Monday Night RAW: Hugs and Headlocks

Did you know there is a pay per view this Sunday? If not then the WWE did a good job of telling you. Almost the whole three hours this week had some role in the Elimination Chamber event this weekend. The WWE champion also appeared for a quick cup of coffee, and a shitty story. I feel special.

Maybe it was me, but this week seemed to have more bad acting than usual. Some of the promos, in-ring and backstage, came across as scenes from a soap opera. Even Paul Heyman and CM Punk pulled the over-the-top dramatic act. I think they were trying to make fools of themselves, but it continued through the night.

I guess it all got started when Paul Heyman came to the ring. He was being topical by resigning, as the Pope did earlier in the day, and talked about how the WWE is against him. It was a good promo that told a good story. It might have been drawn out. The end where CM Punk almost begs Paul to stay in his corner was the campiest the duo has been during their run. I couldn’t tell if they were making fun of the situation, or if this was just some class A crap acting. Also did Punk wink during their hug? Is he turning on Heyman? Or did I just see things?

Mark Henry crushes things. There is nothing fake or campy about him. I only wished he would have smashed Khali quicker. It would have saved us from watching Khali try and wrestle. He could have done just a bum rush to start the match, and then do the kill-the-midget spot.  I’m being nitpicky, but more destruction & less Khali are good things. Mark Henry looks fantastic in his return. A great addition to the WWE roster for WrestleMania season.

Vickie and Paul have more bad acting. Vince calls on the phone. He agrees to Heyman’s stipulation that if Rock gets DQ’d or counted out, then he loses the title. I have a feeling that Vince’s voice was faked. It makes no sense that McMahon would give Heyman air to breathe, let alone a stipulation in his favor. Prepare for this to play into Sunday, as in Rock gets DQ’d and then the decision is upheld on Monday. I smell a Rock vs. Punk vs. Cena match at WrestleMania.

Jericho vs. Bryan was a really fun match. While I enjoy Team Hell No, Daniel Bryan is ready to be a top singles star for the WWE. He can have a good match with anyone. He can have amazing matches with the other main event stars. I really hope Bryan and Cena can have a nice feud once Superman in Jorts gets out of the title picture. I think they could do good things for both men’s current status in the company. The elimination chamber match this Sunday is shaping up to be a strong bout.

John Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback toss around 3MB and then cut a promo. Nothing new here. Pretty text book way of pushing the super baby faces, or as I call them “The Just-Us League”, before the pay per view. It should be a hot 6 man tag on Sunday.

Big Show and Alberto Del Rio continue their feud. I have no interest right now. They aren’t doing anything bad, but their segments don’t get me excited. Show is mad that people are laughing at him. ADR is learning how to be a good guy. I like both men, just not in this feud anymore. Hopefully after Sunday they can both go their own way. Del Rio’s match was a glorified squash. Poor Sandow.

Jack Swagger is a crazy right wing nut job now. Uncle Zeb is going to do a lot for Swagger. I bet Ted Nugent and Rush Limbaugh are fans. The former Dutch Mantel is one of the best minds in the business. He has made a lot of the big names people know in this industry. Swagger has always lacked that kind of long term mentor to teach him the little things. He has always been gifted, but now Swagger may have found the key to breaking through. He looks to be building towards a show down with Alberto Del Rio. I hope they hold off until after WrestleMania. That could be a strong summer feud. Look for Swagger to pick up at least one pin in the chamber this weekend.

I have friends who like Wade Barrett. He just doesn’t do much for me. He never did on NXT. He never did as the leader of the Nexus. He doesn’t now as the IC champ. The Bo Dallas program is a good one. Barrett needs a big time feud to push him. He’s another guy who could benefit from a long summer program with somebody like Daniel Bryan or Chris Jericho.

Miz got his receipt from this weekend. The whole match up with Cody Rhodes’ Mustache was a backdrop to continue the Cesaro feud. Antonio, who is one strong gentleman, does an amazing spot with the Miz. He swings him around and smashes his body into the guardrail repeatedly. I enjoyed this, and look forward to their singles match this Sunday.

Now Cesaro and Barrett don’t have matches this Sunday. Normally I would say they would both get matches. In fact I believe Barrett will face Bo Dallas during the internet pre-show, and Cesaro will face Miz during the pay per view. Maybe they can do Barrett & Cesaro vs. Miz & Dallas in a tag match. It would be another way for Dallas to pin Barrett and move their feud along. That would be a good 8-10 min pre-show match.

My crystal ball is working overtime. I called Jack Swagger’s gimmick last week. Now Brodus Clay and Tensai are squashing tag teams. I like them as a team and it looks like they’ll get a couple weeks to build their reputation. Their finisher of a running head butt followed up by a senton splash is a strong finisher. When they get the fluidity of that finisher worked out it will look super cool. Especially for two big men with tons of agility.

The Shield cuts their longest promo. It is nice, but it didn’t have the same energy they have had in the past. It felt like they were just off the mark. The good guys come out and clean house. Brawling into the stands always looks good on camera. The crowd got hyped for this segment. Again this looks be a great match up for Sunday. I’m thinking two pro-good guy segments on RAW means a win for the Shield on the pay per view. I just don’t know who takes the pin in that one. Odds are on Sheamus.

Kane versus Dolph Ziggler was a fine television main event. They both had good reasons for being in the chamber. Kane is starting to get testy with Daniel Bryan. Dolph wants to get his hands on Jericho. Only one man can continue their path. They have a good little match with some shenanigans by AJ and Big E. In the end Dolph learns he is better off on his own than with his traveling psycho circus. Looks like Kane and Bryan are headed to splitsville before Mania. Dang I liked them as a team.

Last week The Rock didn’t even show up. Now we wait until the very end of the show for him to come out. He tries to pretend he had an indy career because he wrestled for a few months in Nashville for 40 dollars. Less than a year later he was on the WWE main event roster. Not exactly a story of struggle. We did however get a story from the Rock.

That was the most boring promo the Rock has cut since his return. He really thought he had gold with that “crackhead” line. Too bad it bombed. It bombed every time he mentioned crackheads. First rule of comedy is when a joke doesn’t fly; you don’t keep trying to make it work. The Rock does little to really help push the main event this Sunday. It again was about The Rock, and his glorified past. You know the one where the cool 15 year old Rock is drinking in bars and driving stolen cars.

Punk comes out with Paul Heyman and they remind people there is another person in the match this Sunday besides Rock & his ego. They puff chests at each other, and then a brawl breaks out. Punks steals the title, as he should, and in a few minutes Punk does more for their match up than the champ has done in two weeks. But Rock did have a Superbowl commercial and 3 movies coming out, so that helps numbers … riiiigggghhhhttttt. 

I have a feeling this stipulation was tagged onto this match because the WWE knows that the Rock won’t lay down, but they can’t keep the title on him. I am calling something screwy this weekend. Maybe Brock attacks Punk to get Rock DQ’d. Maybe Rock gets demolished by Brock and gets counted out. I just can’t stop thinking they are going to uphold the title with this decision and end up with the Rock vs. Punk vs. Cena for WrestleMania. In the end that is a better match than Rock vs. Cena. So I’ll take it.

This is the current card going into the Elimination Chamber PPV:

WWE Title
Rock vs. CM Punk
If Rock gets DQ’d or Counted Out he loses the title

World Title
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

The Shield vs. The Just-Us League

Elimination Chamber
Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton
Winner gets a world title match at WrestleMania

WWE Divas title
Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka

Not Announced: Wade Barrett IC title match up & Antonio Cesaro US title match up

I’ll have another edition of Quazi’s Crystal Ball to give a preview and predictions for this Sunday. Look for that this Friday afternoon. Until then, Elimination Chamber looks like a strong pay per view. One of the best non-major pay per views of the year. Kudos to the WWE on really bringing it this WrestleMania season, minus an hour of programming a couple of weeks ago. I’m still going to therapy for that. I need a hug.

Monday Night RAW: Just Like Pizza, It’s Even Better A Day Later



Normally when this review gets posted a day late it is because I couldn’t stand the latest edition of Monday Night RAW, and needed a cooling off period before writing the words, “Fuck This”, for four pages. This week couldn’t be farther from the truth. Those who read this regularly know that my wife and I recently had our first child. Monday night I got to experience my first nuclear meltdown where nothing seems to calm him. That means I didn’t see RAW until Tuesday.

