Monday Night RAW: Broken Finish

(courtesy of WWE.com)

Last night was the most enjoyable of the new three hour format. It might be because I am getting used to it being three hours. It could also be that they had more wrestling on the show. Then the end of the show happened, and it came off as a teen drama like Dawson’s Creek or One Tree Hill. Maybe that is because AJ Lee skipping to the ring looks more like a cast member for Pretty Little Liars than the GM of a WWE brand.

I’m a fan of mixing things up. They usually start with a twenty minute promo, but instead they have Show vs. Punk. This was a good match to showcase how much of a threat that Big Show is. He manhandled the WWE champion. Since this was all an angle with Daniel Bryan coming to get involved to set up the tag match later, it was a good use of talent. Show got jobbed out by RKO last week, so Punk does him a favor by taking a whipping this week.

When AJ skipped to the ring among the four was the first time I really noticed how out of place she looks. She doesn’t act serious and comes off like an airhead. As pointed out by Shane Helms on his twitter, it is the reason she wasn’t at the contract signing later in the show, because her action/look sticks out like a sore thumb among the brutes. Turning her into a GM instead of a Vickie Guerrero or Eve, who fit the role better, might have a negative impact on her run in the WWE.

JTG talked trash on twitter. The WWE creative team either told him to do it to get over on the dirt sheets, or they are using it afterwards to deal with the collateral damage. Either way JTG gets to taste the stiffness that is Ryback. His new entrance music is horrible. I hate “Feed Me More”. What a dumb catch phrase. Now we get to wait until somebody answers “Feed Me More” with a knuckle sandwich. Get it. He squashes JTG and people now know to watch their ass on twitter as Cole has a social media orgasm.

The Prime Time Players are already better without AW. It sucks he is out of a job, but even a pro stand up like Daniel Tosh will tell you that rape jokes are tough to pull off. Now AW is going to be a stand up. Can’t wait for that. It’s been my career for five years now. Should be fun to see him realize you can’t just ramble on stage.

Just attacking R-Truth, and doing their best Billy and Chuck impersonation after, did more for the Prime time Players than months of AW talking during their matches. I look forward to seeing where they go from here. The R-Truth match was just to set this up, so Slater is not even an enhancement talent now, he’s a placeholder talent.

Tensai vs. Sin Cara & the Divas match weren’t anything special. I checked on the NFL preseason game during these. Tensai needs to break from his worshipper and get with Vickie Guerrero. In fact having him, the Prime Time Players, and one more talent would be a nice stable for Vickie. Plus then Ziggler could break free for a solo run, or he could be the one and let those guys be his muscle/stooges.

Rowdy Roddy Piper is hit or miss, never in between. Unfortunately last night was a miss. He was trying to get Jericho over with the crowd as a good guy. He ranted about stuff while also trying to get over his Mickey Rourke match from years back. Also his homophobic pink shirt comment didn’t do much as now everybody wears Pink shirts. Just as Pauly D or Robbie E. This segment was a train wreck that went too long, but did lead into a great match.

Ziggler vs. Jericho vs. Miz was an entertaining three way dance. They all worked their butts off and I liked that Ziggler was kept out of most of the match. They told a good story with Jericho trying to show he can win the big one. Miz can really sell. In the end having Ziggler steal the win from Jericho as Vickie distracted the ref was simply amazing stuff. Jericho took out Miz with the walls. Then Ziggler hits his finisher on Y2J. It puts both young guys over, and plays up the “Jericho can’t cut the mustard” storyline. Good stuff, and their match at Summer Slam should be a classic. Especially with it being Jericho’s last match of 2012.

Another great storyline match was the tag between Punk/Cena & Bryan/Show. They really put over the tension between Cena and Punk. They also showed how over Bryan is with his “No” gimmick. That crowd was losing their minds taunting him. I am sure Daniel Bryan goes to the bathroom and shits gold. He protects Show by taking the beating, and the Summer Slam match for the WWE title is set. I hope Bryan beats Kane as he is the glue holding this company together this summer.

Another great moment is the build of Damien Sandow. Christian is now relegated to the cheered face that always gets beat. The announcers talk about his title runs only to prove how good the guy he loses to is. Again I state, was being TNA champion that bad? Funky Brodus comes to the ring and everybody thinks Sandow is going to lose, but swerve is on us. He picks up the duke and for a third straight week rubs it in Clay’s face. Their match at Summer Slam should be good, and Sandow is becoming a money drawing heel because people will pay to watch him get beat up.

I didn’t touch the whole HBK, Lesnar, and HHH angle yet because it was broken. Parts of it I liked, Parts of it I didn’t, and Parts of it were straight from the CW. HBK is scared of Lesnar. His facials are great. He is really helping sell that this man is a monster. This I liked.

HHH isn’t there because he flew commercial. The big wig of a billion dollar company that owns jets with their logo on it didn’t fly on one? Come on man. Why not just say he is stuck in traffic? Why not have him show up only to be called away on business? Anything but a commercial flight is late. This isn’t JTG on the phone, it’s HHH. This I didn’t like.

Paul Heyman was a salesman. He made sure people knew this was going to be brutal. The crowd wasn’t into it because they were in hour 3. So he tosses in a Texans being cowards line and gets them riled up. He is an old pro at this. It brings out HBK and the two together have done more to sell this match than anything Brock & HHH have done together. I really liked this.

Then after it all ended HHH came down to save his little buddy. That’s right the hall of famer, showstopper, and man who took on Taker in a Hell in a Cell, needed HHH to come down to watch his back. One Lesnar = One DX. It makes HBK look weak like he can’t fight his own fights. I get he is retired, but is anyone coming down to stand up for Mick Foley, Stone Cold, or the Rock if they are in a ring with one man? Probably not. This I didn’t like.

Here is where the teen drama kicks in. Heyman sets up HBK by blocking his car with his car. Lesnar comes and drags HBK out of his car. The cameraman gets knocked down and we lose visual but not audio. They have a nasty sound brawl. Then commercial.

We come back from commercial and nobody knows where Lesnar or HBK is. You mean everyone missed a nearly 300 pound man carrying a broken down 240 pound man to the ring with a fat manager yelling behind him? Then HBK gets roughed up by Brock as HHH comes to the ring. Heyman tries to control his man, but oops, he breaks HBKs arm. Then HHH does the stupidest thing yet and challenges Brock to fight him in a ring where his buddy is being attended to by EMTs for a broken arm. Are you gonna fight on top of him? Genius!

