Armchair Booker: When Taker Met Punk

Earlier this week I talked about the state of the WWE creative team and how Vince McMahon is fed up with the current direction of the WWE writers. I laid out a loose plan for how to fix what is broken. My keystone idea being that the WrestleMania 29 main event should be the Undertaker vs. CM Punk for the WWE title in a streak vs. streak match. With that in mind you can book the rest of your year to build toward that pinnacle point. I said I would go deeper into this idea, and share some of my booking beliefs that I used in starting two different regional wrestling television shows, both highly rated in their timeslots, and a series of nationally distributed DVDs. Let’s dive in.

CM Punk is the hottest talent on the WWE roster today. John Cena is the most established. There is a difference. Cena has a very loyal fan base, but CM Punk has a constantly expanding fan base. Not all of these people are supporters of Punk, but more people are putting eyes on Punk than Cena these days. Even the high brass at Comic Con said that Punk was a better draw for them this year than Cena had been in the past. Be it to cheer for him, or to watch him get beat up, more people are opening their wallets to see CM Punk. That is why he is the WWE champion, and that is why he needs to be at the top of the WrestleMania 29 bill.

The Undertaker is the hottest talent in WWE history. He can stay away from the WWE for months, and with a toll of his bell, the fans are rabid to see him walk the aisle. He might be the greatest persona in pro wrestling history, dating back to the original carnival days. His undefeated streak at WrestleMania makes him a top draw each year. People want to see what is going to happen next, and at 20+ years, they don’t know which match is his last. This built in hype, and near god-like status, makes the Undertaker a necessity for the main event at WrestleMania 29. He’s a draw by just walking out the curtain, and that’s a great foundation to build on.

The two also have a small history. It’s only a few minutes on the CM Punk “Best in the World” DVD, but it was Undertaker vs. Punk for the world title after Summer Slam that cemented the disrespect the WWE brain trust had for Punk. They took a hot talent coming out of a sizzling feud, and fed him to the phenom. On the DVD they state that Taker had no respect for Punk going into their program, but over time that changed. It’s a great starting point given the current “No Respect” card being played by CM Punk. The standard bearer of the WWE is the only man left standing in the way of CM Punk getting the respect he believes that he deserves. The kind of respect that can’t be denied after beating the Undertaker at WrestleMania.

This is one of the many drawing factors for this match. There is the streak vs. streak dynamic. The Undertaker is 20-0. That is something in the current WWE that will never happen again. To get a talent that stays with the WWE for over two decades, and a creative team that handles that talent correctly the entire time, you’d have a higher success rate betting on Tammy Sytch staying out of prison. This will never happen again. Never. The uniqueness of the situation is another draw in itself. It’s like watching a comet that flies by the earth every millennium. It will never happen again during our life time. Things like this make money in any medium.

CM Punk is also doing something that will never happen again. He’s closing in on one year as WWE champion. That is something that doesn’t happen in the era of fans that have a train of thought only 140 characters long. By WrestleMania 29, he’ll be closing in on 18 months. It’s another unheard of situation that on its own draws people in. There will be fans who tune in because they don’t know when and if CM Punk is going to end the longest title reign since Hulk Hogan’s 1474 days between 1984-88. That’s before The Undertaker was lacing up his boots as “Mean” Mark Callous in WCW (1989). It’s a big deal.

As I stated earlier this week, it creates an unstoppable force vs. immovable object type of situation. Fans will tune in because they know something historic is going to happen. Neither looks to be giving ground, but one has to end. The mystery of the unknown has always been the best way to attract fans in pro wrestling, even more now in the “know-it-all” era. Add this dynamic to the draw both CM Punk and The Undertaker on their own have, and this angle has the steam to drive WrestleMania sales to record levels.

Just because you have the angle doesn’t mean you’re going to be a success.  Two things have to happen. The build to the match has to be good and the match has to deliver. You can’t promise prime rib, and give the fans tube steak.

The build on this match needs to be drawn out from the first RAW after the Royal Rumble up to WrestleMania 29. The Rock and Punk are fighting at the Rumble. No need to play the Undertaker card until after that takes place. Rock vs. Punk is going to be a good draw on its own, and will play an important role in setting the table for Mania. This is the match that is supposed to get Punk his respect. Beating the Rock is going to change everything for him. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

Punk beats Rock, but it doesn’t fill the hole in his ego. There isn’t a red carpet when he walks through the arena door. The locker room isn’t kissing his feet as he strolls through the back. Vince McMahon isn’t his personal ball washer. What does CM Punk have to do?

Cue the Undertaker.

Each year the Royal Rumble winner selects which title he is going to challenge for. Usually the winner comes out at the end of RAW and him haws between the World title and the WWE title. Whomever the winner is plays up the crowd, tilting to both sides, until eventually narrowing in on one champion. I would start with this.

The winner comes out and before he can start the Undertaker interrupts. He comes down and lays out that it doesn’t matter who he wants to pick. This year the Rumble winner will be facing the World champion because the Undertaker wants CM Punk and the WWE title. If you’ve got a baby face winner then he does the noble thing, tips his hat to the Taker, and leaves the ring. If you’ve got a heel winner, then he gets tossed out on his ass, and runs to the back with tail between legs. It gets established early than the Undertaker has that kind of clout and aura to bend things to his will. He’s the true King shit in the WWE universe.

