The Walking Deadman

Most of the WWE house shows are a fun time but nothing ground breaking happens. There is some local flavor tossed in by the talent like Ric Flair talking about a bar he'll be at, or a bad guy making fun of the nearest university. It's fun for the whole family. You get some beers. You hit the merch tables. You might even get to see a glimpse of your favorite superstar outside the arena. But it isn't normal for ground shaking events to happen.

It's rare for a World title to change hands at a house show. It's unheard of for the WWE title to change hands. Hell, since the Rock became champ the WWE title hasn't even been to a house show. Yet last night in Waco, TX the fans got a huge surprise that nobody was expecting. The Undertaker returned!

It turns out Wade Barrett and Damien Sandow were talking smack to Sheamus. The Ginger Warrior said he had a partner backstage. Then the bells hit. You can see the entrance below:



Now the questions will begin. Was this his official return or was he just there because the show is a couple hours from his house? Will the Undertaker be at WrestleMania? Who will he face at WrestleMania? Why does crazy shit always happen in Waco, TX?

 

When it seemed that this would be a slow week, and all the attention was on Jack Swagger, the WWE pulls a quick one that turns the internet on it's head. The dirt sheets have been going nuts. I for one believe this is Taker sending a message that the rumors about him taking this Mania off are beyond false. He is coming to New York and he is going to put the streak on the line. The man he'll face looks to be CM Punk. That would mean this Monday that Punk loses to Cena, and we have the wheels set in motion for two big matchups at Mania.

 

Punk vs. Taker & Cena vs. Rock 2! Holy Crap!

 

Check back in tomorrow for my "Armchair Booker" article covering the Jack Swagger situation plus I'll touch on any new Undertaker news that might come out. Until then enjoy the Walking Dead tonight as Waco, TX enjoyed it last night.

Break Down The Fourth Walls!!!

Since Wednesday evening when the story broke about Jack Swagger getting caught by the Mississippi police with pot in his car, the internet had wondered how the WWE would respond to the situation. Would Swagger get fired? Would he be suspended? Would he start driving the roads with Randy Orton? Right now none of these things are happening because the WWE decided that Swagger's first duty was to stand beside Dutch Mantel as he ripped Glenn Beck a new ass. Watch here:

 

It would seem that we'll have to wait until Monday night to find out what the future holds for Jack. Right now it looks like the buzz he has created with his TEA party character is worth more than the negative image a drug bust comes with. Fox News took the bait. Alex Jones took the bait. Even the Beckster took the bait. They all gave the WWE more free pub than The Rock has gotten the McMahons in two months.

 

Rumor is that this thing has gotten so red hot that Stephanie McMahon called her writing team in late Friday night to figure out a way to insult Beck on RAW since Glenn turned down the invitation from the video above. It is surprising that Beck wouldn't jump on this. The WWE reaches a lot of people and Beck lives off monthly subscriptions for his snake oil.

 

Then again, unlike the WWE, Beck realizes that more people line up to the box office if they think the show is real. Going on RAW, and standing in the ring with two characters that mirror Beck's persona, only shines a light on Glenn that he might be the biggest worker in the ring.

 

Looks like the outrage and free press of the right wing has saved Jack Swagger. He might have lost a chance to carry the World title but he could be the biggest draw coming into WrestleMania, and McMahon's always choose money over morality. Maybe this was the best time to get busted for pot. Especially when you have a bigoted "get out of jail free" card like Alex Jones or Fox News.

 

I'm working on an "Armchair Booker" for Monday. I'll look at how I would have addressed the Swagger situation and the weeks leading up to WrestleMania. I'll talk suspension. I'll talk angles. I'll even give my finish for Mania. Check back in on Monday for that.

 

Until then, remember it's all entertainment, just don't try it at home. Like singing Glee songs in the shower. There are others to think of in this world. Like roommates or neighbors or your twenty cats. Glee fans... they know that shit is fake, right?



