The Only Good Thing From WrestleMania

 

 

If you missed WrestleMania, and I'm jealous of you for not wasting an entire Sunday evening, then you missed one good match. It was the match that closed RAW. Probably should have been the match to close Mania. It was the respect vs. the streak. It's CM Punk vs. The Undertaker.

 

Here is the match in full. I hope these two meet again at WrestleMania. It looks like next year will be Cena vs. Taker at WM30. My fingers are crossed they don't break the streak with Cena. That would be a wasted investment. Beating the Undertaker at Mania is something a talent could live off for decades. The kind of thing a guy in his 50's still talks about at local indy shows 25 years later.

 

If Punk doesn't snap the streak then a Dean Ambrose, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, or Dolph Ziggler would be the logical choice. Then again maybe it is one of those things that should never be broken. That is the true debate.

 

And that debate is for another time.

 

Enjoy the match, and realize this was the only thing worth paying for on Sunday night. 

Why it sucks

The WrestleMania times have been leaked. God how do I hate the WWE. You can't even keep the basics under wraps. If you want to see it. Look below.

* Chris Jericho vs. Fandango has been given 10 minutes
* Kane and Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston has been given 12 to 15 minutes
* Ryback vs. Mark Henry has been given 12 minutes
* The Shield vs. Randy Orton, Big Show and Sheamus has been given 15 minutes
* CM Punk vs. The Undertaker has been given 20 minutes
* Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio has been given 15 minutes
* Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar has been given 20 to 30 minutes
* The Rock vs. John Cena has been given 25 to 30 minutes
* A Diddy musical performance has been given 8 minutes
* The WWE Hall of Famers coming out to wave to fans has been given 7 minutes
* The show opener and National Anthem has been given 7 minutes
* Other assorted segments throughout the show have been given 10 minutes

The longest three matches all involve part time talent. One match is all part time talent (and the second longest match on the card). Why build talent when we can just remind people of guys that used to be here, but now are just using Mania for a good pay day.

Also P-Diddy is getting about the same time as Chris Jericho. That makes sense. Mother fucker.

Anyone catch The Ultimate Fighter this week? Uriah Hall has a better build as character than most new WWE characters (Shield excluded, but that might be more the talents doing than the writers).

Still not sold on buying this show. Might be my first missed Mania in a decade.

R.I.P. William Moody

It's a sad day today. A true icon, especially to managers like myself, Paul Bearer passed away. The details of his passing aren't known currently. William Moody would have been 59 next month. He just loved professional wrestling.

He was on WrestleMania. He helped craft three of the greatest characters in professional wrestling in Kane, The Undertaker, and Mankind. He was a star and house hold name to fans. He also acted like being at an indy show with 80 people in the crowd was the best place to be. Again, he just loved professional wrestling.

I never got to ride with him from shows, but those who did often tell stories about their experience. Paul Bearer was always willing to listen and he was always glad to give advice. He was a nice guy in a business of cheats and hustlers. He will be missed.

Enjoy these videos and may Paul Bearer Rest ... In ... Peace!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Night RAW: Blame The Crowd

I’ve been doing entertainment in one form or another for almost fifteen years now. I started in Radio in 1998 and had been in and out until 2010. From 1999 until late 2006, I made my money in a professional wrestling ring. In 2007, after my second hip surgery before I turned 26, I started doing standup comedy and continue to travel the roads telling my stories today. I’ve spent a majority of my adult life in front of crowds.

Normally only shitty entertainers blame the crowd for a bad show. They usually can’t bring themselves to admit they stunk the joint up. As comic legend Jim Wiggins once told me in a bowling alley in bumfuck, Indiana, “There aren’t bad crowds, just horrible comics”. I believe this applies to all genres of entertainment. Then there was Buffalo, NY last night. They proved there is always an exception to the rule.

I can’t fault the WWE for last night’s RAW. It was a really good showing and it was booked as a very strong show with multiple angles getting over and plans for Mania getting a little clearer. It just sucked that they basically had an empty arena feel with a full crowd. It was like the fans showed up expecting Disney on Ice and a wrestling show broke out.

Since the return of the Rock this has been more apparent with crowds. Dallas was a shit crowd last week. There have been a few more, but they escape me. It can’t be just the return of the Rock. Maybe it is a run of bad luck, but it makes no sense as the WWE has had some strong episodes of RAW recently. It has to be a mix of Cena fans, who only show up to cheer their hero, and Rock fans, who only show up to see the movie star. I don’t know.

Maybe it was the green screen promo that told all the marks they’re dumb for believing this is real, and this is what we get for exposing Oz. What I wouldn’t give for an old school crowd during an old school RAW. Instead all I got was Buffalo. If it wasn’t for your wings, I’d sell you to Canada for Windsor. 

You can’t dwell on the bad stuff forever; especially when this was a pretty big episode of RAW. There wasn’t an epic match like Cena vs. Punk from last week, but those are a true rarity for any show. This week had tons of movement towards WrestleMania mixed in with some great nostalgia.

I dig the cold opening with Undertaker. He’s back. No promo, just the best entrance in wrestling history. That was enough to let everyone know business was picking up. Then the set up for the main event was pretty basic. No over complicating things as beating the Undertaker is now on par with being the main event at Mania. Let’s face it, many people will win WWE titles at future WrestleManias, but only one person will break the streak, if that ever happens. It’s the modern equivalent to slamming Andre.

Poor Cesaro gets the jobber entrance. Ryback is being heavily protected with good workers two weeks in a row. Last week his tosses Ziggler around, this week it’s the United States champ. A nice match, but there was nothing special here. I like Ryback in the opening hour as he has the energy, but is still learning how to be a bankable talent. I also like that they are positioning him for a match (and feud) with Mark Henry.

The World’s Strongest Man is one of the enjoyable parts of the WWE. He has become the best monster in the business. I truly believe he could wreck anyone in his path. He didn’t have a match as much as a persona cementing moment. It was good for what it was intended to do. When Ryback and Henry finally do collide, it should be a really fun match. I’m thinking opening hour of WrestleMania. Unless the Rock wants to use that time to cut a really long promo with no real point or purpose.

I could really care less about Zack Ryder. Just cause you want to be something, doesn’t mean you deserve to be it. I wanted to be a pro athlete growing up, but I didn’t have the talent. The same goes for Ryder and wrestling. He’ll make some good coin on the indy circuit in the future.

Flair is Miz’s mentor. Miz can’t do a figure four unless it is in slow motion. Dolph Ziggler is being jobbed like his name is Steve Lombardi. We have officially entered the twilight zone. It is always good to see the nature boy, and he’s great as a manager. Too bad he was in the wrong corner. I really hope he turns on Miz in the future. I bet he’d do it for a make out session with AJ. She’s his kind of crazy, and crazy chicks dig space mountain. The match was good, but again Miz is off his game. Luckily Ziggs picked up the slack. Hell, I swear I saw Dolph put the figure four on himself as Miz just stood there.

The Rock comes out and tells a drawn out story. His promos are like Mad Libs. Same stuff with a few new one liners sprinkled in. John Cena comes out and now the crowd is happy. The two they came to see are in the ring. Too bad there will still be 2 hours of show left. Don’t want wrestling to get in the way of Cena-Rock fest.

I didn’t like this segment one bit. It has this weird vibe to it. I can’t exactly put my finger on it. I felt like I was watching two guys court each other not for a fight, but for a Craig’s list hook up. The Rock tried to be serious and so did John Cena, and it came off as both being less that genuine. Maybe this should have stayed a once in a lifetime match. I have a feeling this sequel will be on par with Caddyshack 2.

