Saving Private Razor

When I was growing up one of the coolest things was Saturday morning wrestling. You'd wake up, eat a big bowl of Captain Crunch, watch some cartoons, and finish the morning with an hour of WWF wrasslin'. A ton of today's legends debuted on that show including Razor Ramon.

I used to clean my room as I had the television on in the background. When I first saw Razor Ramon, I stopped cleaning. I was instantly a fan. He was just full of charisma and the Razor's Edge is still a cool move. I would say that while Hogan slamming Andre hooked me into wrestling, it was Saturday mornings that kept me coming back because of guys like Atom Bomb, Scott Hall, and 1-2-3 Kid.

Fast forward a few decades, and now Razor Ramon has become a victim of his demons. The stories of drug induced incidents by Scott Hall are multiple Google pages long. He is probably the poster child for letting the party never stop. Much like Jake "The Snake" Roberts, who might be more infamous for smoking crack on film than for his years of being a top WWE star.

Jake fought his demons and looks to be on the mend with help from Diamond Dallas Page. The former WCW icon has now become the undisputed champion of Yoga. Yes, I said Yoga. DDP a few years back was on his way to being in a wheel chair with multiple back issues, but turned to Yoga, and is now healthier than he has been since his prime.

Page healed himself and now he is doing his best to heal Jake Roberts. The latest member of Team Redemption is Scott Hall. The former "Bad Guy" is staying with Roberts and Page as they try to bring Hall back from the abyss. Kevin Nash, Hall's best friend has doubts. He went on this rant on Twitter when he found out about Hall's new attempt at sobriety.

"I love everyone telling me about what Scott needs, been dealing with this for 20 years. Scott will get healthy when Scott wants 2 period.

Yeah, over a million dollars at the world's best rehab facilities, I've always said what about yoga.

This has nothing to do with me. This is on Scott and him alone. He knows he's loved. I've been there since day one. Nothing I can do. Only Scott.

If you have not lived with addiction, then you should shut the fuck up. Pray... really my prayers go unheard? Love 2 one that loves not himself.

I have seen the damage done, family, children, how dare you sit at your keyboard and judge me or those that have suffered along with this man.

Scott told everyone 2 months ago he was going to DDP's, going to be there that weekend. Show me the tape when he walks in the door.

Got to love Twitter, one of my best friends is "going" to Atlanta and some mark asks me what do I think of The Shield. Why, they going to rehab?

Jake was clean when he went to Dallas, Scott will die during the detox stage. That's real world not bullshit.

Does anyone realise Scott will die if not taken to a hospital and clinically detoxed? You fucking idiots...... Yoga great. 20 years of abuse?

Did Scott know he was on that call live, that's fucked up. I would never have my friend saying over and over he lives on vodka, don't work 4 me.

Q: I really hope Scott gets the help he needs but do u believe he will actually go to Atlanta to stay with DDP? - A: NO.

This is my friend's life, not a PSA. You want the truth? It's not for you to know."

It would seem that Nash believes that Hall is past good living as the solution and believes without licensed medical attention his friend will be wrestling with angels. He might know better as he has been there since day one. In a shoot interview he even talks about drugs and Hall. Check it out:

 

This just shows how when you're young you never think anything will catch up to you. They avoided the cops then, but maybe had Hall been arrested, then he mights not be as far gone as he is now. I know as a fan of Hall that I'm really hoping for a happy ending to this story. Let's all just keep our fingers crossed that DDP can save Hall, because the next step isn't who he will stay with, but who will be Scott Hall's pallbearers.

Armchair Booker: When Taker Met Punk

Earlier this week I talked about the state of the WWE creative team and how Vince McMahon is fed up with the current direction of the WWE writers. I laid out a loose plan for how to fix what is broken. My keystone idea being that the WrestleMania 29 main event should be the Undertaker vs. CM Punk for the WWE title in a streak vs. streak match. With that in mind you can book the rest of your year to build toward that pinnacle point. I said I would go deeper into this idea, and share some of my booking beliefs that I used in starting two different regional wrestling television shows, both highly rated in their timeslots, and a series of nationally distributed DVDs. Let’s dive in.

