Fantasy Wrasslin'

As far as hobbies, or obsessions as my wife would say, go I am into three things: Pro Wrestling, Comic Books, and Fantasy Football. If it wasn't for my wife being pregnant then it would be hard for me to argue not being a virgin. I often find a lot of hobbies, but most just fizzle out after a couple of weeks. Those three things through the years have always managed to keep my interests. In a few weeks I'll have my fantasy football draft in a league that I have won the past two championships. It's all about mathematics and applied values in relation to quality/quantity ratios.

Broken down that basically means how far is the seperation between certain players at a position. Knowing that seperation allows for knowing when to grab certain players before the position falls off the cliff. Like this year Brady, Rodgers, and Brees will go in the first round, but Vick, Romo, or Manning could all have equal or just slightly worse values than those three, but go in the 5th to 8th round. While running backs who carry most of their teams load instead of being in a comittee are a rare commodity. Having two such backs like a McFadden, Richardson, Forte, or Jones Drew can tip the scales in your favor as opposed to wasting a top tier pick on a QB that might be equal to a mid-round pick. It's not an exact science, and there is way more that goes into it, but now you know how geeky I am about my hobbies. Hell you're reading a blog I write about pro wrestling, which I haven't laced up the boots for in almost 6 years.

As I prepared for my up coming draft I wondered what kind of fantasy wrestling team I could put together. I kind of want to get some of my wrestling friends together and do a draft. That might be a fun idea for down the road. Right now I just want to put together a fantasy roster. I'll go over my picks, and give some details on each talent.

Rules for building my fantasy wrestling roster:

1. Must contain 3 singles wrestlers from each of the big three promotions (WWE, TNA, RoH) to give the roster 9 total singles wrestlers.
2. Must contain one tag team from each of the big three promotions to give the roster 3 established teams.
3. Must contain four female talents involved in wrestling in the past year.
4. Must contain one unsigned talent

All together that gives the roster twenty wrestlers, which is a good start for a core roster of talents in any wrestling promotion. I had a lot of fun with this and I think I have come up with a good roster that can interact well together. Plus I decided when building this that I would try to do it without any Kevin Nash money makers just to prove a point.

G.R.o.W. Fantasy Roster

Singles

• CM Punk: Unless you're a first time reader to this site then you know I am a huge Punk fan. I think he has every tool you need to be one of the greats. He can wrestle with any person on the planet. He has buckets of charisma. He can cut a promo with the best of them. He also has a unique look that helps him stand out in a crowd. If this is a draft then he would be my first round pick.
• Daniel Bryan: He is a great in ring talent. He might even be better between the ropes than CM Punk. In the past year his personality has grown outside the ropes. He has the ability to make anyone look better than they are in the ring. He is the Macho Man to Punk's Hogan. If Punk is my top guy then Bryan is the guy that helps build future opponents for Punk and eventually sells out houses as his biggest rival.
• Dean Ambrose: Don't know who Dean is? Just wait and you will. If Brian Pillman had a baby with Stone Cold Steve Austin when they were the Hollywood Blondes then it would be Dean Ambrose. His promos are great. He has a good in ring ability. He also is willing to push any boundry. As a booker, Dean gives you no limits on where to take his character, which can lead to some interesting developments. Ambrose is my sleeper pick.
• Austin Aries: AA has come on the scene with a vengeance this year. He was good in RoH, but he's epic in TNA. His cocky personality becomes even better when he proves every word in the ring. Aries is the kind of talent that can steal the show in the dark match. He, like Punk & Bryan, can have great matches with a corpse. He might be my 2nd pick in a fantasy draft.
• Samoa Joe: If you haven't seen, my roster is not based on size, which plays into Joe's favor. Having average sized talents makes Samoa Joe look bigger. He becomes the beast of my roster. I also think his physical style sets him a part. I would use him like a Taz in that when you see Joe then you know shit is about to get real and somebody is going to get manhandled. I do think he has some limitations in his promo ability, but in ring he can really bring it with the right talents.
• Bully Ray: The former Dudley has really broken free from his tag team days. His new persona might be the best pure heel in the business. I like his physical style, and on a microphone he could cause a riot at a monastery. I would be real interested to see Bully Ray take on CM Punk.
• Kevin Steen, Steve Corino, and Jimmy Jacobs: I'm not listing these three separate because their work as the anti-ROH stable has been outstanding. They can all wrestle, plus each brings a unique role. Steen may look like a garbage man but he wrestles like Flair. Corino is an old vet that knows all the tricks plus cuts a mean promo. Jacobs is a fantastic pest in that he can wrestle, bump, and he can get on people's nerves with his antics. I would keep them as a stable.