The legends all got crammed into three segments. Why did Dusty and Slaughter come out with Hacksaw Jim Duggan to face Jack Swagger? A simple backstage segment between Hacksaw and Zeb could have helped get that over with the fans. Zeb could say Duggan isn’t a real American, and the two other legends could come to back Hacksaw up. It would have made the attack by Swagger make sense.

The same goes for Million Dollar Man. He and the Prime Time Player did something on the WWE app. Yet DiBiase doesn’t get more than a quick mention during what amounts to a glorified WWE Superstars match. I did like the hundred dollar bill bit, and Bryan sneaking back to take it was funny. The PTP are done. I have a feeling Titus is going to drop Young and begin a singles push. Young will begin his push for Zack Ryder’s spot.

Finally the Honky Tonk Man is maybe part of a six man tag with the dancing duo of Tensai and Clay. They crush 3MB. Honky gives the guitar shot to Slater. I actually liked the booking. Would have liked to see Honky with the New Age Outlaws in this same match, but it looks like Road Dawg and Mr. Ass have bigger plans. When Clay was playing the guitar he looked like a bloated New Jack.

I like Faaaaaan-Daaaaaaan- GO. Any other crowd and that segment was gold. I was surprised to see Kofi in the ring, but it makes sense with Fandango refusing to wrestle until the announcer gets his name right. This does two thing very well. First it is good heel heat to refuse to wrestle, and the second is it establishes his name with the audience. Like him or hate him, you know who he is. Now he can keep talking about how great he is, and people will get pissy cause he never gets in the ring to back it up. I hope this continues until after WrestleMania. I’d even do it on the internet pre-show before the PPV.

Triple H cut one hell of promo. He made this a very personal issue. Sure it was long winded, but by HHH standards it was short. This is the second week in a row that this feud has hit the bullseye. The description of Vince, his family, and Triple H’s inner feeling added a ton to essence of this match. I expect a brutal encounter during Mania.

Best Shield promo yet. Holy crap was that good. Seth Rollins is coming into his own, but again Ambrose steals the show. I don’t know how long they can stay together but the WWE has something special here. This could be the modern age version of the Horsemen. They’re that good.

Del Rio and Barrett had a good match. It was more to get Wade on television to promote his movie, and to get Del Rio a win as he builds towards Swagger. Zeb and Jack come out to watch. They aren’t touching Del Rio. It’s a small thing, but it will pay off in the long run. It helps Zeb sell his point as only Del Rio has been the one getting physical. This segment could have been an hour earlier and let the WWE break up the legends block in the 9 PM hour.

Uncle Zeb and Jack Swagger were all over the TV again. The WWE is really pushing them as top tier heels. The best part is Zeb. He is amazing on the mic, and he makes you hate him for every word he says because he almost sounds like he’s right because he is so vague. Yes people are not respecting our laws for immigration, but it is only because they are coming here for the same reason our fore fathers did, to find a better life for their family. I will be interested to see where this goes after Mania and Del Rio.

I love the New Age Outlaws. If this was a one shot deal then I would have put them with Honky Tonk man for the six man angle. It looks like the NAO could be back on a semi-full time basis. They still can bring it in the ring. Road Dawg is top five on the mic in the current WWE. Billy Gunn looks to be in better shape now than he did in the 90’s. They could sell a lot of merch, and a tag title run could do the WWE a lot of good. That was a really good match with the Colons to get them back in the groove as the next step looks to be a feud with the Rhodes Scholars.

I wouldn’t be opposed to a big tag team three way at Mania between Team Hell No, Rhodes Scholars, and The New Age Outlaws for the straps. That way Rhodes Scholars could win the titles without pinning the NAO, and then the next few months can be the Outlaws chasing the Scholars for the titles. If done right when NAO wins, it’ll blow the roof off the joint. Also it would elevate the tag division, which has been resurrected over the past few months from being a step above the Divas title.

Mae Young is cool. She’s old and she doesn’t give a shit. She deserves everyone’s respect. She’s like that old war vet at the bar that nobody messes with. I have no doubt that Mae will try to wrestle when she is 100.

The fatal four way was cool. I think everyone kind of knew that Punk was winning, but how kept everyone watching. Again the Buffalo crowd crapped all over this. It was smart booking by the WWE as Punk has had a few bad losses lately, and if he is going to lose to Undertaker, then a win over Big Show, Orton, and Sheamus keeps him strong. I would expect a few more wins over big name talent for Punk in the future. He needs to look unbeatable going into Mania.

Overall a strong episode of RAW that set up HHH vs. Brock and Undertaker vs. Punk for WrestleMania. They trudged along with Cena and Rock. Uncle Zeb and Swagger continued their build towards Del Rio. Finally we even got a tease that Ryback and Mark Henry would collide soon. That is a lot accomplished for a show that was built around the older era of the WWF. If the WWE could do this much during a regular show, then the build to Mania would be in good shape.

We’re 33 days away, and I can’t wait. WrestleMania might be the most loaded card in years. The Hall of Fame is stacked. There are three to four matches that could close the show. Too bad Buffalo didn’t think so. I hope they enjoy their future of house shows. They’re the #52 media market in the country. Not a must hit for the WWE. Just run DC four times a year, and you’ll never have to go back. Buffalo can only blame themselves for this. They suck.

Dragon Gate USA Weekend: Johnny Gargano vs. Jimmy Rave

It's Monday! I'm wrapping up the Dragon Gate USA weekend today with the DGUSA champion. The belt above is a pretty damn cool looking title. I would say this belt is one of my favorites and is by far better than that WWE spinner belt. Then again I've seen indy belts made with aluminum and a bedazzler that looked better than that title.

I find it fitting that I wrap up DGUSA weekend today with an Old School Monday Night RAW tonight. Talk about two opposite ends of the spectrum. Then again I'd love to watch the late 80's/early 90's WWF stars try to do half the things the guys (and girls) from Dragon Gate USA pull off.

I don't know if Dragon Gate will ever be one of the top two promotions in the country. I don't believe they even want to be. Don't get me wrong, they would love to sell out 20,000 seat arenas. What I mean is that the promotion has never made serious attempts to secure a national television deal, and they haven't run a full slate of house shows like a TNA or WWE. I really think that their current iPPV and DVD business structure is what works best for the japanese off shoot. As long as the product in front of the camera doesn't change then I'm happy with that.

Today's match is a little older, but I couldn't do a DGUSA weekend without showing Johnny Gargano. He is probably the biggest home grown star for the promotion. He came in as part of a stable known as Ronin, and played second fiddle to Chuck Taylor (a funny funny guy). He ended up being the breakout star of the group and catapulted himself in the DGUSA title picture.

Over a year ago, like CM Punk, Gargano won his title and hasn't looked back. His biggest test is coming up at WrestleCon during WrestleMania weekend when he defends the title against japanese icon, Shingo. This will be a match that can't be missed. You can see it on iPPV for like 1/4 the price of WrestleMania. That's a helluva deal.

Now Gargano has not only become one of the best wrestlers in the promotion, but he has also become one of the best promo men on the independent wrestling circuit. Check out his latest promoting WrestleCon:

 

Johnny Gargano has become the total package. I'd go see him fast because pretty soon he'll only be seen in Tampa, Florida. If you don't believe me then check out today's match with indy main stay Jimmy Rave. It's a two parter, so sit back and enjoy!



 

 

That is a talented dude, and one of the reasons that DGUSA is successful. I hope you enjoyed this Dragon Gate USA weekend. I'll try do more weekends in the future with independent promotions and talent. Please leave any suggestions in the comment box, or click the contact link to drop me a line.

 

Also don't forget to swing by the Dragon Gate USA site and pick up some merch. It supports the cause and a small business. When you do that you help create jobs. That helps the country. Don't you want to help the country? Aren't you a Real American?