Cue CM Punk.

The two meet in the ring. Punk talks respect. Taker lets him know respect is only earned by going to hell and back. They jab at each other for a few minutes. Finally a deal is made with the devil, only hang up is which guy is the Devil? The stakes are high for both, and the buzz begins.

Now you’ve got roughly 9 weeks to build this match up. The Undertaker stays protected. He’ll make appearances here and there for a promo or a vignette, but he isn’t wrestling. You save that for Mania. Punk can carry this feud on TV. He’ll even prove he’s better than the Undertaker by beating those victims of “The Streak”.

The next few weeks on RAW, a former WrestleMania opponent of the Undertaker gets rolled out to be taken down by CM Punk. Do the low hanging fruit first with the older legends like Snuka, Jake Roberts, or Sid that the WWE can send out for a cheap one night pop. Then move into the active roster opponents by having him face all the old opponents in an elimination chamber. That would be Kane, Orton, Tensai, Mark Henry, and Big Show. When Punk comes out champion, he can claim he beat five of Takers “victims” in one night. It also fills the required need for an Elimination Chamber match before Mania.

Finally the homestretch leading up to Mania is Punk being confronted by HHH, HBK, Nash, and Flair. He can run all four men down. He can talk about doing what they couldn’t. He has held the WWE title longer than any of them. Now he’s going to end the streak that claimed their careers. Its four weeks of dueling promos that should help build up the intensity of this match. The last two weeks then are spent drawing both the Undertaker and CM Punk into a collision course, with the closing moments being a face to face showdown filled with pipe bombs and near blows. They shouldn’t physically get involved, just tease it. Both men need to leave the ring with their head held high exuding the confidence that come Sunday they’ll have their hand raised.

The actual match is where the true magic and shock happens. First I would start the match entrances at 9:30 PM. The earlier start will have the smart fans wondering what is going on. They’ll believe that there is something big coming. It’s just too early to begin the main event.

The two will then wrestle for sixty minutes. It’s the kind of match the current WWE audience has never seen. Punk, if you’ve followed his career, is a master at the sixty minute match. He understands the pacing and how to protect somebody like the Undertaker, whose age can limit him. For an entire hour the two go to war. They pull out all the stops with false finishes, brawls outside the ring, etc. Then the bell rings to signify that time has expired. The match is a draw. Punk keeps his title, and The Undertaker is still undefeated. The fight doesn’t stop though.

As the bell rings they keep trading blows. The ref tries to pull them apart, and he’s laid out. They continue to fight all over the place because to them only one man is walking out tonight. More officials and security try to stop it, and they’re laid out too. For a good ten minutes Taker and Punk either fight each other or those trying to get between them. Finally the two fight on to the main stage trading big blow after big blow. Each man trying to finish the other with one big shot, their bodies broken and bloody. Then in the end, on their knees, they trade fists, chops, and head-butts. Finally, leaning on each other tossing noodle fists with both gas tanks empty, Taker and Punk collapse next to each other laid out on the main stage.

As WrestleMania ends officials, paramedics, and staff surround the two as double stretchers are wheeled out. Both men being checked on and eventually wheeled out as Punk holds a thumbs up in the air. He didn’t beat the Undertaker at WrestleMania, but he did something nobody has ever done. He survived him.

People will tune in the next night. Sure there will be fans that don’t like a draw finish, but it’s the one thing the WWE can do to protect the Taker’s streak, and pass the torch to the next generation before it is too late. It’s something nobody will see coming, and a moment that will cement the legacy of both men like what happened for Hogan and Andre at WM3.

You keep both men off RAW the next night to sell the brutality. The next week you promote the appearance of Punk the following week on RAW. Finally on the third RAW after Mania, you have Punk come out to address the fall out. This can lead to a new feud or it can start planting the seeds for their rematch at WrestleMania 30, probably both.

No matter what, if this was to happen it would always be remembered as the night Taker met Punk.

Size Doesn't Matter, Sizzle Does!

Kevin Nash once again has opened up the discussion that small wrestlers don't draw money. In an article for Grantland.com, Nash said that at WrestleMania 20 the crowning of Eddie Guerrero & Chris Benoit as champions is what destroyed the business. He claims that when wrestling went away from Monsters to normal sized competitors that the fans went away too.

Many have fired shots back at Big Sexy. Chris Jericho says it was Nash's run as WWE champion in 1995 that was the lowest drawing period in the WWE, and that he merely took a ride on Hall & Hogan's coattails in the NWO. Chavo Guerrero Sr, who knows a little about this sport called wrestling, laid into Nash claiming besides his size that he lacked any wrestling ability. Jim Ross even disagreed with Nash, but wasn't as vocal in his opposition.

The fact is that Kevin Nash is good at creating a buzz. It maybe his greatest talent. He's like that kid on the playground that just knows what buttons to push. He's a big guy, there are a lot of smaller wrestlers in today's environment, and the two guys he talked about aren't around anymore to defend themselves. Put all of it together, and it creates the perfect storm. In short, he hooked em.

Now no matter what side you're on you have gone to Grantland and read the article. You've read the small snipet that is creating all this craziness, but you've also read about his Hollywood projects. You've read about what Kevin Nash is upto now. You've made Kevin Nash a headline story on all the wrestling sites, and he hasn't stepped foot in the ring for one of the big 3 wrestling promotions. He's more talked about right now than Brock Lesnar, HBK, or HHH; the main players in the Summer Slam main event in 11 days. Kevin Nash without trying has out sizzled the WWE and TNA, both going into big pay per views.