Rebuilding The Razor

A follow up to the story of Scott Hall joining Jake "The Snake" Roberts at the home of Diamond Dallas Page to begin Yoga rehab and healthy living. The picture above is Hall's first workout with DDP. He looks how you'd expect a man at rock bottom would look.

Hall's battle with booze and drugs had once been a funny joke among fans and wrestlers. I remember during the NWO he was once on the home shopping network. He was cracking wise that his cup was full of vodka and that the hosts knew what he liked. Now I look back on it and maybe Hall was cracking wise, but three sheets to the wind.

This crusade to save Scott Hall all came from when DDP and Jake Roberts called Hall on DDPtv. Razor is clearly either drunk, high, or both during this call. The video was posted during the first of the year but Hall asked for it to be pulled. Now earlier this week it was put back up with an intro from Hall.

 

It's a sad and inspiring watch. You really pull for the guy because he comes off as a nice guy that can't get out of his own way. I hope this is the final chapter in a happy ending. I might have to go try this Yoga thing, it does so much for people with bigger issues than a spare tire.


Weed The People

Oops!

It looks like Jack Swagger isn't as mad at things illegally coming across the border as Uncle Zeb, unless it is people. The new #1 contender for the World championship at WrestleMania found himself on the wrong end of the bong this Wednesday morning. He was tagged by Mississippi cops for driving all over the road. When pulled over the police found some patriotic pot in his car. Turns out Jack likes to toke and travel.

All joking aside, this is a major black eye for Swagger. He is in the middle of his biggest push since joining the WWE. He has a fresh new character that was starting to get a major media buzz. Fox News covered him and all the rest of the right wing talk bubble had him in their feed. Sure they hated Swagger & Zeb, but it got people talking. That is never bad, especially for a heel. Now it is all in jeopardy.

The WWE has been pretty tight lipped when it comes to what the results of this will be. They taped Smackdown already, and have no plans of editing the show, which has a heavy dose of Swagger. The real action won't happen until Monday night. The WWE wellness policy, and past history of those like RVD & Randy Orton, would point to a 30 day suspension.

Luckily for Swagger WrestleMania is 40 days away. Even luckier is that most of his new character relies on the mouth of his new manager, Uncle Zeb. Those that don't know, Zeb is wrestling legend "Dirty" Dutch Mantel. He is famous for single handedly saving Puerto Rican wrestling. He knows his shit and he'll know how to save this situation.

Now the WWE could do the harsh thing and fire Jack Swagger. It's listed as an option for punishment in the handbook. I just don't see them doing it for pot, which has become the most socially accepted illegal narcotic in America. I really believe they'll do the 30 days and weave it into the storyline. It's simple and it pleases all parties involved.

No matter what happens Swagger will probably see the speed of his rise up the WWE ladder only be equaled by the speed that he falls down it. This is a shame since he is a very talented in ring performer. He finally got a good talker in his corner. He was about to make some real money in this business. Now all of that looks to be up in smoke.

If you've missed the new direction of Swagger, here is the debut of the new "Real American":

This story will continue to dominate the headlines as the WWE is overseas this week and nothing big should happen. I would expect some kind of announcement on WWE.com in the next 48 hours. It will make for interesting booking and that has inspired me to put together another edition of "Armchair Booker". Look for that this weekend. Until then, smoke em if ya got em. 

Saving Private Razor

When I was growing up one of the coolest things was Saturday morning wrestling. You'd wake up, eat a big bowl of Captain Crunch, watch some cartoons, and finish the morning with an hour of WWF wrasslin'. A ton of today's legends debuted on that show including Razor Ramon.

I used to clean my room as I had the television on in the background. When I first saw Razor Ramon, I stopped cleaning. I was instantly a fan. He was just full of charisma and the Razor's Edge is still a cool move. I would say that while Hogan slamming Andre hooked me into wrestling, it was Saturday mornings that kept me coming back because of guys like Atom Bomb, Scott Hall, and 1-2-3 Kid.