It was overbooked drama that made the show feel like it was clunky at the end. The end should have been the contract signing, but we waited around, and everyone knew it was so HBK could get brutalized. Maybe do the contract signing at 10PM, then do the WWE title tag match, and end the show with Lesnar beating the crap out of HBK in the back. Hell, even have him break HBKs arm in the back and then jump in a car driven by Heyman as HHH chases after on foot. It would have flowed together, and it wouldn’t have insulted the WWE title picture by having them go on mid-show.

This show was good. Some of it made me want to see Summer Slam. Jericho vs. Ziggler will be good. I’m even looking forward to the tag match and the Clay/Sandow match. Bryan looks to be hitting a great stride. The WWE title match is intriguing because I really don’t know who is walking out champ between Cena and Punk. It should be Punk, but it seems that his character might be headed towards dropping the title and going full blown dark side.

The Summer Slam main event between HHH and Brock has lost some steam. It will probably be entertaining, but in the end it still hasn’t connected with me. This is more of a match built on name value than storyline value.

When it’s all said and done Summer Slam will fall on how well these two tell a story in the ring, which will rely on Heyman & HBK playing heavy roles.  I’m still betting on a Stephanie smack to Heyman & that HBK will do the whole struggling with tossing in the towel angle much like Rocky did in Rocky 4 when Drago was murdering Apollo. If it goes like that then does that mean HBK vs. Brock at Survivor Series to avenge his friend and get back his reputation after Lesnar made him piss himself on RAW? I leave you with that to think about.

RAW Preview

It's Monday! That means three hours of wrestling. Ok I guess maybe an hour of recaps and videos plus two hours of wrestling. Well maybe an hour of wrestling with recaps, videos, and promos. 30 minutes of wrestling? I hope so.

It's HBK day on RAW tonight, but it might be all off camera for the live Texas crowd. If that happens then it is a blown opportunity by the WWE. I don't care if you can only get HBK in front of a camera to shill his merch, it is always a ratings boost. My fingers are crossed that he gets involved in the Brock Lesnar & HHH feud.

Speaking of the terminator, Brock is going to be in the house. That should mean some kind of live action this week instead of 5 recaps from RAW 1000. Probably only 3 recaps this week. Then again if he appears live this week that will mean 5 recaps next week. Pretty soon this kind of build is going to make me DVR RAW just so I can fast forward through this and watch the commercials. Then again that might be the plan.

I feel like I am going crazy like Daniel Bryan. He continues verbally sparring with AJ Lee, and AJ keeps crushing Bryan with her endless supply of massive monsters. Kane is an anger management therapist, and Charlie Sheen is his buddy. Daniel point on the booking sheet where creative touched you.

Albert Del Rio will continue to tell us he won't wrestle, and then he will wrestle. Makes me believe him when he says he is going to win the World title. Here's an idea ADR, don't wrestle! Do some heelish things like roll out of the ring when bell tolls, and walk out instead of wrestling, or don't come out when your music plays. Maybe even stage a sit in in your nice car in the parking lot. How about having RR get you DQ'd as the bell rings by hitting your opponent with a chair and then the two of you destroy that person. All of these avoid wrestling a match, get you over as a heel, and help you keep your word until Summer Slam. Come on man!

Randy Orton, the viper with a hash pipe, is back! He'll demolish somebody else tonight. I am guessing it is Jack Swagger. He hasn't taken an RKO in months. Must be good for backstage morale that a guy can get strike two and comes back with a bigger push than half the talent that toes the line. If I was an undercard wrestler I would try to give Orton some weed brownies at the catering table.

Finally it is CM Punk feuding with AJ Lee as John Cena continues his feud with Big Show by both facing the champ at Summer Slam in a triple threat match. That is some world class weaving of storylines. I actually like it, especially if it keeps the strap off Cena for a few months. I am still holding out for a Punk vs. Rock match at Royal Rumble. AJ Lee establishing herself against Bryan and Punk might be a good thing down the line, but right now it is a bumpy start. I hope tonight, take 2 of AJ the GM goes better.

Check back tomorrow for a review of tonight's show. I'll be checking it out on DVR, but will try to tweet my live thoughts. That is if I'm not tossing my phone against the wall during the 4th HHH/Brock recap promo.

To keep you calm check out this video prepping for the upcoming CM Punk DVD:

The WWE GM Problem

This Friday on Smackdown the new GM for the show will be announced by Vince McMahon. If you haven’t read a spoiler then I would stop reading this blog until Saturday morning. If you’re still reading then you know that it will be Booker T that becomes the Smackdown GM. Along with AJ Lee, the two make up the on screen upper management in the WWE. They are the people that stand between the unseen, and all powerful, WWE Board of Directors and the WWE Universe with the WWE talent caught in the crossfire.

The two replace Johnny Ace, who lost his GM powers a few weeks back. Ace was one in a long line of short lived GMs or Commissioners in the WWE. From the popular Mick Foley to the unpopular Vickie Guerrero, and the loathed Anonymous GM, the role of show boss has always been a mixed bag of tricks that gets the bums rush when creative gets bored. How many successful businesses do you know that switch bosses two or three times a year? The answer is none.

Be it hated or loved, the WWE Universe rarely has time to latch on to a GM. Just when we get comfortable with a personality they are removed in favor of the flavor of the month. AJ came out of nowhere and so now she is the RAW GM. That’ll probably be over before X-mas when Vince gets tired of her, and then who is next? The same can be said of Booker T, who could barely cut it as an announcer.

Recently the WWE has been doing something shocking. They have been planning ahead. They took a year to build up to The Rock vs. Cena. They have used a whole summer to build up to HHH vs. Brock. Now they are using the rest of the year to build toward the Rock challenging for the WWE championship. They need to start doing the same with their GMs. They need to plan for the long term, instead of who is hot right now.

This interchange of GMs every few months may be a quick way to produce some excitement for the audience, but well thought out storylines that utilize the GM can have an even bigger effect that is long lasting as part of the mythos of the GM’s character. Much in the same way that years later Stone Cold Steve Austin is known for not tapping out to Bret Hart, which led to adding depth to his character. This can happen for a GM that has long term interactions with the talent on screen instead of always being flushed away at the first sign of going stale. If going stale got you fired then Steve Austin would be doing the Ring Master gimmick on the indies right now.