Now I disagree with Kevin Nash. I don't believe size matters because even as far back as the 60's midgets have drawn money. What draws money is the bookers or writers being able to create storylines, matches, and moments for talents big & small that keep the fans opening their wallets.

Truly what has killed wrestling, especially in the WWE, is the lost art of true creative minds in the business. The head of creative for the largest promotion got her job because of her last name. The guy leading the writers in TNA is still living off his stroke of luck from the attitude era that he hasn't been able to recreate in nearly 15 years. Finally the brain trust in Ring of Honor continues to run it's promotion like it's the late 80's, which hasn't done much to move the needle.

All in all the talents and fans have evolved, the creative process has devolved. That kind of seperation between the major factors in pro wrestling is what kills business. When the writers and bookers stop believing they are smarter than the talent, start working with them instead of above them, then the money will come back.

The curtain has been pulled back on the mystery of wrestling, but the ability to tell a story hasn't. People still go to broadway even when they know the play isn't reality TV, the same can happen for Pro Wrestling. Bookers just need to stop booking for their own benefit and start doing it for the best interests of the talents and the fans. Stephanie, Russo, and Cornette need to evolve with the business instead of kicking and screaming to keep it the way they like it. Simply put they need to leave their comfort zone.

When the bookers/writers of wrestling take risks then they will break new ground. They will establish new places for the minds of fans and talents to go, which is all both sides are asking for. Fans want fresh storylines that don't look like the same recyled crap they have watched since Flair and Hogan. Talents wants new ways to get their characters over other than the cookie cutter ways that have been the standard since Nash was Oz.

People will say there is no new ground in pro wrestling. They will say that everything has been done. Those are the people who think the world of pro wrestling is flat. I am here to tell you it is round. If we sail our ships to the edge, we won't fall off, we'll just discover new territory. Money can be made with a seven footer or a midget. Money can be made with women or men. Money can be made with anyone. It's up to the creative minds to finally start doing their jobs and finding that money by discovering new ground in Pro Wrestling.

In this business it will never be about size, but about sizzle. The easiest way to get sizzle is to give people something they've never seen before. That will get people talking, which is what Kevin Nash has done. And they're only talking because there is nothing new to take Nash's place.

The WWE GM Problem

This Friday on Smackdown the new GM for the show will be announced by Vince McMahon. If you haven’t read a spoiler then I would stop reading this blog until Saturday morning. If you’re still reading then you know that it will be Booker T that becomes the Smackdown GM. Along with AJ Lee, the two make up the on screen upper management in the WWE. They are the people that stand between the unseen, and all powerful, WWE Board of Directors and the WWE Universe with the WWE talent caught in the crossfire.

The two replace Johnny Ace, who lost his GM powers a few weeks back. Ace was one in a long line of short lived GMs or Commissioners in the WWE. From the popular Mick Foley to the unpopular Vickie Guerrero, and the loathed Anonymous GM, the role of show boss has always been a mixed bag of tricks that gets the bums rush when creative gets bored. How many successful businesses do you know that switch bosses two or three times a year? The answer is none.

Be it hated or loved, the WWE Universe rarely has time to latch on to a GM. Just when we get comfortable with a personality they are removed in favor of the flavor of the month. AJ came out of nowhere and so now she is the RAW GM. That’ll probably be over before X-mas when Vince gets tired of her, and then who is next? The same can be said of Booker T, who could barely cut it as an announcer.

Recently the WWE has been doing something shocking. They have been planning ahead. They took a year to build up to The Rock vs. Cena. They have used a whole summer to build up to HHH vs. Brock. Now they are using the rest of the year to build toward the Rock challenging for the WWE championship. They need to start doing the same with their GMs. They need to plan for the long term, instead of who is hot right now.

This interchange of GMs every few months may be a quick way to produce some excitement for the audience, but well thought out storylines that utilize the GM can have an even bigger effect that is long lasting as part of the mythos of the GM’s character. Much in the same way that years later Stone Cold Steve Austin is known for not tapping out to Bret Hart, which led to adding depth to his character. This can happen for a GM that has long term interactions with the talent on screen instead of always being flushed away at the first sign of going stale. If going stale got you fired then Steve Austin would be doing the Ring Master gimmick on the indies right now.

When I look at Booker T, I see somebody that the WWE fans already know. He hasn’t changed much in years. He has the same corny lines and the spinaroonie. When those two things run their course by the end of the year, he will be out as GM. Then we’ll have to go through another for a few months until that one is run out of town.

AJ looks to be going down the same path. Only a few weeks ago she was one of the most interesting characters because she was different. She was going crazy. She wasn’t acting like a cookie cutter diva. Now in her first week as GM she shows up in a pant suit, and acts more like a contestant on the Apprentice than the off her rocker Queen of crazy that fans fell in love with. It would seem the only change her character has gone through was from unique to same old same old.