The little guy is doing great and it seems he had a nasty case of gas. I think my wife had some spicy food and he didn’t handle it well. I know we’ve all had a few bad taco nights. This was his first. Knowing he is my kid, it won’t be his last.

Ghost Chilis? Fuck yeah, let’s do this… oh god.

I REALLY enjoyed this week of RAW. Funny part is, No Rock. Yup, No WWE champion. That right there puts a black mark on the product. No taped interview, just old recaps from last week. This is why he shouldn’t be champ. CM Punk should have retained and they could have Dwayne chase the belt until Mania. Then the next night after the biggest show of the year he retires champ. That means there wouldn’t be an episode of RAW without the WWE champion. Can’t say that now and it has only been 2 weeks of the Rock’s reign. Big time fail, but the WWE did get to plug that their champ had a Super bowl commercial and is in a ton of blockbuster movies. None of which are from WWE films. SMH.

The opening with CM Punk was top notch. I have found when the WWE starts out strong it really helps the overall product. Punk does so much so well, but his mic skills as of late have been out of this world. He stood toe to toe with the best promo man from the attitude era, and now he is must see every time he is talking. The Justin Roberts bit was great. I also like that he is continuing his streak. Maybe he’ll come out with his own belt next week. That’d be cool.

Booker T does what Booker T does. They push the WWE app. It is the digital age and I can’t fault them for it. If Nielson starts to use social media and new media as a factor in ratings then the WWE has really laid a lot of good ground work that will surely pay off. The minute Nielson makes it official, go buy WWE stock. Those first ratings will be stellar.

Cesaro and Ryback have some good chemistry. I was surprised that Antonio got as much offense as he did. He is the US champ, but Ryback has been chewing up workers lately. This match to open things up in the ring was well paced, and told a good story. I wouldn’t mind seeing these two in a lengthy feud. Ryback is really over with the southern crowds. He’s an old school meathead baby face, and the south digs those kinda wrasslers.

They had a lot of recap and video segments after this match. I know the WWE is trying to catch people up, and push their various outlets, but damn that was a lot. Also John Cena puffed his chest. He is going to call the Shield out later. He just can’t take a beating lying down. It happens each time he gets laid out. This promo was the same rinse and repeat as usual from Superman in Jorts.

Jack Swagger is back. He has a beard and he doesn’t waste as much time in the ring. His move is called the Patriot act. I am guessing he will be an idealized dick. He will be that guy who thinks anyone who doesn’t think like him isn’t patriotic. Should do well as a heel with the Hispanic audience. Guess what, a Latino is world champ. See how that works.

Alberto Del Rio was next. He crushed Cody Rhodes. Poor Cody and Poor Cody’s mustache. I really hope he can get a jump start on his career after jobbing out the past two weeks. I guess 3MB was busy. A feud with Goldust would do the trick, and fans want to see that undercard feud. This was all to get ADR on TV to build towards him and Big Show later. Besides the sacrifice of Cody Rhodes, it was all good.

Please dear God give me matches like Daniel Bryan and Rey Mysterio every week. Holy crap was that fun. Anytime Rey works with a person who can do good lucha, he excels. I think he gets excited to work old school since most WWE workers can barely spell Lucha Libre, let alone work in that style. Bryan can work any style in the ring. A big win for the bearded warrior. Do I want more of this next week? YES! YES! YES!

I love me some Mark Henry. He is such a great monster. The way he walks. The moves he does. All the little actions and remarks that he does work together to make a terrific package. Mark Henry has come a long way during his time in the WWE. He is primed to be a top tier heel in the World championship division. If the WWE has really hitched their wagon to Alberto Del Rio, he has a ton of worthy challengers to keep his reign fresh. Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, Randy Orton, Jack Swagger, and Mark Henry. That is a year’s worth of feuds right there.

Sheamus beat Kane. Team Hell No is closer to breaking up. Sheamus stays strong heading into the PPV. It was pretty much a paint-by-the-numbers segment here.

Paul Heyman on MizTV was flawless. If you’re going to be mouth piece or a manager in pro wrestling then watch Heyman’s latest run with the WWE. From his initial introduction with Brock Lesnar to backing CM Punk, and now coming full circle with Brock Lesnar. He truly is one of the best storytellers and characters in the business. It is all the little things that he does. The bit with Vickie Guerrero was picture perfect. It doesn’t get better than that.

Miz is lost. He tries to be smarmy and cocky but it doesn’t work when he isn’t a bad guy. It comes off campy and forced. Some people just can’t be good guys. The Miz is one of them. He does take a good beating though.

Brock Lesnar is big time. He may only wrestle like 4 times a year. As long as they don’t make him champ then I don’t mind that. Every time he walks down the aisle he has that “something awesome is going to happen” feel. Maybe it is the fact that his a multiple time UFC champ, but Brock makes pro wrestling feel legit when he is on camera. That is something that is rare in today’s pro wrestling environment. I am guessing Miz vs Brock in the future as a good PPV undercard match. If so, Elimination Chamber is shaping up to be a must buy pay per view.

Orton and Barrett hook up. I like their matches. They don’t do anything that breaks new ground. Barrett loses for the second week in row. Would have liked to see some Bo Dallas in this match either on commentary or in some role. It would have given Wade something in this match that was designed to push Orton going into the PPV. It could have set up Wade vs. Bo at the PPV for the title, a nice opening 8 minute internet pre-show match for Elimination Chamber.

Bruno Sammartino is in the WWE Hall of Fame. He deserves it. To many, he was the last legit WWE champion before the company went toward the entertainment heavy product of the 80’s and beyond. He made Stan Hansen’s lariat seem like the deadliest weapon in wrestling. This is shaping up to be the best Hall of Fame class in WWE history.

What can you say about CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho? If I can get matches like this and all I have to do is suffer through the WWE pushing their app for two hours, then I’ll make that deal every time. These two are both top ten performers of this modern generation. They can talk. They can wrestle. They can do anything the WWE asks them. It is almost unfair when two talents this skilled at their craft are paired in the ring. It makes the rest of the WWE roster look like minor leaguers. Take away a few recaps and give me 5 more minutes of these two. Hell I wouldn’t mind 3 hours of it.

Big Show and Alberto Del Rio had a good segment. It was better than last week. I like Show and Del Rio is growing on me. I think after Elimination Chamber the two should go their separate ways. This story has run its course. My only question is why anyone didn’t peak their head out of the hotel doors to see what is happening? It might have been a cool little thing to do with some hired extras to add a reality aspect to the segment.

I can’t stand Brad Maddox. He is creepy. He does take a good beating. See a silver lining. It was worth having him in the ring only to hear the line, “Nobody said Justice was free” from Ambrose. The Shield is a top attraction. I also like the touch of having Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback come through the crowd Shield style. The other WWE wrestlers coming from the back was good too because it showed all the enemies the Shield has made.

The big names get the upper hand but the Shield escapes. I like it. I’m looking forward to these two teams meeting in an Elimination Chamber match. It is fresh way to present the match as a War Games style six man tornado tag. New twists are always cool in my book.

This week’s RAW was a quick three hours. It really didn’t have much lag time. After last week’s debacle, I guess my bar wasn’t set very high. It will be interesting to see how they follow up during the go home show next week. Maybe the Rock will actually show up this time. Would be nice to the see and hear from the WWE champ leading up to a pay per view.

Until next time remember that AMC’s The Walking Dead is back this Sunday. As you watch the mid-season premiere think of this little fact: When most humans die, they crap their pants as muscles relax. That means most walkers are cruising around with a giant load in their shorts. That means before you die from a zombie attack the last thing you smell is rotting flesh and crap filled pants. Same goes for when a wrestler has to make out with Mae Young.

Royal Rumble: Good Surprises, Predictable Finishes

 

The road to WrestleMania has begun. The Royal Rumble is in the books, and from the size of my hangover this morning, it was a good showing. I almost went perfect with my predictions. Had I not kept out hope for a Punk win, and gone with the obvious choice of The Rock winning, then I would have batted a thousand. Oh what could have been.

The show itself was a very entertaining watch with some great surprises during the Rumble match. For three hours I had a blast watching with about fifty other wrestling fans at the sports bar near my house. Tons of "Yes!" chants and reactions to everything. That really is the way to watch a wrestling show.

I didn’t see the internet pre-show match. Cesaro won and Miz screwed up a spot. Pretty much how I thought it would go. It truly was one of those matches you didn’t need to see and could put the result in pen. That belt isn’t going anywhere until Cesaro gets a real feud going.