When I look at Booker T, I see somebody that the WWE fans already know. He hasn’t changed much in years. He has the same corny lines and the spinaroonie. When those two things run their course by the end of the year, he will be out as GM. Then we’ll have to go through another for a few months until that one is run out of town.

AJ looks to be going down the same path. Only a few weeks ago she was one of the most interesting characters because she was different. She was going crazy. She wasn’t acting like a cookie cutter diva. Now in her first week as GM she shows up in a pant suit, and acts more like a contestant on the Apprentice than the off her rocker Queen of crazy that fans fell in love with. It would seem the only change her character has gone through was from unique to same old same old.

Until the WWE figures out a long term plan for one of their main roles, the overall product will suffer. The GM role is vital because it plays on so many platforms. It helps establish the show to the audience and explain parts to the viewers that a vignette or a match couldn’t. A GM gives a feud direction by being the outside force that can dictate matches, stipulations, and play the neutral ground (or in heel GM cases, not so neutral ground). The GM also can help creative explain certain jumps in logic like why one person is now doing something, why a talent is not on a show, or why a certain match is set up. These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the roles that a GM plays on the show.

With the two new GMs in place hopefully planning long term will become a staple for both AJ and Booker. Hopefully their characters will grow and change into something more than the usual GM that becomes stale and then becomes replaced. When the WWE establishes a GM with tenure then the audience can establish the emotions to either love or hate that character not because of what they are doing, but because of what they have done.

That kind of love or hate runs deep and is more effective at drawing in the fans than the hotshotting of a character, which may give instant success, but never lasting effects. Keeping fans for decades should be the purpose of storylines, because they’ll produce future fans. Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair get pops twenty years after their prime because their characters became loved and hated at a visceral level.

The turnstile hiring and firing of GMs won’t even run skin deep with fans, who will brush them off like dust on a shoulder. This seems to be a lesson that WWE creative has yet to learn with all their characters, but mostly their GMs. Then again if learning from past mistakes was a WWE strong suit then we wouldn’t have seen Mae Young’s son last week. That’s a whole different kind of hate from the past.

Monday Night RAW: Wrestling, Recaps, and Idiots

Last night’s episode of RAW wasn’t bad, it was just long. It felt even longer because of all the recaps that kept on getting replayed throughout the show. Hey guess what WWE, most of your fans are watching the whole three hours and last week, so they don’t need 45 minutes of their time wasted by recaps. How about putting on more wrestling, new characters, or developing your Summer Slam main event? That means creative was my first idiot of the night.

My second idiot of the night was AJ Lee. She’s now the GM and has gone heelish vanilla. What I mean by that is she lost her personality now that she has power and acts like somebody who is just being fed lines instead of being a unique character. The heelish part is that she seems to be doing half of her actions out of vengeance. She is acting like a scorned girl version of Johnny Ace. Is it because she’s a chick that it makes her a face?  She screws over Daniel Bryan and then she screws over CM Punk; yet does little else during the show. For her first show as GM I give AJ an incomplete because that’s what her performance felt like.

The third, and biggest, idiot of the night was AW. I said a few weeks back that having a live mic on this guy was going to be a bad idea. He doesn’t seem to do well thinking on his feet. He showed I was right last night when he used a Kobe Bryant rape joke. Not even popular comedian Daniel Tosh can pull off a rape joke, so why does AW think he has a chance of doing it? The only good that comes from this might be that AW gets removed from TV. He is new enough that if he was pulled from TV fans wouldn’t even know. Hell by Summer Slam they would probably forget who he even was.

The Prime Time Players have a lot of promise as a tag team. It would seem that they are headed toward a tag title run. Cut the dead weight that is their manager before his lack of talent brings them crashing down. If the WWE thinks they need a manager so bad then why not give them to Vickie Guerrero? She is a heat magnet, she knows how to handle herself, and two young party boys play into her cougar gimmick. It’s not rocket science, its wrestling.

One thing about going three hours that was great was the extended length of the main matches. The Albery Del Rio match was great. He has really hit his stride as of late. I know Sheamus is being booked as this monster World champion, but ADR could do so much more with the strap around his waist. Having Sheamus, Rey Mysterio, and Dolph Ziggler coming at him from all angles is months of ticket selling storylines. I hope at Summer Slam that is what is in store for my new favorite Smackdown heel. Plus doing the arm breaker on the Cobra was a great little move.

Daniel Bryan is the man. He made Sheamus look like a million bucks in that street fight. They had some cool moments, and the flying knee off the stage made me pop. I knew Sheamus was going to win because he doesn’t put anybody over clean as of late, but Bryan made me doubt myself a couple of times.

The segments with the doctor and Bryan were good. The first one was ok, but the Charlie Sheen one had me laughing. The goat face segment was original, and I like the creativity in it. Bryan has really developed his personality. The end with Kane attacking him was good. They should have a decent match up with Sheen somehow involved at Summer Slam. It also makes sense since Kane is one of AJ’s exes. He still pines for her a bit, and so he’ll beat up Bryan for her. It adds another quality match to the PPV, which is a good thing.

The tag match was great. Give me Jericho, Christian, Ziggler, and Miz in the ring any day of the week. They told a great story. Each had their own interactions with their respective feud. They had some cool spots, and the end was what it should have been with Jericho getting the advantage over the Miz. The aftermath with Ziggler smashing Jericho was spot on too. This build to their feud has been well crafted, and adds yet another good match to the PPV.

The middle matches like Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai, Orton vs. Slater, and O’Neil vs. Kingston were nothing special. Orton debuting was cool, but that’s all it was. Tensai just doesn’t do it for me. He gives tons of effort and seems like a guy who really puts in his all. It just isn’t my cup of tea. I think Kidd could be valuable, but not in this feud. These three matches were more filler to me than anything else.

The new direction of CM Punk has begun. He’s now feeling disrespected because he’s the WWE Champion and he should be the main attraction. I like it, but the WWE better be careful of burning him out. He appeared a lot last night in non-wrestling roles. He was opening the show, and closing it, with a promo segment in the middle with Cena. Too much of a good thing can make the audience go sour on him.