Until the WWE figures out a long term plan for one of their main roles, the overall product will suffer. The GM role is vital because it plays on so many platforms. It helps establish the show to the audience and explain parts to the viewers that a vignette or a match couldn’t. A GM gives a feud direction by being the outside force that can dictate matches, stipulations, and play the neutral ground (or in heel GM cases, not so neutral ground). The GM also can help creative explain certain jumps in logic like why one person is now doing something, why a talent is not on a show, or why a certain match is set up. These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the roles that a GM plays on the show.

With the two new GMs in place hopefully planning long term will become a staple for both AJ and Booker. Hopefully their characters will grow and change into something more than the usual GM that becomes stale and then becomes replaced. When the WWE establishes a GM with tenure then the audience can establish the emotions to either love or hate that character not because of what they are doing, but because of what they have done.

That kind of love or hate runs deep and is more effective at drawing in the fans than the hotshotting of a character, which may give instant success, but never lasting effects. Keeping fans for decades should be the purpose of storylines, because they’ll produce future fans. Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair get pops twenty years after their prime because their characters became loved and hated at a visceral level.

The turnstile hiring and firing of GMs won’t even run skin deep with fans, who will brush them off like dust on a shoulder. This seems to be a lesson that WWE creative has yet to learn with all their characters, but mostly their GMs. Then again if learning from past mistakes was a WWE strong suit then we wouldn’t have seen Mae Young’s son last week. That’s a whole different kind of hate from the past.

Who Needs To Win At RAW 1000?

(Courtesy of the WWE)

When Monday Night RAW went off the air this week, the main event for the 1000^th episode was set. It is going to be CM Punk vs. John Cena for the WWE Title as Cena cashed in his Money in the Bank contract. As RAW goes to three hours this match will usher in the new era of WWE raising the question, who’s going to walk out of St. Louis with the thirty pounds of gold around their waist? A case can be made for both men winning, but the WWE needs only one man to win, CM Punk.

John Cena has done pretty much everything in the WWE, aside from selling hot dogs & sodas at live events. He is a decorated champion. He has main evented every major pay per view. He has wrestled the biggest matches against a slew of dream opponents. He has made movies. He has released music albums. He even got to hit his boss with a chair for a national television commercial. John Cena is a made-man in professional wrestling. He truly never has to worry about returning to the Indies unless he wants to, much like Hulk Hogan, Sting, or Shawn Michaels. Yet with all his talents he doesn’t possess the rare talent that CM Punk has, he doesn’t make stars.

With all of John Cena’s accomplishments how many stars has he made in and out of the ring? If you’re going to say Randy Orton or Edge, then I will respond with this: Did he make them, or did they make John Cena? Randy Orton found his legs with HHH and evolution. Edge was a star before John Cena walked in the building. It would appear that Cena’s star was only made brighter by these two men. For as charismatic and talented as John Cena is, he is more Hogan than Flair in that after a feud only one man comes out the better, and that man is John Cena. In that same vein, CM Punk is more Flair than Hogan.

In the 1980’s when the territories where still alive and well, Ric Flair was the NWA champion. One of the key parts to being the NWA champion was coming to a town once a year and wrestling the area’s top guy. That guy wasn’t going to beat Flair, but the nature boy made everybody believe that their local hero was a hair away from walking out of the building with the strap. When Ric Flair walked out he didn’t leave a beaten opponent, but a guy who was elevated in the eyes of the local fans. The same fans who would pay money to see their hero each and every week, even without Ric Flair at the events. Ric Flair as NWA champion helped sell tickets for all the smaller promotions by making stars that would be there when he wasn’t. That is the same rare talent that CM Punk brings to the table that John Cena doesn’t, and Hulk Hogan never had.

This talent has been on display for the past few months as CM Punk has consistently delivered top quality matches for the WWE at every spot on the card against each and every opponent. He has stolen the show as the first match, and sent fans home in a tizzy when he is the main event. He has righted the ship at the 10 PM hour, and kept fans glued when RAW runs over at 11 PM. It doesn’t matter when he wrestles, it will always be a must see match. It doesn’t even matter who the opponent is.

His recent matches with Kane have restarted the career of the Big Red Machine. The fan reaction to Kane has tempered over the past few years, but in one month of being inserted in a program with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan the monster Kane has catapulted back to the popularity of the attitude era. In Daniel Bryan, CM Punk has found his Ricky Steamboat. That being the one man that on any given night in any given match he can have a true classic showing at the drop of a hat.  

The two have wrestled off and on for the better part of three months and yet the fans salivate to see them hook up each and every time. In the ring they provide something that the WWE audience hasn’t seen in decades: Two men with the ability to make their opponent better than they ought to be. When put together against each other that means the ability to create matches and moments that have no limits.

As the WWE prepares to reign in a new era with a slew of gifted young talents waiting in the wings such as Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and the new breed of FCW, the WWE needs a man like CM Punk to be champion to help make the stars of the future. They need a champion who can beat Seth Rollins or Dean Ambrose, yet still make them bigger stars in the process. They need a Daniel Bryan to be the man who works with CM Punk to prepare the talents for the next 15 years in the WWE. Bryan elevates Rollins and Ambrose to face Punk, and Punk sends them to the heavens to join the stars that the WWE Universe idolize.