CM Punk is the hottest talent on the WWE roster today. John Cena is the most established. There is a difference. Cena has a very loyal fan base, but CM Punk has a constantly expanding fan base. Not all of these people are supporters of Punk, but more people are putting eyes on Punk than Cena these days. Even the high brass at Comic Con said that Punk was a better draw for them this year than Cena had been in the past. Be it to cheer for him, or to watch him get beat up, more people are opening their wallets to see CM Punk. That is why he is the WWE champion, and that is why he needs to be at the top of the WrestleMania 29 bill.

The Undertaker is the hottest talent in WWE history. He can stay away from the WWE for months, and with a toll of his bell, the fans are rabid to see him walk the aisle. He might be the greatest persona in pro wrestling history, dating back to the original carnival days. His undefeated streak at WrestleMania makes him a top draw each year. People want to see what is going to happen next, and at 20+ years, they don’t know which match is his last. This built in hype, and near god-like status, makes the Undertaker a necessity for the main event at WrestleMania 29. He’s a draw by just walking out the curtain, and that’s a great foundation to build on.

The two also have a small history. It’s only a few minutes on the CM Punk “Best in the World” DVD, but it was Undertaker vs. Punk for the world title after Summer Slam that cemented the disrespect the WWE brain trust had for Punk. They took a hot talent coming out of a sizzling feud, and fed him to the phenom. On the DVD they state that Taker had no respect for Punk going into their program, but over time that changed. It’s a great starting point given the current “No Respect” card being played by CM Punk. The standard bearer of the WWE is the only man left standing in the way of CM Punk getting the respect he believes that he deserves. The kind of respect that can’t be denied after beating the Undertaker at WrestleMania.

This is one of the many drawing factors for this match. There is the streak vs. streak dynamic. The Undertaker is 20-0. That is something in the current WWE that will never happen again. To get a talent that stays with the WWE for over two decades, and a creative team that handles that talent correctly the entire time, you’d have a higher success rate betting on Tammy Sytch staying out of prison. This will never happen again. Never. The uniqueness of the situation is another draw in itself. It’s like watching a comet that flies by the earth every millennium. It will never happen again during our life time. Things like this make money in any medium.

CM Punk is also doing something that will never happen again. He’s closing in on one year as WWE champion. That is something that doesn’t happen in the era of fans that have a train of thought only 140 characters long. By WrestleMania 29, he’ll be closing in on 18 months. It’s another unheard of situation that on its own draws people in. There will be fans who tune in because they don’t know when and if CM Punk is going to end the longest title reign since Hulk Hogan’s 1474 days between 1984-88. That’s before The Undertaker was lacing up his boots as “Mean” Mark Callous in WCW (1989). It’s a big deal.

As I stated earlier this week, it creates an unstoppable force vs. immovable object type of situation. Fans will tune in because they know something historic is going to happen. Neither looks to be giving ground, but one has to end. The mystery of the unknown has always been the best way to attract fans in pro wrestling, even more now in the “know-it-all” era. Add this dynamic to the draw both CM Punk and The Undertaker on their own have, and this angle has the steam to drive WrestleMania sales to record levels.

Just because you have the angle doesn’t mean you’re going to be a success.  Two things have to happen. The build to the match has to be good and the match has to deliver. You can’t promise prime rib, and give the fans tube steak.

The build on this match needs to be drawn out from the first RAW after the Royal Rumble up to WrestleMania 29. The Rock and Punk are fighting at the Rumble. No need to play the Undertaker card until after that takes place. Rock vs. Punk is going to be a good draw on its own, and will play an important role in setting the table for Mania. This is the match that is supposed to get Punk his respect. Beating the Rock is going to change everything for him. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

Punk beats Rock, but it doesn’t fill the hole in his ego. There isn’t a red carpet when he walks through the arena door. The locker room isn’t kissing his feet as he strolls through the back. Vince McMahon isn’t his personal ball washer. What does CM Punk have to do?