Also why didn’t he wrestling Jerry Lawler last night? He had issues with Lawler. The creative team wants to turn Punk heel. Everybody loves the King. It’s a no brainer, plus Punk can protect Lawler in the ring. They started out like they were going to have a match, but instead they got into war of words on commentary. Unless this has a payoff next week of Punk vs. Lawler, then it is a lot of wasted energy when more focus should be on Punk’s true opponents, Big Show and John Cena.

Speaking of Superman and Doomsday, they had a sloppy match. It wasn’t a bad match but there were moments where things didn’t click. Like when Show goes to toss Cena off during a pin attempt and Cena stands up then flings himself to the ropes. It just looks bad.

The end of the match with Cena being missile tossed into Punk was cool. The whole laid out until the 9 count only to gain the strength to dead sprint to the ring in less than a second looks stupid. I hate that spot because why doesn’t Cena have the energy to move after that? It insults our intelligence.

The very end after Punk laid out Show and Cena felt very flat. Again this comes from AJ, who gives little to the moment by announcing the Summer Slam match. Punk is screaming at her and she acts like nothing is going on. Give me some emotion in the face of his anger. What about putting Punk in a match next week? Like against Jerry Lawler. It’s something they could have promoted all week.

Maybe even make it for the title to add some spice. Have AJ say if Punk doesn’t want to be in the triple threat then he won’t be if he loses the title to Lawler next week. It is a small story arc that plays off what happened most of the show plus gives the WWE something to promote for a week. Maybe even have the match lead off the show. Again it’s not rocket science, its wrestling.

Overall the show was good. I liked the longer wrestling matches. I even liked some of the segments with Daniel Bryan, and the promo with Punk & Cena. It also had a lot of downfalls. I hope next week that there is no AW and a whole lot less recaps. It wouldn’t hurt to have somebody from the Summer Slam main event on the show. Three weeks from the PPV, yet HHH, Brock, and Heyman are nowhere to be seen. If that kind of booking continues then the same could be said about viewers.

The Royal Rumble Conundrum

RAW 1000 is in the books. Everyone has had a few days to let the events that unfolded soak in. There were some cool moments that won’t do much going forward like the DX reunion or the Brothers of Destruction reunion. There were some immediate impacts like Brock Lesnar accepting HHH’s challenge for Summer Slam and AJ Lee being named the new RAW GM, which starts next week. Then there was a big bomb dropped that the first PPV of 2013 will be The Rock challenging whoever is holding the thirty pounds of gold known as the WWE title at the Royal Rumble.

This revelation got a lot of people excited as it looks that the WWE will be building to a CM Punk vs. Rock title match at one of the WWE’s premiere pay per views. Those of us eagerly awaiting this match up got to wet our appetites with an amazing ending to RAW 1000 when Punk attacked Rock leaving him laid out in the middle of the ring as the show closed. Now for the next few months the build will begin, and it will be epic. Yet there is one important question that I keep asking myself:

Will CM Punk vs. The Rock for the WWE title push the Royal Rumble from the main event slot?

As long as I can remember the Rumble has always closed the show, but this is The Rock challenging for the belt against what will be one of the longest reigning champions in WWE history. It has to be the main event. What if Rock loses? What if Rock wins? These are both big moments that will almost be impossible to follow. These moments are finales, not lead ins.

The same can be said for the Royal Rumble itself. It is the name of the show after all. It traditionally crowns the challenger for the WWE title at the WrestleMania. In this case the person who will face possibly The Rock for the title at WrestleMania. That’s another huge moment. That is a definite show closing event.

A case can be made for both, but I still believe the actual Rumble has to close the show. To bump it for a part time talent, even one as big as The Rock, would dwarf its importance. Plus knowing who the champ is going into the Rumble adds excitement, especially if that champ is The Rock.

Just imagine at the end of the PPV if Cena and The Undertaker are in the ring and The Rock is the champ. How hyped will that crowd be as Cena and Taker battle for a shot at the biggest WrestleMania main event in the past decade? Cena fans would want their hero to get a shot at redemption for last year’s Mania. And what would be bigger than Rock putting the title on the line against the Undertaker’s streak? Either would be a HUGE draw for an event that is always stacked. I’m getting goose bumps thinking about it.

If any match can follow CM Punk vs. The Rock, it is the Royal Rumble. The way the match is built is perfect to follow such a big time title match. The rumble is long with a variety of twists and turns. The rumble can take the first twenty minutes to let fans catch their breath and reset before kicking into high gear. The multiple entrances and mystery of each entrant adds suspense to keep a crowd locked in, something a normal match would struggle with following Punk/Rock.

This is why when January rolls around it should be the WWE title match kicking off the 9PM hour and the Rumble closing the show. This layout creates the perfect two hour rollercoaster of a huge high followed by a low, and finished with an even bigger high. It should make this year’s Royal Rumble one of the best pure wrestling events in recent memory because the 8PM hour will still have a good World title match, and some kind of placeholder match like a six Diva tag. All in all it should be a great ride, which is all you can ask for in a PPV.

The rumors have it that Punk will drop the title to The Rock, and then Rock will face Cena at Mania. That’s the rumors, and those rumors have to survive six more months. A lot can change between now and then, but one thing that shouldn’t change is the Royal Rumble lineup. It should be the WWE title match leading into the Rumble, and not the other way around. It just makes more sense. Then again this is the WWE, and making sense has never been at the top of the priority list.

Monday Night RAW: More Means Less

A friend of mine lives his life by this motto, “Low expectations leads to higher returns”. That is how I should have gone into the 1000^th episode of WWE Monday Night RAW. I couldn’t help myself because in my brain this was a can’t miss show. It was stacked with talent new and old. There were already hyped segments in a WrestleMania size Main Event, the reunion of DX, and Brock Lesnar answering HHH. As far as big nights go, this had all the ingredients and more. Then I looked at my watch at 8:51 and noticed there had been about 8 minutes of wrestling. That’s when I knew this was going to be more of a talk show than a wrestling show. That’s when my expectations came crashing down to earth.

The show wasn’t horrible; it was a walk down memory lane. Now looking back at the show I can see this is exactly what episode 1000 should be. The older talent isn’t going to light things up in the ring, and this wasn’t the show to highlight the new guys. It was like going to a Huey Lewis concert where you want to hear the old stuff so you can sing along. The new stuff is just back burner material. Add in some storylines being advanced, and it wasn’t a horrible show for what is was. It just wasn’t the WrestleMania caliber event that most of us had hoped for.