Aside from building new talent and reestablishing former stars, CM Punk brings another advantage to being the WWE champion: Dream Matches. John Cena faced The Rock at Wrestlemania in a match it took a year to build. He backed that up with a dream match against Brock Lesnar. He has faced HHH, Jericho, and almost every legend aside from Stone Cold Steve Austin. In CM Punk there is a slew of dream matches including the Rock and Brock, plus HBK & Stone Cold. In between building the future, Punk as champion can elevate the title with defenses against the stars of the past without tarnishing their legacy because of his ability to have a good match with a broom. That includes the Undertaker at Wrestlemania where a title vs. streak match could be bigger than Rock vs. Cena.

When RAW 1000 is over there will be one thing for sure, a good match between CM Punk and John Cena. Yet the WWE needs one man to walk out as champion. No matter what happens John Cena will sell the same amount of shirts, tickets, and bring in the same viewers. It is CM Punk who will build the next John Cena, or even better, the next CM Punk. The WWE needs that more than squeezing the last drops of blood from the stone known as Cenation. That well is almost dry, while Punk’s is endless.

TNA Impact Wrestling: Rollercoaster Wrasslin’

TNA has been up and down lately; usually in the same episode. Last night was a step in the right direction. The go home show before Destination X put the finishing touches on what should be an entertaining Pay Per View. Also having a current Ring of Honor champion wrestle on the show created a buzz on the internet, and creating a buzz is never a bad thing. It wasn’t all peaches and cream as there were some road bumps, but compared to last week this was a step up.

The best part of the night: there was no Boobs Hogan. The Hulkster’s spawn didn’t make it on TV this week, and that made the episode better. Absence makes the heart grow fonder … of not having her on my TV. Not to say the Knockouts didn’t have their own dumbass moments.

Madison Rayne has been swooning over a mystery man for weeks. This week we found out the payoff for this storyline was elderly referee Earl Hebner. The man who screwed Brett, is now the man who wants to screw Madison. Angles involving refs are moronic, especially ones with this much build. How does this help build characters? Where does it really go from here? Does it help bring in ratings watching grandpa make out with a fake beauty queen? It is wasted television time, and wasted talent. Let your refs call the matches, and let your wrestlers handle the stories. They missed a golden opportunity to elevate two male talents using Madison Rayne as the middle piece of a twisted love triangle.

Here let me book this on the fly for you. Madison falls for guy X, then guy Y thinks it should be him who she goes for. Guy X isn’t as into Madison as Guy Y, but being hard to get makes Madison want Guy X more, which pisses off Guy Y. Guy X and Guy Y fight. Madison, being an egomaniac, loves the attention. Eventually Guy X falls for Madison and defeats Guy Y, leaving the door open for a variety of angles such as Madison not wanting Guy X anymore in favor of Guy Y, Madison screwing both of them over by debuting Guy Z, Madison celebrating that Guy X loves her back, etc. Now we just have Madison & one half of the grumpy old men. This is a prime example of why TNA falls on their face.

Another head scratch moment was when Gail Kim used her lawyers to get her out of a Knockouts Title match this week, and she’s not the champion. So she doesn’t want to wrestle for the title? Who waits a week for their shot at the strap? And why make it next Thursday and not this Sunday at the PPV? The tag match between the Knockouts was good for what it was. They kept Gail and Tessmacher apart during the finish to protect their future match up. I still don’t see why Gail Kim gave up a title shot, especially against somebody like Brooke Tessmacher, who isn’t exactly the most threatening champion in the world.

Speaking of Lawyers, I really dig Joseph Park. Having met Abyss when TNA was running the Nashville fairgrounds on Wednesday nights, it really is cool to see him evolve as an all-around worker. Plus I think Bully Ray is the bee’s knees. His persona, mic work, and physical style make him an asset to the company. Nothing against the two, but I hope this feud ends soon so Bully can make his way into the main event picture against somebody like an Austin Aries. He is that damn good.

The restraining order came off a little low rent. Who goes to jail for life for violating a restraining order? I don’t mind the use of the restraining order to keep “Abyss” out of the match, but put some reality into it. It’s a minor hiccup, and as good as these two are, it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

What does matter in the grand scheme of things is the wrestling. Devon and Crimson had a good match, but it seemed really rushed. It felt like an enhancement match more than a TV title match. Also why does Crimson get a title match when he lost at the last PPV to James Storm? Then again he was undefeated for 18 months so one loss shouldn’t drop you to the bottom of the basement.

Storm vs. Hardy was a really good match that had the crowd going nuts. I can’t deny that both are over like Grover with the fans. I still can’t stand the Bound for Glory series. I have said that it is over booked wrestling, but it does give good matchups every week. Who knows it might actually grow on me, until I am forced to do math, then I will hate it again.

The X-division tournament was two totally different matches. Flip Cassanova & Dumbshit Darsow should never come back to TNA. That was the sloppiest spot fest I have seen since that movie the backyard. Darsow is lucky he only walked away with a broken nose. Flip has a good look but he is dangerous in the ring. He will hurt somebody in a real bad way if he keeps wrestling like that. Just awful stuff.

On the other hand Kenny King delivered on all fronts. In the ring he looked crisp, and light years ahead of the three other x-division workers tonight. Add in the fact that he is one half of the current Ring of Honor tag team champions, and his debut had tons of sizzle. He got to cut a promo after, plus a backstage segment. I’m not a betting man, but I think KK will be in the Ultimate X match finals on Sunday. Hell, I think he is my pick to win it all.

