This will never happen again. Never. The uniqueness of the situation is another draw in itself. It’s like watching a comet that flies by the earth every millennium. It will never happen again during our life time. Things like this make money in any medium.

CM Punk is also doing something that will never happen again. He’s closing in on one year as WWE champion. That is something that doesn’t happen in the era of fans that have a train of thought only 140 characters long. By WrestleMania 29, he’ll be closing in on 18 months. It’s another unheard of situation that on its own draws people in. There will be fans who tune in because they don’t know when and if CM Punk is going to end the longest title reign since Hulk Hogan’s 1474 days between 1984-88. That’s before The Undertaker was lacing up his boots as “Mean” Mark Callous in WCW (1989). It’s a big deal.

As I stated earlier this week, it creates an unstoppable force vs. immovable object type of situation. Fans will tune in because they know something historic is going to happen. Neither looks to be giving ground, but one has to end. The mystery of the unknown has always been the best way to attract fans in pro wrestling, even more now in the “know-it-all” era. Add this dynamic to the draw both CM Punk and The Undertaker on their own have, and this angle has the steam to drive WrestleMania sales to record levels.

Just because you have the angle doesn’t mean you’re going to be a success.  Two things have to happen. The build to the match has to be good and the match has to deliver. You can’t promise prime rib, and give the fans tube steak.

The build on this match needs to be drawn out from the first RAW after the Royal Rumble up to WrestleMania 29. The Rock and Punk are fighting at the Rumble. No need to play the Undertaker card until after that takes place. Rock vs. Punk is going to be a good draw on its own, and will play an important role in setting the table for Mania. This is the match that is supposed to get Punk his respect. Beating the Rock is going to change everything for him. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

Punk beats Rock, but it doesn’t fill the hole in his ego. There isn’t a red carpet when he walks through the arena door. The locker room isn’t kissing his feet as he strolls through the back. Vince McMahon isn’t his personal ball washer. What does CM Punk have to do?

Cue the Undertaker.

Each year the Royal Rumble winner selects which title he is going to challenge for. Usually the winner comes out at the end of RAW and him haws between the World title and the WWE title. Whomever the winner is plays up the crowd, tilting to both sides, until eventually narrowing in on one champion. I would start with this.

The winner comes out and before he can start the Undertaker interrupts. He comes down and lays out that it doesn’t matter who he wants to pick. This year the Rumble winner will be facing the World champion because the Undertaker wants CM Punk and the WWE title. If you’ve got a baby face winner then he does the noble thing, tips his hat to the Taker, and leaves the ring. If you’ve got a heel winner, then he gets tossed out on his ass, and runs to the back with tail between legs. It gets established early than the Undertaker has that kind of clout and aura to bend things to his will. He’s the true King shit in the WWE universe.

Cue CM Punk.

The two meet in the ring. Punk talks respect. Taker lets him know respect is only earned by going to hell and back. They jab at each other for a few minutes. Finally a deal is made with the devil, only hang up is which guy is the Devil? The stakes are high for both, and the buzz begins.

Now you’ve got roughly 9 weeks to build this match up. The Undertaker stays protected. He’ll make appearances here and there for a promo or a vignette, but he isn’t wrestling. You save that for Mania. Punk can carry this feud on TV. He’ll even prove he’s better than the Undertaker by beating those victims of “The Streak”.

The next few weeks on RAW, a former WrestleMania opponent of the Undertaker gets rolled out to be taken down by CM Punk. Do the low hanging fruit first with the older legends like Snuka, Jake Roberts, or Sid that the WWE can send out for a cheap one night pop. Then move into the active roster opponents by having him face all the old opponents in an elimination chamber. That would be Kane, Orton, Tensai, Mark Henry, and Big Show. When Punk comes out champion, he can claim he beat five of Takers “victims” in one night. It also fills the required need for an Elimination Chamber match before Mania.