Kicking it off with Vince McMahon was the right choice. This is his baby, and he should be the one to welcome us all to his major milestone. I liked that he kept it short and sweet.

DX is a fun time, but being a fan who watched every moment from 1997 on, I can see how watered down they have become. Seeing Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, and X-Pac was cool. Besides being there, only Road Dogg really added to show. They did their shtick and looked to be having fun, which always makes a segment more enjoyable for the viewers.

If Damian Sandow is supposed to be a smart guy, he sure does some stupid stuff. I liked him the first time when he was Lanny Poffo calling himself, The Genius. He walks into a ring with the five originators of WWE rule bending faces, and doesn’t expect to have his teeth kicked in. He’s lucky he didn’t eat a fame-asser, a pump handle slam, and an X-factor for his stupidity. Somebody was going to get screwed with but a small part of me wishes it was Sgt. Slaughter or Michael Cole for old times’ sake. Also a Rick Rude reference wouldn’t have killed anyone either. He was a DX original, and he wasn’t bat shit crazy like Chyna.

Last week I called 5 of the six men who would be in the World title six man tag. The WWE has a script they follow when place holding a title that doesn’t have a defined challenger. The six man tag is that. I can’t stand having Ziggler and Jericho on the same team, but I guess having him be on team Sheamus wouldn’t make sense either if he isn’t fully a face. He did get screwed by Ziggs, so that made some sense. I’m thinking Sheamus vs. ADR vs. Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam with Ziggler and Jericho going at it, so Y2J can make Ziggler before he goes back on tour.

Having Jim Ross come out to call the six man was cool because he is the best announcer in the RAW era. Wasting him in the 8 o’clock hour was a mistake. He should have been saved to add more importance to the main event. Especially with all the storytelling that happened between Punk and Cena. Congrats on the payday JR, but shame on the WWE for not doing the right thing, and having him stay there all night. Calling the main event was the bare minimum they could have done, and the WWE screwed that up.

I’ll get into Charlie Sheen later. Also the product placement through the night reminds me we aren’t in Kansas anymore. They need to make money somehow. I guess trying hard with compelling storylines and larger than life stars to get ratings back to attitude era heights so you can charge more for ad buys is out of the question. Instead we get a sonic waitress that has more camera time than Trish Stratus. There was also Mae Young’s son. Creative can remember that, but they can’t remember that the Big Show shouldn’t have a job because of a board of director’s order to fire talent who interfere in a match between Cena and Johnny Ace. Good job guys.

Brodus Clay and Dude Love have a dance segment. Yes there was match in between, but does it really count. I like Dude Love. His theme song, just like Brodus’ song, makes me smile. I don’t think Swagger needed to be abused like this. He is a former World champion. A former champion who took two moves before starring up at the lights. Even Barry Horowitz could take more than that.

Slick was a great surprise to lead the wedding. He’s an old pro and showed it in his role. The wedding was just a bait and switch. AJ is the new GM, and Daniel Bryan gets screwed. Actually I think we all got screwed on this one. I love the AJ character. I just don’t love it as the all-powerful GM. Johnny Ace got fired for being incompetent, but the solution was to give all that power to a nut job with zero experience. Why not just elect a fan to be the GM of the week? Then they can tout it.

It looked like Daniel Bryan was going to be moving up in the world with The Rock and CM Punk. They had a great duel on the mic. I am geeked for Punk vs. Rock at the Royal Rumble. When he named that PPV, I knew it was Punk because it will take place right after Punk passes the one year mark as champion. Then Bryan got Rock Bottomed, which is symbolic of his situation as he went from being in the WWE title picture & marrying AJ to fighting Charlie Sheen at Summer Slam.

I’m never one to root for a celebrity to be in a ring with a wrestler. In reality Sheen should last 20 seconds before Bryan stretches him into a pretzel. Then again it’s great for publicity. Sheen always draws media attention, and Bryan is best suited for protecting Sheen in the ring to make him not look like a total fool. I hope Daniel gets something out of this once Summer Slam is said and done.

If the IC title changes hands and nobody cares, does it count? Last night Miz beat Christian and the reaction by the crowd told the story. He filmed a crappy straight to DVD movie and was rewarded with the IC title. Santino hosts a bad internet show on WWE.com and he’s the US champ. I’m starting to see the qualifications to be a champion in the WWE. Hopefully with Miz as champ the IC title can get a boost because of Miz’s ability in and out of the ring. Then again somebody might make Chaperone 2, and they’ll get the title.

Paul Heyman is great in his role as Brock’s slime ball spokesman. He and HHH have had some great back and forth exchanges. When Stephanie came out I noticed she left her boobs in the attitude era. She looks good still though. Having her jump Heyman was great too, but I would have loved to see Brock get her cornered. The fight between HHH and Lesnar was fun, but I still have trouble believing Lesnar can’t just rip through HHH. He tore Cena a new ass on PPV, yet he can’t manhandle a semi-retired COO of WWE? It’s a thin ice. I’m still sold on seeing this match at Summer Slam. It’s gonna be brutal in a good way.

The Heath Slater angle comes to an end and the big payoff is … LITA? Another example of expectations being too high. It’s great to see Lita as she is a true pioneer of women’s wrestling in the modern era. She looked great in the ring. The addition of the APA was a cool sight, and the old legends coming out got the crowd going. Lita’s moonsault is still better than most. Ron Simmons gets in a DAMN, and we all go home happy.

At this point I knew Stone Cold Steve Austin wasn’t coming out for the night. It just can’t be a real celebration of RAW without him. I get that he had another commitment with Grown Ups 2, but the WWE could pull some strings. Maybe offer up some free advertising in exchange for getting him for the night. He’s bigger than Hogan when it comes to RAW, and he needed to be on this show. This was a BIG drop the ball moment.

Watching Undertaker’s entrance might be the coolest thing in wrestling. His whole character is a once and a life time thing. There won’t be another like him. The New Age Job Squad got laid out by the Brothers of Destruction. I get that Taker can’t wrestle as much as he used to, but what about a run with his brother as tag champs. He could work a reduced schedule, and it would make the tag belts mean something again. Plus Kane can take all the heat in the matches, and Taker can handle the comebacks. It would be something nice to bridge him over until WrestleMania time.