King appearing on the show and the PPV this Sunday won’t help the rumors going around the internet that Ring of Honor is going out of business. Mark Madden, former WCW announcer, has been leading the charge that RoH is on their last leg. The promotion just cancelled a whole run of shows in the Carolinas. Now one of their champions appears on the competitors show only weeks after winning the belt. No matter the truth, this is a dark time for Ring of Honor.

The darkest time is what has happened to AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels … I can’t even talk about this. Pregnancy angles never work in wrestling. Mae Young giving birth to a hand thinks this storyline is stupid. The only excuse for this is if later it comes out the whole storyline was written by a mentally handicapped child as part of a make-a-wish, but that can’t be it because even the mentally handicapped community thinks this angle is retarded.

The exact opposite of Styles & Daniels is the world title match at Destination X. Robert Roode and Austin Aries is going to be so good. They have done a great job of building to this match. Roode abusing Sabin, and kicking a cripple cemented him as king asshole in TNA. It also allowed for Aries to get the upper hand at the end of the show, and not make it feel like AA was dominating the night. The two have been booked to seem neck & neck, which makes Sunday a toss-up. That helps a buy rate, which is the reason TNA is in business.

The shot of Aries and Hogan at the end with both titles raised high is a great closing moment. Hulk Hogan has really embraced this back seat role. It looks like it may not last with the playing cards & sting’s attackers beginning soon. I hope Hogan realizes less is more in the coming weeks. 10 minutes of the Hulkster is good, and 40 minutes of Hulk is bad.

Impact Wrestling was an entertaining show this week with ups and downs like a rollercoaster. In the end I almost a puked a few times, but when it was done I was glad I went along for the ride.

One Wild Week

Talk about a crazy week. When last we ranted Ring of Honor was coming off a great iPPV and Monday Night RAW was ramping up. Then the rollercoaster began. I moved this week from my shoe box apartment to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Ok, a nice townhouse in the burbs, but still feeling like George Jefferson. That meant I lost my internet for the week because I had to switch providers. Hoping Xfinity is as a good as Cox, which shouldn’t be hard because Cox sucked.

Then when I got my Internet on Friday, the worst storm outside of a hurricane in Virginia’s history came busting through the state like Shockmaster goes through a brick wall. In short, it was a big disaster. We lost power until the end of the weekend. Now it looks like things are back to normal. Just in time for a new Monday Night Raw tonight.

Instead of writing a ton about old news, I figured I would do a week in review to get everyone caught up in the wacky world of wrasslin’. Monday Night Raw was one of the best episodes in months. TNA again goes up and down with great moves and boneheaded decisions. Plus the spirit of ECW won’t die.

First, Vickie Guerrero should be the GM of RAW and Smackdown after her showing last week. I missed Smackdown due to the storm, but RAW was hands down one of the best episodes in months. The beginning talk was limited to five minutes, and the opening three way dance was off the charts good. Again if CM Punk and Daniel Bryan wrestled for all three hours every week, the WWE couldn’t go wrong. They are hands down the two best talents in professional wrestling today. There is nobody who is even in their league. Then Austin Aries right behind them.

No better example of this is Kane. Do you remember the last time Kane looked this good? How about never! I think you could put the Great Khali in a feud with Bryan & Punk, and he would look like a stud. That’s literally possessing the ability to have a great match with a broom.

The match set the whole tone for the show, and it seemed like the rest of the talents felt the need to step things up. When Ziggler turns face, I really hope Albert Del Rio is in his future. The two could have some great mid-card matches that would add to any pay per view. The hot potato gimmick at the end of their match was a little bit of stretch, but they made it work.

Sheamus being excited about defending his belt in a triple threat is a little stupid. Who gets excited about defending a title in a match where you can lose your belt without being beaten? I guess ginger the moron ghost does. Then again he probably saw the booking sheet, and realized no champion gets beat on a taped show.

Even John Cena’s promo was good. I’m a Star Wars geek, and Cena had me cracking up. I might be biased, but his Yoda was sweet. It was a good moment to showcase the WWE title contract ladder match for Money In The Bank, which is making the PPV tip towards the “buy list”.

At the end of the day Monday Night Raw had good matches, some storyline advancements, and set up the pay per view with interesting tid bits. It did everything a free wrestling television show is supposed to do.

Bryan pinned Punk, so now we have them wrestling for the title at the PPV. It makes sense, and on Smackdown we found out AJ will be the ref. That makes even more sense. The former WWE champs compete in the ladder match, and that gives viewers an All Star cast who don’t usually wrestle in these danger matches. Plus I wouldn’t be surprised for a Rey Mysterio inclusion this week. Finally new talent is getting highlighted with the World title ladder match. Yup this was a good week for the WWE.

On the other hand TNA continued its rocky boat ride. The Gut Check segment last week was a highlight, but having Taeler Hendrix win this week ruined it all. Her showing was subpar at best. Her look isn’t that good. It just screamed, “This is a huge work”. She didn’t cut the mustard, yet TNA gave her a contract. It just took a giant dump on the whole angle. These judges were worse than the blind mice scoring the Bradley vs. Pacquiao fight. It ruined an entire angle that I will have a hard time taking serious in the future.

On the bright side the X-division tournament is a great idea. Using current TNA wrestlers and outside talent is another awesome way to show all the promising young talent on the indie circuit. There is potential for unique matches that bring a new perspective to the X-division. This has me excited to see the Destination X PPV that already has promise with Austin Aries & Robert Roode.