The start of the pay per view with Alberto Del Rio and Bret Hart was great. They really have done a lot in a short time to make Del Rio into a top baby face on Smackdown. The match with Big Show was an enjoyable watch. The crazy choke slam from the floating beam on the stage was sick. Both men worked their asses off and it showed. In the end the finish was campy, but that is usually how they try to protect a beast like Big Show.

Next time somebody gets duct taped in a last man standing match I hope to see them climb the ropes and stand straight up. It would be a cool false finish spot. I would expect for Big Show to be in the elimination chamber and move onto new territory come WrestleMania. As for Del Rio, he might have a longer reign than I expected.

The new WWE tag team division has stepped up their game. Rhodes Scholars and Team Hell No was a fun match. I’m glad I could barely hear the announcers during the match and got to enjoy the action. This was a text book tag match. Nothing special or ground breaking here.

Bryan and Kane work well as a team and I hope the WWE doesn’t rush to break them up. People still enjoy their antics. The post-match vignette with the Rumble numbers was funny in a sophomoric way. Again another example of how great the two are as a duo. I’m still holding out hope for a match between them and the New Age Outlaws. Yeah, probably not.

I was shocked the Rumble went on before the WWE title match. That was when I knew Rock was walking out champ. He has enough pull to push the namesake of the event to the undercard. He isn’t staring at the lights if that is happening.

The 30-man Royal Rumble match was good times had by all. Chris Jericho shocked everyone. I was in the bathroom when he came out and a whole room of guys stopped mid-pee to high five each. That is how cool that surprise was. Golddust showing up to fight his brother was great. He really has gotten a lot of his popularity back. I hope Goldie gets another run with the company. Even the Godfather and his hoes made for a good cheer. It would be cool if in the future the WWE actually does more old school surprises than some of the lower card talent. Nobody really cared that Tensai, Khali, and Zack Ryder were in the Rumble.

With Bo Dallas from NXT lasting as long as he did I had a small feeling he might make it to the end with John Cena. I like that he did get into it with Wade Barrett. It was a good way to debut a talent most didn’t know. The Kofi jumping on Tensai and Bryan jumping onto Kane spots both were great new twists for the match. Again with Bryan and Kane I hope they don’t end their team too soon.

In the end John Cena wins. Nobody was shocked. They teased us with Ryback and Sheamus. Yet it never felt like anything but Cena’s match. I would say this year had less drama than the year that HHH won it. Very predictable.

That set up the epic dream match between The Rock and CM Punk. The promo from The Rock was the best he has done since he has been back. That intensity and the lack of silly catch phrases made it seem finally like this match wasn’t a joke to him. Would have been nice to see this kind of promo two weeks ago.

The match was hyped up too much. It had an extremely high bar to reach in the eyes of the fans. The Rock had some ring rust and Punk did everything in his power to carry him. After the table broke before the Rock Bottom, it felt like both men kicked it into high gear. That last chunk of the match was some excellent wrasslin.

The finish can be debated. It protected Punk and it gave the crowd a little bit of swerve. Vince is about to strip the title from CM Punk and Rock stops him so he can take the belt off him. It was very action hero like. It took the crowd on a roller coaster and that’s not bad.

Man, I can’t help but feel that the WWE is losing money by not building towards a rematch between Punk and Rock instead of Rock and Cena. This match wasn’t epic but it was really good. The mic work has been top notch. It feels like there is more to tell with these two than with Cena and Rock. The yearlong build for Rock and Cena drained all the juice out of that match up. This feud between Rock and Punk feels like it just got started and now it is over.

The safe money is Rock and Cena. There isn’t much creative has to do. This will deliver a good buy rate just with the two names alone. Punk and Rock could have done more but it would have taken work between now and WrestleMania. It’s not my money, and the WWE seems to always go after the easy money. That and I don’t think their creative staff is really the kind of staff that wants to take on a challenge when the easier work is right there in front of them.

Now the WWE begins the build towards WrestleMania. Rock will build towards Cena. Punk will probably get tapped to carry the Undertaker through a match. Ziggler looks to be gearing up for a shot at Alberto Del Rio. It looks to be another strong WrestleMania card.

Myself, and those who dare to dream bigger, will just have to be stuck with notion of what could have been. Still being the longest reigning champion of the modern era is something pretty impressive. Maybe in the end the most important thing was that CM Punk will be the face of the WWE come WrestleMania 30. What’s Steve Austin doing then?

Monday Night RAW: Respect This!

Does the WWE creative team go out drinking after a good PPV and then wake up forgetting they have to write a 3 hour RAW? It seems that way with all the mish mash crap tossed against the wall. They came off a strong showing at Summer Slam and then on Monday night delivered the best episode of Sunday Night HEAT they could come up with. It would seem that after getting people hooked with a good PPV, you would want to follow that up with a blockbuster RAW. If you’re going to take a week off then maybe choosing any night but the next night would be a good idea.

Brock and Paul come out to close the book on their time here in the WWE. Heyman again does a great job on the mic. He made HHH seem like a big deal and that made Brock manhandling him look like an even bigger victory. If you’re learning how to cut promos then Paul Heyman’s promos from this whole run in the WWE are a must watch. He shows how it is done. Only thing that sucks is that now he and Brock are done until Survivor Series or maybe even the Royal Rumble. It is hard to build on a guy with that much of gap between appearances. I mean no person in your main event from Summer Slam is on your current active roster.

The six man is back! You know creative is punting the ball when they pull out the six man tag to do a storyline crossover. The Prime Time Players looked good but they lost on the PPV, and now they lost on RAW. How are they supposed to be a threat to the champs when they are losing more than winning? You can do this with established tag teams, but not one that is still fresh in the minds of the audience. It’s booking 101. I know Rhodes took the pin, but the team lost, and that counts for something.

David Otunga is back and guess what he’s gonna get squashed. Did somebody write that on the napkin at Denny’s after the post Summer Slam bender? Two segments down in one retreaded storyline. Oh and they are really pushing AJ Lee tonight. I guess they are trying to see the burn rate on her character. That’s crazy!

Let’s just put all the squash matches into one paragraph. Ryback kills another jobber tag team, but now Jinder Mahal is getting involved. The whole first hour was an old episode of Velocity. Where’s Funaki? Then later on Otunga gets mauled by Big Show. They used this to build Show’s heat back up after the loss. Wonder where he goes now that Punk and Cena are dancing by themselves? And finally the Divas battle royal, what that wasn’t a squash match? I’m pretty sure that match squashed the ratings. Nothing good can be said about it.

Albert Del Rio is the #1 heel on Smackdown. He is challenging for the World title. He is easily a top tier star. He also joins the list of top guys who job out to Randy “Puff Puff Pass” Orton. I get that Sheamus distracted Del Rio and that led to an RKO, but after getting screwed last night, this just makes his character look weak. This was the first “main event” of the show, and yet it elevates the wrong guy. Sheamus is the heel … oh no he’s just the cheating good guy!

Orton is coming off a suspension, and about to leave to film a movie, maybe the WWE could prove a point and use him to build a few heels. A win over him by ADR, Daniel Bryan, or Ziggler could really catapult those men in the eyes of the audience. Plus it proves a point to the locker room that if you fail your second drug test that you will have to prove your worth when you come back from a sixty day suspension. Again I will state Orton should blaze a fat Cheech & Chong blunt on the way to the ring because he is untouchable in this company.

A bright spot is the Sandow and Brodus Clay feud. It has been handled really well. Sandow is great at getting under the fan’s skin. He takes a good beating from Clay, but he steals a win. When Brodus finally beats Sandow it will pop the crowd. People will pay money to watch Damien Sandow get his teeth kicked in. I look forward to seeing if they let this continue to build up or if they blow it by giving Clay a pin in a tag match. He shouldn’t beat Sandow in any match until after the next PPV. Clay should get close, but always come up short due to some heinous cheating by Sandow. I also popped for the fist full of tights. Old school is cool.

The Shawn Michaels promo was really good. It was just too low on energy. He is trying to sell this “End of HHH” story and the energy on the show was so low already that this almost stopped the show. I personally would have saved this until after Ziggler vs. Jericho so that the audience was pumped up from a good match. It could have had a bigger impact. Still it was a great promo, but again it was wasting time on guys who won’t be in the WWE picture until November at the earliest.

The tag match between the former enemies turned partners was ok. I don’t like the no finish. Ryder could have lost the match for his team and then Kane could have abused him. It would have achieved the same goal, and it would have given Kane a better reason than a slap in the face for losing his mind. Maybe have Bryan beat Ryder then slap Kane. Again same result but it gives a cleaner finish. It’s the little things.