Tag Teams

• Airboom: Before Evan Bourne got his 2nd strike, and got into a car accident, this was a really promising tag team. They could do a lot in the ring together. Their promo skills leave something to be desired, but as singles wrestlers they both can help build a roster. As a tag team they are very marketable.
• The Briscoe Brothers: Unique look, check. Great personalities, check. Crazy loose cannons, Damn Right! I love everything about this tag team. Nobody looks like they do. The Youtube videos are hilarious. Plus they are willing to do anything in and out of the ring including putting their bodies on the line. Every promotion should have a team this dedicated to their performance.
• Daniels & Kazarian: Both men can be good singles wrestlers, but together they have a great fluidity. They can interact with the high flyers like Airboom, but also get down & dirty with physical teams like the Briscoes. Another valuable team that strengthens the whole roster. Plus Christopher Daniels is a good mic worker, who constantly freshens up his character.

Women

• Amazing Kong (Kharma): How the WWE ever let her get away I will not know. No woman looks like her and no woman can wrestle like her. There might not be a lot of male wrestlers that can do what she does. Hell all you need is Kong to have a strong women's division. I might take her with my 3rd pick because of the draw factor for such a unique personality.
• Velvet Sky & Angelina Love: As a duo these two are great. They play the perfect stuck up bitches. Add in that they both can wrestle, and it's just sprinkles on my cupcake. My three ladies are all unsigned talents, and together they might be the best female roster in wrestling. That's how far back the big three are on women's wrestling.
• Sara Del Rey: The best in ring women's wrestler going. She doesn't look like a playboy bunny, which is probably why she isn't on your television. I heard she signed with the WWE to head up their development. She should be their champion. She's that damn good.

Unsigned

• Krimson: He's an old friend of mine. He has a great look, plus TNA stole his gimmick & his name for two of their wrestlers. Great mic skills with ten years of experience. I like having wrestlers on my roster that I can trust. He'll be that kind of worker on this all star roster. The gimmick stands out and it is something you can use in the marketing department on all promotions. Plus his promos are kinda creepy, which helps him stand out even more. He's also buddies with Kevin Nash, and this roster was inspired by Big Sexy.

That's my twenty person fantasy wrestling roster. I think I could do some cool things with these talents that hasn't been seen on television. Yesterday I said it takes breaking new ground to draw money, and that is what this roster could do. In ring this would be the best thing going today. With some time, character development, and some risk taking this roster of talents could be bigger than WWF, WCW, or ECW at the height of their popularity.

If you have a roster of your choosing please leave it in the comments section. Would love to see what other people come up with.

TNA's Impact Wrestling: A Mixed Bag Of Nuts

(Courtesy of TNA)

It’s a rough day today at Grass Roots of Wrestling. It’s no secret that I’m a huge Oklahoma City Thunder fan. I have been since they were known as the Seattle Supersonics. Last night the young Thunder got knocked out of the NBA finals by the NBA’s version of the Mega Bucks. It was a great season for the Thunder, and I look forward to seeing what they do with the 28^th pick in the NBA Draft. This is the deepest draft in a decade.