The Bound for Glory series is still going on. It’s still over complicated. It still makes no sense. Does the booking committee get ten points for making me tap out and change the channel when they start talking about the ins and outs of this convoluted brain child? If so then they’re on their way to 100, and quick.

Oh and Boobs Hogan had more camera time. Anyone else notice her face is what Hulk Hogan would like if he wasn’t going bald? Yeah that’s what I found out when I put it on mute. Poor Knockouts have to pretend they care what she has to say. No wonder Angelina Love left the company.

I refuse to talk about the AJ and Dixie segments. That’s talent abuse. AJ needs to be in one of those Sarah Mclachlan SPCA commercials after this whole angle is done. Just show his face in black and white with a sad song in the background. Then we can donate money so TNA never does this again.

TNA needs to figure out a lot before they commit too much to going down the over booked bad segment trail. This week’s episode was not going in the right direction. Just like Extreme Rising.

For those that don’t follow the indie scene, then you might not know about the ECW bastard child known as Exteme Rising. It is a cash grab by Shane Douglas to squeeze what is left out of the beaten corpse of ECW. After the first show that ended up being a trainwreck, they had round two over the weekend. It was two shows in New York City and Philly.

The concept is to take old ECW stars and mix them with new stars. This weekend was a positive start in rebuilding from the flaming crap storm that was their initial show. Yet this need to somehow associate the promotion with ECW only hamstrings how the shows will be seen. It will always be compared to ECW, and that won’t help the promotion. ECW was not as amazing as people remember, because like when people die, nobody remembers how big a douche bag they really were, but only the good moments. The same can be said for ECW.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved ECW. It was one of the reasons I got into wrestling. Yet people today seem to forget that ECW had its bumps. It had its failings. Anyone remember their deal with TNT? Yet now it is thought of as this promotion that did no wrong, and having Extreme Rising live in that shadow is going to make fans hold this new promotion to an unreachable standard.

I think that covers the week that was. I’m looking forward to RAW tonight, but history doesn’t look favorable as pre-holiday shows usually tread water instead of advancing storylines. Then again Punk & Bryan will deliver, and Jericho is back. Plus we should get some Ziggler love. All that is a good base for a quality RAW, and that is all I can ask for. That and AJ Styles getting traded to the WWE for Tensai. That should be part of the lawsuit settlement between TNA and the WWE.

TNA's Impact Wrestling: A Mixed Bag Of Nuts

(Courtesy of TNA)

It’s a rough day today at Grass Roots of Wrestling. It’s no secret that I’m a huge Oklahoma City Thunder fan. I have been since they were known as the Seattle Supersonics. Last night the young Thunder got knocked out of the NBA finals by the NBA’s version of the Mega Bucks. It was a great season for the Thunder, and I look forward to seeing what they do with the 28^th pick in the NBA Draft. This is the deepest draft in a decade.

I’m hoping All American Draymond Green from Michigan State University, who is a jack of all trades type of player, is available at the end of the first round. For a team not looking to shake up the first 8 players in their rotation, Green would fit well as the 9^th man on the bench because of his ability to bring a variety of basketball options to the team including passing, rebounding, and an extremely high basketball IQ. With a team that’s core group of players is around 23 years old collectively, I know the Oklahoma City Thunder are going to be a force in the years to come. This isn’t the end, just the beginning.

After the game I settled in to watch TNA’s Impact Wrestling on the DVR. I will have to admit I haven’t watched much TNA over the past year because every time I do I usually end up regretting what I am seeing. I think the frustrating part about TNA is that they have some of the most talented wrestlers in the business, but usually the promotion ends up dropping the ball with the misuse of talent, diluted storylines with too many twists as if the writers are trying to prove they’re smarter than the fans, or they try too hard to be a wrestling show pretending to be a reality show. You’re not the WWE, you’re Total Non-Stop Action. Highlight your athletic roster and stop trying to be another show on VH1.

Last night was another mixed bag of nuts on Impact Wrestling. First off, Austin Aries should be called “The Mint” because he prints money. His look, his mic skills, and his persona are better than almost anything in pro wrestling today. Then add in the fact he is one of the top five wrestlers walking the planet today, and you have a true bona fide star. I loved the opening segment because it helped elevate the X-division, it showed AA isn’t a moron because who turns down a shot at the world title, and it was a good use of Hulk Hogan to help get a star over instead of himself. Robert Roode vs. Austin Aries will probably be the best wrestling match on PPV in July for any company, WWE included.

The decision to make it that every year the X-division champion can trade the title for a world title shot at Destination X is a really good idea. The title already had importance, but now it will have more importance around TNA’s biggest time of the year, Slammiversary. If you are the X-champ after that PPV then you are guaranteed a title shot at the next PPV. It just adds more heat to any title bout. A big thumbs-up to TNA on elevating one of their second tier belts, unlike what the WWE has done with theirs. Who’s the US champ, and does anyone care?

The Bound for Glory series is another over thinker moment in TNA. I didn’t like it last year, and I don’t like it again this year. I guess it is for the stat nerds. If this happens then this can happen, blah blah blah. Why is a submission victory more important that a pinfall? Kurt Angle gets an Ankle Lock & its 10 points. Jeff Hardy nearly cripples RVD with a KO neck snapping twist of fate & its 7 points. It doesn’t make sense.