I loved the Ziggler vs. Jericho match. It was sloppy in a few areas, and I am glad Y2J is ok after the botched Frankensteiner spot. These two have a really good chemistry in the ring. Also watching them is like watching a man wrestle a younger version of himself. It’s too bad Jericho has to go tour with Fozzy because this could have been a really good feud over the next few months. The end helped elevate Ziggler, and Y2J’s attack left the door open for a rubber match down the road. WrestleMania? I hope so!

I was hoping CM Punk would name Jerry Lawler as the #1 contender for the WWE title. I’m an old school Andy Kaufman/ Jerry Lawler fan. While the match wouldn’t have been a classic due to Lawler’s age, I believe the two of them could put something special on. It would be funny that back then Kaufman was the guy limited in the ring and Lawler carried him, but now it would be Lawler who is limited and Punk who carries him. In wrestling everything comes full circle.

Cena cut one hell of promo. Normally I would take issue with a guy passing up a title shot, but this plays into the Cena character. He values his integrity more than a title. He preaches to his fans to believe in themselves and he can’t do that if he sells out for a title shot. I really hope this leads to a “respect” match at night of champions where the loser has to shake the winner’s hand, or in this case say that other man is “the best in the world”. If Punk beats Cena in his hometown that could be a great scene with a hyped up crowd. Especially if Punk cheats to win.

The afterwards where Punk pivots back to Lawler was nicely done because he doesn’t waste time on Cena. He wants his respect. Cena won’t give it to him, so Lawler must. This looks to be setting up a match between Lawler and Punk on RAW. I like that a lot. The kick and stare was a good way to end RAW. Would have liked to see AJ come out to address Punk, but I guess she forgot she was GM.

This three hours of RAW dragged a lot. Maybe it was because six hours of wrestling in a 27 hour period is too much. I don’t think that is true if there is good wrestling. I just think when you have a strong show like Summer Slam and then follow it up with a subpar RAW that the weakness becomes more glaring with such a close comparison. Summer Slam was fresh in people’s minds and that meant RAW had to live up to that standard, which it didn’t.

I’m looking forward to next week. There is a lot of talent that has been moved off the WWE roster. Brock, Heyman, HHH, HBK, and Y2J are all gone. Ziggler looks to be moving back to Smackdown as he still is their MITB holder. If he stays on RAW I would hope they use RKO to get him over with the fans. Wade Barrett should fill some of the void, but who does he feud with? Miz?

Here’s to hoping some new talent gets called up as Night of Champions is in a few weeks. We need better tag teams. We need a true challenger for both the IC and US titles. Plus Punk is mini-feuding with Lawler as Cena waits in the wings meaning that match could be a last second announcement. That’s a lot of holes to fill in three weeks. Wasting a week like last night doesn’t do much to help creative fill those holes, it just creates more.

Summer Slam: Breaking New Ground

Summer Slam turned 25 last night with a solid showing by the WWE roster. Every year I look forward to this pay per view as it officially kicks off the WWE “season”. If you look at the WWE like a sport then the time between Summer Slam and WrestleMania is the official season of pro wrestling. I would say from now to Survivor Series is the first half, the second half ending at Royal Rumble, and finally after that until WrestleMania is the playoffs. It’s wrestling season once again.

I was a big fan of what happened last night at Summer Slam. There are some internet writers who bashed the show because they never had high hopes for it in the first place. I found it a very entertaining watch from beginning to end. It might not have had the big shocker moment or a true swerve of the audience, but the wrestling was top notch & the finishes played into a grander plan for the future of the company.

The future for Antonio Cesaro is bright. The former Ring of Honor stand out has been laying low on Smackdown. Last night he jumped into the fray when he captured the United States championship from Santino. This is a good thing for all involved.

Cesaro is a gifted wrestler with size and speed, who can do more in the ring than be just a one trick pony like Santino. Not to mention he loves Starbucks coffee and is very European. Santino is very good at comedy and he has a knack for getting over with the WWE audience. He doesn’t need the title to help him, and there isn’t much he could do to help the title. Getting it off his waist and onto Cesaro makes sense to help expand the roster as Santino can do his shtick and Cesaro can begin rebuilding the US title as a legit championship. Also the rumor that he will turn the title into the European title is great. It should garner lots of heat when he bashes the US championship. Also Aksana isn’t a bad thing to have on TV either.

Ziggler and Jericho did an amazing job kicking off the PPV. They are both gifted wrestlers. Their back and forth through the match had the ending in doubt the whole time. Vickie gets great reactions from the crowd, but I think she is being wasted with Ziggler. He, unlike Brock Lesnar, can do all his talking and all his walking without a mouth piece.

If this was Jericho’s last match of the year, as he goes on tour with Fozzy, then he went out on a high note. As Kofi Kingston said on Twitter, these two tore the house down. I don’t know if I agree with Jericho winning as Ziggler could do more with the win, but maybe this means a rematch. In that case, we’re all winners.

No better person to follow that match than Daniel Bryan. He took the energy of the crowd and kicked it into high gear. With just one word he gets the whole place whipped up into a frenzy. He again made Kane look better than he is. Something I could probably write for every Bryan match. His win came out of nowhere as I, like many, thought he would continue to get buried. Giving him the win does a lot for his character and I expect him to start moving up the card building new baby faces to feed to CM Punk. I just don’t know who those people could or will be.

The aftermath with Kane was good to build a bridge to RAW. Kane continues to be in a revolving cycle with his character as this angry monster that shows signs of good, only to become angry again. Will he begin to feud with AJ? Will he and Bryan end up teaming together against her? Will Kane learn Zen? (Ok maybe that’s a stretch). These are good questions to have unanswered because they create interest in a character that hasn’t been fresh for almost a decade. Thumbs up to Kane for this aftermath, and for tossing Josh Mathews like a rag doll.

Miz and Mysterio had a good back and forth match. It was mostly to get the easy pop of Mysterio in LA and to get Miz some credit as he builds his IC title run. They told a nice story with a couple of good new moves from Miz. Mysterio is still good in all his classic spots. They both worked a good match and it did all it was supposed to do. Nothing special, but nothing idiotic, which is all you can ask from a middle card match. It just kept the flow of the show on a good roll.

Sheamus and Albert Del Rio was fun until the finish. I am a big fan of Del Rio’s ring work and character. He comes off as a big timer. Sheamus is good as the bruiser. I still am not sold on him being a big time talent as I see him as more of a talent who is reliant on his opponent to have a good match like a John Cena. I wouldn’t call his World title run memorable.

The end with the shoe and the foot on the rope where Sheamus does the heel move while ADR complains that he got legit screwed doesn’t sit well with me. Del Rio is the new ultra heel, yet he is the one coming off as the man getting screwed. Sheamus is the good guy who cheats and steals to get over. It worked for Eddie Guerrero, but not for King Kong Ginger. I really hope that was a hiccup in his character and not something the creative team relies on in the future.

The tag title match was ok. Neither team has done much to stand out. The Prime Time Players don’t deserve to be champions with their recent record against other teams. Kofi and Truth are a nice tag team that can help keep the division afloat while other teams become established. All four men played their roles well, but the lack of pop from the crowd during the hot tag to Truth tells you all you need to know about how far this division has fallen. This was the bathroom break, grab a new beer, and get seconds on pizza match.

I loved the CM Punk, John Cena, and Big Show match. Unless you’re blind, this whole angle has been about Cena and Punk. Yet it was Big Show who really got the rub in this match, as he should since he took a tap out and a pin cover. The early parts with Show just mauling both men made the audience know why he was in this match. He’s the biggest bad ass on the roster. Also the tip of the cap by CM Punk to Bret Hart was nice.

All the early Big Show mauling set up the middle of the match where Punk and Cena trade moves to try and take down the big man. The double suplex by Show is always a cool spot. I also enjoyed the multiple knees by Punk then the failed Bulldog into the big flying leg drop by Cena. Even the end sat well with me because it really played into the story that Punk and Cena have been telling for the past few weeks.

When both Punk and Cena slapped on submission holds on the Big Show at the same time it was a great way to change things up a bit. AJ was going to get involved in this match, and this gave the WWE the chance without having to stretch for it. Now some will argue it should have been just Punk and Cena, but AJ is a new GM, the easiest thing to do is restart the match, and it takes less explaining to the audience because all you need to say is “restart the match”.

