A friend of mine lives his life by this motto, “Low
expectations leads to higher returns”. That is how I should have gone into the
1000th episode of WWE Monday Night RAW. I couldn’t help myself
because in my brain this was a can’t miss show. It was stacked with talent new
and old. There were already hyped segments in a WrestleMania size Main Event,
the reunion of DX, and Brock Lesnar answering HHH. As far as big nights go,
this had all the ingredients and more. Then I looked at my watch at 8:51 and
noticed there had been about 8 minutes of wrestling. That’s when I knew this
was going to be more of a talk show than a wrestling show. That’s when my
expectations came crashing down to earth.
The show wasn’t horrible; it was a walk down memory lane.
Now looking back at the show I can see this is exactly what episode 1000 should
be. The older talent isn’t going to light things up in the ring, and this wasn’t
the show to highlight the new guys. It was like going to a Huey Lewis concert
where you want to hear the old stuff so you can sing along. The new stuff is
just back burner material. Add in some storylines being advanced, and it wasn’t
a horrible show for what is was. It just wasn’t the WrestleMania caliber event
that most of us had hoped for.
Kicking it off with Vince McMahon was the right choice. This
is his baby, and he should be the one to welcome us all to his major milestone.
I liked that he kept it short and sweet.
DX is a fun time, but being a fan who watched every moment
from 1997 on, I can see how watered down they have become. Seeing Road Dogg,
Billy Gunn, and X-Pac was cool. Besides being there, only Road Dogg really
added to show. They did their shtick and looked to be having fun, which always
makes a segment more enjoyable for the viewers.
If Damian Sandow is supposed to be a smart guy, he sure does
some stupid stuff. I liked him the first time when he was Lanny Poffo calling
himself, The Genius. He walks into a ring with the five originators of WWE rule
bending faces, and doesn’t expect to have his teeth kicked in. He’s lucky he
didn’t eat a fame-asser, a pump handle slam, and an X-factor for his stupidity.
Somebody was going to get screwed with but a small part of me wishes it was
Sgt. Slaughter or Michael Cole for old times’ sake. Also a Rick Rude reference
wouldn’t have killed anyone either. He was a DX original, and he wasn’t bat
shit crazy like Chyna.
Last week I called 5 of the six men who would be in the
World title six man tag. The WWE has a script they follow when place holding a
title that doesn’t have a defined challenger. The six man tag is that. I can’t
stand having Ziggler and Jericho on the same team, but I guess having him be on
team Sheamus wouldn’t make sense either if he isn’t fully a face. He did get
screwed by Ziggs, so that made some sense. I’m thinking Sheamus vs. ADR vs. Rey
Mysterio at SummerSlam with Ziggler and Jericho going at it, so Y2J can make
Ziggler before he goes back on tour.
Having Jim Ross come out to call the six man was cool
because he is the best announcer in the RAW era. Wasting him in the 8 o’clock
hour was a mistake. He should have been saved to add more importance to the
main event. Especially with all the storytelling that happened between Punk and
Cena. Congrats on the payday JR, but shame on the WWE for not doing the right
thing, and having him stay there all night. Calling the main event was the bare
minimum they could have done, and the WWE screwed that up.
I’ll get into Charlie Sheen later. Also the product
placement through the night reminds me we aren’t in Kansas anymore. They need
to make money somehow. I guess trying hard with compelling storylines and
larger than life stars to get ratings back to attitude era heights so you can
charge more for ad buys is out of the question. Instead we get a sonic waitress
that has more camera time than Trish Stratus. There was also Mae Young’s son.
Creative can remember that, but they can’t remember that the Big Show shouldn’t
have a job because of a board of director’s order to fire talent who interfere
in a match between Cena and Johnny Ace. Good job guys.
Brodus Clay and Dude Love have a dance segment. Yes there
was match in between, but does it really count. I like Dude Love. His theme
song, just like Brodus’ song, makes me smile. I don’t think Swagger needed to
be abused like this. He is a former World champion. A former champion who took
two moves before starring up at the lights. Even Barry Horowitz could take more
than that.
Slick was a great surprise to lead the wedding. He’s an old
pro and showed it in his role. The wedding was just a bait and switch. AJ is
the new GM, and Daniel Bryan gets screwed. Actually I think we all got screwed
on this one. I love the AJ character. I just don’t love it as the all-powerful
GM. Johnny Ace got fired for being incompetent, but the solution was to give
all that power to a nut job with zero experience. Why not just elect a fan to
be the GM of the week? Then they can tout it.
It looked like Daniel Bryan was going to be moving up in the
world with The Rock and CM Punk. They had a great duel on the mic. I am geeked
for Punk vs. Rock at the Royal Rumble. When he named that PPV, I knew it was Punk
because it will take place right after Punk passes the one year mark as
champion. Then Bryan got Rock Bottomed, which is symbolic of his situation as
he went from being in the WWE title picture & marrying AJ to fighting
Charlie Sheen at Summer Slam.
I’m never one to root for a celebrity to be in a ring with a
wrestler. In reality Sheen should last 20 seconds before Bryan stretches him
into a pretzel. Then again it’s great for publicity. Sheen always draws media
attention, and Bryan is best suited for protecting Sheen in the ring to make
him not look like a total fool. I hope Daniel gets something out of this once
Summer Slam is said and done.