Fast forward a few decades, and now Razor Ramon has become a victim of his demons. The stories of drug induced incidents by Scott Hall are multiple Google pages long. He is probably the poster child for letting the party never stop. Much like Jake "The Snake" Roberts, who might be more infamous for smoking crack on film than for his years of being a top WWE star.

Jake fought his demons and looks to be on the mend with help from Diamond Dallas Page. The former WCW icon has now become the undisputed champion of Yoga. Yes, I said Yoga. DDP a few years back was on his way to being in a wheel chair with multiple back issues, but turned to Yoga, and is now healthier than he has been since his prime.

Page healed himself and now he is doing his best to heal Jake Roberts. The latest member of Team Redemption is Scott Hall. The former "Bad Guy" is staying with Roberts and Page as they try to bring Hall back from the abyss. Kevin Nash, Hall's best friend has doubts. He went on this rant on Twitter when he found out about Hall's new attempt at sobriety.

"I love everyone telling me about what Scott needs, been dealing with this for 20 years. Scott will get healthy when Scott wants 2 period.

Yeah, over a million dollars at the world's best rehab facilities, I've always said what about yoga.

This has nothing to do with me. This is on Scott and him alone. He knows he's loved. I've been there since day one. Nothing I can do. Only Scott.

If you have not lived with addiction, then you should shut the fuck up. Pray... really my prayers go unheard? Love 2 one that loves not himself.

I have seen the damage done, family, children, how dare you sit at your keyboard and judge me or those that have suffered along with this man.

Scott told everyone 2 months ago he was going to DDP's, going to be there that weekend. Show me the tape when he walks in the door.

Got to love Twitter, one of my best friends is "going" to Atlanta and some mark asks me what do I think of The Shield. Why, they going to rehab?

Jake was clean when he went to Dallas, Scott will die during the detox stage. That's real world not bullshit.

Does anyone realise Scott will die if not taken to a hospital and clinically detoxed? You fucking idiots...... Yoga great. 20 years of abuse?

Did Scott know he was on that call live, that's fucked up. I would never have my friend saying over and over he lives on vodka, don't work 4 me.

Q: I really hope Scott gets the help he needs but do u believe he will actually go to Atlanta to stay with DDP? - A: NO.

This is my friend's life, not a PSA. You want the truth? It's not for you to know."

It would seem that Nash believes that Hall is past good living as the solution and believes without licensed medical attention his friend will be wrestling with angels. He might know better as he has been there since day one. In a shoot interview he even talks about drugs and Hall. Check it out:

 

This just shows how when you're young you never think anything will catch up to you. They avoided the cops then, but maybe had Hall been arrested, then he mights not be as far gone as he is now. I know as a fan of Hall that I'm really hoping for a happy ending to this story. Let's all just keep our fingers crossed that DDP can save Hall, because the next step isn't who he will stay with, but who will be Scott Hall's pallbearers.

Jimmy Jacobs Podcast



Over the weekend I talked about Jimmy Jacobs and Steve Corino doing a shoot interview together. It looks great. I'm a huge Jimmy Jacobs fan. I have been since I met in early 2000. He was "Jumping" Jimmy Jacobs. He would come to the ring wearing a big goofy hat and jumping around on a pogo stick. He also struck a cord with the fans. He came to the promotion we worked for as the little brother of Blitzkrieg Kid, and in months was shoe horning his way into the main event picture. He proved you can't keep true talent down.

One of my favorite dirt sheet sites is Lords of Pain. They put out a Podcast featuring an interview with Jimmy. It's a really good listen. They talk business, Olympics, WWE Hall of Fame, Age of the Fall, and Big Stars that act like morons. I recommend putting in the earbuds and letting this play. Like I said, it is a very entertaining interview.