Also having Robbie E in the series makes no sense at all either. Crimson has lost one match in his TNA career and he is somehow out of it. What about Sting? He was in the Slammiversary main event a couple weeks back & now he can’t get into the Bound for Glory series. Yet Robbie E is out there getting torn apart by Kurt Angle. Also the Pope has been out for a bit, and he returns to a spot in the series. Maybe I missed something, but shouldn’t the guys who have been on TV be in the series, not a Jersey Shore midcarder & a dude straight off the shelf. Plus why do I care about Magnus? He’s an ok talent, but what about Kazarian? AJ & Angle are in the tournament, why not Daniels’ partner?

This Bound for Glory Series is another over thought angle that has too many holes in its logic. The six matches were ok, but nothing to write home about. The ten minute time limit puts restrictions on the talents to tell a story. There is just so much you can do in 6-8 minutes. How is this going to play on PPV, where 15-20 minute matches can do more to flesh out the feuds & characters? Until I see something special from this idea, it will continue to be a failure by TNA & a waste of talent.

Another waste of my time is Dixie Carter. I was lucky enough to marry a beautiful Indian woman. Her Grandma came to America from India years ago. When I hang out with Nani, we watch Indian soap operas on Zee TV. It’s how I am learning to speak Hindi. Anytime Dixie Carter is on my TV it looks like an Indian soap opera. She is over the top emotional for everything. On top of that she somehow sucks three of the best talents (AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and Frankie Kazarian) into her web of soap opera suck.

The current storyline is that somehow Dixie & AJ are doing unspeakable deeds behind closed doors as Daniels & Kaz would have us all believe. Yet it isn’t that they are committing adultery, but helping a pregnant addict that they both know somehow. Are you kidding me? I hate when they bring addiction & this type of stuff into wrestling. So for the past few weeks AJ has been protecting the secret of an addict and letting his & Dixie’s names be dragged through the mud, including letting talents call them home wreckers. Now we just need an evil auntie with an oversized bindi, and this would be classic Indian soap opera.

There are too many non-wrestling, non-manager characters on the TNA roster. Hogan is the GM, Dixie is the owner, and Brooke Hogan is the Knockout Commish. Is Nick Hogan going to be the food & beverage manager next?

What does Brooke Hogan bring to the table? Just because Ivanka Trump is on the apprentice doesn’t mean Hulk’s kid has to be in TNA. The group meeting in multiple segments was a waste of time. A title match is on the line and everybody is just chillin’ like it’s a slumber party, catty comments & all. The Knockouts are leaps & bounds better in the ring than the WWE Divas, but their segments behind the scenes are just the pits.

“Let’s pow wow for a bit girls so I can get to know you”, hey Brooke how about you watch the product before you take the job! How does anyone get a job running a division in any business & have no idea about what makes up the division? If Brooke’s work was her boyfriend, it would cheat on her for being this horrible. The capper was having Velvet Sky & Mickie James together backstage as she made her decision, and there wasn’t much of a fight from Sky when Brooke picked James. She just hugs Mickie. I guess that title isn’t that important.

One Segment that is really original is the TNA Gut Check. The idea is great & it lets the audience see some of the amazing talent on the independent circuit. Each time Gut Check comes around I will tune in because I want to see fresh faces, and this is a perfect way to do it without taking away from your established talent. It makes the crowd care about somebody who will probably job out to an established talent.

Taeler Hendrix, this week’s Gut Checker, had a nice piece on her. Giving her a backstory like being a cancer survivor, and showing footage from some of her indie matches, helps develop why the fans should care about her. In the ring she was ok. She didn’t screw anything up, but there wasn’t any moment that popped out that made me want to see her again. Her look doesn’t set her apart from the other knockouts, and the way she took Tara’s finisher didn’t do much to help elevate the established veteran. I would be shocked if Ms. Hendrix survives her Gut Check. Good try, but better luck next time.

Bully Ray is another bright spot for the company. The former Dudley is probably the best heel in the company. On the mic he can get the crowd to riot. In the ring he is so physical. I hope he can get out of this Abyss feud soon, and move on to the title picture, especially if AA wins at Destination X. An undersized champ and a brutish bully, it writes itself. More Bully Ray, More Austin Aries, Less Boobs Hogan; That’s a recipe for success.

Again TNA’s Impact Wrestling was another episode of highs and lows. As one segment would make you want to keep watching, there was equally another segment that made you want to change the channel. The matches didn’t really move the needle as most looked to be more angle driven than anything. Again the 10 minute time limit forces too many matches to have the out of nowhere finish feeling. It is handcuffing TNAs ability to set themselves apart from the WWE, where the 6-8 minute match is their bread & butter.

This show, and the promotion overall, is a big mixed bag of nuts, which probably explains why they drive me crazy. Cut the crap, stop trying to be a full contact soap opera, and start being the action packed promotion you can be. I like the way Hulk Hogan is used. I like a lot of the wrestlers. The Knockouts can wrestle. Just stop trying to be a reality show with situational drama & out of the box concepts that water down the actual product. I don’t care about the backstage meetings & hug fests going on. Make me believe these people want to tear each other apart in & out of the ring. This is Pro Wrestling, not a Boy Scout camping trip. Less weenie roasting, and more action! There are too many lulls for this to be called Non-stop.