The Main Event didn’t get going until 10:59, what the fuck!?! This is a top tier match, and you don’t get it going until there is a few minutes left on a three hour show. Even in the seven minutes they wrestled, CM Punk and John Cena put on a good match. It never got into high gear, because it never had the time. I look forward to seeing them lock up at Summer Slam without time constraints.

The whole CM Punk turn began when Cena tossed him into the ref. He got hit with the AA, and he was beat. His title run should have ended. It was that moment of reality that hit Punk. He sold his fight with his decision to pick the bones perfectly. Cena gets him again with the STFU, and Punk knows his title is slipping away. That’s when Big Show comes in again, and Punk slithers to the corner. That’s when he goes dark side.

The title is more important to CM Punk than doing the right thing. Cena had him beat twice, and he knows it. He walks away from Show killing Cena, because now he is concerned with only staying champion. This was a perfect twist that will set Punk up for his eventual meeting at the Royal Rumble with The Rock, who came down to save Cena.

The crowd popped huge for The Rock as he flew down the ramp and passed CM Punk. Everyone thought it was going to be a few Rock moves to send everyone home happy. Then Punk lays out The Rock, and the Royal Rumble gets sold out & buy rates jump through the roof. We’ve seen Cena vs. Rock, now we get Rock vs. Punk, which should be a better overall match up.

Punk can play the heel better than most, and he can do it by justifying his actions. If you’re the champ then why not let Big Show beat up Cena. Punk never made Cena smack Show in the head last week with the brief case. He’s only reaping what he sowed. He’ll also be able to talk with the Rock, who better be on his toes because Punk will pipe bomb him back to Hollywood.

So for the next few months Punk will lay the ground work for Royal Rumble as he cements his dynasty as one of the greatest WWE champions in the history of the WWE. He’ll get booed out of every building in the country, and the WWE will smile all the way to the bank. Also at the Royal Rumble, it’s going to be a big toss up on who wins because Punk going over on the Rock could set him up to be a Stone Cold type star. Who coincidently is waiting in the wings for a matchup at WrestleMania. Cha-Ching!

The WWE made some bad decision last night, but like any offering, it’s the end that really influences the final verdict. The WWE gave us a great twist ending that will have people tuning in. Cena is kind of aligned with Rock. Daniel Bryan kind of hates the Rock. The Rock really hates Punk. What about Cena & Rock vs. Bryan & Punk at Survivor Series? It’ll take some work, but it’s a possibility.

It’s these kinds of possibilities that make last night’s show more than the stinker it probably came off as to the average fan. If you’re looking at only last night’s show then it was below average, but if you’re looking at the next few months, it’s better than average. After last night, I’ll take that … for now.

The Original Wedding

We're only a day away from WWE Monday Night RAW's 1000th episode. The Rock is going to show up. DX is going to kick it off. CM Punk is going to face John Cena for the WWE title. Plus Brock Lesnar will answer HHH. With all of this going on there is also the wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee.

There have been MANY weddings in professional wrestling. HHH to Stephanie in a drive thru. Stephanie to Test, kinda. Even Billy to Chuck. Yet none will ever top the original, because it had the true emotion of something special that drew the fans in. Of course I am talking about when Macho Man Randy Savage got on one knee and asked Miss Elizabeth this:

Then at SummerSlam '91 the two tied the knot in a ceremony that was exactly as advertised, a wedding. No run ins, no crazy moments, just two people that the crowd had spent years falling in love with getting hitched, and becoming part of pro wrestling history. The opposite will happen on Monday night.

When Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee are in the ring it will be a wedding a week in the making. The emotional ties to the whole situation by the crowd will be minimal. Plus it probably will look more like a GWAR concert than an actual wedding.

Like most things in life, pro wrestling weddings, as my Grand Pa would say, "Ain't made like they used to be". Here's a look at the original wedding for those who want to take a trip down memory lane to see how it should be done:



Monday Night Raw: Next Week Will Be Great

Nothing in the world feels better than walking in your door at the end of a long travel weekend. Every once and awhile things go sideways when you’re traveling. This was one of those weekends. It was great to go to the wedding & hang with some of my favorite people. The three hour drive into the woods, not so much. The 5 hour flight there and the 5 hours back, even worse. Then Travelocity screwing up the tickets so that my wife had to be on a separate flight that got delayed at her connection, horrible. Realizing my wife had the ticket for our car to get out of parking, icing on the cake. Luckily I got to watch Monday Night Raw when it all was said and done.

Last night was leaps and bounds better from the absolute abomination that the WWE presented last week. There was tons of great moments during the show, and you can tell the WWE is prepping for next week’s 1000^th episode to be as big as Wrestlemania. Now don’t get me wrong, this show was far from perfect. It had its bumps, but it was a good show to lead into the big three hour mega show next week, which is exactly what show 999 should be.

The start of the show with Big Show & CM Punk was fun, but nothing ground breaking. It was a good example to indie promoters on how to build a main event on a show. They traded remarks and popped the crowd. Then Show reminds Punk that only one man matters in the WWE, and it isn’t either of them. The tease of Cena coming down to pick the bones after Show knocks Punk’s teeth out was enough to add interest to the main event, especially with their bout being non-title & the feeling that the WWE would put the belt on Superman going into show 1000. Only one flaw in that logic, and I’ll touch on that later.

The tag team division seems to be booked by the WWE interns. It changes from week to week. The Prime Time Players are the #1 contenders, but haven’t won a match since No Way Out. They are a good team. I like their in-ring abilities and they have good chemistry. Yet, they haven’t been presented to the audience as a team to be feared. They lost on PPV the night before to Epico & Primo, who haven’t had a serious match on RAW in months. Then there is AW.

AW is a horrible manager. He can barely talk and they give him a live mic during the matches. Maybe it is because I used to do a similar gimmick as a sports agent who wears all black & talks about owning his own promotions business, but he is not pulling this off. Having him talk over the PA system during the match is distracting & he says nothing of value. He also insults his team while Kofi & Truth are getting their shine. I would rework his character ASAP & take the mic away from him. Also get the PTPs a few wins over some lower tier tag teams to build them up to the audience. If they do a title switch anytime soon, it won’t matter one bit.

Albert Del Rio continues to be a guy that is really catching fire. He and Ryder had a good match to keep building his character. He is ruthless as a heel. Even when Ryder was getting in shots, it never lasted long enough to become anything of note. This was a great way to build a character without destroying Ryder in the process. ADR is becoming primed to be the guy to take the title off Sheamus. It makes a lot of sense. The final push will be with Rey Mysterio.