Check it out:

Monday Night RAW: New Beginnings

This weekend was a long and crazy one. I made the nine hour trek back to Michigan to see my mom, then hauled ass back yesterday. Luckily I made it back in time to see RAW. It was a short visit, but always good to see her. For those regularly following this blog, I’ll let you know she is in high spirits and hasn’t let cancer take the smile off her face.

Normally it is Monday Night RAW that has a moment (or an entire hour) that takes the smile off my face. This week I can’t say that. Following a strong pay per view the WWE hit the ground running on the road to WrestleMania. Not only was the announcement of New Orleans huge for next year’s Mania, but the overall three hours was jammed packed with goodness.

The start with Cena and Punk again showed that Superman in Jorts isn’t in Punk’s league when it comes to mic work. Cena is completely over the top and looks like an idiot. Punk baits him into putting his rumble golden ticket on the line and he jumps in feet first. Remember kids eat your fruity pebbles and say your catchphrases so you can grow up to be a meathead sucker. Now next week we get Punk vs. Cena in the main event. I like that and the ratings should be good.

Mark Henry is a beast. Since coming back he has looked amazing. I don’t know what a feud with Khali is going to do for him. I hope that isn’t his WrestleMania opponent. Maybe the WWE is building towards a massive six man with Khali, Tensai, and Brodus vs. Henry, Big Show, and ?.

I actually wouldn’t mind combining the circus of Khali (with Hornswoggle & Natalya) and the sideshow of Brodus & Tensai (with the two big booty strippers). While we’re at it throw Santino & Zack Ryder in there. Oh a big 10 man tag of the goofballs vs. the ass kickers. That would be a good Mania undercard match. Plus I want to see Natayla dancing with the big booty strippers. Yeah, that’s good stuff.

It looks like The Miz and Antonio Cesaro will continue their feud over the US title. The WWE doesn’t do hardcore matches very much anymore. This was some decent plunder and the win by the Miz signals that these two will probably dance once more at Mania. I’m guessing a flag match. Good opening hour match up. I like the logic of the follow up to a DQ loss is a no DQ weapons match. It’s simple and makes sense. That figure four is still ugly.

Zeb and Swagger are a good heel gimmick. Some say it is racist, and it is. It also is how a large sect of people in this country (and my office building) think. I’m very involved in politics, and that kind of speak with that “don’t tread on me” flag in the background aren’t a rarity in this country. Hell that video could have been a weekend segment on Fox News. I do like how the WWE is trying to really push that these are crazy views. I still believe this feud between Del Rio and Swagger would have been better post-Mania.

The Bryan and Kane slow split continues. We do get two good singles matches out of it. That is good. The bad acting between Vickie and Heyman continues. We get an in ring segment with them later. That is also good. I kid about the bad acting, the backstage promos just stick out lately. I think it is the way they are shooting them that changed.

Del Rio vs. Dolph was a fun match and just a way to keep Alberto strong while reminding us Dolph has the money in the bank. The tease and the stealing of the case was great. Kudos to the WWE for keeping the MITB case fresh for this many months. Dolph has kept that case longer than anyone else, but he needs to act soon before it gets stale.

Wade Barrett is pushing his movie. Sheamus has a Hollywood friend who is the real star of Wade’s movie. Sheamus insults Barrett. Now we have the seeds for a feud. It is simple, but it makes sense. I wonder how Bo Dallas will play into this story. I don’t see Sheamus wanting an IC title run. I could see him as the guy that costs Wade the title on RAW against Bo Dallas and then Sheamus & Wade have a physical match at Mania. Fingers crossed.

The mixed six man tag was what it was. They got Tensai and Brodus more established as a team. They got dancing involved to get the crowd hyped. The big booty strippers danced and wrestled. A nice way to lighten the mood before Uncle Zeb comes out to talk about “Real America”.