 

See that segway! Remember to check back tomorrow for my weekly Monday Night RAW review. It's Old School RAW tonight, which should be a fun show with all the stars for glory days passed. I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for our first Undertaker vs. CM Punk at WrestleMania encounter. That and more of Uncle Zeb's amazing mustache.

 

Until tomorrow remember this advice: Life's a work, duck the clothesline. 

The Walking Deadman

Most of the WWE house shows are a fun time but nothing ground breaking happens. There is some local flavor tossed in by the talent like Ric Flair talking about a bar he'll be at, or a bad guy making fun of the nearest university. It's fun for the whole family. You get some beers. You hit the merch tables. You might even get to see a glimpse of your favorite superstar outside the arena. But it isn't normal for ground shaking events to happen.

It's rare for a World title to change hands at a house show. It's unheard of for the WWE title to change hands. Hell, since the Rock became champ the WWE title hasn't even been to a house show. Yet last night in Waco, TX the fans got a huge surprise that nobody was expecting. The Undertaker returned!

It turns out Wade Barrett and Damien Sandow were talking smack to Sheamus. The Ginger Warrior said he had a partner backstage. Then the bells hit. You can see the entrance below:



Now the questions will begin. Was this his official return or was he just there because the show is a couple hours from his house? Will the Undertaker be at WrestleMania? Who will he face at WrestleMania? Why does crazy shit always happen in Waco, TX?

 

When it seemed that this would be a slow week, and all the attention was on Jack Swagger, the WWE pulls a quick one that turns the internet on it's head. The dirt sheets have been going nuts. I for one believe this is Taker sending a message that the rumors about him taking this Mania off are beyond false. He is coming to New York and he is going to put the streak on the line. The man he'll face looks to be CM Punk. That would mean this Monday that Punk loses to Cena, and we have the wheels set in motion for two big matchups at Mania.

 

Punk vs. Taker & Cena vs. Rock 2! Holy Crap!

 

Check back in tomorrow for my "Armchair Booker" article covering the Jack Swagger situation plus I'll touch on any new Undertaker news that might come out. Until then enjoy the Walking Dead tonight as Waco, TX enjoyed it last night.

Armchair Booker: When Taker Met Punk

Earlier this week I talked about the state of the WWE creative team and how Vince McMahon is fed up with the current direction of the WWE writers. I laid out a loose plan for how to fix what is broken. My keystone idea being that the WrestleMania 29 main event should be the Undertaker vs. CM Punk for the WWE title in a streak vs. streak match. With that in mind you can book the rest of your year to build toward that pinnacle point. I said I would go deeper into this idea, and share some of my booking beliefs that I used in starting two different regional wrestling television shows, both highly rated in their timeslots, and a series of nationally distributed DVDs. Let’s dive in.

CM Punk is the hottest talent on the WWE roster today. John Cena is the most established. There is a difference. Cena has a very loyal fan base, but CM Punk has a constantly expanding fan base. Not all of these people are supporters of Punk, but more people are putting eyes on Punk than Cena these days. Even the high brass at Comic Con said that Punk was a better draw for them this year than Cena had been in the past. Be it to cheer for him, or to watch him get beat up, more people are opening their wallets to see CM Punk. That is why he is the WWE champion, and that is why he needs to be at the top of the WrestleMania 29 bill.

The Undertaker is the hottest talent in WWE history. He can stay away from the WWE for months, and with a toll of his bell, the fans are rabid to see him walk the aisle. He might be the greatest persona in pro wrestling history, dating back to the original carnival days. His undefeated streak at WrestleMania makes him a top draw each year. People want to see what is going to happen next, and at 20+ years, they don’t know which match is his last. This built in hype, and near god-like status, makes the Undertaker a necessity for the main event at WrestleMania 29. He’s a draw by just walking out the curtain, and that’s a great foundation to build on.

The two also have a small history. It’s only a few minutes on the CM Punk “Best in the World” DVD, but it was Undertaker vs. Punk for the world title after Summer Slam that cemented the disrespect the WWE brain trust had for Punk. They took a hot talent coming out of a sizzling feud, and fed him to the phenom. On the DVD they state that Taker had no respect for Punk going into their program, but over time that changed. It’s a great starting point given the current “No Respect” card being played by CM Punk. The standard bearer of the WWE is the only man left standing in the way of CM Punk getting the respect he believes that he deserves. The kind of respect that can’t be denied after beating the Undertaker at WrestleMania.

This is one of the many drawing factors for this match. There is the streak vs. streak dynamic. The Undertaker is 20-0. That is something in the current WWE that will never happen again. To get a talent that stays with the WWE for over two decades, and a creative team that handles that talent correctly the entire time, you’d have a higher success rate betting on Tammy Sytch staying out of prison. This will never happen again. Never. The uniqueness of the situation is another draw in itself. It’s like watching a comet that flies by the earth every millennium. It will never happen again during our life time. Things like this make money in any medium.

CM Punk is also doing something that will never happen again. He’s closing in on one year as WWE champion. That is something that doesn’t happen in the era of fans that have a train of thought only 140 characters long. By WrestleMania 29, he’ll be closing in on 18 months. It’s another unheard of situation that on its own draws people in. There will be fans who tune in because they don’t know when and if CM Punk is going to end the longest title reign since Hulk Hogan’s 1474 days between 1984-88. That’s before The Undertaker was lacing up his boots as “Mean” Mark Callous in WCW (1989). It’s a big deal.

As I stated earlier this week, it creates an unstoppable force vs. immovable object type of situation. Fans will tune in because they know something historic is going to happen. Neither looks to be giving ground, but one has to end. The mystery of the unknown has always been the best way to attract fans in pro wrestling, even more now in the “know-it-all” era. Add this dynamic to the draw both CM Punk and The Undertaker on their own have, and this angle has the steam to drive WrestleMania sales to record levels.

Just because you have the angle doesn’t mean you’re going to be a success.  Two things have to happen. The build to the match has to be good and the match has to deliver. You can’t promise prime rib, and give the fans tube steak.

The build on this match needs to be drawn out from the first RAW after the Royal Rumble up to WrestleMania 29. The Rock and Punk are fighting at the Rumble. No need to play the Undertaker card until after that takes place. Rock vs. Punk is going to be a good draw on its own, and will play an important role in setting the table for Mania. This is the match that is supposed to get Punk his respect. Beating the Rock is going to change everything for him. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

Punk beats Rock, but it doesn’t fill the hole in his ego. There isn’t a red carpet when he walks through the arena door. The locker room isn’t kissing his feet as he strolls through the back. Vince McMahon isn’t his personal ball washer. What does CM Punk have to do?

Cue the Undertaker.

Each year the Royal Rumble winner selects which title he is going to challenge for. Usually the winner comes out at the end of RAW and him haws between the World title and the WWE title. Whomever the winner is plays up the crowd, tilting to both sides, until eventually narrowing in on one champion. I would start with this.

The winner comes out and before he can start the Undertaker interrupts. He comes down and lays out that it doesn’t matter who he wants to pick. This year the Rumble winner will be facing the World champion because the Undertaker wants CM Punk and the WWE title. If you’ve got a baby face winner then he does the noble thing, tips his hat to the Taker, and leaves the ring. If you’ve got a heel winner, then he gets tossed out on his ass, and runs to the back with tail between legs. It gets established early than the Undertaker has that kind of clout and aura to bend things to his will. He’s the true King shit in the WWE universe.

Cue CM Punk.

The two meet in the ring. Punk talks respect. Taker lets him know respect is only earned by going to hell and back. They jab at each other for a few minutes. Finally a deal is made with the devil, only hang up is which guy is the Devil? The stakes are high for both, and the buzz begins.