Then as Punk tosses Cena out of the ring as John laid out Show with his finisher, it all came together in a great way to have Punk keep the title. Also Cena keeps his momentum from not truly losing. Finally it had the two keep their heat between them because one out did the other. Cena calls Punk lucky, and Punk can talk about Cena needing to respect him. Now they will move on to Boston and the next PPV, where even money says Cena walks out champ in his home town. Let’s hope that isn’t the future.

If Cena got beat by Punk in his hometown, it could do a lot for both of their characters. Punk would be made an instant heel by the crowd for downing their hometown kid. Cena would have hit rock bottom, thus starting the build to winning the Royal Rumble and regaining his honor at WrestleMania. Also Punk is the cover boy for WWE ’13 and has a big DVD coming out in October. Him being champ helps push both of those. That and Punk vs. Rock at Royal Rumble can do a lot to help get Rock over and save Cena/Rock 2 for WrestleMania as the cap off to Cena’s return to glory storyline. None of that can happen if Cena is champ before Mania.

The main event was what I thought it would be. They played it up to be more of a fight than a wrestling match. It was brutal and methodical. Brock Lesnar is just a massive human being and moves like Rey Mysterio. He beat the living crap out of HHH. I really enjoyed the flipping the announce table and using it to jump off spot. Also using Brock’s known gut injury issues was a good touch to bring the beast down.

The start was a little slow but it almost had to be after following the WWE title match. When Lesnar got “injured” things began to pick up. Near the end I thought Lesnar was going to do his second straight job. Having him pop up after taking that second Pedigree and slap on the Kimura made him look really strong. Nobody kicks out of the Pedigree, yet Lesnar takes two and still can snap HHH’s arm.

I think the end had to be done the way it was. HHH had to have his arm broke, and Lesnar needed to reestablish his mean streak. I just wonder where he goes from here after beating HHH. Is a match with HBK in the future? Is HHH coming back in a few months for revenge? Is Brock coming after Punk to face Rock at Rumble? Again these are all unanswered questions that have me tuning into RAW to find out.

When Summer Slam was over I felt that I got a very enjoyable show. It didn’t drag on and there wasn’t a truly bad match on the card. The two main events delivered. Sure I could have bitched about the movie preview and the music performance, but that’s what comes with “entertainment” instead of “wrestling”. In the end the WWE set the table for the rest of the pro wrestling season and new ground has been broken that plants the seeds going into the Rumble and WrestleMania, which is the trademark of a good Summer Slam.

Size Doesn't Matter, Sizzle Does!

Kevin Nash once again has opened up the discussion that small wrestlers don't draw money. In an article for Grantland.com, Nash said that at WrestleMania 20 the crowning of Eddie Guerrero & Chris Benoit as champions is what destroyed the business. He claims that when wrestling went away from Monsters to normal sized competitors that the fans went away too.

Many have fired shots back at Big Sexy. Chris Jericho says it was Nash's run as WWE champion in 1995 that was the lowest drawing period in the WWE, and that he merely took a ride on Hall & Hogan's coattails in the NWO. Chavo Guerrero Sr, who knows a little about this sport called wrestling, laid into Nash claiming besides his size that he lacked any wrestling ability. Jim Ross even disagreed with Nash, but wasn't as vocal in his opposition.

The fact is that Kevin Nash is good at creating a buzz. It maybe his greatest talent. He's like that kid on the playground that just knows what buttons to push. He's a big guy, there are a lot of smaller wrestlers in today's environment, and the two guys he talked about aren't around anymore to defend themselves. Put all of it together, and it creates the perfect storm. In short, he hooked em.

Now no matter what side you're on you have gone to Grantland and read the article. You've read the small snipet that is creating all this craziness, but you've also read about his Hollywood projects. You've read about what Kevin Nash is upto now. You've made Kevin Nash a headline story on all the wrestling sites, and he hasn't stepped foot in the ring for one of the big 3 wrestling promotions. He's more talked about right now than Brock Lesnar, HBK, or HHH; the main players in the Summer Slam main event in 11 days. Kevin Nash without trying has out sizzled the WWE and TNA, both going into big pay per views.

Now I disagree with Kevin Nash. I don't believe size matters because even as far back as the 60's midgets have drawn money. What draws money is the bookers or writers being able to create storylines, matches, and moments for talents big & small that keep the fans opening their wallets.

Truly what has killed wrestling, especially in the WWE, is the lost art of true creative minds in the business. The head of creative for the largest promotion got her job because of her last name. The guy leading the writers in TNA is still living off his stroke of luck from the attitude era that he hasn't been able to recreate in nearly 15 years. Finally the brain trust in Ring of Honor continues to run it's promotion like it's the late 80's, which hasn't done much to move the needle.

All in all the talents and fans have evolved, the creative process has devolved. That kind of seperation between the major factors in pro wrestling is what kills business. When the writers and bookers stop believing they are smarter than the talent, start working with them instead of above them, then the money will come back.

The curtain has been pulled back on the mystery of wrestling, but the ability to tell a story hasn't. People still go to broadway even when they know the play isn't reality TV, the same can happen for Pro Wrestling. Bookers just need to stop booking for their own benefit and start doing it for the best interests of the talents and the fans. Stephanie, Russo, and Cornette need to evolve with the business instead of kicking and screaming to keep it the way they like it. Simply put they need to leave their comfort zone.

When the bookers/writers of wrestling take risks then they will break new ground. They will establish new places for the minds of fans and talents to go, which is all both sides are asking for. Fans want fresh storylines that don't look like the same recyled crap they have watched since Flair and Hogan. Talents wants new ways to get their characters over other than the cookie cutter ways that have been the standard since Nash was Oz.

People will say there is no new ground in pro wrestling. They will say that everything has been done. Those are the people who think the world of pro wrestling is flat. I am here to tell you it is round. If we sail our ships to the edge, we won't fall off, we'll just discover new territory. Money can be made with a seven footer or a midget. Money can be made with women or men. Money can be made with anyone. It's up to the creative minds to finally start doing their jobs and finding that money by discovering new ground in Pro Wrestling.

In this business it will never be about size, but about sizzle. The easiest way to get sizzle is to give people something they've never seen before. That will get people talking, which is what Kevin Nash has done. And they're only talking because there is nothing new to take Nash's place.

Monday Night RAW: Wrestling, Recaps, and Idiots

Last night’s episode of RAW wasn’t bad, it was just long. It felt even longer because of all the recaps that kept on getting replayed throughout the show. Hey guess what WWE, most of your fans are watching the whole three hours and last week, so they don’t need 45 minutes of their time wasted by recaps. How about putting on more wrestling, new characters, or developing your Summer Slam main event? That means creative was my first idiot of the night.

My second idiot of the night was AJ Lee. She’s now the GM and has gone heelish vanilla. What I mean by that is she lost her personality now that she has power and acts like somebody who is just being fed lines instead of being a unique character. The heelish part is that she seems to be doing half of her actions out of vengeance. She is acting like a scorned girl version of Johnny Ace. Is it because she’s a chick that it makes her a face?  She screws over Daniel Bryan and then she screws over CM Punk; yet does little else during the show. For her first show as GM I give AJ an incomplete because that’s what her performance felt like.

The third, and biggest, idiot of the night was AW. I said a few weeks back that having a live mic on this guy was going to be a bad idea. He doesn’t seem to do well thinking on his feet. He showed I was right last night when he used a Kobe Bryant rape joke. Not even popular comedian Daniel Tosh can pull off a rape joke, so why does AW think he has a chance of doing it? The only good that comes from this might be that AW gets removed from TV. He is new enough that if he was pulled from TV fans wouldn’t even know. Hell by Summer Slam they would probably forget who he even was.

The Prime Time Players have a lot of promise as a tag team. It would seem that they are headed toward a tag title run. Cut the dead weight that is their manager before his lack of talent brings them crashing down. If the WWE thinks they need a manager so bad then why not give them to Vickie Guerrero? She is a heat magnet, she knows how to handle herself, and two young party boys play into her cougar gimmick. It’s not rocket science, its wrestling.

One thing about going three hours that was great was the extended length of the main matches. The Albery Del Rio match was great. He has really hit his stride as of late. I know Sheamus is being booked as this monster World champion, but ADR could do so much more with the strap around his waist. Having Sheamus, Rey Mysterio, and Dolph Ziggler coming at him from all angles is months of ticket selling storylines. I hope at Summer Slam that is what is in store for my new favorite Smackdown heel. Plus doing the arm breaker on the Cobra was a great little move.