They are really putting a lot behind Jack Swagger. Uncle Zeb is great on the mic. He always has been. I like when the WWE does something like this because wrestling has always been an exaggerated microscope to look at our current culture. ECW was the grunge and anti-establishment movement of the 90’s symbolized in a wrestling promotion. Sgt. Slaughter joined Iraq’s army to fight Hogan. It is what wrestling does well. It finds the real life heroes and villains, then lets the masses watch them fight. I know I’d like to punch people like Zeb in the face on a daily basis. Now millions will pay to see it.

Swagger has always put on good matches when working with good talent. He can’t carry talent, but he is a serviceable hand when working with talented wrestlers. Daniel Bryan is a top three talent inside the ring. Their match was really strong and did a lot to make Swagger look like a true threat to the title. If ADR is the worker he looks to be then him and Swagger should have a great match at Mania. Again I just wish this feud was saved until after Mania for the summer months. I would have liked to see Swagger’s gimmick develop more against like Rey Mysterio or Sin Cara.

Side note: I’m like 2.3% hoping that Del Wilkes does a WrestleMania run in as The Patriot to help Del Rio. Or even help out Swagger. Sure Wilkes is 50, but when has that ever stopped wrestlers from returning for a final run. Imagine the Patriot in the background standing beside Swagger as Uncle Zeb cuts his “Real America” promos. It would be a unique visual.

Brad Maddox is now the assistant to the temporary figure head of RAW. So what. I have no care for this character at all. Maybe now that he has a solid spot (kinda) on the roster I’ll develop a care for him. As of right now I couldn’t tell you if he appears on TV or not because he isn’t a blip on my radar, just a fly in my soup. We do get Vince McMahon fighting Paul Heyman next week. I like it.

HOLY CRAP! That six man tag was awesome. During the promo with Jericho I had the feeling he would turn on Sheamus and Ryback to be revealed as the man behind The Shield. I was wrong and I’m glad. I really hope Jericho is part of the Shield’s match at Mania. He works well with all three members. I don’t think the WWE can keep doing thrown together six man tags with the Shield, but for right now it is awesome stuff.

They had that crowd going last night and could do no wrong. In fact I would take a photo of that match and put it in the wrestling dictionary next to “Hot Tag” because they had like three of them last night. I could have watched those six wrestle for an entire hour.

Kofi and Sandow happened. It was merely taking place so R-Truth could come back and so that he could tag with Kofi against Team Rhodes Scholars. I’m in favor of that. I hope both stay in the tag division, especially with Kane and Bryan headed towards singles action. Nothing truly special here.

Kane and Orton was fun. They push the breakup of Team Hell No. Orton gets a win to stay strong after losing the chamber match last night. This was a match serving multiple purposes. Another strong segment for the WWE.

The Rock strolls down to the ring for his end of the show segment. The ratings info shows that is when he needs to come out. Plus it lets him swear and talk about sex organs. Without a true opponent for WrestleMania yet, he unveils a new belt. I also like that when he was about to announce who he wants to face, the music cut him off. They’re leaving the door open for Rock vs. Punk 3 and Rock vs. Cena 2, or Rock vs. Cena vs. Punk. It keeps me interested for the future, and that is all I ask for.

As for the new belt, I’m a fan. It looks way better than that spinner belt. An upgrade and, as the picture from above shows, the side plates are interchangeable. Right now they have bulls for Rock. They could end up being “X’s” for Punk or Mini-spinners for Cena. Randy Orton could win it and they could use pot leaves. Hell Steve Austin could win it and they could be smoking skulls. I like the option to individualize the title to fit the champion. They could also just put the generic “WWE” plates in after Rock drops the belt. Either way it is a better title than what they have had for 8 years.

The new title gives the WWE product a feeling that a new era really is upon us. The booking would say the same thing. Swagger is getting a monster push. The Shield is beating everyone under the sun. CM Punk was presented as Rock’s equal on the PPV with a legit gripe that he had Rock beat in the center for the ring for an 18 count. All in all, it is a new beginning for the WWE and I’m digging it.