Now you’ve got roughly 9 weeks to build this match up. The Undertaker stays protected. He’ll make appearances here and there for a promo or a vignette, but he isn’t wrestling. You save that for Mania. Punk can carry this feud on TV. He’ll even prove he’s better than the Undertaker by beating those victims of “The Streak”.

The next few weeks on RAW, a former WrestleMania opponent of the Undertaker gets rolled out to be taken down by CM Punk. Do the low hanging fruit first with the older legends like Snuka, Jake Roberts, or Sid that the WWE can send out for a cheap one night pop. Then move into the active roster opponents by having him face all the old opponents in an elimination chamber. That would be Kane, Orton, Tensai, Mark Henry, and Big Show. When Punk comes out champion, he can claim he beat five of Takers “victims” in one night. It also fills the required need for an Elimination Chamber match before Mania.

Finally the homestretch leading up to Mania is Punk being confronted by HHH, HBK, Nash, and Flair. He can run all four men down. He can talk about doing what they couldn’t. He has held the WWE title longer than any of them. Now he’s going to end the streak that claimed their careers. Its four weeks of dueling promos that should help build up the intensity of this match. The last two weeks then are spent drawing both the Undertaker and CM Punk into a collision course, with the closing moments being a face to face showdown filled with pipe bombs and near blows. They shouldn’t physically get involved, just tease it. Both men need to leave the ring with their head held high exuding the confidence that come Sunday they’ll have their hand raised.

The actual match is where the true magic and shock happens. First I would start the match entrances at 9:30 PM. The earlier start will have the smart fans wondering what is going on. They’ll believe that there is something big coming. It’s just too early to begin the main event.

The two will then wrestle for sixty minutes. It’s the kind of match the current WWE audience has never seen. Punk, if you’ve followed his career, is a master at the sixty minute match. He understands the pacing and how to protect somebody like the Undertaker, whose age can limit him. For an entire hour the two go to war. They pull out all the stops with false finishes, brawls outside the ring, etc. Then the bell rings to signify that time has expired. The match is a draw. Punk keeps his title, and The Undertaker is still undefeated. The fight doesn’t stop though.

As the bell rings they keep trading blows. The ref tries to pull them apart, and he’s laid out. They continue to fight all over the place because to them only one man is walking out tonight. More officials and security try to stop it, and they’re laid out too. For a good ten minutes Taker and Punk either fight each other or those trying to get between them. Finally the two fight on to the main stage trading big blow after big blow. Each man trying to finish the other with one big shot, their bodies broken and bloody. Then in the end, on their knees, they trade fists, chops, and head-butts. Finally, leaning on each other tossing noodle fists with both gas tanks empty, Taker and Punk collapse next to each other laid out on the main stage.

As WrestleMania ends officials, paramedics, and staff surround the two as double stretchers are wheeled out. Both men being checked on and eventually wheeled out as Punk holds a thumbs up in the air. He didn’t beat the Undertaker at WrestleMania, but he did something nobody has ever done. He survived him.

People will tune in the next night. Sure there will be fans that don’t like a draw finish, but it’s the one thing the WWE can do to protect the Taker’s streak, and pass the torch to the next generation before it is too late. It’s something nobody will see coming, and a moment that will cement the legacy of both men like what happened for Hogan and Andre at WM3.

You keep both men off RAW the next night to sell the brutality. The next week you promote the appearance of Punk the following week on RAW. Finally on the third RAW after Mania, you have Punk come out to address the fall out. This can lead to a new feud or it can start planting the seeds for their rematch at WrestleMania 30, probably both.

No matter what, if this was to happen it would always be remembered as the night Taker met Punk.

Armchair Booker: It’s All About WrestleMania

I haven’t really been in the wrestling loop the past few weeks. I even took a break from the internet for the weekend. Sometimes it is nice to be hold up in a spot that doesn’t even have cell phone reception. It lets you clear out your head, which is highly recommended at least once a year. Like an oil change for the brain. Then I came back Tuesday and waded back into technology. The first thing I saw was about CM Punk back fisting a fan. That made me hit the dirt sheets to find out more. The second thing I learned was that Vince McMahon verbally undressed his writers and gave the brain trust of the WWE creative team a swift kick in the pants. While the first had more sizzle, the second has more impact.

As far as CM Punk and the fans go, sucks that the guy got hit, but why didn’t he do anything to stop the mob of fans from pushing Punk down the stairs? Change the setting for a second. Take the WWE, Wrestling, and Fans out of the equation and look at it for what it was. If a guy is trying to be pushed down the stairs by a handful of people, and you’re standing less than a foot behind the person then isn’t doing nothing just helping those morons push the person down the stairs? It’s like the end of Seinfeld when they watched a guy get mugged but didn’t do anything about it. They went to jail, and this kid tasted the back of Punk’s hand. Justice is justice.

The kid who got hit isn’t pressing charges. Good for him. He didn’t have the balls to standup to the people around him who were trying to physically injure a person for their enjoyment. Maybe next time he’ll grow a pair and not let a guy get kidney punched & pushed down a flight of stairs. When we were kids and we did stupid shit then a smack on the head reminded us to not be an idiot. Seems this fan got exactly that. Had he stepped in and stopped a douchebag from being a douchebag then he wouldn’t have gotten a smack on the head. Lesson learned here: Grow a pair and don’t get smacked like a bitch.

Now onto the bigger news from the week: Vince McMahon is beyond pissed with the creative team, including preparing to diminish the role of his two senior writers and promoting some of the new blood. If you’ve been visiting this website for the past few months then you know I have no love loss for the creative team at World Wrestling Entertainment. They are old, tired, and burnt out. They haven’t produced a meaningful piece of television since maybe RAW 1000, and that really wasn’t their doing. This could be the transfusion of energy that the WWE as a whole needs to get over this stale hump they find themselves in.

It would seem that the WWE is under pressure from NBC to turn around ratings that have been in free fall since the switch to three hours and the beginning of the NFL season. The biggest issue being with the creative team that has the success rate of a drunken Ray Charles tossing darts. They could barely produce content for two hours of RAW and it hasn’t gotten any better by stretching the show to three hours. Some would say that the lack of compelling content also lies at the feet of the talent, which has a big drop off after the top tier of wrestlers on the roster. I believe that problem is also something you can attribute to the current creative team at the WWE.

There are undiscovered gems in the WWE right now. Their developmental system is stockpiled with future stars. Dean Ambrose, Kassius Ohno, Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt, and Luke Harper are just some of the future talents that the WWE creative team hasn’t unleashed yet. The main reason being that creative has nothing for them on the main show just yet. How can you call yourself creative if you can’t create? That is why the WWE is in its current situation. They have a whole team that can’t do what their name suggests. It’s like football players who can’t play football.

Now the reboot has started. New minds are being put in charge. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a slew of firings and hirings that take place over the next few weeks. Somebody once told me it is never nice to talk about people losing their jobs. Then again if they did their job right, they wouldn’t be losing it. Nobody has ever a fucked up a situation by doing it correctly.

Since this is an Armchair Booker article then I’m going to lay out how I believe it is done correctly. I’ve never worked for the WWE. I’m pretty sure I’ll never work for the WWE. Not to say I wouldn’t like the job. I just don’t see it in my cards. First off, I’ve never written a sitcom. Second, I still call sports entertainment pro wrestling. In my opinion Sports Entertainment has never pulled a 5 share, but Pro Wrestling has. There is a difference between the two.

To start the WWE needs to build their WrestleMania. I would believe this has happened. It’s creative writing 101. You need to know your destination before you can map out your path. Not to say that the WWE should have the entire show timed out with detailed segments, but a rough idea of the four main events on the show should be hashed out by now. Honestly this should be done before Summer Slam.