The WWE production team jumped the gun on Mysterio coming back by cutting to the far camera too early, but who cares. When Rey popped out to save Ryder, the night finally kicked into high gear & the build for RAW 1000 was on. Even in small doses Mysterio is fun to watch. I have a feeling this will be his last run with the company. Starting off with Del Rio will benefit both men before ADR goes for the title, and Mysterio moves into his role as upper card fan favorite.

It was nice to see Rikishi. My wife jokes that my butt is a Rikishi butt. It’s called bumpers butt honey, Mick Foley has one too. Heath Slater is getting close to the big pay off with his legends world tour. The video seems to be showing where his character will go after this, as a delusional heel that distorts the facts. I like it. Who doesn’t hate the guy who thinks he is better than he is? Having Rikishi dance with his sons at the end was great, and I wouldn’t mind seeing him come back to manage his boys. Then again, I bet the contract situation and his money demands are the reason his big butt hasn’t been in the WWE in years.

Now Daniel Bryan is a baby face, it only took a week to happen. This whole Bryan & AJ storyline is a perfect example of a hotshot angle. Why not draw this out? Why not have Bryan try to prove himself to AJ? Why not take a few weeks, or god forbid months, to build to the payoff? Instead he proposes, she accepts, and we have a wedding next week. You want to know why the crowd reacted the way they did, because they didn’t have time to learn to care.

AJ and Bryan could be the next Macho & Liz, but not if you’re trying to do months of storylines in a week. I’m already putting dibs on Miz screwing things up next week. Did you see the look between him & AJ during the match? Yeah, 50/50 says he and Bryan at Summerslam with AJ involved somehow.

Poor Jack Swagger can’t catch a break. He now is the next victim on the Ryback pain train. I am not a fan of the both men getting in the ring, but the match not starting, so it gets tossed out angle. I get that it builds to adding heat to their rematch next week on episode 1000, but maybe have Swagger jump Ryback on the outside before the match instead of having them wrestle a mini-match in the ring. Also why didn’t the ref try to separate them to get the match started? Isn’t that his job? Ryback continues his build. Anyone else thinking he won’t lose until Wrestlemania, when he faces the Undertaker in a streak vs. streak match? Oh guess what a streak DVD is coming out, Shocker! If the WWE gives Ryback the first win over Taker at WM, then he is the next Cena. I would have him with the Royal Rumble, and cash it in for a shot at the Undertaker. Title shots come and go, but ending the streak is once in a lifetime. That’s the way to sell it.

For weeks I have said Dolph Ziggler is the man. Chris Jericho is also the man. Together they are amazing. Without speaking a word Jericho did more to help Ziggler than the WWE creative team has done for the past few months. His facial reaction to Ziggler's comments, and his ability to switch to a good guy on a dime, makes Jericho a valuable asset. Vickie Guerrero is being wasted with these two. They don’t need her to help build this up. You know who does need her? Tensai. They teased it last week, and need to get on that ASAP. Zigs & Vickie need to drift apart so Ziggler can ascend to the main event where he belongs, and Chris Jericho will be the one to get him there.

Speaking of drifting, Brodus Clay is just floating around in WWE limbo. He comes out to dance, he wrestles the same match, and then he dances with the kids. JTG was simply the “Insert Wrestler Here” on this week’s booking sheet. It’s a shame as Clay can really wrestle. I hope they get him a program soon, because as Rikishi will tell you, dancing doesn’t keep you employed forever. Good storylines and feuds do. In fact they could have saved this match for Smackdown or WWE Superstars, and gave the main event the time instead.

When a bunch of different things have the same result you say it is because of a common denominator. It is the only connector between a variety of factors. CM Punk is the WWE common denominator. He just has good matches. He wrestles Kane, and the big red machine looks like a star again. He wrestles Daniel Bryan, and the two have the best matches in the WWE since Bret Hart wrestled Shawn Michaels. Now he wrestles the Big Show, and they blow the roof off. He might be the best all-around wrestler in the WWE since Shawn Michaels was forming DX. He truly is the best in the world.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more Big Show and CM Punk matches. Show is one of the smartest guys in the business, and when given an opponent who can work with his limitations, great things happen. Andre had Hogan, and Show has Punk. The end of the match played into the story for the evening that Show would do the dirty work then Cena would do what all MITB winners do, and cash in for the title.

That works, except that it doesn’t play into the Cena character. As much as people hate Cena, he does stick true to his Superman persona in all facets. Superman would never kick a man while he was down. Superman would never take the easy way out. Superman stands for truth, justice, and the American way. Having Cena come out & let Punk know at RAW 1000 they will lock horns almost a year after Punk took the title off him in Chicago is what Superman would do. It makes sense with the characters involved, and as noted above Punk has good matches with anyone, especially John Cena.

This was a great way to end RAW. These are the two big guns in the WWE right now, and last year they had amazing matches. Add in the return of DX, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and a rushed wedding to RAW 1000, and you have one hell of a show. I would say next week should be better than this year’s Wrestlemania. If you’re not geeked for three hours next week, then I don’t know what will get you excited.

I also like the very end of the show where Cena lays out the Big Show. This leaves the door open for Show to screw over Cena, extending their feud & helping keep the title on Punk. Punk having the belt looks to be building to a title match between The Rock & Punk that will be a BIG BIG ticket match. How big would Summerslam or Survivor Series be with that match on the card? Plus if Punk beats the Rock, it plants the seeds for Stone Cold Steve Austin to face Punk at Wrestlemania as the man who can do what the Rock couldn’t. Yeah, I’m an optimist. That’s why I truly believe, against my better judgment, that next week will be great … until Superman wins the title, then I’ll pray for Doomsday.

Monday Night Raw: AJ To The Rescue

(Courtesy of WWE)

The worst part about getting your hopes up is that it hurts more when you’re let down. That was the case with Monday Night Raw, the holiday edition. Last week’s RAW was so good that it had me eagerly awaiting last night’s episode. It has been a long time since I have watched the clock on my cable box waiting for 9 o’clock to swing around. I even watched the last five minutes of NCIS because I didn’t want to miss a moment. Then I was reminded it was a holiday edition of RAW, which traditionally means the company coasts into next week.