Daniel Bryan is the man. He made Sheamus look like a million bucks in that street fight. They had some cool moments, and the flying knee off the stage made me pop. I knew Sheamus was going to win because he doesn’t put anybody over clean as of late, but Bryan made me doubt myself a couple of times.

The segments with the doctor and Bryan were good. The first one was ok, but the Charlie Sheen one had me laughing. The goat face segment was original, and I like the creativity in it. Bryan has really developed his personality. The end with Kane attacking him was good. They should have a decent match up with Sheen somehow involved at Summer Slam. It also makes sense since Kane is one of AJ’s exes. He still pines for her a bit, and so he’ll beat up Bryan for her. It adds another quality match to the PPV, which is a good thing.

The tag match was great. Give me Jericho, Christian, Ziggler, and Miz in the ring any day of the week. They told a great story. Each had their own interactions with their respective feud. They had some cool spots, and the end was what it should have been with Jericho getting the advantage over the Miz. The aftermath with Ziggler smashing Jericho was spot on too. This build to their feud has been well crafted, and adds yet another good match to the PPV.

The middle matches like Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai, Orton vs. Slater, and O’Neil vs. Kingston were nothing special. Orton debuting was cool, but that’s all it was. Tensai just doesn’t do it for me. He gives tons of effort and seems like a guy who really puts in his all. It just isn’t my cup of tea. I think Kidd could be valuable, but not in this feud. These three matches were more filler to me than anything else.

The new direction of CM Punk has begun. He’s now feeling disrespected because he’s the WWE Champion and he should be the main attraction. I like it, but the WWE better be careful of burning him out. He appeared a lot last night in non-wrestling roles. He was opening the show, and closing it, with a promo segment in the middle with Cena. Too much of a good thing can make the audience go sour on him.

Also why didn’t he wrestling Jerry Lawler last night? He had issues with Lawler. The creative team wants to turn Punk heel. Everybody loves the King. It’s a no brainer, plus Punk can protect Lawler in the ring. They started out like they were going to have a match, but instead they got into war of words on commentary. Unless this has a payoff next week of Punk vs. Lawler, then it is a lot of wasted energy when more focus should be on Punk’s true opponents, Big Show and John Cena.

Speaking of Superman and Doomsday, they had a sloppy match. It wasn’t a bad match but there were moments where things didn’t click. Like when Show goes to toss Cena off during a pin attempt and Cena stands up then flings himself to the ropes. It just looks bad.

The end of the match with Cena being missile tossed into Punk was cool. The whole laid out until the 9 count only to gain the strength to dead sprint to the ring in less than a second looks stupid. I hate that spot because why doesn’t Cena have the energy to move after that? It insults our intelligence.

The very end after Punk laid out Show and Cena felt very flat. Again this comes from AJ, who gives little to the moment by announcing the Summer Slam match. Punk is screaming at her and she acts like nothing is going on. Give me some emotion in the face of his anger. What about putting Punk in a match next week? Like against Jerry Lawler. It’s something they could have promoted all week.

Maybe even make it for the title to add some spice. Have AJ say if Punk doesn’t want to be in the triple threat then he won’t be if he loses the title to Lawler next week. It is a small story arc that plays off what happened most of the show plus gives the WWE something to promote for a week. Maybe even have the match lead off the show. Again it’s not rocket science, its wrestling.

Overall the show was good. I liked the longer wrestling matches. I even liked some of the segments with Daniel Bryan, and the promo with Punk & Cena. It also had a lot of downfalls. I hope next week that there is no AW and a whole lot less recaps. It wouldn’t hurt to have somebody from the Summer Slam main event on the show. Three weeks from the PPV, yet HHH, Brock, and Heyman are nowhere to be seen. If that kind of booking continues then the same could be said about viewers.

Monday Night Raw: Next Week Will Be Great

Nothing in the world feels better than walking in your door at the end of a long travel weekend. Every once and awhile things go sideways when you’re traveling. This was one of those weekends. It was great to go to the wedding & hang with some of my favorite people. The three hour drive into the woods, not so much. The 5 hour flight there and the 5 hours back, even worse. Then Travelocity screwing up the tickets so that my wife had to be on a separate flight that got delayed at her connection, horrible. Realizing my wife had the ticket for our car to get out of parking, icing on the cake. Luckily I got to watch Monday Night Raw when it all was said and done.

Last night was leaps and bounds better from the absolute abomination that the WWE presented last week. There was tons of great moments during the show, and you can tell the WWE is prepping for next week’s 1000^th episode to be as big as Wrestlemania. Now don’t get me wrong, this show was far from perfect. It had its bumps, but it was a good show to lead into the big three hour mega show next week, which is exactly what show 999 should be.

The start of the show with Big Show & CM Punk was fun, but nothing ground breaking. It was a good example to indie promoters on how to build a main event on a show. They traded remarks and popped the crowd. Then Show reminds Punk that only one man matters in the WWE, and it isn’t either of them. The tease of Cena coming down to pick the bones after Show knocks Punk’s teeth out was enough to add interest to the main event, especially with their bout being non-title & the feeling that the WWE would put the belt on Superman going into show 1000. Only one flaw in that logic, and I’ll touch on that later.

The tag team division seems to be booked by the WWE interns. It changes from week to week. The Prime Time Players are the #1 contenders, but haven’t won a match since No Way Out. They are a good team. I like their in-ring abilities and they have good chemistry. Yet, they haven’t been presented to the audience as a team to be feared. They lost on PPV the night before to Epico & Primo, who haven’t had a serious match on RAW in months. Then there is AW.

AW is a horrible manager. He can barely talk and they give him a live mic during the matches. Maybe it is because I used to do a similar gimmick as a sports agent who wears all black & talks about owning his own promotions business, but he is not pulling this off. Having him talk over the PA system during the match is distracting & he says nothing of value. He also insults his team while Kofi & Truth are getting their shine. I would rework his character ASAP & take the mic away from him. Also get the PTPs a few wins over some lower tier tag teams to build them up to the audience. If they do a title switch anytime soon, it won’t matter one bit.

Albert Del Rio continues to be a guy that is really catching fire. He and Ryder had a good match to keep building his character. He is ruthless as a heel. Even when Ryder was getting in shots, it never lasted long enough to become anything of note. This was a great way to build a character without destroying Ryder in the process. ADR is becoming primed to be the guy to take the title off Sheamus. It makes a lot of sense. The final push will be with Rey Mysterio.

The WWE production team jumped the gun on Mysterio coming back by cutting to the far camera too early, but who cares. When Rey popped out to save Ryder, the night finally kicked into high gear & the build for RAW 1000 was on. Even in small doses Mysterio is fun to watch. I have a feeling this will be his last run with the company. Starting off with Del Rio will benefit both men before ADR goes for the title, and Mysterio moves into his role as upper card fan favorite.

It was nice to see Rikishi. My wife jokes that my butt is a Rikishi butt. It’s called bumpers butt honey, Mick Foley has one too. Heath Slater is getting close to the big pay off with his legends world tour. The video seems to be showing where his character will go after this, as a delusional heel that distorts the facts. I like it. Who doesn’t hate the guy who thinks he is better than he is? Having Rikishi dance with his sons at the end was great, and I wouldn’t mind seeing him come back to manage his boys. Then again, I bet the contract situation and his money demands are the reason his big butt hasn’t been in the WWE in years.

Now Daniel Bryan is a baby face, it only took a week to happen. This whole Bryan & AJ storyline is a perfect example of a hotshot angle. Why not draw this out? Why not have Bryan try to prove himself to AJ? Why not take a few weeks, or god forbid months, to build to the payoff? Instead he proposes, she accepts, and we have a wedding next week. You want to know why the crowd reacted the way they did, because they didn’t have time to learn to care.

AJ and Bryan could be the next Macho & Liz, but not if you’re trying to do months of storylines in a week. I’m already putting dibs on Miz screwing things up next week. Did you see the look between him & AJ during the match? Yeah, 50/50 says he and Bryan at Summerslam with AJ involved somehow.