I’m hoping All American Draymond Green from Michigan State University, who is a jack of all trades type of player, is available at the end of the first round. For a team not looking to shake up the first 8 players in their rotation, Green would fit well as the 9^th man on the bench because of his ability to bring a variety of basketball options to the team including passing, rebounding, and an extremely high basketball IQ. With a team that’s core group of players is around 23 years old collectively, I know the Oklahoma City Thunder are going to be a force in the years to come. This isn’t the end, just the beginning.

After the game I settled in to watch TNA’s Impact Wrestling on the DVR. I will have to admit I haven’t watched much TNA over the past year because every time I do I usually end up regretting what I am seeing. I think the frustrating part about TNA is that they have some of the most talented wrestlers in the business, but usually the promotion ends up dropping the ball with the misuse of talent, diluted storylines with too many twists as if the writers are trying to prove they’re smarter than the fans, or they try too hard to be a wrestling show pretending to be a reality show. You’re not the WWE, you’re Total Non-Stop Action. Highlight your athletic roster and stop trying to be another show on VH1.

Last night was another mixed bag of nuts on Impact Wrestling. First off, Austin Aries should be called “The Mint” because he prints money. His look, his mic skills, and his persona are better than almost anything in pro wrestling today. Then add in the fact he is one of the top five wrestlers walking the planet today, and you have a true bona fide star. I loved the opening segment because it helped elevate the X-division, it showed AA isn’t a moron because who turns down a shot at the world title, and it was a good use of Hulk Hogan to help get a star over instead of himself. Robert Roode vs. Austin Aries will probably be the best wrestling match on PPV in July for any company, WWE included.

The decision to make it that every year the X-division champion can trade the title for a world title shot at Destination X is a really good idea. The title already had importance, but now it will have more importance around TNA’s biggest time of the year, Slammiversary. If you are the X-champ after that PPV then you are guaranteed a title shot at the next PPV. It just adds more heat to any title bout. A big thumbs-up to TNA on elevating one of their second tier belts, unlike what the WWE has done with theirs. Who’s the US champ, and does anyone care?

The Bound for Glory series is another over thinker moment in TNA. I didn’t like it last year, and I don’t like it again this year. I guess it is for the stat nerds. If this happens then this can happen, blah blah blah. Why is a submission victory more important that a pinfall? Kurt Angle gets an Ankle Lock & its 10 points. Jeff Hardy nearly cripples RVD with a KO neck snapping twist of fate & its 7 points. It doesn’t make sense.

Also having Robbie E in the series makes no sense at all either. Crimson has lost one match in his TNA career and he is somehow out of it. What about Sting? He was in the Slammiversary main event a couple weeks back & now he can’t get into the Bound for Glory series. Yet Robbie E is out there getting torn apart by Kurt Angle. Also the Pope has been out for a bit, and he returns to a spot in the series. Maybe I missed something, but shouldn’t the guys who have been on TV be in the series, not a Jersey Shore midcarder & a dude straight off the shelf. Plus why do I care about Magnus? He’s an ok talent, but what about Kazarian? AJ & Angle are in the tournament, why not Daniels’ partner?

This Bound for Glory Series is another over thought angle that has too many holes in its logic. The six matches were ok, but nothing to write home about. The ten minute time limit puts restrictions on the talents to tell a story. There is just so much you can do in 6-8 minutes. How is this going to play on PPV, where 15-20 minute matches can do more to flesh out the feuds & characters? Until I see something special from this idea, it will continue to be a failure by TNA & a waste of talent.

Another waste of my time is Dixie Carter. I was lucky enough to marry a beautiful Indian woman. Her Grandma came to America from India years ago. When I hang out with Nani, we watch Indian soap operas on Zee TV. It’s how I am learning to speak Hindi. Anytime Dixie Carter is on my TV it looks like an Indian soap opera. She is over the top emotional for everything. On top of that she somehow sucks three of the best talents (AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and Frankie Kazarian) into her web of soap opera suck.

