Armchair Booker: When Taker Met Punk

Earlier this week I talked about the state of the WWE creative team and how Vince McMahon is fed up with the current direction of the WWE writers. I laid out a loose plan for how to fix what is broken. My keystone idea being that the WrestleMania 29 main event should be the Undertaker vs. CM Punk for the WWE title in a streak vs. streak match. With that in mind you can book the rest of your year to build toward that pinnacle point. I said I would go deeper into this idea, and share some of my booking beliefs that I used in starting two different regional wrestling television shows, both highly rated in their timeslots, and a series of nationally distributed DVDs. Let’s dive in.

CM Punk is the hottest talent on the WWE roster today. John Cena is the most established. There is a difference. Cena has a very loyal fan base, but CM Punk has a constantly expanding fan base. Not all of these people are supporters of Punk, but more people are putting eyes on Punk than Cena these days. Even the high brass at Comic Con said that Punk was a better draw for them this year than Cena had been in the past. Be it to cheer for him, or to watch him get beat up, more people are opening their wallets to see CM Punk. That is why he is the WWE champion, and that is why he needs to be at the top of the WrestleMania 29 bill.

The Undertaker is the hottest talent in WWE history. He can stay away from the WWE for months, and with a toll of his bell, the fans are rabid to see him walk the aisle. He might be the greatest persona in pro wrestling history, dating back to the original carnival days. His undefeated streak at WrestleMania makes him a top draw each year. People want to see what is going to happen next, and at 20+ years, they don’t know which match is his last. This built in hype, and near god-like status, makes the Undertaker a necessity for the main event at WrestleMania 29. He’s a draw by just walking out the curtain, and that’s a great foundation to build on.

The two also have a small history. It’s only a few minutes on the CM Punk “Best in the World” DVD, but it was Undertaker vs. Punk for the world title after Summer Slam that cemented the disrespect the WWE brain trust had for Punk. They took a hot talent coming out of a sizzling feud, and fed him to the phenom. On the DVD they state that Taker had no respect for Punk going into their program, but over time that changed. It’s a great starting point given the current “No Respect” card being played by CM Punk. The standard bearer of the WWE is the only man left standing in the way of CM Punk getting the respect he believes that he deserves. The kind of respect that can’t be denied after beating the Undertaker at WrestleMania.

This is one of the many drawing factors for this match. There is the streak vs. streak dynamic. The Undertaker is 20-0. That is something in the current WWE that will never happen again. To get a talent that stays with the WWE for over two decades, and a creative team that handles that talent correctly the entire time, you’d have a higher success rate betting on Tammy Sytch staying out of prison. This will never happen again. Never. The uniqueness of the situation is another draw in itself. It’s like watching a comet that flies by the earth every millennium. It will never happen again during our life time. Things like this make money in any medium.

CM Punk is also doing something that will never happen again. He’s closing in on one year as WWE champion. That is something that doesn’t happen in the era of fans that have a train of thought only 140 characters long. By WrestleMania 29, he’ll be closing in on 18 months. It’s another unheard of situation that on its own draws people in. There will be fans who tune in because they don’t know when and if CM Punk is going to end the longest title reign since Hulk Hogan’s 1474 days between 1984-88. That’s before The Undertaker was lacing up his boots as “Mean” Mark Callous in WCW (1989). It’s a big deal.

As I stated earlier this week, it creates an unstoppable force vs. immovable object type of situation. Fans will tune in because they know something historic is going to happen. Neither looks to be giving ground, but one has to end. The mystery of the unknown has always been the best way to attract fans in pro wrestling, even more now in the “know-it-all” era. Add this dynamic to the draw both CM Punk and The Undertaker on their own have, and this angle has the steam to drive WrestleMania sales to record levels.

Just because you have the angle doesn’t mean you’re going to be a success.  Two things have to happen. The build to the match has to be good and the match has to deliver. You can’t promise prime rib, and give the fans tube steak.

The build on this match needs to be drawn out from the first RAW after the Royal Rumble up to WrestleMania 29. The Rock and Punk are fighting at the Rumble. No need to play the Undertaker card until after that takes place. Rock vs. Punk is going to be a good draw on its own, and will play an important role in setting the table for Mania. This is the match that is supposed to get Punk his respect. Beating the Rock is going to change everything for him. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

Punk beats Rock, but it doesn’t fill the hole in his ego. There isn’t a red carpet when he walks through the arena door. The locker room isn’t kissing his feet as he strolls through the back. Vince McMahon isn’t his personal ball washer. What does CM Punk have to do?

Cue the Undertaker.

Each year the Royal Rumble winner selects which title he is going to challenge for. Usually the winner comes out at the end of RAW and him haws between the World title and the WWE title. Whomever the winner is plays up the crowd, tilting to both sides, until eventually narrowing in on one champion. I would start with this.

The winner comes out and before he can start the Undertaker interrupts. He comes down and lays out that it doesn’t matter who he wants to pick. This year the Rumble winner will be facing the World champion because the Undertaker wants CM Punk and the WWE title. If you’ve got a baby face winner then he does the noble thing, tips his hat to the Taker, and leaves the ring. If you’ve got a heel winner, then he gets tossed out on his ass, and runs to the back with tail between legs. It gets established early than the Undertaker has that kind of clout and aura to bend things to his will. He’s the true King shit in the WWE universe.

Cue CM Punk.

The two meet in the ring. Punk talks respect. Taker lets him know respect is only earned by going to hell and back. They jab at each other for a few minutes. Finally a deal is made with the devil, only hang up is which guy is the Devil? The stakes are high for both, and the buzz begins.

Now you’ve got roughly 9 weeks to build this match up. The Undertaker stays protected. He’ll make appearances here and there for a promo or a vignette, but he isn’t wrestling. You save that for Mania. Punk can carry this feud on TV. He’ll even prove he’s better than the Undertaker by beating those victims of “The Streak”.