Cue the Undertaker.

Each year the Royal Rumble winner selects which title he is going to challenge for. Usually the winner comes out at the end of RAW and him haws between the World title and the WWE title. Whomever the winner is plays up the crowd, tilting to both sides, until eventually narrowing in on one champion. I would start with this.

The winner comes out and before he can start the Undertaker interrupts. He comes down and lays out that it doesn’t matter who he wants to pick. This year the Rumble winner will be facing the World champion because the Undertaker wants CM Punk and the WWE title. If you’ve got a baby face winner then he does the noble thing, tips his hat to the Taker, and leaves the ring. If you’ve got a heel winner, then he gets tossed out on his ass, and runs to the back with tail between legs. It gets established early than the Undertaker has that kind of clout and aura to bend things to his will. He’s the true King shit in the WWE universe.

Cue CM Punk.

The two meet in the ring. Punk talks respect. Taker lets him know respect is only earned by going to hell and back. They jab at each other for a few minutes. Finally a deal is made with the devil, only hang up is which guy is the Devil? The stakes are high for both, and the buzz begins.

Now you’ve got roughly 9 weeks to build this match up. The Undertaker stays protected. He’ll make appearances here and there for a promo or a vignette, but he isn’t wrestling. You save that for Mania. Punk can carry this feud on TV. He’ll even prove he’s better than the Undertaker by beating those victims of “The Streak”.

The next few weeks on RAW, a former WrestleMania opponent of the Undertaker gets rolled out to be taken down by CM Punk. Do the low hanging fruit first with the older legends like Snuka, Jake Roberts, or Sid that the WWE can send out for a cheap one night pop. Then move into the active roster opponents by having him face all the old opponents in an elimination chamber. That would be Kane, Orton, Tensai, Mark Henry, and Big Show. When Punk comes out champion, he can claim he beat five of Takers “victims” in one night. It also fills the required need for an Elimination Chamber match before Mania.

Finally the homestretch leading up to Mania is Punk being confronted by HHH, HBK, Nash, and Flair. He can run all four men down. He can talk about doing what they couldn’t. He has held the WWE title longer than any of them. Now he’s going to end the streak that claimed their careers. Its four weeks of dueling promos that should help build up the intensity of this match. The last two weeks then are spent drawing both the Undertaker and CM Punk into a collision course, with the closing moments being a face to face showdown filled with pipe bombs and near blows. They shouldn’t physically get involved, just tease it. Both men need to leave the ring with their head held high exuding the confidence that come Sunday they’ll have their hand raised.

The actual match is where the true magic and shock happens. First I would start the match entrances at 9:30 PM. The earlier start will have the smart fans wondering what is going on. They’ll believe that there is something big coming. It’s just too early to begin the main event.

The two will then wrestle for sixty minutes. It’s the kind of match the current WWE audience has never seen. Punk, if you’ve followed his career, is a master at the sixty minute match. He understands the pacing and how to protect somebody like the Undertaker, whose age can limit him. For an entire hour the two go to war. They pull out all the stops with false finishes, brawls outside the ring, etc. Then the bell rings to signify that time has expired. The match is a draw. Punk keeps his title, and The Undertaker is still undefeated. The fight doesn’t stop though.

As the bell rings they keep trading blows. The ref tries to pull them apart, and he’s laid out. They continue to fight all over the place because to them only one man is walking out tonight. More officials and security try to stop it, and they’re laid out too. For a good ten minutes Taker and Punk either fight each other or those trying to get between them. Finally the two fight on to the main stage trading big blow after big blow. Each man trying to finish the other with one big shot, their bodies broken and bloody. Then in the end, on their knees, they trade fists, chops, and head-butts. Finally, leaning on each other tossing noodle fists with both gas tanks empty, Taker and Punk collapse next to each other laid out on the main stage.