Finally the homestretch leading up to Mania is Punk being confronted by HHH, HBK, Nash, and Flair. He can run all four men down. He can talk about doing what they couldn’t. He has held the WWE title longer than any of them. Now he’s going to end the streak that claimed their careers. Its four weeks of dueling promos that should help build up the intensity of this match. The last two weeks then are spent drawing both the Undertaker and CM Punk into a collision course, with the closing moments being a face to face showdown filled with pipe bombs and near blows. They shouldn’t physically get involved, just tease it. Both men need to leave the ring with their head held high exuding the confidence that come Sunday they’ll have their hand raised.

The actual match is where the true magic and shock happens. First I would start the match entrances at 9:30 PM. The earlier start will have the smart fans wondering what is going on. They’ll believe that there is something big coming. It’s just too early to begin the main event.

The two will then wrestle for sixty minutes. It’s the kind of match the current WWE audience has never seen. Punk, if you’ve followed his career, is a master at the sixty minute match. He understands the pacing and how to protect somebody like the Undertaker, whose age can limit him. For an entire hour the two go to war. They pull out all the stops with false finishes, brawls outside the ring, etc. Then the bell rings to signify that time has expired. The match is a draw. Punk keeps his title, and The Undertaker is still undefeated. The fight doesn’t stop though.

As the bell rings they keep trading blows. The ref tries to pull them apart, and he’s laid out. They continue to fight all over the place because to them only one man is walking out tonight. More officials and security try to stop it, and they’re laid out too. For a good ten minutes Taker and Punk either fight each other or those trying to get between them. Finally the two fight on to the main stage trading big blow after big blow. Each man trying to finish the other with one big shot, their bodies broken and bloody. Then in the end, on their knees, they trade fists, chops, and head-butts. Finally, leaning on each other tossing noodle fists with both gas tanks empty, Taker and Punk collapse next to each other laid out on the main stage.

As WrestleMania ends officials, paramedics, and staff surround the two as double stretchers are wheeled out. Both men being checked on and eventually wheeled out as Punk holds a thumbs up in the air. He didn’t beat the Undertaker at WrestleMania, but he did something nobody has ever done. He survived him.

People will tune in the next night. Sure there will be fans that don’t like a draw finish, but it’s the one thing the WWE can do to protect the Taker’s streak, and pass the torch to the next generation before it is too late. It’s something nobody will see coming, and a moment that will cement the legacy of both men like what happened for Hogan and Andre at WM3.

You keep both men off RAW the next night to sell the brutality. The next week you promote the appearance of Punk the following week on RAW. Finally on the third RAW after Mania, you have Punk come out to address the fall out. This can lead to a new feud or it can start planting the seeds for their rematch at WrestleMania 30, probably both.

No matter what, if this was to happen it would always be remembered as the night Taker met Punk.

Armchair Booker: It’s All About WrestleMania

I haven’t really been in the wrestling loop the past few weeks. I even took a break from the internet for the weekend. Sometimes it is nice to be hold up in a spot that doesn’t even have cell phone reception. It lets you clear out your head, which is highly recommended at least once a year. Like an oil change for the brain. Then I came back Tuesday and waded back into technology. The first thing I saw was about CM Punk back fisting a fan. That made me hit the dirt sheets to find out more. The second thing I learned was that Vince McMahon verbally undressed his writers and gave the brain trust of the WWE creative team a swift kick in the pants. While the first had more sizzle, the second has more impact.

As far as CM Punk and the fans go, sucks that the guy got hit, but why didn’t he do anything to stop the mob of fans from pushing Punk down the stairs? Change the setting for a second. Take the WWE, Wrestling, and Fans out of the equation and look at it for what it was. If a guy is trying to be pushed down the stairs by a handful of people, and you’re standing less than a foot behind the person then isn’t doing nothing just helping those morons push the person down the stairs? It’s like the end of Seinfeld when they watched a guy get mugged but didn’t do anything about it. They went to jail, and this kid tasted the back of Punk’s hand. Justice is justice.

The kid who got hit isn’t pressing charges. Good for him. He didn’t have the balls to standup to the people around him who were trying to physically injure a person for their enjoyment. Maybe next time he’ll grow a pair and not let a guy get kidney punched & pushed down a flight of stairs. When we were kids and we did stupid shit then a smack on the head reminded us to not be an idiot. Seems this fan got exactly that. Had he stepped in and stopped a douchebag from being a douchebag then he wouldn’t have gotten a smack on the head. Lesson learned here: Grow a pair and don’t get smacked like a bitch.