Poor Jack Swagger can’t catch a break. He now is the next victim on the Ryback pain train. I am not a fan of the both men getting in the ring, but the match not starting, so it gets tossed out angle. I get that it builds to adding heat to their rematch next week on episode 1000, but maybe have Swagger jump Ryback on the outside before the match instead of having them wrestle a mini-match in the ring. Also why didn’t the ref try to separate them to get the match started? Isn’t that his job? Ryback continues his build. Anyone else thinking he won’t lose until Wrestlemania, when he faces the Undertaker in a streak vs. streak match? Oh guess what a streak DVD is coming out, Shocker! If the WWE gives Ryback the first win over Taker at WM, then he is the next Cena. I would have him with the Royal Rumble, and cash it in for a shot at the Undertaker. Title shots come and go, but ending the streak is once in a lifetime. That’s the way to sell it.

For weeks I have said Dolph Ziggler is the man. Chris Jericho is also the man. Together they are amazing. Without speaking a word Jericho did more to help Ziggler than the WWE creative team has done for the past few months. His facial reaction to Ziggler's comments, and his ability to switch to a good guy on a dime, makes Jericho a valuable asset. Vickie Guerrero is being wasted with these two. They don’t need her to help build this up. You know who does need her? Tensai. They teased it last week, and need to get on that ASAP. Zigs & Vickie need to drift apart so Ziggler can ascend to the main event where he belongs, and Chris Jericho will be the one to get him there.

Speaking of drifting, Brodus Clay is just floating around in WWE limbo. He comes out to dance, he wrestles the same match, and then he dances with the kids. JTG was simply the “Insert Wrestler Here” on this week’s booking sheet. It’s a shame as Clay can really wrestle. I hope they get him a program soon, because as Rikishi will tell you, dancing doesn’t keep you employed forever. Good storylines and feuds do. In fact they could have saved this match for Smackdown or WWE Superstars, and gave the main event the time instead.

When a bunch of different things have the same result you say it is because of a common denominator. It is the only connector between a variety of factors. CM Punk is the WWE common denominator. He just has good matches. He wrestles Kane, and the big red machine looks like a star again. He wrestles Daniel Bryan, and the two have the best matches in the WWE since Bret Hart wrestled Shawn Michaels. Now he wrestles the Big Show, and they blow the roof off. He might be the best all-around wrestler in the WWE since Shawn Michaels was forming DX. He truly is the best in the world.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more Big Show and CM Punk matches. Show is one of the smartest guys in the business, and when given an opponent who can work with his limitations, great things happen. Andre had Hogan, and Show has Punk. The end of the match played into the story for the evening that Show would do the dirty work then Cena would do what all MITB winners do, and cash in for the title.

That works, except that it doesn’t play into the Cena character. As much as people hate Cena, he does stick true to his Superman persona in all facets. Superman would never kick a man while he was down. Superman would never take the easy way out. Superman stands for truth, justice, and the American way. Having Cena come out & let Punk know at RAW 1000 they will lock horns almost a year after Punk took the title off him in Chicago is what Superman would do. It makes sense with the characters involved, and as noted above Punk has good matches with anyone, especially John Cena.

This was a great way to end RAW. These are the two big guns in the WWE right now, and last year they had amazing matches. Add in the return of DX, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and a rushed wedding to RAW 1000, and you have one hell of a show. I would say next week should be better than this year’s Wrestlemania. If you’re not geeked for three hours next week, then I don’t know what will get you excited.

I also like the very end of the show where Cena lays out the Big Show. This leaves the door open for Show to screw over Cena, extending their feud & helping keep the title on Punk. Punk having the belt looks to be building to a title match between The Rock & Punk that will be a BIG BIG ticket match. How big would Summerslam or Survivor Series be with that match on the card? Plus if Punk beats the Rock, it plants the seeds for Stone Cold Steve Austin to face Punk at Wrestlemania as the man who can do what the Rock couldn’t. Yeah, I’m an optimist. That’s why I truly believe, against my better judgment, that next week will be great … until Superman wins the title, then I’ll pray for Doomsday.

Monday Night RAW: At Least It Wasn’t 3 Hours

I’ve never been waterboarded, but after watching last night’s episode of WWE’s Monday Night Raw I believe I have a round-about understanding of it. From what I gather it makes you believe you’re drowning as you struggle against a water soaked towel that forces liquid down your throat. It is said to be a very traumatic experience. That is what watching RAW was like last night. Every minute I just felt like I was drowning as they shoved a bunch of crap down my throat, and when it was done I knew I had gone through a traumatic experience. In short, people in Gitmo have it better than wrestling fans this week.

Even the CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and AJ storyline that has been so good felt a little off the tracks. The opening was a ten minute segment stretched to 20. The over dramatic pauses and facial expressions from Punk & AJ were almost too much. I found myself yelling at the TV, “Just say it”. I don’t mind the AJ proposal. It fits her crazy chick character. I even liked the Daniel Bryan proposal, because it fits his do anything to become champ character. I didn’t like that CM Punk, Mr. Pipe bombs on the mic, couldn’t tell AJ no for two hours. The man who verbally ripped apart the company a year ago starting the summer of punk gets tongue tied by a wedding proposal from the nut job. It was a good idea for the night, but was poorly executed.

Besides the tag match in the middle of the show, each match was quick. It felt like the old 80’s WWF when you would watch wrestling on Saturday mornings and each match was a star versus a jobber. Unless my memory is faulty I believe Jack Swagger is a former ECW and World champion but now he is a door mat for anyone. For a guy who can bring it in the ring, he really has pissed off the wrong people backstage.

The same goes for Drew McIntyre. He was once Vince McMahon’s golden boy. Then shit hit the fan and he is fodder for the dancing funkasaurus. I knocked Ring of Honor yesterday for looking like a small time carnival act, but when the kids get in the ring to dance with Brodus Clay it looks like an indie moment. I am surprised more fans don’t jump the rail after watching all the kids get in the ring. I guess it sells more T-shirts, or makes kids drag their parents to the events. You know what else does that? Good storylines & great wrestling. I guess taking the easy way is the WWE way.

I get that Heath Slater is living a dream working with all these legends. He is getting tons of TV time each week. People are starting to take notice of his character. He also did just get beat by a man who held the title in the 70’s; that’s four decades ago. He literally got his ass handed to him by his grandpa. Don’t get me wrong. I have tons of respect for Bob Backlund, but was I the only one who saw him coming to the ring in his blue trunks and thought about an old man in his tighty whities screaming for kids to get off his lawn?

Also what does it say about Sin Cara, who just beat Heath Slater, that Grandpa Backlund can beat Slater in twenty seconds, while Sin Cara takes 4-5 minutes. Unless this leads to some kind of resurrection storyline of Slater getting humbled and then building himself back up over a couple of months, then what is the payoff? He is getting noticed, but only as the guy getting beat by people who won’t be back on RAW at any point. Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre have room on their jobber cycle built for three when you’re done Slater.

You know one thing I did enjoy; the new spark between Vickie Guerrero and Tensai. The tag match was just a showcase to remind people there is a second ladder match this weekend at the PPV. It also helped Tensai get his heat back by crushing both Christian & Kidd. After, when Guerrero was staring down Tensai like a new piece of meat, it clicked. Vickie needs Tensai to freshen her up, and Tensai needs Vickie to get him over. How great of a feud will Tensai and Dolph Ziggler be? They both can go in the ring, and it is the perfect storm to turn Dolph face. This must have been the part where they took the drenched towel off my mouth to let me breathe.

It didn’t last long as the unwritten tag team rules got thrown out the window. I get you want Big Show to be a beast and destroy everyone. I get that John Cena is Superman and he will always come out on top. I get you want the tag match to be a no contest. I don’t get how Big Show pulling John Cena off of Jericho is a DQ. When does breaking up a pin attempt ever lead to a DQ? Now whenever it happens in a tag match I’ll wonder, why isn’t that a DQ? Again it’s logic. It might not get under most people’s skin, but come on creative, stop being lazy. Write a decent finish. Hell, just have Show grab a ladder and destroy everyone during the match. It’s sloppy booking, but it’s at least logical.

Speaking of tag team matches, why don’t the Prime Time Players get a tag title shot at the PPV? Why are Hunico and Camacho getting a shot, even if on the pre-show? I guess being #1 contenders isn’t what it used to be. Does nobody care about being champs anymore? Last week Gail Kim used her lawyers to get out of a title match on TNA, and now AW is letting another tag team wrestle for the gold before his clients. Why even have the belts if they mean so little?

The end of the show tag match, damn there were a lot of hodgepodge tag matches. Like I said last week, it has become the WWE creative crutch. This match was all angle driven. I enjoyed the tip of the cap by Punk and Bryan to Sonnen & Silva. The missed spinning back fist followed up by a Bryan knee to Punk’s chest made me pop. The end was a retread of this storyline. She kisses both men last week, she slaps both men this week.