Without knowing what you’re building to then what direction are your current shows pushing towards? Without direction you’re drifting. Having your four main events for WrestleMania planned gives you something solid to begin building on. The middle stuff, or filler, can be hashed out later, but these main events need to be what drives the WWE car from day one. If you know you’re doing Cena vs. Rock 2 then Summer Slam & beyond needs to keep that in mind.

I for one would actually stay away from Rock vs. Cena at WrestleMania. The Rock is coming back at Royal Rumble. His initial draw for WrestleMania is being used up by that appearance. Some fans will tune in to see him at Mania, but his real effect will be seen at the Rumble. Unless he is going to return fulltime, then his value depreciates with appearances that close together. He has a high burn rate, and two months apart is too close to be a double draw.

From what I can tell you have The Rock signed on for Mania. You also have Brock Lesnar. Add into the mix The Undertaker, HHH, John Cena, and CM Punk. Those are your drawing six. They will sell the majority of tickets and PPV buys. Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Randy Orton, and Albert Del Rio are your second tier draw. They will move tickets and buys on their own, but nothing that tips the needle. I for one think by Mania that Bryan could be a draw, but right now he’s stuck in that limbo between the two. That is the ten talents you can build your show on.

To start I would determine what is the best possible true main event to close the show. This is the match that will sell the most and provides true sizzle. To me that takes HHH vs. Brock & Cena vs. Rock out of the picture. These sheep have both been sheared. They’ll push some sales but they no longer have the shine they once had. In fact I wouldn’t do either match on the card.

The Rock is a one match per talent type of wrestler right now. He gets the most bang for his buck when you can give him somebody fresh to feud with. He also needs to win at WrestleMania. It keeps his ego happy. Who is better for the Rock than Daniel Bryan? Bryan can protect Rock’s ring rust plus he has shown he can get over with any gimmick they give him. Rock vs Bryan has some roots in RAW 1000, and could be a solid 9pm hour main event. This is a really hot match that will blow a lot of fans away and is a possible show stealer. This slot on the card is the best place to put show stealers. It also puts a lot of pressure on your closing, or true main event, match.

John Cena is a draw for a select fan base. He has really burned out a good size portion of the fans. His true value is his hard work. He’ll never mail it in. That makes him the perfect bar setter. He should be the talent that is opening the show. He should be the man who says everyone has to be better than that tonight. That’s why I like Randy Orton vs. John Cena to open the show. They are both established talents. They have good matches with each other. Not putting either in a “Main Event” allows for a rehash of their feud. It’s not meant to be a ticket draw, but both have the ability to set the tone for the evening. That is very important for a big show. It might be why I have always considered the first match of a show as the second most important match behind the main event or closing match.

As for HHH, he’s going to wrestle. I just don’t think it should be Brock Lesnar. Their rematch should happen before WrestleMania. I would much rather see him in the ring with an Albert Del Rio. It’s fresh and the angle writes itself. ADR is HHH when he began. He’s a rich pompous ass with tons of talent. They can do a feud based around ADR being a younger HHH. The young lion will prove that the old lion isn’t who he used to be. The old lion will claim the young lion is him without the experience. They’re both good on the mic, and in the ring it should be a good story. I would say this is tailor made for the 7pm Main Event. Nice solid match up to keep building the night on. It will sell tickets.

With Brock free to fight then he needs to be tossing fists with the man who loves to fight, Sheamus. The young Irishman is being primed to be a top draw. He needs a blockbuster feud. The two would work very well together. Sheamus is a good rough and tough baby face. Brock is a great heartless bully. Their physical styles should mesh well together. Placing them as the 8pm Main Event should help protect them from any potholes. It’s the safest main event slot on the show.

That leaves the closer for the show. I for one would be keeping the title on CM Punk. He is a draw. Simply put, if he and John Cena stopped working for the WWE, then the company wouldn’t have a true ticket seller on the roster. He has a built in big match with Royal Rumble coming up. Punk vs. Rock will have an amazing buy rate. I explained a little above.

Personally I think giving Punk the win at the Rumble does a lot more for the WWE than having Rock win. First it establishes Punk as the man. Second it extends a title reign that will be hard to build again. One year plus makes it so that people will want to see if tonight is the night he drops the strap. Third, it allows for a matchup at WrestleMania that will be a true draw: Undertaker vs. CM Punk for the WWE Championship – Streak vs. Streak.

When Mania rolls around the Undertaker has built in buzz. His streak is something of legend. Another big streak is the days that CM Punk has been champion. A matchup that features the immovable object vs. the unstoppable force is always a draw. In this case it is streak vs. streak. If they meet, then one has to end. Will the Undertaker go 20-1, or will CM Punk have his nearly 18 month title reign ended? You’ll have to pay to find out!

Not only are the two names by themselves big draws. Not only are they going to put together an amazing match. They have the mystery about their finish that adds to the fire. Nobody truly knows who is going to win, and in today’s era of dirt sheets that is a rare commodity. It’s the kind of perfect storm that sets WrestleMania sales records.

The CM Punk vs. Undertaker WrestleMania match is something I have thought hard about. I actually have a creative writing mock-up of the feud. I will be putting that out in the next few days. Check back for the details on that. If I was booking it I would do something that no fan was expecting.

These five matches are the loose skeleton that the WWE can use to build their WrestleMania. There is a solid opener, and four top notch main events. The closing match is a draw that pulls from a variety of angles. This sets the table for the rest of the year, and allows for the WWE to begin pushing toward this end result. As I said earlier, they’ll have a destination and now they can map out the path. Just never forget, it’s all about Wrestlemania.

Monday Night RAW: I'm A Paul Heyman Guy

I want to start off by wishing Jerry “The King” Lawler a speedy recovery from his heart attack. I still remember when I was 19 and I got the call that my dad had been rushed to the hospital for an emergency quadruple bypass.  It’s a long road to full recovery, but if anyone can win this fight it is the king.

Also I want to recognize all those who lost their lives, or their loved ones, on this day eleven years ago when a group of religious zealots acted like cowards by flying two planes into the towers, another into the pentagon, and brave Americans made sure a fourth never made it to its destination. I woke up that morning late for class at college. I rushed to get there without knowing what had happened. I got to class and I was the only person there. This was before smart phones and Facebook. I waited for a half hour for people to show up but nobody did. So I walked out of class and noticed nobody was on campus. I poked my head into the lounge and saw a large group crowded around the TV. That’s when I learned about the attacks.

I later that day got a job delivering pizzas. I dropped out of college, and got back into pro wrestling. I decided that college could wait because I had a dream to be a wrestler, and 9/11 proved to me that at any moment your time to live your dreams can be taken away. I spent five years chasing my dream, making tons of great memories, and then I went back to college to achieve new dreams. To me 9/11 will always be the day my eyes got opened to the reality that the time we have on this planet is shrinking by the moment.

Now on to the lighter side of life: Monday Night RAW. Normally I would break down all the different parts of RAW but really this was the CM Punk show. There was some stuff that quickly developed a few undercard matches for Night of Champions this Sunday, but really this PPV is a one match show.

I am a fan of Daniel Bryan and Kane being a tag team. I like that they are doing the reluctant partners storyline. I have a feeling they become tag champions this Sunday. For a division that has been left to drift, this could be a blessing. I also like them using the choke slam/cannonball as a finisher. Imagine when they come together as team and Bryan runs in asking to be choke slammed. The crowd will pop. Hell, imagine a top rope choke slam bomb by Kane & Bryan. It will be awesome.

Then there was the stupid Sheamus/ADR storyline. Why is a kick banned? It’s a kick. They have dropped the ball on this one. Also the two GMs are stupid. I hope the rumors that they are both getting fired is true. They need to get that whole situation fixed, and quick. Finally Cody looks to be facing Miz for the IC title. Talk about tossing something together quick.