Now onto the bigger news from the week: Vince McMahon is beyond pissed with the creative team, including preparing to diminish the role of his two senior writers and promoting some of the new blood. If you’ve been visiting this website for the past few months then you know I have no love loss for the creative team at World Wrestling Entertainment. They are old, tired, and burnt out. They haven’t produced a meaningful piece of television since maybe RAW 1000, and that really wasn’t their doing. This could be the transfusion of energy that the WWE as a whole needs to get over this stale hump they find themselves in.

It would seem that the WWE is under pressure from NBC to turn around ratings that have been in free fall since the switch to three hours and the beginning of the NFL season. The biggest issue being with the creative team that has the success rate of a drunken Ray Charles tossing darts. They could barely produce content for two hours of RAW and it hasn’t gotten any better by stretching the show to three hours. Some would say that the lack of compelling content also lies at the feet of the talent, which has a big drop off after the top tier of wrestlers on the roster. I believe that problem is also something you can attribute to the current creative team at the WWE.

There are undiscovered gems in the WWE right now. Their developmental system is stockpiled with future stars. Dean Ambrose, Kassius Ohno, Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt, and Luke Harper are just some of the future talents that the WWE creative team hasn’t unleashed yet. The main reason being that creative has nothing for them on the main show just yet. How can you call yourself creative if you can’t create? That is why the WWE is in its current situation. They have a whole team that can’t do what their name suggests. It’s like football players who can’t play football.

Now the reboot has started. New minds are being put in charge. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a slew of firings and hirings that take place over the next few weeks. Somebody once told me it is never nice to talk about people losing their jobs. Then again if they did their job right, they wouldn’t be losing it. Nobody has ever a fucked up a situation by doing it correctly.

Since this is an Armchair Booker article then I’m going to lay out how I believe it is done correctly. I’ve never worked for the WWE. I’m pretty sure I’ll never work for the WWE. Not to say I wouldn’t like the job. I just don’t see it in my cards. First off, I’ve never written a sitcom. Second, I still call sports entertainment pro wrestling. In my opinion Sports Entertainment has never pulled a 5 share, but Pro Wrestling has. There is a difference between the two.

To start the WWE needs to build their WrestleMania. I would believe this has happened. It’s creative writing 101. You need to know your destination before you can map out your path. Not to say that the WWE should have the entire show timed out with detailed segments, but a rough idea of the four main events on the show should be hashed out by now. Honestly this should be done before Summer Slam.

Without knowing what you’re building to then what direction are your current shows pushing towards? Without direction you’re drifting. Having your four main events for WrestleMania planned gives you something solid to begin building on. The middle stuff, or filler, can be hashed out later, but these main events need to be what drives the WWE car from day one. If you know you’re doing Cena vs. Rock 2 then Summer Slam & beyond needs to keep that in mind.

I for one would actually stay away from Rock vs. Cena at WrestleMania. The Rock is coming back at Royal Rumble. His initial draw for WrestleMania is being used up by that appearance. Some fans will tune in to see him at Mania, but his real effect will be seen at the Rumble. Unless he is going to return fulltime, then his value depreciates with appearances that close together. He has a high burn rate, and two months apart is too close to be a double draw.

From what I can tell you have The Rock signed on for Mania. You also have Brock Lesnar. Add into the mix The Undertaker, HHH, John Cena, and CM Punk. Those are your drawing six. They will sell the majority of tickets and PPV buys. Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Randy Orton, and Albert Del Rio are your second tier draw. They will move tickets and buys on their own, but nothing that tips the needle. I for one think by Mania that Bryan could be a draw, but right now he’s stuck in that limbo between the two. That is the ten talents you can build your show on.

To start I would determine what is the best possible true main event to close the show. This is the match that will sell the most and provides true sizzle. To me that takes HHH vs. Brock & Cena vs. Rock out of the picture. These sheep have both been sheared. They’ll push some sales but they no longer have the shine they once had. In fact I wouldn’t do either match on the card.