If the IC title changes hands and nobody cares, does it
count? Last night Miz beat Christian and the reaction by the crowd told the
story. He filmed a crappy straight to DVD movie and was rewarded with the IC
title. Santino hosts a bad internet show on WWE.com and he’s the US champ. I’m
starting to see the qualifications to be a champion in the WWE. Hopefully with
Miz as champ the IC title can get a boost because of Miz’s ability in and out
of the ring. Then again somebody might make Chaperone 2, and they’ll get the
title.
Paul Heyman is great in his role as Brock’s slime ball
spokesman. He and HHH have had some great back and forth exchanges. When
Stephanie came out I noticed she left her boobs in the attitude era. She looks
good still though. Having her jump Heyman was great too, but I would have loved
to see Brock get her cornered. The fight between HHH and Lesnar was fun, but I
still have trouble believing Lesnar can’t just rip through HHH. He tore Cena a
new ass on PPV, yet he can’t manhandle a semi-retired COO of WWE? It’s a thin
ice. I’m still sold on seeing this match at Summer Slam. It’s gonna be brutal
in a good way.
The Heath Slater angle comes to an end and the big payoff is
… LITA? Another example of expectations being too high. It’s great to see Lita as
she is a true pioneer of women’s wrestling in the modern era. She looked great
in the ring. The addition of the APA was a cool sight, and the old legends
coming out got the crowd going. Lita’s moonsault is still better than most. Ron
Simmons gets in a DAMN, and we all go home happy.
At this point I knew Stone Cold Steve Austin wasn’t coming
out for the night. It just can’t be a real celebration of RAW without him. I
get that he had another commitment with Grown Ups 2, but the WWE could pull
some strings. Maybe offer up some free advertising in exchange for getting him
for the night. He’s bigger than Hogan when it comes to RAW, and he needed to be
on this show. This was a BIG drop the ball moment.
Watching Undertaker’s entrance might be the coolest thing in
wrestling. His whole character is a once and a life time thing. There won’t be
another like him. The New Age Job Squad got laid out by the Brothers of
Destruction. I get that Taker can’t wrestle as much as he used to, but what
about a run with his brother as tag champs. He could work a reduced schedule,
and it would make the tag belts mean something again. Plus Kane can take all
the heat in the matches, and Taker can handle the comebacks. It would be
something nice to bridge him over until WrestleMania time.
The Main Event didn’t get going until 10:59, what the
fuck!?! This is a top tier match, and you don’t get it going until there is a
few minutes left on a three hour show. Even in the seven minutes they wrestled,
CM Punk and John Cena put on a good match. It never got into high gear, because
it never had the time. I look forward to seeing them lock up at Summer Slam
without time constraints.
The whole CM Punk turn began when Cena tossed him into the
ref. He got hit with the AA, and he was beat. His title run should have ended.
It was that moment of reality that hit Punk. He sold his fight with his
decision to pick the bones perfectly. Cena gets him again with the STFU, and
Punk knows his title is slipping away. That’s when Big Show comes in again, and
Punk slithers to the corner. That’s when he goes dark side.
The title is more important to CM Punk than doing the right
thing. Cena had him beat twice, and he knows it. He walks away from Show
killing Cena, because now he is concerned with only staying champion. This was
a perfect twist that will set Punk up for his eventual meeting at the Royal
Rumble with The Rock, who came down to save Cena.
The crowd popped huge for The Rock as he flew down the ramp
and passed CM Punk. Everyone thought it was going to be a few Rock moves to
send everyone home happy. Then Punk lays out The Rock, and the Royal Rumble
gets sold out & buy rates jump through the roof. We’ve seen Cena vs. Rock,
now we get Rock vs. Punk, which should be a better overall match up.
Punk can play the heel better than most, and he can do it by
justifying his actions. If you’re the champ then why not let Big Show beat up
Cena. Punk never made Cena smack Show in the head last week with the brief
case. He’s only reaping what he sowed. He’ll also be able to talk with the
Rock, who better be on his toes because Punk will pipe bomb him back to
Hollywood.
So for the next few months Punk will lay the ground work for
Royal Rumble as he cements his dynasty as one of the greatest WWE champions in
the history of the WWE. He’ll get booed out of every building in the country,
and the WWE will smile all the way to the bank. Also at the Royal Rumble, it’s
going to be a big toss up on who wins because Punk going over on the Rock could
set him up to be a Stone Cold type star. Who coincidently is waiting in the
wings for a matchup at WrestleMania. Cha-Ching!
The WWE made some bad decision last night, but like any
offering, it’s the end that really influences the final verdict. The WWE gave
us a great twist ending that will have people tuning in. Cena is kind of
aligned with Rock. Daniel Bryan kind of hates the Rock. The Rock really hates
Punk. What about Cena & Rock vs. Bryan & Punk at Survivor Series? It’ll
take some work, but it’s a possibility.
It’s these kinds of possibilities that make last night’s
show more than the stinker it probably came off as to the average fan. If you’re
looking at only last night’s show then it was below average, but if you’re
looking at the next few months, it’s better than average. After last night, I’ll
take that … for now.