Yeah there is more that happened on RAW but none of it really mattered. It was place holder stuff. Hell I think CM Punk took up almost 40% of RAW last night. He was the opening promo, he was the whole 9 o’clock hour, and he was the show closing promo. Let’s break all of that down.

The opening promo was good. Punk has gone full blown egomaniac. I like that he talks about how if he was the champ back in 97 that he would have sunk the WWE and jumped ship to WCW. Too bad the attitude era wasn’t started in Montreal. Most would say it began when WCW had the NWO and it forced the WWE to go away from campy character wrestling.  So Punk would have just been another part of that need to go extreme. He should just ask Paul Heyman about why ECW was brought in for a few RAWs. Overall the opening segment was good, and did what it needed to set the table for the end of the show.

The 9 o’clock hour was a decent match between Punk and Orton, then an angle tag match between Orton/Lawler & Ziggler/Punk. I love how they are handling the Punk and Heyman “alliance”. Nobody knows why they are together. All we know is that Punk is a Heyman guy. We also know that Brock hates Cena because he lost to him a few months back.

Finally it seems that Punk is going to be champ going into the Royal Rumble. There is a Survivor Series PPV between now and then. Imagine an old school Survivor Series match with Punk & Brock on one team and Cena & Rock on the other; then maybe toss in 6 others talents. I suggest HHH, HBK, and Undertaker on team Cena. The other three for Punk & Brock can be other “Heyman” guys.

Ziggs lost to Orton. Again. Hopefully this means on PPV that Ziggs will finally pick up a win against the Viper. If not then I have no clue what creative is thinking. Their MITB winner shouldn’t be jobbing out to the guy who might not be there next month.

The last part of the show was about trying to get Cena over as the face with the help of Bret Hart. John Cena gave one hell of promo to Punk. The two have a great chemistry in every aspect. By the end the Montreal crowd was very pro Cena. It was a really strong finish to the show and probably sold a lot of people who were on the fence about this PPV.

I also like having Bret Hart punch out CM Punk. Cena makes the original save to pop the crowd, and then Hart is on the defense to block the second attempt. It’s one shot from one of the greatest in the world, and Punk peppers out of the ring. It is the perfect way to handle it because Hart shouldn’t be able to hang with the champ, but a good shot to the jaw works at being believable.

This Sunday will be interesting. Traditionally on these middle of the road PPVs, the guy standing tall on the last RAW is the guy losing the match. By that math it would be CM Punk who slithers out after Sunday night. I think there will be more Heyman interaction. I also think the Boston crowd will be a great crowd for this match. It may be the most pro-Cena crowd the WWE has.

Monday Night RAW hasn’t been knocking it out of the park. Last week was a place holder besides the very end segment. This week it was all about Punk. Once this PPV is over, and we move on to Hell in a Cell, I would believe things should pick up to compete with Monday Night Football. If the WWE waits until their build for Survivor Series, then it could be too late. Then again next Monday is coming together as a can’t miss show because something big is brewing for this Sunday. When it comes to good RAWs, I find it’s the mystery that sells the best. That is why I’m a Paul Heyman guy.  

Game Over?

This week Hunter Hearst Helmsley shed a tear, and walked away from the WWE ring. He gave a speech about not wanting to be the guy that stayed past his expiration date. He did it because at Summer Slam, when the fans were supposed to say goodbye to the Game, the crowd chanted “You Tapped Out”. He couldn’t let the faux retirement of HHH go unnoticed and mocked.

The worst kept secret in the WWE is that by WrestleMania Triple H will return to claim his pound of flesh from Brock Lesnar. Hunter, and the WWE creative, needed the fans to know that Brock uncrowned the King of Kings, so that in a few months they’ll care when he comes back to get his crown. Now for the next few months the WWE has a giant hole where their Summer Slam main event used to be as the talents involved are nowhere to be seen.

It would seem that with limited dates in Brock Lesnar’s contract that the WWE is doing their best to stockpile appearances of Lesnar to put together a solid program leading up to the biggest show of the year. It had been talked about that the rematch would happen at Survivor Series but, for the same reason HHH needed to waste 20 minutes of our time this Monday, his ego can’t let him be overshadowed. Just as he needs to go out swinging, he needs to be a part of WrestleMania 29. He needs to be on the same card as The Rock, Undertaker, CM Punk, and John Cena. He can’t sit in the back wearing a suit as others soak up his lime light. Not on Hunter’s watch.

He headlined Summer Slam, and damn it he’ll headline WrestleMania too!

No person truly believes HHH is done. The WWE will continue to sell it. He’ll stay off TV because who cares about the rest of 2012. Yet when the time comes to collect bigger pay checks, the talent showing up every week will be pushed aside for Hunter and his man crush on Brock Lesnar. It simply can’t end the way it did. It can’t end with the fans chanting “You Tapped Out”. It can’t end with the Game walking out, tears streaming from his face. It has to end in the ring at WrestleMania. It’s the only option for a man with a bigger ego than his nose.

Now we will sit and wait. We’ll watch as the WWE prepares for The Rock. We’ll see the twists and turns of CM Punk as he toes the line between good and evil. We’ll hope that the two are on a collision course at the Royal Rumble. Then when we’ve almost forgot about HHH, he’ll come back. He’ll probably even get inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Then he’ll do what he does best, and eclipse all the months of work by those keeping the WWE afloat as he picks and chooses his spots.

It is what he has done for the past year. When CM Punk was red hot, who stepped up to face him? Triple H. When the Undertaker needed an opponent to go 20-0, who was there to meet him at WrestleMania? Triple H. When Brock Lesnar threatened the WWE, who stood in his way? Triple H. Now when WrestleMania rolls around who will be there to steal the spot light from the rest of the roster? Triple H!

As the Who song says, “New boss same as the old boss”. Yet unlike the title of the song, the WWE fans will be fooled again. They’ll continue to believe HHH is the top of the heap because he won’t let anyone else climb that high. Which is the same reason the WWE ratings and fan following hasn’t climbed any higher under his watch. Until HHH actually walks away and realizes he has already stayed past his expiration date, the WWE will continue to fall victim to their own hubris. It’s time that Hunter realizes that in 2013 this isn’t a storyline anymore, but a reality. One that is telling him it’s Game Over, and not Over in the way he thinks it means.

The Royal Rumble Conundrum

RAW 1000 is in the books. Everyone has had a few days to let the events that unfolded soak in. There were some cool moments that won’t do much going forward like the DX reunion or the Brothers of Destruction reunion. There were some immediate impacts like Brock Lesnar accepting HHH’s challenge for Summer Slam and AJ Lee being named the new RAW GM, which starts next week. Then there was a big bomb dropped that the first PPV of 2013 will be The Rock challenging whoever is holding the thirty pounds of gold known as the WWE title at the Royal Rumble.

This revelation got a lot of people excited as it looks that the WWE will be building to a CM Punk vs. Rock title match at one of the WWE’s premiere pay per views. Those of us eagerly awaiting this match up got to wet our appetites with an amazing ending to RAW 1000 when Punk attacked Rock leaving him laid out in the middle of the ring as the show closed. Now for the next few months the build will begin, and it will be epic. Yet there is one important question that I keep asking myself:

Will CM Punk vs. The Rock for the WWE title push the Royal Rumble from the main event slot?

As long as I can remember the Rumble has always closed the show, but this is The Rock challenging for the belt against what will be one of the longest reigning champions in WWE history. It has to be the main event. What if Rock loses? What if Rock wins? These are both big moments that will almost be impossible to follow. These moments are finales, not lead ins.