The Rock is a one match per talent type of wrestler right now. He gets the most bang for his buck when you can give him somebody fresh to feud with. He also needs to win at WrestleMania. It keeps his ego happy. Who is better for the Rock than Daniel Bryan? Bryan can protect Rock’s ring rust plus he has shown he can get over with any gimmick they give him. Rock vs Bryan has some roots in RAW 1000, and could be a solid 9pm hour main event. This is a really hot match that will blow a lot of fans away and is a possible show stealer. This slot on the card is the best place to put show stealers. It also puts a lot of pressure on your closing, or true main event, match.

John Cena is a draw for a select fan base. He has really burned out a good size portion of the fans. His true value is his hard work. He’ll never mail it in. That makes him the perfect bar setter. He should be the talent that is opening the show. He should be the man who says everyone has to be better than that tonight. That’s why I like Randy Orton vs. John Cena to open the show. They are both established talents. They have good matches with each other. Not putting either in a “Main Event” allows for a rehash of their feud. It’s not meant to be a ticket draw, but both have the ability to set the tone for the evening. That is very important for a big show. It might be why I have always considered the first match of a show as the second most important match behind the main event or closing match.

As for HHH, he’s going to wrestle. I just don’t think it should be Brock Lesnar. Their rematch should happen before WrestleMania. I would much rather see him in the ring with an Albert Del Rio. It’s fresh and the angle writes itself. ADR is HHH when he began. He’s a rich pompous ass with tons of talent. They can do a feud based around ADR being a younger HHH. The young lion will prove that the old lion isn’t who he used to be. The old lion will claim the young lion is him without the experience. They’re both good on the mic, and in the ring it should be a good story. I would say this is tailor made for the 7pm Main Event. Nice solid match up to keep building the night on. It will sell tickets.

With Brock free to fight then he needs to be tossing fists with the man who loves to fight, Sheamus. The young Irishman is being primed to be a top draw. He needs a blockbuster feud. The two would work very well together. Sheamus is a good rough and tough baby face. Brock is a great heartless bully. Their physical styles should mesh well together. Placing them as the 8pm Main Event should help protect them from any potholes. It’s the safest main event slot on the show.

That leaves the closer for the show. I for one would be keeping the title on CM Punk. He is a draw. Simply put, if he and John Cena stopped working for the WWE, then the company wouldn’t have a true ticket seller on the roster. He has a built in big match with Royal Rumble coming up. Punk vs. Rock will have an amazing buy rate. I explained a little above.

Personally I think giving Punk the win at the Rumble does a lot more for the WWE than having Rock win. First it establishes Punk as the man. Second it extends a title reign that will be hard to build again. One year plus makes it so that people will want to see if tonight is the night he drops the strap. Third, it allows for a matchup at WrestleMania that will be a true draw: Undertaker vs. CM Punk for the WWE Championship – Streak vs. Streak.

When Mania rolls around the Undertaker has built in buzz. His streak is something of legend. Another big streak is the days that CM Punk has been champion. A matchup that features the immovable object vs. the unstoppable force is always a draw. In this case it is streak vs. streak. If they meet, then one has to end. Will the Undertaker go 20-1, or will CM Punk have his nearly 18 month title reign ended? You’ll have to pay to find out!

Not only are the two names by themselves big draws. Not only are they going to put together an amazing match. They have the mystery about their finish that adds to the fire. Nobody truly knows who is going to win, and in today’s era of dirt sheets that is a rare commodity. It’s the kind of perfect storm that sets WrestleMania sales records.

The CM Punk vs. Undertaker WrestleMania match is something I have thought hard about. I actually have a creative writing mock-up of the feud. I will be putting that out in the next few days. Check back for the details on that. If I was booking it I would do something that no fan was expecting.

These five matches are the loose skeleton that the WWE can use to build their WrestleMania. There is a solid opener, and four top notch main events. The closing match is a draw that pulls from a variety of angles. This sets the table for the rest of the year, and allows for the WWE to begin pushing toward this end result. As I said earlier, they’ll have a destination and now they can map out the path. Just never forget, it’s all about Wrestlemania.