I for one would have rather seen a double kick to the balls. It would have popped the crowd, and the visual of AJ “yessing” standing over both men as they squirm on the mat grabbing their jewels would have been another strong closing visual. This feud is in cruise control going into the PPV, which should be looked at as a good thing, because this week creative was shooting themselves in the foot left & right. Staying course through choppy booking might be a blessing in disguise.

Finally, and I almost blocked this out, was the whole RAW Anonymous General Manager. Not only did we have to be victims of another show of Michael Cole being more character than announcer, but then the payoff was the drizzling shits. Yes it did put closure on a storyline, but was it needed? It was one of the worst stories in WWE history, and just when we forgot about it, we had to relive it. Then on top of that it ends up being Hornswaggle.

There is nothing redeeming about this at all. It wasted time that could have been put toward the matches that got cut short. It could have been another former RAW GM that people wanted to see. It could have been left in the deep dark forgotten realms of the WWE where things like ICP & Katie Vick live. Jerry Lawler should be ashamed he let himself get involved in this crap. Andy Kaufman is spinning in his grave knowing he is six degrees of separation from this abortion.

If this is what we have in store for us when Monday Night RAW goes to 3 hours then God have mercy on us all. I’ll tune in every week because I still believe that good wrestling will return. I’ll crawl through the miles of crap in hopes that a few moments will shine bright. Yet after shows like this, I struggle to not put the towel over my head & drown myself, because RAW isn’t WAR, its torture.

Monday Night Raw: AJ To The Rescue

(Courtesy of WWE)

The worst part about getting your hopes up is that it hurts more when you’re let down. That was the case with Monday Night Raw, the holiday edition. Last week’s RAW was so good that it had me eagerly awaiting last night’s episode. It has been a long time since I have watched the clock on my cable box waiting for 9 o’clock to swing around. I even watched the last five minutes of NCIS because I didn’t want to miss a moment. Then I was reminded it was a holiday edition of RAW, which traditionally means the company coasts into next week.

That being said the episode wasn’t horrible. It just didn’t seem like a win, but more like a tie. There were some cool moments, but there were a lot of head smack moments. Also there seemed to be a rib by the writers because they were using a lot of cliché indie gimmicks during the show. Then AJ Lee showed up. I’ll get into that later.

It started off with the predictable 20 minutes of talk with John Cena blabbering about motivation. One time I want him to get pissed he got his ass kicked. You look like a moron when you’re talking about how you are now motivated. A chance to win a WWE title match contract wasn’t doing it for him but getting to feel the Big Show’s pimp hand gets Cena’s juices flowing. This is why his character grates on me.

Then Daniel Bryan comes & Yes’s all over the crowd. Who by the way was a bright spot for the show, because the crowd’s energy really helped me make it through the 130 minutes of RAW. CM Punk & Jericho follow to help build heat for the main event. Then Kane comes to remind people he’ll be one of the guys not winning at Money In The Bank. Finally Big Show comes out to motivate John Cena some more. It was a lot shoved into one segment with the purpose of keeping the two big matches for the PPV on the front burner. The hodgepodge tag team match really has become a crutch for WWE creative.

Another crutch is these multi-team 8 man tag matches. The match itself was ok, but AW is a gimmick stealer. Larry Sweeney did the sports agent gimmick way better than AW could dream of. Alexander Cain was even better, and he was a no talent indie hack. Being able to hear AW’s instructions through the arena distracted from what was going on in the ring. Sometimes a good manager is better when not heard or seen. AW seems to be outshining his own team.

In the end AW takes his Prime Time Players and leaves. Cody Rhodes shortly follows. Then Brodus Clay comes out to help four guys beat one David Otunga. Did I miss something, but when does the US Champ, The IC Champ, and the Tag Champs need a fifth guy to beat David Otunga? Good thing it wasn’t Ryback, or they might have needed five more. They are five faces and they gang up on one guy left in the lurch by his teammates. It looks like the anti-bullying campaign is really working in the WWE locker room.

The five on one beat down by the good guys had me so heated that I almost didn’t appreciate Albert Del Rio. He was good before, but he has really turned it up. He has the look and he is great in the ring. The crowd was way into hating ADR and they loved Sin Cara. This made the beat down by ADR come off as a true heel being villainous, not to be confused with four face champs & a dancing funkasaurus running a beat down train on David Otunga. It’s just logic.

Earlier I mentioned that it seemed like the writers were trying to pull a rib on the audience by doing all the cliché indie gimmicks. The first was the bait and switch of Brock Lesnar. Unless I missed something I am pretty sure that they were promoting an appearance by Brock. In fact I think it was in the teaser leading up to the start of the show. Even my wife said, “Oh good Brock is back”. Instead we get Paul Heyman from WWE headquarters. Not to complain because Heyman’s promo was great, but he isn’t Brock Lesnar as promised. Now we get to wait three weeks for Brock to show up. This is no different than when the local indie promotes a WWE star will be showing up and then claims “travel issues” once the show starts. It’s shady, and the WWE should be above the guy running a flea market in Indiana.

The second was the fake Doink the clown. For those that didn’t know that was the Brooklyn Brawler doing the Doink gimmick. This is something that goes on in almost every indie from east coast to west coast. They’ll promote former WWE superstar Doink and then have some local wrestler do the gimmick. Why not just have the Brooklyn Brawler come out and lose to Slater? It wasn’t like the audience remembered who Doink was. The old WWF fans would have enjoyed seeing the original jobber.

Adding to the cliché indie moment was DDP strolling out to give an RKO, I mean Diamond Cutter, to Slater before going back up the ramp. It probably took him longer to cash his check for the night. I assume he does about the same amount of work during his indie appearances like most legends who physically can’t compete anymore, i.e. The Iron “My Leg Looks F*cked Up” Sheik.

Side Note: How Awesome is “No Holds Barred”? It is still one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies of all time. Rip em!

I am glad Tyson Kidd is getting a push. He has tons of talent. He looks to be moving into a feud with Tensai. I’m sorry but the former Prince Albert doesn’t do it for me. His methodic style looks too rigid for my taste. His beat down backstage was good and I hope I am wrong about Albert 2.0. Sabu once told he likes working big guys because it lets you do more because they post really well and they can take more punishment. Hopefully the same holds true for Kidd as he works with Tensai on Smackdown.

Now onto AJ Lee who is amazing. Her character, actions, and whole persona have made her one of the best things in the WWE right now. She stands out from the Divas, and it seems like she can actually wrestle because that shining wizard was one of the better ones. I don’t get why she was in a mixed tag with Sheamus, but I guess her loose tie to Vickie Guerrero from last week and Vickie’s tie to Ziggler, who is kinda feuding with Sheamus, completes the six degrees of separation.

AJ’s backstage stuff was gold. Eating the rose from Bryan. Getting miffed that Punk doesn’t watch her match. Her crazy eyes segment with Eve. All three did a lot to add to her character and her match at the PPV. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are going to tear the house down, but right now nobody knows how that match is going to go because AJ is a real wild card.  It makes you want to order Money In The Bank, which is something a Diva hasn’t done for the WWE in years. Bravo AJ Lee!

The Main Event was a good match. Cena took some great heat from Jericho and Bryan. Before the match when the two had a catch phrase duel, I popped. If Jericho wanted to stay in the WWE, how awesome would a Byran/Jericho tag team be? They could rebuild the whole division by themselves.

In the end Cena and Jericho fight to the back and that leads to one of the coolest closing angle moments in RAW’s history. For weeks AJ has been distracting Kane by skipping to the ring. With Punk and Bryan it doesn’t work because these two are top gun talent. They focus on what goes on between the ropes. AJ then cranks up the crazy by threatening to launch herself from the top rope to a table she set up on the outside. This is enough to get the attention of the two men.

When AJ kissed Punk and then pushed him into Bryan as both men crashed into the table, I knew this was going to be a special moment. The shot of the two men laid out by the pint sized pixie while the crowd chanted along with her was an amazing way to close the show. In short AJ with her segments and this closer probably saved this episode of RAW.

As far as holiday shows go, most of this was true to form coasting. I didn’t even talk Big Show vs. Kane, because it was just plunder for the sake of plunder. The whole Punk-Bryan-AJ feud is carrying the WWE right now and people like John Cena need to either step their game up or get out of the way. For this week its AJ’s crazy world, and we’re just living in it. And that’s not a bad thing.