The same can be said for the Royal Rumble itself. It is the name of the show after all. It traditionally crowns the challenger for the WWE title at the WrestleMania. In this case the person who will face possibly The Rock for the title at WrestleMania. That’s another huge moment. That is a definite show closing event.

A case can be made for both, but I still believe the actual Rumble has to close the show. To bump it for a part time talent, even one as big as The Rock, would dwarf its importance. Plus knowing who the champ is going into the Rumble adds excitement, especially if that champ is The Rock.

Just imagine at the end of the PPV if Cena and The Undertaker are in the ring and The Rock is the champ. How hyped will that crowd be as Cena and Taker battle for a shot at the biggest WrestleMania main event in the past decade? Cena fans would want their hero to get a shot at redemption for last year’s Mania. And what would be bigger than Rock putting the title on the line against the Undertaker’s streak? Either would be a HUGE draw for an event that is always stacked. I’m getting goose bumps thinking about it.

If any match can follow CM Punk vs. The Rock, it is the Royal Rumble. The way the match is built is perfect to follow such a big time title match. The rumble is long with a variety of twists and turns. The rumble can take the first twenty minutes to let fans catch their breath and reset before kicking into high gear. The multiple entrances and mystery of each entrant adds suspense to keep a crowd locked in, something a normal match would struggle with following Punk/Rock.

This is why when January rolls around it should be the WWE title match kicking off the 9PM hour and the Rumble closing the show. This layout creates the perfect two hour rollercoaster of a huge high followed by a low, and finished with an even bigger high. It should make this year’s Royal Rumble one of the best pure wrestling events in recent memory because the 8PM hour will still have a good World title match, and some kind of placeholder match like a six Diva tag. All in all it should be a great ride, which is all you can ask for in a PPV.

The rumors have it that Punk will drop the title to The Rock, and then Rock will face Cena at Mania. That’s the rumors, and those rumors have to survive six more months. A lot can change between now and then, but one thing that shouldn’t change is the Royal Rumble lineup. It should be the WWE title match leading into the Rumble, and not the other way around. It just makes more sense. Then again this is the WWE, and making sense has never been at the top of the priority list.

It's Here

It’s a big day here at G.R.o.W. as not only is WWE celebrating the 1000^th episode of Monday Night RAW, but I just found out my wife & I are expecting our first child. To say my brain is focused elsewhere is an understatement. Yeah, I’m going to be somebody’s father. The same guy who once got busted open the hard way by a clown with coconut in a Warren, MI YMCA. God save us all. The wife and I are very excited to say the least.

I have been sitting here trying to focus on writing something for tonight, but my mind keeps wandering. As Ice Cube would say, “Today was a good day”. Even better, tonight is going to be a good night.

It’s hard not to get expectations high when you keep hearing all the rumors coming out of St. Louis going into tonight’s big show. At 8PM is the reunion of DX, and not just HBK & HHH, but pretty much all of DX. Even if they just strut around the ring, dropping catch phrases for twenty minutes, it will be a great sight to see.

Then on top of that is the reunion of Brock and Heyman as Lesnar returns to RAW to answer HHH’s challenge for Summer Slam. Spoiler alert: He’s gonna eventually say yes, but the build-up is half the fun. Just seeing the monster with his Dr. Frankenstein in the ring is going to be enough to sell me on ordering Summer Slam. Which I would have done anyway.

Moving down the list is the conclusion to the Heath Slater angle that has actually helped Slater become more than just another sheep in the herd. He has shown some charisma, and could be valuable as a lower card heel that believes he is a main eventer. The biggest rumor of the weekend is that tonight Slater will come face to face with the biggest RAW superstar in the history of the program, Stone Cold Steve Austin. I for one will still hold out hope for Nature Boy Ric Flair, but a few stunners never hurt anyone. Plus when Heath hears the glass, he’ll know it’s his ass.

What you mean there is more? You betcha as we get a brand new GM for RAW and Smackdown. This gets lost in the shuffle, but it really does a lot to establish the direction of the WWE going forward. This is a character that has multiple storylines going on over two different shows. It is a person who can feud with the lowest of the card, and also get into it with the champions. That kind of versatility can’t be ignored. Fingers are crossed for Paul Heyman; if it’s William Regal I’ll also be pleased. Don’t sleep on this segment as it could do more leading up to WrestleMania than anything else we see tonight.

Holy crap there is even more! Did you know the Rock is going to be on tonight? Yeah, the great one is gonna be talking about Pie, plus I bet he has something more to do. He has sure been talking about challenging for the WWE title on twitter a lot. Hint Hint. Even if all he does is come down and talk for 5 minutes that is going to be another can’t miss moment. Notice a theme with tonight.

There can’t be any more can there? I don’t know, what about the Undetaker? Yeah the greatest character in pro wrestling history is going to be there tonight. He hasn’t been seen since he survived HHH at Mania. Tonight should point towards the next step in the streak as Taker isn’t a fulltime talent, but a guy rolled out for only the big moments. He’s not showing up for a photo opportunity, he’s in St. Louis to handle business.

And the hits keep on coming as Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee will tie the knot. Well maybe tie the knot. Nothing is ever certain in wrestling and weddings. They have been an up and down couple since Bryan dumped AJ after WrestleMania. Will AJ or Daniel get cold feet? Will another superstar have something to say about these two getting hitched? Or will they walk the aisle into happiness? No matter what it's going to be a major event. Plus who doesn't want to see what kind of dress the queen of crazy is going to wear. And will Bryan have a vegan cake? That's just wrong.

The list of other attractions is almost never ending, but on top of everything already listed is the WWE title match between CM Punk and John Cena. Not only is this the two biggest names in the business hooking up on free TV, but there is something at stake for both men’s reputations. Punk is putting his title on the line with 240+ days as champion. Cena is cashing in the Money in the Bank contract, and could be the first to ever do so unsuccessfully, because he took the honorable route by doing it against a fresh opponent. This looks to be the crowning jewel of a very exciting night. At the end we could have a new champion, or we could have the beginning of a modern dynasty as Punk has laid waste to almost every major star on the fulltime roster.

Does the Rock lay in wait for either man? Undertaker? Brock? It seems that RAW 1000 is going to celebrate the past while lighting the way for the future. If you’re a pro wrestling fan then tonight is your Superbowl, World Series, and Quidditch cup all rolled into one. Tonight don’t DVR RAW, watch it live. You’ll want to ride this rollercoaster with the rest of us. Only a few more hours until the whole wrestling world is thrown for a loop or two. And if you’re not down with that we got two words for you … TUNE IN!

Arm Chair Booker: RAW 1000

(courtesy of WWE)

If you didn’t know that I’m excited for the 1000^th episode of WWE Monday Night RAW, then you better ask somebody! To me this episode maybe a bigger show than the past two Wrestlemanias. It feels like a restart for the company. As if next week all the mistakes they have made over the past few years will be washed away and this new reality era, akin to the attitude era or the Hogan era, will mature into something special. It was only a year ago that this all began with CM Punk dropping pipe bombs all over the WWE Universe. Now this era has grown up and is ready to launch the WWE into a new dynasty of fresh gifted talent.

Today I want to look into the future a few days and make my suggestions for what should happen on this week’s episode of Monday Night RAW. Now you can be certain of this, 98.9% of this will probably not happen. It just is fun to get your hopes up like a kid the day before your birthday, and wonder what gifts will await you. Sure you can hope for a copy of “Wrestling Road Diaries”, but in reality you’re probably getting socks & an ice cream cake.

The DX Reunion

This is going to kick off the show. On the graphic they have HBK and HHH, yet it looks to be a full blown reunion as the New Age Outlaws, X-Pac, and even Chyna have been rumored to be in the building. It will be great to see all of them in the ring at the same time, cutting the old catch phrases, and crotch chopping until Chyna’s penis falls off. Yet this should also be when Brock Lesnar makes his first appearance.