Monday Night RAW: I'm A Paul Heyman Guy

I want to start off by wishing Jerry “The King” Lawler a speedy recovery from his heart attack. I still remember when I was 19 and I got the call that my dad had been rushed to the hospital for an emergency quadruple bypass.  It’s a long road to full recovery, but if anyone can win this fight it is the king.

Also I want to recognize all those who lost their lives, or their loved ones, on this day eleven years ago when a group of religious zealots acted like cowards by flying two planes into the towers, another into the pentagon, and brave Americans made sure a fourth never made it to its destination. I woke up that morning late for class at college. I rushed to get there without knowing what had happened. I got to class and I was the only person there. This was before smart phones and Facebook. I waited for a half hour for people to show up but nobody did. So I walked out of class and noticed nobody was on campus. I poked my head into the lounge and saw a large group crowded around the TV. That’s when I learned about the attacks.

I later that day got a job delivering pizzas. I dropped out of college, and got back into pro wrestling. I decided that college could wait because I had a dream to be a wrestler, and 9/11 proved to me that at any moment your time to live your dreams can be taken away. I spent five years chasing my dream, making tons of great memories, and then I went back to college to achieve new dreams. To me 9/11 will always be the day my eyes got opened to the reality that the time we have on this planet is shrinking by the moment.

Now on to the lighter side of life: Monday Night RAW. Normally I would break down all the different parts of RAW but really this was the CM Punk show. There was some stuff that quickly developed a few undercard matches for Night of Champions this Sunday, but really this PPV is a one match show.

I am a fan of Daniel Bryan and Kane being a tag team. I like that they are doing the reluctant partners storyline. I have a feeling they become tag champions this Sunday. For a division that has been left to drift, this could be a blessing. I also like them using the choke slam/cannonball as a finisher. Imagine when they come together as team and Bryan runs in asking to be choke slammed. The crowd will pop. Hell, imagine a top rope choke slam bomb by Kane & Bryan. It will be awesome.

Then there was the stupid Sheamus/ADR storyline. Why is a kick banned? It’s a kick. They have dropped the ball on this one. Also the two GMs are stupid. I hope the rumors that they are both getting fired is true. They need to get that whole situation fixed, and quick. Finally Cody looks to be facing Miz for the IC title. Talk about tossing something together quick.

Yeah there is more that happened on RAW but none of it really mattered. It was place holder stuff. Hell I think CM Punk took up almost 40% of RAW last night. He was the opening promo, he was the whole 9 o’clock hour, and he was the show closing promo. Let’s break all of that down.

The opening promo was good. Punk has gone full blown egomaniac. I like that he talks about how if he was the champ back in 97 that he would have sunk the WWE and jumped ship to WCW. Too bad the attitude era wasn’t started in Montreal. Most would say it began when WCW had the NWO and it forced the WWE to go away from campy character wrestling.  So Punk would have just been another part of that need to go extreme. He should just ask Paul Heyman about why ECW was brought in for a few RAWs. Overall the opening segment was good, and did what it needed to set the table for the end of the show.

The 9 o’clock hour was a decent match between Punk and Orton, then an angle tag match between Orton/Lawler & Ziggler/Punk. I love how they are handling the Punk and Heyman “alliance”. Nobody knows why they are together. All we know is that Punk is a Heyman guy. We also know that Brock hates Cena because he lost to him a few months back.

Finally it seems that Punk is going to be champ going into the Royal Rumble. There is a Survivor Series PPV between now and then. Imagine an old school Survivor Series match with Punk & Brock on one team and Cena & Rock on the other; then maybe toss in 6 others talents. I suggest HHH, HBK, and Undertaker on team Cena. The other three for Punk & Brock can be other “Heyman” guys.

Ziggs lost to Orton. Again. Hopefully this means on PPV that Ziggs will finally pick up a win against the Viper. If not then I have no clue what creative is thinking. Their MITB winner shouldn’t be jobbing out to the guy who might not be there next month.