The next few weeks on RAW, a former WrestleMania opponent of the Undertaker gets rolled out to be taken down by CM Punk. Do the low hanging fruit first with the older legends like Snuka, Jake Roberts, or Sid that the WWE can send out for a cheap one night pop. Then move into the active roster opponents by having him face all the old opponents in an elimination chamber. That would be Kane, Orton, Tensai, Mark Henry, and Big Show. When Punk comes out champion, he can claim he beat five of Takers “victims” in one night. It also fills the required need for an Elimination Chamber match before Mania.

Finally the homestretch leading up to Mania is Punk being confronted by HHH, HBK, Nash, and Flair. He can run all four men down. He can talk about doing what they couldn’t. He has held the WWE title longer than any of them. Now he’s going to end the streak that claimed their careers. Its four weeks of dueling promos that should help build up the intensity of this match. The last two weeks then are spent drawing both the Undertaker and CM Punk into a collision course, with the closing moments being a face to face showdown filled with pipe bombs and near blows. They shouldn’t physically get involved, just tease it. Both men need to leave the ring with their head held high exuding the confidence that come Sunday they’ll have their hand raised.

The actual match is where the true magic and shock happens. First I would start the match entrances at 9:30 PM. The earlier start will have the smart fans wondering what is going on. They’ll believe that there is something big coming. It’s just too early to begin the main event.

The two will then wrestle for sixty minutes. It’s the kind of match the current WWE audience has never seen. Punk, if you’ve followed his career, is a master at the sixty minute match. He understands the pacing and how to protect somebody like the Undertaker, whose age can limit him. For an entire hour the two go to war. They pull out all the stops with false finishes, brawls outside the ring, etc. Then the bell rings to signify that time has expired. The match is a draw. Punk keeps his title, and The Undertaker is still undefeated. The fight doesn’t stop though.

As the bell rings they keep trading blows. The ref tries to pull them apart, and he’s laid out. They continue to fight all over the place because to them only one man is walking out tonight. More officials and security try to stop it, and they’re laid out too. For a good ten minutes Taker and Punk either fight each other or those trying to get between them. Finally the two fight on to the main stage trading big blow after big blow. Each man trying to finish the other with one big shot, their bodies broken and bloody. Then in the end, on their knees, they trade fists, chops, and head-butts. Finally, leaning on each other tossing noodle fists with both gas tanks empty, Taker and Punk collapse next to each other laid out on the main stage.

As WrestleMania ends officials, paramedics, and staff surround the two as double stretchers are wheeled out. Both men being checked on and eventually wheeled out as Punk holds a thumbs up in the air. He didn’t beat the Undertaker at WrestleMania, but he did something nobody has ever done. He survived him.

People will tune in the next night. Sure there will be fans that don’t like a draw finish, but it’s the one thing the WWE can do to protect the Taker’s streak, and pass the torch to the next generation before it is too late. It’s something nobody will see coming, and a moment that will cement the legacy of both men like what happened for Hogan and Andre at WM3.

You keep both men off RAW the next night to sell the brutality. The next week you promote the appearance of Punk the following week on RAW. Finally on the third RAW after Mania, you have Punk come out to address the fall out. This can lead to a new feud or it can start planting the seeds for their rematch at WrestleMania 30, probably both.

No matter what, if this was to happen it would always be remembered as the night Taker met Punk.

Monday Night RAW: I'm A Paul Heyman Guy

I want to start off by wishing Jerry “The King” Lawler a speedy recovery from his heart attack. I still remember when I was 19 and I got the call that my dad had been rushed to the hospital for an emergency quadruple bypass.  It’s a long road to full recovery, but if anyone can win this fight it is the king.

Also I want to recognize all those who lost their lives, or their loved ones, on this day eleven years ago when a group of religious zealots acted like cowards by flying two planes into the towers, another into the pentagon, and brave Americans made sure a fourth never made it to its destination. I woke up that morning late for class at college. I rushed to get there without knowing what had happened. I got to class and I was the only person there. This was before smart phones and Facebook. I waited for a half hour for people to show up but nobody did. So I walked out of class and noticed nobody was on campus. I poked my head into the lounge and saw a large group crowded around the TV. That’s when I learned about the attacks.

I later that day got a job delivering pizzas. I dropped out of college, and got back into pro wrestling. I decided that college could wait because I had a dream to be a wrestler, and 9/11 proved to me that at any moment your time to live your dreams can be taken away. I spent five years chasing my dream, making tons of great memories, and then I went back to college to achieve new dreams. To me 9/11 will always be the day my eyes got opened to the reality that the time we have on this planet is shrinking by the moment.

Now on to the lighter side of life: Monday Night RAW. Normally I would break down all the different parts of RAW but really this was the CM Punk show. There was some stuff that quickly developed a few undercard matches for Night of Champions this Sunday, but really this PPV is a one match show.

I am a fan of Daniel Bryan and Kane being a tag team. I like that they are doing the reluctant partners storyline. I have a feeling they become tag champions this Sunday. For a division that has been left to drift, this could be a blessing. I also like them using the choke slam/cannonball as a finisher. Imagine when they come together as team and Bryan runs in asking to be choke slammed. The crowd will pop. Hell, imagine a top rope choke slam bomb by Kane & Bryan. It will be awesome.

Then there was the stupid Sheamus/ADR storyline. Why is a kick banned? It’s a kick. They have dropped the ball on this one. Also the two GMs are stupid. I hope the rumors that they are both getting fired is true. They need to get that whole situation fixed, and quick. Finally Cody looks to be facing Miz for the IC title. Talk about tossing something together quick.

Yeah there is more that happened on RAW but none of it really mattered. It was place holder stuff. Hell I think CM Punk took up almost 40% of RAW last night. He was the opening promo, he was the whole 9 o’clock hour, and he was the show closing promo. Let’s break all of that down.

The opening promo was good. Punk has gone full blown egomaniac. I like that he talks about how if he was the champ back in 97 that he would have sunk the WWE and jumped ship to WCW. Too bad the attitude era wasn’t started in Montreal. Most would say it began when WCW had the NWO and it forced the WWE to go away from campy character wrestling.  So Punk would have just been another part of that need to go extreme. He should just ask Paul Heyman about why ECW was brought in for a few RAWs. Overall the opening segment was good, and did what it needed to set the table for the end of the show.

The 9 o’clock hour was a decent match between Punk and Orton, then an angle tag match between Orton/Lawler & Ziggler/Punk. I love how they are handling the Punk and Heyman “alliance”. Nobody knows why they are together. All we know is that Punk is a Heyman guy. We also know that Brock hates Cena because he lost to him a few months back.

Finally it seems that Punk is going to be champ going into the Royal Rumble. There is a Survivor Series PPV between now and then. Imagine an old school Survivor Series match with Punk & Brock on one team and Cena & Rock on the other; then maybe toss in 6 others talents. I suggest HHH, HBK, and Undertaker on team Cena. The other three for Punk & Brock can be other “Heyman” guys.

Ziggs lost to Orton. Again. Hopefully this means on PPV that Ziggs will finally pick up a win against the Viper. If not then I have no clue what creative is thinking. Their MITB winner shouldn’t be jobbing out to the guy who might not be there next month.

The last part of the show was about trying to get Cena over as the face with the help of Bret Hart. John Cena gave one hell of promo to Punk. The two have a great chemistry in every aspect. By the end the Montreal crowd was very pro Cena. It was a really strong finish to the show and probably sold a lot of people who were on the fence about this PPV.

I also like having Bret Hart punch out CM Punk. Cena makes the original save to pop the crowd, and then Hart is on the defense to block the second attempt. It’s one shot from one of the greatest in the world, and Punk peppers out of the ring. It is the perfect way to handle it because Hart shouldn’t be able to hang with the champ, but a good shot to the jaw works at being believable.

This Sunday will be interesting. Traditionally on these middle of the road PPVs, the guy standing tall on the last RAW is the guy losing the match. By that math it would be CM Punk who slithers out after Sunday night. I think there will be more Heyman interaction. I also think the Boston crowd will be a great crowd for this match. It may be the most pro-Cena crowd the WWE has.

Monday Night RAW hasn’t been knocking it out of the park. Last week was a place holder besides the very end segment. This week it was all about Punk. Once this PPV is over, and we move on to Hell in a Cell, I would believe things should pick up to compete with Monday Night Football. If the WWE waits until their build for Survivor Series, then it could be too late. Then again next Monday is coming together as a can’t miss show because something big is brewing for this Sunday. When it comes to good RAWs, I find it’s the mystery that sells the best. That is why I’m a Paul Heyman guy.  

Monday Night RAW: When 3 Hours Becomes 1

I didn’t get to watch RAW live last night, but before going to bed I decided to DVR through the 3 hours. It’s sad when I can get through the whole episode in an hour, and know I never missed a thing. The fact is that World Wrestling Entertainment is getting ready for an international tour, and next Monday is a holiday show, so the WWE is in a holding pattern until September 10^th. The matches this week were nothing bigger than anything I would see on WWE Superstars. Even John Cena vs. The Miz, a former WrestleMania main event, didn’t have a big match feel.

I for one am a big fan of the mini-feud between CM Punk and Jerry Lawler. Last night it was fumbled a little bit. Why won’t Jerry Lawler man up right away and why does he need an hour to think about it? I was all for the CM Punk “apology” and how he ran down Lawler. When Punk walked away I expected Lawler to lay out the champ with a cheap shot.

In fact it would have been better than waiting on Lawler to make a decision. They just have Punk do his fake apology and turn his back on Lawler. Then Jerry smacks Punk in the back of the head and tosses him from the ring. Punk storms off and in a backstage interview he challenges Lawler for later. Finally Lawler answers his challenge with a “Hell Yes” instead of the whimper he gave last night.

There were a lot of “eh” matches. Ryback, Layla, Truth, Santino, and Clay were all angle matches. None of these matches moved the needle. Ryback has a sloppy match with Swagger, who should be begging for his release. Layla got a win where the focus was on Vickie on the outside. Santino and his cobra have hormones for a chick with a hand. Clay teams with Sin Cara to get some rub by beating Rhodes & protecting Sandow. Finally Truth gets a win because the WWE wants to further the Bryan anger management angle. That’s like 90 minutes of stuff in a paragraph. See how fast you can DVR through three hours.

I did enjoy the Bryan anger management segments. They are campy and cheesy. I laughed at the Kane part because his character is that quirky. A tip of the cap to his morbid past, and Pete Rose was a big pop. I am interested to see where all this goes down the line. I wonder if it will be a bonding moment for Bryan and Kane? Maybe a future tag team?

Cena and Miz was good. These two have good chemistry. It was simply a match to keep Cena top of mind. The IC Champ is now just a glorified enhancement talent. The WWE just had to remind us that Cena is still around and he is gunning for Punk. Don’t everyone cheer at once.

The HHH segments were good at selling the end of his career. I enjoy the walk down memory lane. He is one of the best in ring performers in the history of the business, and to steal a sports term, a sure fire first ballot hall of famer. His speech was long, but if it is supposed to be his last one, then it should be that long.

Now I don’t for one second believe that he is totally done. As I said yesterday, HHH won’t go out crying. He’ll go out being carried from the ring. He is King Arthur in his mind, and Arthur doesn’t die on his knees, but carried out on his shield. I think they’ll save the dates in the Brock contract, and maybe use HBK to lure HHH out of retirement. How about HBK vs. Brock at Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble, which leads to Brock vs. HHH in a blow off match at WrestleMania? It would be a nice addition to a card that looks to have Rock vs. Cena, and possibly Punk vs. Taker.  That is three big matches to sell your 8PM, 9PM, and 10PM hours on the biggest show of the year.

Again Ziggler gets his teeth kicked in, and guess what Randy Orton stands tall. Yes it was Sheamus kicking in his teeth, but of the four men in that tag match, it is Orton who should be looking at the lights. Del Rio is your current #1 contender. Sheamus is your World champion. Ziggler is your money in the bank holder. Orton is fresh off suspension for his second drug violation and about to leave again to film a movie. Which one do you think should be losing? Yeah not Ziggler. Crowd liked it, but Milwaukee isn’t known for their intelligence.

The crowd showed their lack of care during the main event. Jerry Lawler and Punk are facing each other in a cage match, and you could hear a pin drop in that building. Maybe the crowd was tired from three hours of subpar wrestling. The match was limited because Punk at any time could destroy Lawler. He played the cocky heel, including the free shot to begin.

I liked how the match played out because there was a story involved in there. Now most people in the crowd and watching at home don’t really understand how big a deal Jerry Lawler was. They know the puppy loving immature commentator and not the king of Memphis wrestling. It showed last night.

The end was the best part with Punk dismantling Lawler as he demanded respect. He really took a turn towards the dark side. Cena comes out and forgets he can climb a cage, so Lawler takes a few more minutes of a beating. The cage gets raised and Punk walks off with an evil grin on his face. Purpose served even if the crowd didn’t care for the first 90% of it.

Should be interesting to see how next week is handled in Chicago. Punk will be a conquering hero in his hometown. I would assume they will play up the hometown angle for Night of Champions. I’ll put my money on a six man tag next week. It’s the crutch match for WWE creative when they don’t want to really advance a storyline. I don’t think Lawler gets involved because they might sell him being injured after the attack. Then again having him be part of team Cena in a six man would make sense.

Finally, I would think a stipulation is going to be added to the match between Cena and Punk at the PPV. I still say a handshake or respect match but with the loser calling the winner, “The Best in The World” after the match. In Boston that would be some serious heel heat if Cena had to say it to Punk.

It was a quick week this week. I expect the same next week. That means the September 10^th show has to be a HUGE event to help cover the coasting the WWE is doing. If not then I might coast past buying Night of Champions.

Monday Night RAW: Broken Finish

(courtesy of WWE.com)

Last night was the most enjoyable of the new three hour format. It might be because I am getting used to it being three hours. It could also be that they had more wrestling on the show. Then the end of the show happened, and it came off as a teen drama like Dawson’s Creek or One Tree Hill. Maybe that is because AJ Lee skipping to the ring looks more like a cast member for Pretty Little Liars than the GM of a WWE brand.

I’m a fan of mixing things up. They usually start with a twenty minute promo, but instead they have Show vs. Punk. This was a good match to showcase how much of a threat that Big Show is. He manhandled the WWE champion. Since this was all an angle with Daniel Bryan coming to get involved to set up the tag match later, it was a good use of talent. Show got jobbed out by RKO last week, so Punk does him a favor by taking a whipping this week.

When AJ skipped to the ring among the four was the first time I really noticed how out of place she looks. She doesn’t act serious and comes off like an airhead. As pointed out by Shane Helms on his twitter, it is the reason she wasn’t at the contract signing later in the show, because her action/look sticks out like a sore thumb among the brutes. Turning her into a GM instead of a Vickie Guerrero or Eve, who fit the role better, might have a negative impact on her run in the WWE.

JTG talked trash on twitter. The WWE creative team either told him to do it to get over on the dirt sheets, or they are using it afterwards to deal with the collateral damage. Either way JTG gets to taste the stiffness that is Ryback. His new entrance music is horrible. I hate “Feed Me More”. What a dumb catch phrase. Now we get to wait until somebody answers “Feed Me More” with a knuckle sandwich. Get it. He squashes JTG and people now know to watch their ass on twitter as Cole has a social media orgasm.

The Prime Time Players are already better without AW. It sucks he is out of a job, but even a pro stand up like Daniel Tosh will tell you that rape jokes are tough to pull off. Now AW is going to be a stand up. Can’t wait for that. It’s been my career for five years now. Should be fun to see him realize you can’t just ramble on stage.

Just attacking R-Truth, and doing their best Billy and Chuck impersonation after, did more for the Prime time Players than months of AW talking during their matches. I look forward to seeing where they go from here. The R-Truth match was just to set this up, so Slater is not even an enhancement talent now, he’s a placeholder talent.

Tensai vs. Sin Cara & the Divas match weren’t anything special. I checked on the NFL preseason game during these. Tensai needs to break from his worshipper and get with Vickie Guerrero. In fact having him, the Prime Time Players, and one more talent would be a nice stable for Vickie. Plus then Ziggler could break free for a solo run, or he could be the one and let those guys be his muscle/stooges.

Rowdy Roddy Piper is hit or miss, never in between. Unfortunately last night was a miss. He was trying to get Jericho over with the crowd as a good guy. He ranted about stuff while also trying to get over his Mickey Rourke match from years back. Also his homophobic pink shirt comment didn’t do much as now everybody wears Pink shirts. Just as Pauly D or Robbie E. This segment was a train wreck that went too long, but did lead into a great match.

Ziggler vs. Jericho vs. Miz was an entertaining three way dance. They all worked their butts off and I liked that Ziggler was kept out of most of the match. They told a good story with Jericho trying to show he can win the big one. Miz can really sell. In the end having Ziggler steal the win from Jericho as Vickie distracted the ref was simply amazing stuff. Jericho took out Miz with the walls. Then Ziggler hits his finisher on Y2J. It puts both young guys over, and plays up the “Jericho can’t cut the mustard” storyline. Good stuff, and their match at Summer Slam should be a classic. Especially with it being Jericho’s last match of 2012.

Another great storyline match was the tag between Punk/Cena & Bryan/Show. They really put over the tension between Cena and Punk. They also showed how over Bryan is with his “No” gimmick. That crowd was losing their minds taunting him. I am sure Daniel Bryan goes to the bathroom and shits gold. He protects Show by taking the beating, and the Summer Slam match for the WWE title is set. I hope Bryan beats Kane as he is the glue holding this company together this summer.

Another great moment is the build of Damien Sandow. Christian is now relegated to the cheered face that always gets beat. The announcers talk about his title runs only to prove how good the guy he loses to is. Again I state, was being TNA champion that bad? Funky Brodus comes to the ring and everybody thinks Sandow is going to lose, but swerve is on us. He picks up the duke and for a third straight week rubs it in Clay’s face. Their match at Summer Slam should be good, and Sandow is becoming a money drawing heel because people will pay to watch him get beat up.

I didn’t touch the whole HBK, Lesnar, and HHH angle yet because it was broken. Parts of it I liked, Parts of it I didn’t, and Parts of it were straight from the CW. HBK is scared of Lesnar. His facials are great. He is really helping sell that this man is a monster. This I liked.

HHH isn’t there because he flew commercial. The big wig of a billion dollar company that owns jets with their logo on it didn’t fly on one? Come on man. Why not just say he is stuck in traffic? Why not have him show up only to be called away on business? Anything but a commercial flight is late. This isn’t JTG on the phone, it’s HHH. This I didn’t like.

Paul Heyman was a salesman. He made sure people knew this was going to be brutal. The crowd wasn’t into it because they were in hour 3. So he tosses in a Texans being cowards line and gets them riled up. He is an old pro at this. It brings out HBK and the two together have done more to sell this match than anything Brock & HHH have done together. I really liked this.

Then after it all ended HHH came down to save his little buddy. That’s right the hall of famer, showstopper, and man who took on Taker in a Hell in a Cell, needed HHH to come down to watch his back. One Lesnar = One DX. It makes HBK look weak like he can’t fight his own fights. I get he is retired, but is anyone coming down to stand up for Mick Foley, Stone Cold, or the Rock if they are in a ring with one man? Probably not. This I didn’t like.

Here is where the teen drama kicks in. Heyman sets up HBK by blocking his car with his car. Lesnar comes and drags HBK out of his car. The cameraman gets knocked down and we lose visual but not audio. They have a nasty sound brawl. Then commercial.

We come back from commercial and nobody knows where Lesnar or HBK is. You mean everyone missed a nearly 300 pound man carrying a broken down 240 pound man to the ring with a fat manager yelling behind him? Then HBK gets roughed up by Brock as HHH comes to the ring. Heyman tries to control his man, but oops, he breaks HBKs arm. Then HHH does the stupidest thing yet and challenges Brock to fight him in a ring where his buddy is being attended to by EMTs for a broken arm. Are you gonna fight on top of him? Genius!

It was overbooked drama that made the show feel like it was clunky at the end. The end should have been the contract signing, but we waited around, and everyone knew it was so HBK could get brutalized. Maybe do the contract signing at 10PM, then do the WWE title tag match, and end the show with Lesnar beating the crap out of HBK in the back. Hell, even have him break HBKs arm in the back and then jump in a car driven by Heyman as HHH chases after on foot. It would have flowed together, and it wouldn’t have insulted the WWE title picture by having them go on mid-show.

This show was good. Some of it made me want to see Summer Slam. Jericho vs. Ziggler will be good. I’m even looking forward to the tag match and the Clay/Sandow match. Bryan looks to be hitting a great stride. The WWE title match is intriguing because I really don’t know who is walking out champ between Cena and Punk. It should be Punk, but it seems that his character might be headed towards dropping the title and going full blown dark side.

The Summer Slam main event between HHH and Brock has lost some steam. It will probably be entertaining, but in the end it still hasn’t connected with me. This is more of a match built on name value than storyline value.

When it’s all said and done Summer Slam will fall on how well these two tell a story in the ring, which will rely on Heyman & HBK playing heavy roles.  I’m still betting on a Stephanie smack to Heyman & that HBK will do the whole struggling with tossing in the towel angle much like Rocky did in Rocky 4 when Drago was murdering Apollo. If it goes like that then does that mean HBK vs. Brock at Survivor Series to avenge his friend and get back his reputation after Lesnar made him piss himself on RAW? I leave you with that to think about.

It's Here

It’s a big day here at G.R.o.W. as not only is WWE celebrating the 1000^th episode of Monday Night RAW, but I just found out my wife & I are expecting our first child. To say my brain is focused elsewhere is an understatement. Yeah, I’m going to be somebody’s father. The same guy who once got busted open the hard way by a clown with coconut in a Warren, MI YMCA. God save us all. The wife and I are very excited to say the least.

I have been sitting here trying to focus on writing something for tonight, but my mind keeps wandering. As Ice Cube would say, “Today was a good day”. Even better, tonight is going to be a good night.

It’s hard not to get expectations high when you keep hearing all the rumors coming out of St. Louis going into tonight’s big show. At 8PM is the reunion of DX, and not just HBK & HHH, but pretty much all of DX. Even if they just strut around the ring, dropping catch phrases for twenty minutes, it will be a great sight to see.

Then on top of that is the reunion of Brock and Heyman as Lesnar returns to RAW to answer HHH’s challenge for Summer Slam. Spoiler alert: He’s gonna eventually say yes, but the build-up is half the fun. Just seeing the monster with his Dr. Frankenstein in the ring is going to be enough to sell me on ordering Summer Slam. Which I would have done anyway.

Moving down the list is the conclusion to the Heath Slater angle that has actually helped Slater become more than just another sheep in the herd. He has shown some charisma, and could be valuable as a lower card heel that believes he is a main eventer. The biggest rumor of the weekend is that tonight Slater will come face to face with the biggest RAW superstar in the history of the program, Stone Cold Steve Austin. I for one will still hold out hope for Nature Boy Ric Flair, but a few stunners never hurt anyone. Plus when Heath hears the glass, he’ll know it’s his ass.

What you mean there is more? You betcha as we get a brand new GM for RAW and Smackdown. This gets lost in the shuffle, but it really does a lot to establish the direction of the WWE going forward. This is a character that has multiple storylines going on over two different shows. It is a person who can feud with the lowest of the card, and also get into it with the champions. That kind of versatility can’t be ignored. Fingers are crossed for Paul Heyman; if it’s William Regal I’ll also be pleased. Don’t sleep on this segment as it could do more leading up to WrestleMania than anything else we see tonight.

Holy crap there is even more! Did you know the Rock is going to be on tonight? Yeah, the great one is gonna be talking about Pie, plus I bet he has something more to do. He has sure been talking about challenging for the WWE title on twitter a lot. Hint Hint. Even if all he does is come down and talk for 5 minutes that is going to be another can’t miss moment. Notice a theme with tonight.

There can’t be any more can there? I don’t know, what about the Undetaker? Yeah the greatest character in pro wrestling history is going to be there tonight. He hasn’t been seen since he survived HHH at Mania. Tonight should point towards the next step in the streak as Taker isn’t a fulltime talent, but a guy rolled out for only the big moments. He’s not showing up for a photo opportunity, he’s in St. Louis to handle business.

And the hits keep on coming as Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee will tie the knot. Well maybe tie the knot. Nothing is ever certain in wrestling and weddings. They have been an up and down couple since Bryan dumped AJ after WrestleMania. Will AJ or Daniel get cold feet? Will another superstar have something to say about these two getting hitched? Or will they walk the aisle into happiness? No matter what it's going to be a major event. Plus who doesn't want to see what kind of dress the queen of crazy is going to wear. And will Bryan have a vegan cake? That's just wrong.

The list of other attractions is almost never ending, but on top of everything already listed is the WWE title match between CM Punk and John Cena. Not only is this the two biggest names in the business hooking up on free TV, but there is something at stake for both men’s reputations. Punk is putting his title on the line with 240+ days as champion. Cena is cashing in the Money in the Bank contract, and could be the first to ever do so unsuccessfully, because he took the honorable route by doing it against a fresh opponent. This looks to be the crowning jewel of a very exciting night. At the end we could have a new champion, or we could have the beginning of a modern dynasty as Punk has laid waste to almost every major star on the fulltime roster.

Does the Rock lay in wait for either man? Undertaker? Brock? It seems that RAW 1000 is going to celebrate the past while lighting the way for the future. If you’re a pro wrestling fan then tonight is your Superbowl, World Series, and Quidditch cup all rolled into one. Tonight don’t DVR RAW, watch it live. You’ll want to ride this rollercoaster with the rest of us. Only a few more hours until the whole wrestling world is thrown for a loop or two. And if you’re not down with that we got two words for you … TUNE IN!

DX Kicks Off The Party

When 8 o'clock rolls around on Monday night, and RAW officially turns 1000, the renegades known as Degeneration X will be lighting the candle. To most of the new WWE fans, they only know DX as the merchandise shills that appear every couple of years that your dad or uncle gets really excited to see.

To me DX is the definition of the attitude era in the WWE. Yes the Rock, Stone Cold, and Mick Foley did a lot to mold the attitude era, but it was Degeneration X that not only pushed the limits, but destroyed them. They were great for a laugh, and even better in the ring. The times they made fun of Sgt. Slaughter, or harrassed Michael Cole, were always a must see moment. In the end they even crossed the line & tried to invade WCW before it became an actual WWE storyline years later.

HBK, HHH, Chyna, and Rick Rude created the modern smart ass tweener that acted like a heel, but was cheered like a face. The second coming of DX with the New Age Outlaws, X-Pac, and even Tori kept raising the bar. Now on Monday night they'll probably shill some new merch and they'll crack old jokes, yet I'll be tuning in because when DX hits the screen something special is bound to happen.

Here's a little video for the younger fans to look back at the classic moments of the greatest group in WWE history, and if it wasn't for the Horsemen, maybe Professional Wrestling history.

Arm Chair Booker: RAW 1000

(courtesy of WWE)

If you didn’t know that I’m excited for the 1000^th episode of WWE Monday Night RAW, then you better ask somebody! To me this episode maybe a bigger show than the past two Wrestlemanias. It feels like a restart for the company. As if next week all the mistakes they have made over the past few years will be washed away and this new reality era, akin to the attitude era or the Hogan era, will mature into something special. It was only a year ago that this all began with CM Punk dropping pipe bombs all over the WWE Universe. Now this era has grown up and is ready to launch the WWE into a new dynasty of fresh gifted talent.

Today I want to look into the future a few days and make my suggestions for what should happen on this week’s episode of Monday Night RAW. Now you can be certain of this, 98.9% of this will probably not happen. It just is fun to get your hopes up like a kid the day before your birthday, and wonder what gifts will await you. Sure you can hope for a copy of “Wrestling Road Diaries”, but in reality you’re probably getting socks & an ice cream cake.

The DX Reunion

This is going to kick off the show. On the graphic they have HBK and HHH, yet it looks to be a full blown reunion as the New Age Outlaws, X-Pac, and even Chyna have been rumored to be in the building. It will be great to see all of them in the ring at the same time, cutting the old catch phrases, and crotch chopping until Chyna’s penis falls off. Yet this should also be when Brock Lesnar makes his first appearance.

Monday Night RAW is going to be starting at 8 from now on. People need to be trained to learn to not miss the first hour. That means for the next few weeks, and probably months, big things need to happen during the 8 PM hour. Having Brock destroy the Outlaws, X-Pac, and even Chyna before getting run out by HBK and HHH, will sure heat things up.

It also plays into the rumor that later in the show Brock will face off with HBK in a match. That would be something really special for RAW 1000. Especially if it goes longer than 5 minutes, which it won’t as they will use it to injure HBK and establish HHH/Lesnar as a blood feud.

Heath Slater vs. The Legends

This is the big payoff for Heath Slater. He has lost to almost every legend that has walked down the ramp. This week, when he loses, he needs to lose to somebody BIG. I have read on the internets that the money pick here is the Ultimate Warrior as a reenactment of Warrior’s IC title win at SummerSlam ’88. That would be cool, but there is somebody even bigger who can walk that aisle and pop the crowd for a minute or two.

The Nature Boy Ric Flair!

He isn’t under contract with TNA anymore and he is tailor made for this kind of payoff. The WWE audience only remembers old Flair, not bleed buckets TNA Flair. When his old school music hits and he struts that aisle in a blinged out robe, the building will lose their minds. Then he’ll do a series of chops, a bad back body drop, a cheap shot, and a figure four. Slater will tap like a fool, and Flair will walk back up the aisle. It’s the payoff this angle deserves.

Piper’s Pit

On Twitter this week, the Rowdy one said he wants to give CM Punk some advice backstage at RAW 1000. Why not also come on out and do a Piper’s Pit with, oh I don’t know, THE ROCK! Two of the best talkers in the business kicking off the 9PM hour will drive home that this is a big show. Most feel that Rock will be involved in the main event between Cena and Punk, yet he also needs to cut a promo to let the fans play sing-a-long with The Rock. This would be a great segment to build up the suspense of Rock wanting to challenge the winner for the title at SummerSlam. If done right it can benefit Punk and Cena without having either come out until their match, building the anticipation for the match to a fevered pitch, while also allowing Piper & Rock to give fans a special moment.

The Wedding

I want to start this off by saying the wedding angle is overplayed and only slightly less worse than the pregnancy angle. The fact that this has come out of nowhere and has really only been simmering for two weeks, makes me cringe more. I think Daniel Bryan and AJ could have something special as a long term tandem. That being said, this shotgun wedding is gonna happen, which is why it should go off without a hitch. It won’t, but it should. They should have a bunch of special appearances, but no raining day heel or funny shenanigans like AJ getting cold feet.  

Have Bryan and AJ tie the knot and walk out a happy couple. Then have your nasty heel moment post wedding. Imagine Kane driving their limo as they leave for the honeymoon? The big red machine becomes the green monster of jealousy. It’s a stretch as the Miz or somebody else will probably do something to ruin it. These things tend to follow a retreaded plan.

The Undertaker

It’s rumored that he’ll return for at least the night. I don’t know exactly what he’ll do as the WWE tends to save his wrestling for once or twice a year. There also isn’t anyone who has raised the ire of the dead man lately.

I guess maybe a cool moment with Taker would be him coming out after Ryback destroys Jack Swagger with the two starring each other down as Ryback screams “Feed Me More”. It could plant the seeds for Ryback to possibly beat Taker at SummerSlam, which would be the origin for their streak vs. streak match at WrestleMania. The role of Taker will be an interesting one if he does show up.

The GM

Two words ... Paul Heyman. He & Brock have lawsuits against the WWE in storyline. He settles out of court for control of the shows. It gives him a role outside of Brock. It also gives Brock a power figure to help explain why he is off TV as much as he will be. This should be a no brainer, bit this could also be the role Ric Flair takes on if he isn't the legend pay off. Fingers crossed for Heyman. He's so good as a slime ball.

The IC Title

The fans voted and Christian will be defending his title on RAW. He should defend it against a returning Randy Orton. The two could have an amazing match, plus the Apex Predator’s return will be a big pop moment. Having Orton lose to Christian can only help elevate the IC title. It also can help begin the heel turn that Orton desires. Nothing turns the crowd against a guy like a sore loser. Christian is good at selling a beating, and having a mini-feud with Orton going into SummerSlam could be exactly what the doctor ordered. Christian gets a big win under his belt and Orton gets to be a bad guy, which fits him better. If it’s not Orton, then Wade Barrett would be a good choice too.

The World Title Picture

There are a lot of people who want to challenge Sheamus for the World title. There is Albert Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Rey Mysterio Jr, and probably Chris Jericho. Last week we saw Jericho face off with Ziggler, putting him as the defacto good guy in their confrontation. It looks like this might be the mix of talents that ends up being the trademark six man tag for RAW. Needing a sixth person for the match, I would look for the WWE to add Tensai to the mix since he is flirting with becoming Vickie Guerrero’s new boy toy. Yeah I just typed that.

On one side you have Sheamus, Mysterio, and Jericho. On the other you have ADR, Ziggler, and Tensai. They can do the fun six man stuff and Tensai can take a brogue kick, a code breaker, and 619 protecting ADR & Zigs. I would expect Guerrero to start using Tensai as way to soften up Sheamus so that Ziggler can cash in the MITB contract.

The WWE Title

If the intros for this match start any later than 10:30, somebody in the WWE creative team needs to have their head put on a pike like its Game of Thrones. This match needs tons of time because it will have a lot involved in it. If Cena does win, then Punk deserves twenty plus minutes to put him over as a testament to his 240+ day reign as champion. If Punk does win, then Cena deserves twenty plus minutes to put him over as a testament to Cena being the first MITB winner not to cash in successfully. Plus there will be appearances during this match. I am guessing Big Show, The Rock, and a few others.

Also Good Ole’ JR needs to be at the mic telling this story. Sorry Michael Cole and King, but even together they don’t come close to being in Jim Ross’s league. He does more to elevate a match than any announcer since Bobby Heenan. This should be a no brainer on the WWE’s part, especially if they are doing the whole RAW past, present, future gimmick all night.

I said it yesterday that the WWE needs Punk to win this match. It plays better for the company, and Cena just being on the show will bring in the same sales & fans as him being champ. Punk being champ allows for better matches, more diverse stories, and elevated talent. Call him Hollywood because CM Punk makes stars.

I just hope they don’t puss out and do a no decision because of interference only to have this match conclude at SummerSlam. Yet that is probably exactly how it will go with The Rock involved somehow.

The Ending Angle

RAW 1000 will have an ending angle. It might be tied in to the WWE title, or it might be free floating. It is being said that Vince wants something on par with the Summer of Punk or NXT. I say combine the two. Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and many other developmental talents are ready to revolutionize RAW. Having them close the show with some kind of angle will really catapult them into the spotlight. Maybe they start a feud with Cena, maybe they start a feud with Punk, or maybe they start a feud with both. New blood with tons of talent is exactly what this company needs.

Ambrose can talk and Rollins can wrestle. Together they can do a lot of damage. Imagine if the two ended up costing Cena the title and making him the first MITB winner to screw up cashing in the contract. Yeah that is some instant heat. Imagine Rollins and Ambrose vs. Punk & Cena, A.k.a. The Mega Powers 2012, as the undercard for SummerSlam, where the main event will be HHH vs. Brock. Yeah I’m getting goose bumps thinking about it.

No matter how you slice it, RAW 1000 is going to be a really fun show. It might be one we watch a few times to relive a lot of moments. 8 PM can’t get here fast enough, and that feeling alone is worth the price of admission in my book. Good God it feels great to be a wrestling fan this week.

Who Needs To Win At RAW 1000?

(Courtesy of the WWE)

When Monday Night RAW went off the air this week, the main event for the 1000^th episode was set. It is going to be CM Punk vs. John Cena for the WWE Title as Cena cashed in his Money in the Bank contract. As RAW goes to three hours this match will usher in the new era of WWE raising the question, who’s going to walk out of St. Louis with the thirty pounds of gold around their waist? A case can be made for both men winning, but the WWE needs only one man to win, CM Punk.

John Cena has done pretty much everything in the WWE, aside from selling hot dogs & sodas at live events. He is a decorated champion. He has main evented every major pay per view. He has wrestled the biggest matches against a slew of dream opponents. He has made movies. He has released music albums. He even got to hit his boss with a chair for a national television commercial. John Cena is a made-man in professional wrestling. He truly never has to worry about returning to the Indies unless he wants to, much like Hulk Hogan, Sting, or Shawn Michaels. Yet with all his talents he doesn’t possess the rare talent that CM Punk has, he doesn’t make stars.

With all of John Cena’s accomplishments how many stars has he made in and out of the ring? If you’re going to say Randy Orton or Edge, then I will respond with this: Did he make them, or did they make John Cena? Randy Orton found his legs with HHH and evolution. Edge was a star before John Cena walked in the building. It would appear that Cena’s star was only made brighter by these two men. For as charismatic and talented as John Cena is, he is more Hogan than Flair in that after a feud only one man comes out the better, and that man is John Cena. In that same vein, CM Punk is more Flair than Hogan.

In the 1980’s when the territories where still alive and well, Ric Flair was the NWA champion. One of the key parts to being the NWA champion was coming to a town once a year and wrestling the area’s top guy. That guy wasn’t going to beat Flair, but the nature boy made everybody believe that their local hero was a hair away from walking out of the building with the strap. When Ric Flair walked out he didn’t leave a beaten opponent, but a guy who was elevated in the eyes of the local fans. The same fans who would pay money to see their hero each and every week, even without Ric Flair at the events. Ric Flair as NWA champion helped sell tickets for all the smaller promotions by making stars that would be there when he wasn’t. That is the same rare talent that CM Punk brings to the table that John Cena doesn’t, and Hulk Hogan never had.

This talent has been on display for the past few months as CM Punk has consistently delivered top quality matches for the WWE at every spot on the card against each and every opponent. He has stolen the show as the first match, and sent fans home in a tizzy when he is the main event. He has righted the ship at the 10 PM hour, and kept fans glued when RAW runs over at 11 PM. It doesn’t matter when he wrestles, it will always be a must see match. It doesn’t even matter who the opponent is.

His recent matches with Kane have restarted the career of the Big Red Machine. The fan reaction to Kane has tempered over the past few years, but in one month of being inserted in a program with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan the monster Kane has catapulted back to the popularity of the attitude era. In Daniel Bryan, CM Punk has found his Ricky Steamboat. That being the one man that on any given night in any given match he can have a true classic showing at the drop of a hat.  

The two have wrestled off and on for the better part of three months and yet the fans salivate to see them hook up each and every time. In the ring they provide something that the WWE audience hasn’t seen in decades: Two men with the ability to make their opponent better than they ought to be. When put together against each other that means the ability to create matches and moments that have no limits.

As the WWE prepares to reign in a new era with a slew of gifted young talents waiting in the wings such as Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and the new breed of FCW, the WWE needs a man like CM Punk to be champion to help make the stars of the future. They need a champion who can beat Seth Rollins or Dean Ambrose, yet still make them bigger stars in the process. They need a Daniel Bryan to be the man who works with CM Punk to prepare the talents for the next 15 years in the WWE. Bryan elevates Rollins and Ambrose to face Punk, and Punk sends them to the heavens to join the stars that the WWE Universe idolize.

Aside from building new talent and reestablishing former stars, CM Punk brings another advantage to being the WWE champion: Dream Matches. John Cena faced The Rock at Wrestlemania in a match it took a year to build. He backed that up with a dream match against Brock Lesnar. He has faced HHH, Jericho, and almost every legend aside from Stone Cold Steve Austin. In CM Punk there is a slew of dream matches including the Rock and Brock, plus HBK & Stone Cold. In between building the future, Punk as champion can elevate the title with defenses against the stars of the past without tarnishing their legacy because of his ability to have a good match with a broom. That includes the Undertaker at Wrestlemania where a title vs. streak match could be bigger than Rock vs. Cena.

When RAW 1000 is over there will be one thing for sure, a good match between CM Punk and John Cena. Yet the WWE needs one man to walk out as champion. No matter what happens John Cena will sell the same amount of shirts, tickets, and bring in the same viewers. It is CM Punk who will build the next John Cena, or even better, the next CM Punk. The WWE needs that more than squeezing the last drops of blood from the stone known as Cenation. That well is almost dry, while Punk’s is endless.