Monday Night RAW is going to be starting at 8 from now on. People need to be trained to learn to not miss the first hour. That means for the next few weeks, and probably months, big things need to happen during the 8 PM hour. Having Brock destroy the Outlaws, X-Pac, and even Chyna before getting run out by HBK and HHH, will sure heat things up.

It also plays into the rumor that later in the show Brock will face off with HBK in a match. That would be something really special for RAW 1000. Especially if it goes longer than 5 minutes, which it won’t as they will use it to injure HBK and establish HHH/Lesnar as a blood feud.

Heath Slater vs. The Legends

This is the big payoff for Heath Slater. He has lost to almost every legend that has walked down the ramp. This week, when he loses, he needs to lose to somebody BIG. I have read on the internets that the money pick here is the Ultimate Warrior as a reenactment of Warrior’s IC title win at SummerSlam ’88. That would be cool, but there is somebody even bigger who can walk that aisle and pop the crowd for a minute or two.

The Nature Boy Ric Flair!

He isn’t under contract with TNA anymore and he is tailor made for this kind of payoff. The WWE audience only remembers old Flair, not bleed buckets TNA Flair. When his old school music hits and he struts that aisle in a blinged out robe, the building will lose their minds. Then he’ll do a series of chops, a bad back body drop, a cheap shot, and a figure four. Slater will tap like a fool, and Flair will walk back up the aisle. It’s the payoff this angle deserves.

Piper’s Pit

On Twitter this week, the Rowdy one said he wants to give CM Punk some advice backstage at RAW 1000. Why not also come on out and do a Piper’s Pit with, oh I don’t know, THE ROCK! Two of the best talkers in the business kicking off the 9PM hour will drive home that this is a big show. Most feel that Rock will be involved in the main event between Cena and Punk, yet he also needs to cut a promo to let the fans play sing-a-long with The Rock. This would be a great segment to build up the suspense of Rock wanting to challenge the winner for the title at SummerSlam. If done right it can benefit Punk and Cena without having either come out until their match, building the anticipation for the match to a fevered pitch, while also allowing Piper & Rock to give fans a special moment.

The Wedding

I want to start this off by saying the wedding angle is overplayed and only slightly less worse than the pregnancy angle. The fact that this has come out of nowhere and has really only been simmering for two weeks, makes me cringe more. I think Daniel Bryan and AJ could have something special as a long term tandem. That being said, this shotgun wedding is gonna happen, which is why it should go off without a hitch. It won’t, but it should. They should have a bunch of special appearances, but no raining day heel or funny shenanigans like AJ getting cold feet.  

Have Bryan and AJ tie the knot and walk out a happy couple. Then have your nasty heel moment post wedding. Imagine Kane driving their limo as they leave for the honeymoon? The big red machine becomes the green monster of jealousy. It’s a stretch as the Miz or somebody else will probably do something to ruin it. These things tend to follow a retreaded plan.

The Undertaker

It’s rumored that he’ll return for at least the night. I don’t know exactly what he’ll do as the WWE tends to save his wrestling for once or twice a year. There also isn’t anyone who has raised the ire of the dead man lately.

I guess maybe a cool moment with Taker would be him coming out after Ryback destroys Jack Swagger with the two starring each other down as Ryback screams “Feed Me More”. It could plant the seeds for Ryback to possibly beat Taker at SummerSlam, which would be the origin for their streak vs. streak match at WrestleMania. The role of Taker will be an interesting one if he does show up.

The GM

Two words ... Paul Heyman. He & Brock have lawsuits against the WWE in storyline. He settles out of court for control of the shows. It gives him a role outside of Brock. It also gives Brock a power figure to help explain why he is off TV as much as he will be. This should be a no brainer, bit this could also be the role Ric Flair takes on if he isn't the legend pay off. Fingers crossed for Heyman. He's so good as a slime ball.

The IC Title

The fans voted and Christian will be defending his title on RAW. He should defend it against a returning Randy Orton. The two could have an amazing match, plus the Apex Predator’s return will be a big pop moment. Having Orton lose to Christian can only help elevate the IC title. It also can help begin the heel turn that Orton desires. Nothing turns the crowd against a guy like a sore loser. Christian is good at selling a beating, and having a mini-feud with Orton going into SummerSlam could be exactly what the doctor ordered. Christian gets a big win under his belt and Orton gets to be a bad guy, which fits him better. If it’s not Orton, then Wade Barrett would be a good choice too.

The World Title Picture

There are a lot of people who want to challenge Sheamus for the World title. There is Albert Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Rey Mysterio Jr, and probably Chris Jericho. Last week we saw Jericho face off with Ziggler, putting him as the defacto good guy in their confrontation. It looks like this might be the mix of talents that ends up being the trademark six man tag for RAW. Needing a sixth person for the match, I would look for the WWE to add Tensai to the mix since he is flirting with becoming Vickie Guerrero’s new boy toy. Yeah I just typed that.

On one side you have Sheamus, Mysterio, and Jericho. On the other you have ADR, Ziggler, and Tensai. They can do the fun six man stuff and Tensai can take a brogue kick, a code breaker, and 619 protecting ADR & Zigs. I would expect Guerrero to start using Tensai as way to soften up Sheamus so that Ziggler can cash in the MITB contract.

The WWE Title

If the intros for this match start any later than 10:30, somebody in the WWE creative team needs to have their head put on a pike like its Game of Thrones. This match needs tons of time because it will have a lot involved in it. If Cena does win, then Punk deserves twenty plus minutes to put him over as a testament to his 240+ day reign as champion. If Punk does win, then Cena deserves twenty plus minutes to put him over as a testament to Cena being the first MITB winner not to cash in successfully. Plus there will be appearances during this match. I am guessing Big Show, The Rock, and a few others.

Also Good Ole’ JR needs to be at the mic telling this story. Sorry Michael Cole and King, but even together they don’t come close to being in Jim Ross’s league. He does more to elevate a match than any announcer since Bobby Heenan. This should be a no brainer on the WWE’s part, especially if they are doing the whole RAW past, present, future gimmick all night.

I said it yesterday that the WWE needs Punk to win this match. It plays better for the company, and Cena just being on the show will bring in the same sales & fans as him being champ. Punk being champ allows for better matches, more diverse stories, and elevated talent. Call him Hollywood because CM Punk makes stars.

I just hope they don’t puss out and do a no decision because of interference only to have this match conclude at SummerSlam. Yet that is probably exactly how it will go with The Rock involved somehow.

The Ending Angle

RAW 1000 will have an ending angle. It might be tied in to the WWE title, or it might be free floating. It is being said that Vince wants something on par with the Summer of Punk or NXT. I say combine the two. Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and many other developmental talents are ready to revolutionize RAW. Having them close the show with some kind of angle will really catapult them into the spotlight. Maybe they start a feud with Cena, maybe they start a feud with Punk, or maybe they start a feud with both. New blood with tons of talent is exactly what this company needs.

Ambrose can talk and Rollins can wrestle. Together they can do a lot of damage. Imagine if the two ended up costing Cena the title and making him the first MITB winner to screw up cashing in the contract. Yeah that is some instant heat. Imagine Rollins and Ambrose vs. Punk & Cena, A.k.a. The Mega Powers 2012, as the undercard for SummerSlam, where the main event will be HHH vs. Brock. Yeah I’m getting goose bumps thinking about it.

No matter how you slice it, RAW 1000 is going to be a really fun show. It might be one we watch a few times to relive a lot of moments. 8 PM can’t get here fast enough, and that feeling alone is worth the price of admission in my book. Good God it feels great to be a wrestling fan this week.