The last part of the show was about trying to get Cena over as the face with the help of Bret Hart. John Cena gave one hell of promo to Punk. The two have a great chemistry in every aspect. By the end the Montreal crowd was very pro Cena. It was a really strong finish to the show and probably sold a lot of people who were on the fence about this PPV.

I also like having Bret Hart punch out CM Punk. Cena makes the original save to pop the crowd, and then Hart is on the defense to block the second attempt. It’s one shot from one of the greatest in the world, and Punk peppers out of the ring. It is the perfect way to handle it because Hart shouldn’t be able to hang with the champ, but a good shot to the jaw works at being believable.

This Sunday will be interesting. Traditionally on these middle of the road PPVs, the guy standing tall on the last RAW is the guy losing the match. By that math it would be CM Punk who slithers out after Sunday night. I think there will be more Heyman interaction. I also think the Boston crowd will be a great crowd for this match. It may be the most pro-Cena crowd the WWE has.

Monday Night RAW hasn’t been knocking it out of the park. Last week was a place holder besides the very end segment. This week it was all about Punk. Once this PPV is over, and we move on to Hell in a Cell, I would believe things should pick up to compete with Monday Night Football. If the WWE waits until their build for Survivor Series, then it could be too late. Then again next Monday is coming together as a can’t miss show because something big is brewing for this Sunday. When it comes to good RAWs, I find it’s the mystery that sells the best. That is why I’m a Paul Heyman guy.  

RAW Preview

It's Monday! That means three hours of wrestling. Ok I guess maybe an hour of recaps and videos plus two hours of wrestling. Well maybe an hour of wrestling with recaps, videos, and promos. 30 minutes of wrestling? I hope so.

It's HBK day on RAW tonight, but it might be all off camera for the live Texas crowd. If that happens then it is a blown opportunity by the WWE. I don't care if you can only get HBK in front of a camera to shill his merch, it is always a ratings boost. My fingers are crossed that he gets involved in the Brock Lesnar & HHH feud.

Speaking of the terminator, Brock is going to be in the house. That should mean some kind of live action this week instead of 5 recaps from RAW 1000. Probably only 3 recaps this week. Then again if he appears live this week that will mean 5 recaps next week. Pretty soon this kind of build is going to make me DVR RAW just so I can fast forward through this and watch the commercials. Then again that might be the plan.

I feel like I am going crazy like Daniel Bryan. He continues verbally sparring with AJ Lee, and AJ keeps crushing Bryan with her endless supply of massive monsters. Kane is an anger management therapist, and Charlie Sheen is his buddy. Daniel point on the booking sheet where creative touched you.

Albert Del Rio will continue to tell us he won't wrestle, and then he will wrestle. Makes me believe him when he says he is going to win the World title. Here's an idea ADR, don't wrestle! Do some heelish things like roll out of the ring when bell tolls, and walk out instead of wrestling, or don't come out when your music plays. Maybe even stage a sit in in your nice car in the parking lot. How about having RR get you DQ'd as the bell rings by hitting your opponent with a chair and then the two of you destroy that person. All of these avoid wrestling a match, get you over as a heel, and help you keep your word until Summer Slam. Come on man!

Randy Orton, the viper with a hash pipe, is back! He'll demolish somebody else tonight. I am guessing it is Jack Swagger. He hasn't taken an RKO in months. Must be good for backstage morale that a guy can get strike two and comes back with a bigger push than half the talent that toes the line. If I was an undercard wrestler I would try to give Orton some weed brownies at the catering table.

Finally it is CM Punk feuding with AJ Lee as John Cena continues his feud with Big Show by both facing the champ at Summer Slam in a triple threat match. That is some world class weaving of storylines. I actually like it, especially if it keeps the strap off Cena for a few months. I am still holding out for a Punk vs. Rock match at Royal Rumble. AJ Lee establishing herself against Bryan and Punk might be a good thing down the line, but right now it is a bumpy start. I hope tonight, take 2 of AJ the GM goes better.

Check back tomorrow for a review of tonight's show. I'll be checking it out on DVR, but will try to tweet my live thoughts. That is if I'm not tossing my phone against the wall during the 4th HHH/Brock recap promo.

To keep you calm check out this video prepping for the upcoming CM Punk DVD: