Armchair Booker: Pot & Politics

It’s Monday! That means a new WWE Monday Night RAW, and answers to the biggest questions of the week. Last Wednesday morning Jack Swagger was busted for pot possession in Mississippi, putting his World title shot at WrestleMania in jeopardy. This tossed a huge wrench into the plans of the WWE as they try to keep a public image that stands firm against drugs. They also have to weigh that against the instant media coverage Swagger’s new character has garnered them. It’s a sticky situation for any creative staff.

When I was booking I never had to deal with drug busts but I had my share of last second roadblocks. An instance I can think of is when I first started with the MMWA in northern Michigan. We were days away from the 1 year anniversary show.  One of the big matches being promoted was “The Future” Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn. It was going to be the match we used to sell DVDs and help out our television product. I mean the two could have a five star match in wheelchairs.

Then I got a call on Friday morning from Chris that the night before he had wrestled for Ring of Honor. He got an eye injury that not only split open his eyebrow but almost closed the eye completely. It was a nasty injury and it happened only 48 hours before our event. Luckily he didn’t have a concussion, but he wasn’t at full strength.

At first he said he could try to gut it out, but I didn’t want to put him in any danger as he was just getting in with TNA and ROH. I wasn’t going to be the booker that cost him his career because I strong armed him into wrestling with a bad eye. Just try to run around your house with an eye patch on, now imagine doing it in a 16 foot ring with one of the best athletes in the business. Not exactly the safest environment. We had to call an audible.

We ended up shuffling the card and making Jerry Lynn’s opponent the MMWA champion Nate Webb. The two are really good friends and always have fun matches (usually with dancing). We put Sabin and me in Webb’s corner as I was doing an onscreen heel sports agent character that represented Sabin, and now had just signed Webb. During the match Nate ended up breaking his pinkie into what looked like an “L”. The match was cursed but it still came across great on camera.

We played up the angle that Lynn and Webb respected each other as the match went on. In the end Sabin and I jumped Jerry Lynn to save Nate’s title. Webb got angry that we would do such a thing and got in between us. This lead to an attempted attack on Nate, but soon he and Lynn teamed up to clean house. Nate became an instant face, and we put the ball in motion for a Lynn/Webb against Sabin/??? match in the future. It turned lemons into lemonade for the MMWA.

Now the WWE is in a similar situation. They need to make some serious brownies out of Swagger’s weed bust. This is how I would do it.

The Jack Swagger character isn’t relying on Jack Swagger. That is the beauty of it. He actually is the hammer for Uncle Zeb, who didn’t violate any wellness policy. In the WWE Wellness policy it states that Swagger could be fired, but since it is a first time offense then he should receive a 30 day suspension. I would suspend him on Monday night.

He and Zeb would come to the ring and talk about how a “real American” like Jack Swagger is hounded by the government but millions of illegals are free to take our jobs, our healthcare, and our education. Zeb says that Swagger will be suspended for 30 days because he is an honest man that does the right thing and accepts his punishment unlike people like Alberto Del Rio, who should deport themselves.

Swagger then leaves the ring to begin his 30 days as Zeb turns his attention towards Glenn Beck, Alex Jones, and Fox News. I for one wouldn’t break character. I get why the WWE did the now famous green screen promo, but I’m not one to knock down the fourth wall. Let Zeb call all of them out for anything and everything. Say they don’t support “real Americans” who speak the truth without sugar coating it. If the news outlets bite then it is free pub. It shouldn’t be the focus of the feud, but an off shoot to generate buzz.

Each week have more promos from Zeb and interaction in the ring with Alberto Del Rio. Zeb can do commentary during Del Rio’s matches to push the storyline. Let him really get into it with ADR, and even do an in ring debate one week. The tension the two can generate from just being near each other should help build the hatred for Zeb and the want by audience to see him get his.

Eventually it ramps up into Zeb getting Del Rio hot and bothered to the point that he wants to knock Zeb’s lights out. That leads to Del Rio’s buddy Ricardo Rodriguez trying to fight Zeb and challenging him to a match on Smackdown. Zeb agrees, but only if Del Rio is banned from ring area. He can make comments about not trusting the two and even toss in a couple of inflammatory remarks.

The match between Zeb and RR is promoted for the March 29^th edition of Smackdown. The two hype it with promos through the night. I even would do a segment where Del Rio gives Ricardo that “win one for the Gipper” speech in the backstage area where he’ll watch the match.

During the main event it is back and forth with Ricardo getting the upper hand (as he should against an elderly man). Shortly into the match Jack Swagger comes from the back as the two beat up Ricardo in the ring including slapping on the ankle lock. Alberto Del Rio comes to make the save but the damage is done. The announcers play up the fact that Swagger’s 30 days ended on Tuesday.

The next Monday on RAW both Swagger and Zeb are back in full action with a match against Sin Cara. Swagger gets the dominant win and tosses Sin Cara from the ring like a piece of trash. The two cut a mean promo about this Sunday at WrestleMania and their quest to save this country. Del Rio comes on the screen standing next to Ricardo, who is in a walking boot. They are in Swagger’s locker room and say they are so happy that Swagger is back that they wanted to throw him a fiesta. The two trash Swagger’s locker room and really do a number on the “Don’t Tread on Me” flag. I would even burn the flag as it hangs on the wall. Let that be the closing shot before commercial.

On Friday’s Smackdown do a pick your poison match where Swagger picks Del Rio’s opponent and vice versa. Zeb picks the Big Show to face Del Rio. It is a good one off match with the biggest man in the WWE plus it has some heat from their recent feud. Del Rio picks Rey Mysterio to face Swagger. He is a big name and it fits with the anti-immigration theme.

Swagger bests Mysterio with some underhanded tactics by Zeb in the first hour main event. In the closing match of the night Del Rio and Big Show wrestle until Del Rio is about to win. Then Swagger and Zeb come down to beat Alberto down. Ricardo tries to get involved but he gets crushed by Swagger.

If they could pull it off I would do a spot where Swagger grabs ADR’s ankle and drags him up a turnbuckle. He could do a top rope ankle lock that has ADR swinging upside down. As he swings the Big Show comes over and delivers a KO punch that flattens ADR. It all goes to black with Swagger and Zeb standing over Del Rio with the World title in hand.

At WrestleMania both men have a tight back and forth matchup. Zeb and Ricardo on the outside doing their thing with Zeb constantly getting involved to give Swagger the upper hand. Eventually Zeb and Ricardo are in the ring with Ricardo still wearing the walking boot. He delivers a big kick to the groin with the boot that sends Zeb to his knees and out of the ring. The crowd will pop for that spot.

Swagger goes after Ricardo as he quickly powders out of the ring. Swagger is against the ropes as he grabs Ricardo by the collar to try and drag him back in. This is where Del Rio school boys Swagger for the three count. Jack and Zeb lose it by bashing Del Rio including a Swagger bomb through the Spanish announce table after the match.

Then Zeb gets on the mic and says America is the land of opportunity. He invites Dolph Ziggler to come down as Swagger drags Del Rio into the ring for an ankle lock. Zeb can say that it might not be Swagger who wins the title but a full red blooded American is walking out of WrestleMania as champ.

Dolph comes to the ring to cash in the Money In The Bank briefcase. Swagger keeps the ankle lock on as Zeb continues to taunt Del Rio. When the bell rings for Dolph the two leave the ring and Ziggler quickly covers Del Rio but only for a two count. Dolph can’t believe it. Del Rio gets some fire as he hobbles on one leg. In a few minutes it is clear that Del Rio is injured and Dolph eventually is too much for the champ. He gets the three count on Del Rio, but only after it is clear that Del Rio is far from 100%.

Now Dolph is the World champ, and Del Rio has an even bigger issue with Swagger without putting the title on the guy who got popped for pot. Alberto can feud with Swagger for a few months as Dolph gets his reign as World champion established against challengers like Randy Orton and Sheamus. Eventually Del Rio overcomes Swagger as the storyline comes full circle with Del Rio finally getting his rematch at SummerSlam against Dolph Ziggler. That match, and feud, is a story for another time.

That is how I would book the Swagger angle with the handicap of a 30 day suspension. It isn’t ideal because you always want a talent on screen but with a talker like Zeb that can be worked around. I believe the theme of the feud is hot enough to really build interest. Immigration is a huge issue in this country and has supporters on both sides. That alone would be enough to keep Del Rio and Swagger strong going into Mania.

I wouldn’t put the title on Swagger because I’m not a supporter of rewarding guys who do stupid things like get suspended. That doesn’t mean you can’t make money with him. He and Del Rio could make some big money in a non-title feud that helps put Alberto over. The Swagger and Zeb characters have a lot of run in them. They can have feuds with numerous talents over the next year. You just don’t make him a main guy until you’re sure he won’t find himself with a second strike.

I’m excited to see how the WWE handles things. It would seem right now that they are more concerned with the buzz being generated by the character than with the actual feud. I hope that doesn’t become the focal point of this as Swagger and Del Rio both deserve more respect than being the side note of the situation. I guess we’ll know a lot more by tonight.

Check back tomorrow for the RAW review as big things are brewing for tonight. The Undertaker is back. John Cena will face CM Punk. Plus Vince McMahon wants to fight Paul Heyman. That is a packed show without the Swagger and Del Rio angle. Now I just wonder if The Rock will show up or does he have a hangover from the Oscars. I mean he had to be drinking, it’s not like he was winning anything.  Until tomorrow, remember the McMahon life motto, “Money over morality”.

Arm Chair Booker: RAW 1000

(courtesy of WWE)

If you didn’t know that I’m excited for the 1000^th episode of WWE Monday Night RAW, then you better ask somebody! To me this episode maybe a bigger show than the past two Wrestlemanias. It feels like a restart for the company. As if next week all the mistakes they have made over the past few years will be washed away and this new reality era, akin to the attitude era or the Hogan era, will mature into something special. It was only a year ago that this all began with CM Punk dropping pipe bombs all over the WWE Universe. Now this era has grown up and is ready to launch the WWE into a new dynasty of fresh gifted talent.

Today I want to look into the future a few days and make my suggestions for what should happen on this week’s episode of Monday Night RAW. Now you can be certain of this, 98.9% of this will probably not happen. It just is fun to get your hopes up like a kid the day before your birthday, and wonder what gifts will await you. Sure you can hope for a copy of “Wrestling Road Diaries”, but in reality you’re probably getting socks & an ice cream cake.

The DX Reunion

This is going to kick off the show. On the graphic they have HBK and HHH, yet it looks to be a full blown reunion as the New Age Outlaws, X-Pac, and even Chyna have been rumored to be in the building. It will be great to see all of them in the ring at the same time, cutting the old catch phrases, and crotch chopping until Chyna’s penis falls off. Yet this should also be when Brock Lesnar makes his first appearance.

Monday Night RAW is going to be starting at 8 from now on. People need to be trained to learn to not miss the first hour. That means for the next few weeks, and probably months, big things need to happen during the 8 PM hour. Having Brock destroy the Outlaws, X-Pac, and even Chyna before getting run out by HBK and HHH, will sure heat things up.

It also plays into the rumor that later in the show Brock will face off with HBK in a match. That would be something really special for RAW 1000. Especially if it goes longer than 5 minutes, which it won’t as they will use it to injure HBK and establish HHH/Lesnar as a blood feud.

Heath Slater vs. The Legends

This is the big payoff for Heath Slater. He has lost to almost every legend that has walked down the ramp. This week, when he loses, he needs to lose to somebody BIG. I have read on the internets that the money pick here is the Ultimate Warrior as a reenactment of Warrior’s IC title win at SummerSlam ’88. That would be cool, but there is somebody even bigger who can walk that aisle and pop the crowd for a minute or two.

The Nature Boy Ric Flair!

He isn’t under contract with TNA anymore and he is tailor made for this kind of payoff. The WWE audience only remembers old Flair, not bleed buckets TNA Flair. When his old school music hits and he struts that aisle in a blinged out robe, the building will lose their minds. Then he’ll do a series of chops, a bad back body drop, a cheap shot, and a figure four. Slater will tap like a fool, and Flair will walk back up the aisle. It’s the payoff this angle deserves.

Piper’s Pit

On Twitter this week, the Rowdy one said he wants to give CM Punk some advice backstage at RAW 1000. Why not also come on out and do a Piper’s Pit with, oh I don’t know, THE ROCK! Two of the best talkers in the business kicking off the 9PM hour will drive home that this is a big show. Most feel that Rock will be involved in the main event between Cena and Punk, yet he also needs to cut a promo to let the fans play sing-a-long with The Rock. This would be a great segment to build up the suspense of Rock wanting to challenge the winner for the title at SummerSlam. If done right it can benefit Punk and Cena without having either come out until their match, building the anticipation for the match to a fevered pitch, while also allowing Piper & Rock to give fans a special moment.

The Wedding

I want to start this off by saying the wedding angle is overplayed and only slightly less worse than the pregnancy angle. The fact that this has come out of nowhere and has really only been simmering for two weeks, makes me cringe more. I think Daniel Bryan and AJ could have something special as a long term tandem. That being said, this shotgun wedding is gonna happen, which is why it should go off without a hitch. It won’t, but it should. They should have a bunch of special appearances, but no raining day heel or funny shenanigans like AJ getting cold feet.  

Have Bryan and AJ tie the knot and walk out a happy couple. Then have your nasty heel moment post wedding. Imagine Kane driving their limo as they leave for the honeymoon? The big red machine becomes the green monster of jealousy. It’s a stretch as the Miz or somebody else will probably do something to ruin it. These things tend to follow a retreaded plan.

The Undertaker

It’s rumored that he’ll return for at least the night. I don’t know exactly what he’ll do as the WWE tends to save his wrestling for once or twice a year. There also isn’t anyone who has raised the ire of the dead man lately.

I guess maybe a cool moment with Taker would be him coming out after Ryback destroys Jack Swagger with the two starring each other down as Ryback screams “Feed Me More”. It could plant the seeds for Ryback to possibly beat Taker at SummerSlam, which would be the origin for their streak vs. streak match at WrestleMania. The role of Taker will be an interesting one if he does show up.

The GM

Two words ... Paul Heyman. He & Brock have lawsuits against the WWE in storyline. He settles out of court for control of the shows. It gives him a role outside of Brock. It also gives Brock a power figure to help explain why he is off TV as much as he will be. This should be a no brainer, bit this could also be the role Ric Flair takes on if he isn't the legend pay off. Fingers crossed for Heyman. He's so good as a slime ball.

The IC Title

The fans voted and Christian will be defending his title on RAW. He should defend it against a returning Randy Orton. The two could have an amazing match, plus the Apex Predator’s return will be a big pop moment. Having Orton lose to Christian can only help elevate the IC title. It also can help begin the heel turn that Orton desires. Nothing turns the crowd against a guy like a sore loser. Christian is good at selling a beating, and having a mini-feud with Orton going into SummerSlam could be exactly what the doctor ordered. Christian gets a big win under his belt and Orton gets to be a bad guy, which fits him better. If it’s not Orton, then Wade Barrett would be a good choice too.

The World Title Picture

There are a lot of people who want to challenge Sheamus for the World title. There is Albert Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Rey Mysterio Jr, and probably Chris Jericho. Last week we saw Jericho face off with Ziggler, putting him as the defacto good guy in their confrontation. It looks like this might be the mix of talents that ends up being the trademark six man tag for RAW. Needing a sixth person for the match, I would look for the WWE to add Tensai to the mix since he is flirting with becoming Vickie Guerrero’s new boy toy. Yeah I just typed that.

On one side you have Sheamus, Mysterio, and Jericho. On the other you have ADR, Ziggler, and Tensai. They can do the fun six man stuff and Tensai can take a brogue kick, a code breaker, and 619 protecting ADR & Zigs. I would expect Guerrero to start using Tensai as way to soften up Sheamus so that Ziggler can cash in the MITB contract.

The WWE Title

If the intros for this match start any later than 10:30, somebody in the WWE creative team needs to have their head put on a pike like its Game of Thrones. This match needs tons of time because it will have a lot involved in it. If Cena does win, then Punk deserves twenty plus minutes to put him over as a testament to his 240+ day reign as champion. If Punk does win, then Cena deserves twenty plus minutes to put him over as a testament to Cena being the first MITB winner not to cash in successfully. Plus there will be appearances during this match. I am guessing Big Show, The Rock, and a few others.

Also Good Ole’ JR needs to be at the mic telling this story. Sorry Michael Cole and King, but even together they don’t come close to being in Jim Ross’s league. He does more to elevate a match than any announcer since Bobby Heenan. This should be a no brainer on the WWE’s part, especially if they are doing the whole RAW past, present, future gimmick all night.

I said it yesterday that the WWE needs Punk to win this match. It plays better for the company, and Cena just being on the show will bring in the same sales & fans as him being champ. Punk being champ allows for better matches, more diverse stories, and elevated talent. Call him Hollywood because CM Punk makes stars.

I just hope they don’t puss out and do a no decision because of interference only to have this match conclude at SummerSlam. Yet that is probably exactly how it will go with The Rock involved somehow.

The Ending Angle

RAW 1000 will have an ending angle. It might be tied in to the WWE title, or it might be free floating. It is being said that Vince wants something on par with the Summer of Punk or NXT. I say combine the two. Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and many other developmental talents are ready to revolutionize RAW. Having them close the show with some kind of angle will really catapult them into the spotlight. Maybe they start a feud with Cena, maybe they start a feud with Punk, or maybe they start a feud with both. New blood with tons of talent is exactly what this company needs.

Ambrose can talk and Rollins can wrestle. Together they can do a lot of damage. Imagine if the two ended up costing Cena the title and making him the first MITB winner to screw up cashing in the contract. Yeah that is some instant heat. Imagine Rollins and Ambrose vs. Punk & Cena, A.k.a. The Mega Powers 2012, as the undercard for SummerSlam, where the main event will be HHH vs. Brock. Yeah I’m getting goose bumps thinking about it.

No matter how you slice it, RAW 1000 is going to be a really fun show. It might be one we watch a few times to relive a lot of moments. 8 PM can’t get here fast enough, and that feeling alone is worth the price of admission in my book. Good God it feels great to be a wrestling fan this week.