That being said the episode wasn’t horrible. It just didn’t seem like a win, but more like a tie. There were some cool moments, but there were a lot of head smack moments. Also there seemed to be a rib by the writers because they were using a lot of cliché indie gimmicks during the show. Then AJ Lee showed up. I’ll get into that later.

It started off with the predictable 20 minutes of talk with John Cena blabbering about motivation. One time I want him to get pissed he got his ass kicked. You look like a moron when you’re talking about how you are now motivated. A chance to win a WWE title match contract wasn’t doing it for him but getting to feel the Big Show’s pimp hand gets Cena’s juices flowing. This is why his character grates on me.

Then Daniel Bryan comes & Yes’s all over the crowd. Who by the way was a bright spot for the show, because the crowd’s energy really helped me make it through the 130 minutes of RAW. CM Punk & Jericho follow to help build heat for the main event. Then Kane comes to remind people he’ll be one of the guys not winning at Money In The Bank. Finally Big Show comes out to motivate John Cena some more. It was a lot shoved into one segment with the purpose of keeping the two big matches for the PPV on the front burner. The hodgepodge tag team match really has become a crutch for WWE creative.

Another crutch is these multi-team 8 man tag matches. The match itself was ok, but AW is a gimmick stealer. Larry Sweeney did the sports agent gimmick way better than AW could dream of. Alexander Cain was even better, and he was a no talent indie hack. Being able to hear AW’s instructions through the arena distracted from what was going on in the ring. Sometimes a good manager is better when not heard or seen. AW seems to be outshining his own team.

In the end AW takes his Prime Time Players and leaves. Cody Rhodes shortly follows. Then Brodus Clay comes out to help four guys beat one David Otunga. Did I miss something, but when does the US Champ, The IC Champ, and the Tag Champs need a fifth guy to beat David Otunga? Good thing it wasn’t Ryback, or they might have needed five more. They are five faces and they gang up on one guy left in the lurch by his teammates. It looks like the anti-bullying campaign is really working in the WWE locker room.

The five on one beat down by the good guys had me so heated that I almost didn’t appreciate Albert Del Rio. He was good before, but he has really turned it up. He has the look and he is great in the ring. The crowd was way into hating ADR and they loved Sin Cara. This made the beat down by ADR come off as a true heel being villainous, not to be confused with four face champs & a dancing funkasaurus running a beat down train on David Otunga. It’s just logic.

Earlier I mentioned that it seemed like the writers were trying to pull a rib on the audience by doing all the cliché indie gimmicks. The first was the bait and switch of Brock Lesnar. Unless I missed something I am pretty sure that they were promoting an appearance by Brock. In fact I think it was in the teaser leading up to the start of the show. Even my wife said, “Oh good Brock is back”. Instead we get Paul Heyman from WWE headquarters. Not to complain because Heyman’s promo was great, but he isn’t Brock Lesnar as promised. Now we get to wait three weeks for Brock to show up. This is no different than when the local indie promotes a WWE star will be showing up and then claims “travel issues” once the show starts. It’s shady, and the WWE should be above the guy running a flea market in Indiana.

The second was the fake Doink the clown. For those that didn’t know that was the Brooklyn Brawler doing the Doink gimmick. This is something that goes on in almost every indie from east coast to west coast. They’ll promote former WWE superstar Doink and then have some local wrestler do the gimmick. Why not just have the Brooklyn Brawler come out and lose to Slater? It wasn’t like the audience remembered who Doink was. The old WWF fans would have enjoyed seeing the original jobber.

Adding to the cliché indie moment was DDP strolling out to give an RKO, I mean Diamond Cutter, to Slater before going back up the ramp. It probably took him longer to cash his check for the night. I assume he does about the same amount of work during his indie appearances like most legends who physically can’t compete anymore, i.e. The Iron “My Leg Looks F*cked Up” Sheik.

Side Note: How Awesome is “No Holds Barred”? It is still one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies of all time. Rip em!

I am glad Tyson Kidd is getting a push. He has tons of talent. He looks to be moving into a feud with Tensai. I’m sorry but the former Prince Albert doesn’t do it for me. His methodic style looks too rigid for my taste. His beat down backstage was good and I hope I am wrong about Albert 2.0. Sabu once told he likes working big guys because it lets you do more because they post really well and they can take more punishment. Hopefully the same holds true for Kidd as he works with Tensai on Smackdown.

Now onto AJ Lee who is amazing. Her character, actions, and whole persona have made her one of the best things in the WWE right now. She stands out from the Divas, and it seems like she can actually wrestle because that shining wizard was one of the better ones. I don’t get why she was in a mixed tag with Sheamus, but I guess her loose tie to Vickie Guerrero from last week and Vickie’s tie to Ziggler, who is kinda feuding with Sheamus, completes the six degrees of separation.

AJ’s backstage stuff was gold. Eating the rose from Bryan. Getting miffed that Punk doesn’t watch her match. Her crazy eyes segment with Eve. All three did a lot to add to her character and her match at the PPV. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are going to tear the house down, but right now nobody knows how that match is going to go because AJ is a real wild card.  It makes you want to order Money In The Bank, which is something a Diva hasn’t done for the WWE in years. Bravo AJ Lee!

The Main Event was a good match. Cena took some great heat from Jericho and Bryan. Before the match when the two had a catch phrase duel, I popped. If Jericho wanted to stay in the WWE, how awesome would a Byran/Jericho tag team be? They could rebuild the whole division by themselves.

In the end Cena and Jericho fight to the back and that leads to one of the coolest closing angle moments in RAW’s history. For weeks AJ has been distracting Kane by skipping to the ring. With Punk and Bryan it doesn’t work because these two are top gun talent. They focus on what goes on between the ropes. AJ then cranks up the crazy by threatening to launch herself from the top rope to a table she set up on the outside. This is enough to get the attention of the two men.

When AJ kissed Punk and then pushed him into Bryan as both men crashed into the table, I knew this was going to be a special moment. The shot of the two men laid out by the pint sized pixie while the crowd chanted along with her was an amazing way to close the show. In short AJ with her segments and this closer probably saved this episode of RAW.

As far as holiday shows go, most of this was true to form coasting. I didn’t even talk Big Show vs. Kane, because it was just plunder for the sake of plunder. The whole Punk-Bryan-AJ feud is carrying the WWE right now and people like John Cena need to either step their game up or get out of the way. For this week its AJ’s crazy world, and we’re just living in it. And that’s not a bad thing.