As WrestleMania ends officials, paramedics, and staff surround the two as double stretchers are wheeled out. Both men being checked on and eventually wheeled out as Punk holds a thumbs up in the air. He didn’t beat the Undertaker at WrestleMania, but he did something nobody has ever done. He survived him.

People will tune in the next night. Sure there will be fans that don’t like a draw finish, but it’s the one thing the WWE can do to protect the Taker’s streak, and pass the torch to the next generation before it is too late. It’s something nobody will see coming, and a moment that will cement the legacy of both men like what happened for Hogan and Andre at WM3.

You keep both men off RAW the next night to sell the brutality. The next week you promote the appearance of Punk the following week on RAW. Finally on the third RAW after Mania, you have Punk come out to address the fall out. This can lead to a new feud or it can start planting the seeds for their rematch at WrestleMania 30, probably both.

No matter what, if this was to happen it would always be remembered as the night Taker met Punk.

Fantasy Wrasslin'

As far as hobbies, or obsessions as my wife would say, go I am into three things: Pro Wrestling, Comic Books, and Fantasy Football. If it wasn't for my wife being pregnant then it would be hard for me to argue not being a virgin. I often find a lot of hobbies, but most just fizzle out after a couple of weeks. Those three things through the years have always managed to keep my interests. In a few weeks I'll have my fantasy football draft in a league that I have won the past two championships. It's all about mathematics and applied values in relation to quality/quantity ratios.

Broken down that basically means how far is the seperation between certain players at a position. Knowing that seperation allows for knowing when to grab certain players before the position falls off the cliff. Like this year Brady, Rodgers, and Brees will go in the first round, but Vick, Romo, or Manning could all have equal or just slightly worse values than those three, but go in the 5th to 8th round. While running backs who carry most of their teams load instead of being in a comittee are a rare commodity. Having two such backs like a McFadden, Richardson, Forte, or Jones Drew can tip the scales in your favor as opposed to wasting a top tier pick on a QB that might be equal to a mid-round pick. It's not an exact science, and there is way more that goes into it, but now you know how geeky I am about my hobbies. Hell you're reading a blog I write about pro wrestling, which I haven't laced up the boots for in almost 6 years.

As I prepared for my up coming draft I wondered what kind of fantasy wrestling team I could put together. I kind of want to get some of my wrestling friends together and do a draft. That might be a fun idea for down the road. Right now I just want to put together a fantasy roster. I'll go over my picks, and give some details on each talent.

Rules for building my fantasy wrestling roster:

1. Must contain 3 singles wrestlers from each of the big three promotions (WWE, TNA, RoH) to give the roster 9 total singles wrestlers.
2. Must contain one tag team from each of the big three promotions to give the roster 3 established teams.
3. Must contain four female talents involved in wrestling in the past year.
4. Must contain one unsigned talent

All together that gives the roster twenty wrestlers, which is a good start for a core roster of talents in any wrestling promotion. I had a lot of fun with this and I think I have come up with a good roster that can interact well together. Plus I decided when building this that I would try to do it without any Kevin Nash money makers just to prove a point.