The current storyline is that somehow Dixie & AJ are doing unspeakable deeds behind closed doors as Daniels & Kaz would have us all believe. Yet it isn’t that they are committing adultery, but helping a pregnant addict that they both know somehow. Are you kidding me? I hate when they bring addiction & this type of stuff into wrestling. So for the past few weeks AJ has been protecting the secret of an addict and letting his & Dixie’s names be dragged through the mud, including letting talents call them home wreckers. Now we just need an evil auntie with an oversized bindi, and this would be classic Indian soap opera.

There are too many non-wrestling, non-manager characters on the TNA roster. Hogan is the GM, Dixie is the owner, and Brooke Hogan is the Knockout Commish. Is Nick Hogan going to be the food & beverage manager next?

What does Brooke Hogan bring to the table? Just because Ivanka Trump is on the apprentice doesn’t mean Hulk’s kid has to be in TNA. The group meeting in multiple segments was a waste of time. A title match is on the line and everybody is just chillin’ like it’s a slumber party, catty comments & all. The Knockouts are leaps & bounds better in the ring than the WWE Divas, but their segments behind the scenes are just the pits.

“Let’s pow wow for a bit girls so I can get to know you”, hey Brooke how about you watch the product before you take the job! How does anyone get a job running a division in any business & have no idea about what makes up the division? If Brooke’s work was her boyfriend, it would cheat on her for being this horrible. The capper was having Velvet Sky & Mickie James together backstage as she made her decision, and there wasn’t much of a fight from Sky when Brooke picked James. She just hugs Mickie. I guess that title isn’t that important.

One Segment that is really original is the TNA Gut Check. The idea is great & it lets the audience see some of the amazing talent on the independent circuit. Each time Gut Check comes around I will tune in because I want to see fresh faces, and this is a perfect way to do it without taking away from your established talent. It makes the crowd care about somebody who will probably job out to an established talent.

Taeler Hendrix, this week’s Gut Checker, had a nice piece on her. Giving her a backstory like being a cancer survivor, and showing footage from some of her indie matches, helps develop why the fans should care about her. In the ring she was ok. She didn’t screw anything up, but there wasn’t any moment that popped out that made me want to see her again. Her look doesn’t set her apart from the other knockouts, and the way she took Tara’s finisher didn’t do much to help elevate the established veteran. I would be shocked if Ms. Hendrix survives her Gut Check. Good try, but better luck next time.

Bully Ray is another bright spot for the company. The former Dudley is probably the best heel in the company. On the mic he can get the crowd to riot. In the ring he is so physical. I hope he can get out of this Abyss feud soon, and move on to the title picture, especially if AA wins at Destination X. An undersized champ and a brutish bully, it writes itself. More Bully Ray, More Austin Aries, Less Boobs Hogan; That’s a recipe for success.

Again TNA’s Impact Wrestling was another episode of highs and lows. As one segment would make you want to keep watching, there was equally another segment that made you want to change the channel. The matches didn’t really move the needle as most looked to be more angle driven than anything. Again the 10 minute time limit forces too many matches to have the out of nowhere finish feeling. It is handcuffing TNAs ability to set themselves apart from the WWE, where the 6-8 minute match is their bread & butter.

This show, and the promotion overall, is a big mixed bag of nuts, which probably explains why they drive me crazy. Cut the crap, stop trying to be a full contact soap opera, and start being the action packed promotion you can be. I like the way Hulk Hogan is used. I like a lot of the wrestlers. The Knockouts can wrestle. Just stop trying to be a reality show with situational drama & out of the box concepts that water down the actual product. I don’t care about the backstage meetings & hug fests going on. Make me believe these people want to tear each other apart in & out of the ring. This is Pro Wrestling, not a Boy Scout camping trip. Less weenie roasting, and more action! There are too many lulls for this to be called Non-stop.