G.R.o.W. Fantasy Roster

Singles

• CM Punk: Unless you're a first time reader to this site then you know I am a huge Punk fan. I think he has every tool you need to be one of the greats. He can wrestle with any person on the planet. He has buckets of charisma. He can cut a promo with the best of them. He also has a unique look that helps him stand out in a crowd. If this is a draft then he would be my first round pick.
• Daniel Bryan: He is a great in ring talent. He might even be better between the ropes than CM Punk. In the past year his personality has grown outside the ropes. He has the ability to make anyone look better than they are in the ring. He is the Macho Man to Punk's Hogan. If Punk is my top guy then Bryan is the guy that helps build future opponents for Punk and eventually sells out houses as his biggest rival.
• Dean Ambrose: Don't know who Dean is? Just wait and you will. If Brian Pillman had a baby with Stone Cold Steve Austin when they were the Hollywood Blondes then it would be Dean Ambrose. His promos are great. He has a good in ring ability. He also is willing to push any boundry. As a booker, Dean gives you no limits on where to take his character, which can lead to some interesting developments. Ambrose is my sleeper pick.
• Austin Aries: AA has come on the scene with a vengeance this year. He was good in RoH, but he's epic in TNA. His cocky personality becomes even better when he proves every word in the ring. Aries is the kind of talent that can steal the show in the dark match. He, like Punk & Bryan, can have great matches with a corpse. He might be my 2nd pick in a fantasy draft.
• Samoa Joe: If you haven't seen, my roster is not based on size, which plays into Joe's favor. Having average sized talents makes Samoa Joe look bigger. He becomes the beast of my roster. I also think his physical style sets him a part. I would use him like a Taz in that when you see Joe then you know shit is about to get real and somebody is going to get manhandled. I do think he has some limitations in his promo ability, but in ring he can really bring it with the right talents.
• Bully Ray: The former Dudley has really broken free from his tag team days. His new persona might be the best pure heel in the business. I like his physical style, and on a microphone he could cause a riot at a monastery. I would be real interested to see Bully Ray take on CM Punk.
• Kevin Steen, Steve Corino, and Jimmy Jacobs: I'm not listing these three separate because their work as the anti-ROH stable has been outstanding. They can all wrestle, plus each brings a unique role. Steen may look like a garbage man but he wrestles like Flair. Corino is an old vet that knows all the tricks plus cuts a mean promo. Jacobs is a fantastic pest in that he can wrestle, bump, and he can get on people's nerves with his antics. I would keep them as a stable.

Tag Teams

• Airboom: Before Evan Bourne got his 2nd strike, and got into a car accident, this was a really promising tag team. They could do a lot in the ring together. Their promo skills leave something to be desired, but as singles wrestlers they both can help build a roster. As a tag team they are very marketable.
• The Briscoe Brothers: Unique look, check. Great personalities, check. Crazy loose cannons, Damn Right! I love everything about this tag team. Nobody looks like they do. The Youtube videos are hilarious. Plus they are willing to do anything in and out of the ring including putting their bodies on the line. Every promotion should have a team this dedicated to their performance.
• Daniels & Kazarian: Both men can be good singles wrestlers, but together they have a great fluidity. They can interact with the high flyers like Airboom, but also get down & dirty with physical teams like the Briscoes. Another valuable team that strengthens the whole roster. Plus Christopher Daniels is a good mic worker, who constantly freshens up his character.

Women

• Amazing Kong (Kharma): How the WWE ever let her get away I will not know. No woman looks like her and no woman can wrestle like her. There might not be a lot of male wrestlers that can do what she does. Hell all you need is Kong to have a strong women's division. I might take her with my 3rd pick because of the draw factor for such a unique personality.
• Velvet Sky & Angelina Love: As a duo these two are great. They play the perfect stuck up bitches. Add in that they both can wrestle, and it's just sprinkles on my cupcake. My three ladies are all unsigned talents, and together they might be the best female roster in wrestling. That's how far back the big three are on women's wrestling.
• Sara Del Rey: The best in ring women's wrestler going. She doesn't look like a playboy bunny, which is probably why she isn't on your television. I heard she signed with the WWE to head up their development. She should be their champion. She's that damn good.

Unsigned

• Krimson: He's an old friend of mine. He has a great look, plus TNA stole his gimmick & his name for two of their wrestlers. Great mic skills with ten years of experience. I like having wrestlers on my roster that I can trust. He'll be that kind of worker on this all star roster. The gimmick stands out and it is something you can use in the marketing department on all promotions. Plus his promos are kinda creepy, which helps him stand out even more. He's also buddies with Kevin Nash, and this roster was inspired by Big Sexy.

That's my twenty person fantasy wrestling roster. I think I could do some cool things with these talents that hasn't been seen on television. Yesterday I said it takes breaking new ground to draw money, and that is what this roster could do. In ring this would be the best thing going today. With some time, character development, and some risk taking this roster of talents could be bigger than WWF, WCW, or ECW at the height of their popularity.

If you have a roster of your choosing please leave it in the comments section. Would love to see what other people come up with.

Size Doesn't Matter, Sizzle Does!

Kevin Nash once again has opened up the discussion that small wrestlers don't draw money. In an article for Grantland.com, Nash said that at WrestleMania 20 the crowning of Eddie Guerrero & Chris Benoit as champions is what destroyed the business. He claims that when wrestling went away from Monsters to normal sized competitors that the fans went away too.

Many have fired shots back at Big Sexy. Chris Jericho says it was Nash's run as WWE champion in 1995 that was the lowest drawing period in the WWE, and that he merely took a ride on Hall & Hogan's coattails in the NWO. Chavo Guerrero Sr, who knows a little about this sport called wrestling, laid into Nash claiming besides his size that he lacked any wrestling ability. Jim Ross even disagreed with Nash, but wasn't as vocal in his opposition.

The fact is that Kevin Nash is good at creating a buzz. It maybe his greatest talent. He's like that kid on the playground that just knows what buttons to push. He's a big guy, there are a lot of smaller wrestlers in today's environment, and the two guys he talked about aren't around anymore to defend themselves. Put all of it together, and it creates the perfect storm. In short, he hooked em.

Now no matter what side you're on you have gone to Grantland and read the article. You've read the small snipet that is creating all this craziness, but you've also read about his Hollywood projects. You've read about what Kevin Nash is upto now. You've made Kevin Nash a headline story on all the wrestling sites, and he hasn't stepped foot in the ring for one of the big 3 wrestling promotions. He's more talked about right now than Brock Lesnar, HBK, or HHH; the main players in the Summer Slam main event in 11 days. Kevin Nash without trying has out sizzled the WWE and TNA, both going into big pay per views.

Now I disagree with Kevin Nash. I don't believe size matters because even as far back as the 60's midgets have drawn money. What draws money is the bookers or writers being able to create storylines, matches, and moments for talents big & small that keep the fans opening their wallets.

Truly what has killed wrestling, especially in the WWE, is the lost art of true creative minds in the business. The head of creative for the largest promotion got her job because of her last name. The guy leading the writers in TNA is still living off his stroke of luck from the attitude era that he hasn't been able to recreate in nearly 15 years. Finally the brain trust in Ring of Honor continues to run it's promotion like it's the late 80's, which hasn't done much to move the needle.

All in all the talents and fans have evolved, the creative process has devolved. That kind of seperation between the major factors in pro wrestling is what kills business. When the writers and bookers stop believing they are smarter than the talent, start working with them instead of above them, then the money will come back.

The curtain has been pulled back on the mystery of wrestling, but the ability to tell a story hasn't. People still go to broadway even when they know the play isn't reality TV, the same can happen for Pro Wrestling. Bookers just need to stop booking for their own benefit and start doing it for the best interests of the talents and the fans. Stephanie, Russo, and Cornette need to evolve with the business instead of kicking and screaming to keep it the way they like it. Simply put they need to leave their comfort zone.

When the bookers/writers of wrestling take risks then they will break new ground. They will establish new places for the minds of fans and talents to go, which is all both sides are asking for. Fans want fresh storylines that don't look like the same recyled crap they have watched since Flair and Hogan. Talents wants new ways to get their characters over other than the cookie cutter ways that have been the standard since Nash was Oz.

People will say there is no new ground in pro wrestling. They will say that everything has been done. Those are the people who think the world of pro wrestling is flat. I am here to tell you it is round. If we sail our ships to the edge, we won't fall off, we'll just discover new territory. Money can be made with a seven footer or a midget. Money can be made with women or men. Money can be made with anyone. It's up to the creative minds to finally start doing their jobs and finding that money by discovering new ground in Pro Wrestling.

In this business it will never be about size, but about sizzle. The easiest way to get sizzle is to give people something they've never seen before. That will get people talking, which is what Kevin Nash has done. And they're only talking because there is nothing new to take Nash's place.