Show Your Ass

It’s Monday! That means another edition of WWE Monday Night RAW. That also means living in fear that Boobs McMahon and the rest of creative will unleash another 9 PM hour on us. We could be faced with more large men in lingerie, a slow plodding assault with the kind of energy you find in a retirement home food fight, and a Divas match. The latter might be the worst.

Out of all the crap that was shoved down our throats last week, there was a diamond in the turd. That was Tensai. I remember the old Prince Albert, personal piercer to Test. I also remember Giant Bernard, the monster from Japanese wrestling. They both are the same guy, Tensai. Now there is a forth rendition of Matt Bloom. That happened when he showed his ass on RAW last week.

“Showing Your Ass” is a term I used when working angles or storylines that are just beyond horrible, but you find a way to get yourself over despite the turd burger you’ve been crammed into. The theory being if you just go over the top then you can somehow rise above the mess. Instead of people laughing at you, they laugh with you, because even you know what is going on is a joke. A good example of that is this match I did for a charity show in Dearborn, MI back in 2003. (Yeah I feel old now too.)

The promoters put myself and my friend Klunk into a match with untrained wrestlers, a guest ref (who had cancer and wasn’t involved in wrestling), and told us to work 20 minutes. Instead of trying to pull off a match, we put together about 7 moves and mixed them with 18 minutes of shenanigans. It isn’t the best wrestling in history, but there is a method to the madness.

The cool part is that Klunk, myself, and Badunkadunk had a lot of fun because we never gave a shit. We actually got a decent following of people who enjoyed our shtick. We never fooled ourselves in thinking we were going to be a main draw for any promotion, but we were entertaining. Again watch the match for all the little details, time wasters, and other ways we found to hide the fact that 75% of the talent involved didn’t have much (or any) training.

I used this as an example of Monday night because it isn’t my finest moment. I’m not putting that ahead of any of my Chris Sabin, Conrad Kennedy III, Nate Mattson, or Sabu stuff. Those matches were on another level. I do like to show it as a true example of showing your ass. We got over with the crowd despite being put into a turd of an angle. Just like Tensai did last week.

He showed that he is one helluva worker by taking that segment and using it to boost his character. Before last Monday, Tensai was a big guy with no charisma that did nothing to move the needle in the WWE. Now he has turned this moment into instant personality. His twitter feed this week has been classic. He also had a great match last Wednesday on WWE Main Event. I actually want to see Tensai because the concept of him on a team with Brodus Clay interests me.

The two are both monsters at the opposite ends of the spectrum. Tensai is big and mean but, until last week, had the personality of a manila folder. Brodus Clay, once a feared bodyguard to Alberto Del Rio, is the cuddly 400 pound dancing dinosaur who couldn’t intimidate a four year old child. This is what happens when peanut butter meets chocolate. It’s a good combo. Now maybe one can fill the void of the other. Tensai can get funky, and Clay can get nasty.

None of this would have happened had Tensai not shown his ass. He could have mailed in that segment. He could have gone to twitter, like Zack Ryder, and bitched about WWE misusing him. He instead took the ball and danced with it. Now I wouldn’t be surprised to see him and Clay on RAW tonight in a tag match.

The tag division is shrinking. It looks like Rhodes Scholars are done. The Prime Time Players are next on the list to be broken up. I am guessing Clay and Tensai will be the feud that splits up the two. The tag champs, Team Hell No, are headed towards splitsville too. That leaves a pretty big hole in the division. A monster team like Clay and Tensai would fill that hole pretty easily.

When you really look at it, we’ve all had to dance in lingerie to get further in life. Then again maybe my boss just does yearly reviews a little different.

Tune in tonight to see the fruits of taking a bad angle and running with it. I for one will be cheering the team of Clay and Tensai. Mostly because fat guys gotta stick together.

(Side Note: Happy Birthday to Chris Sabin. One of the best talents in the world. Hope his knee gets better as wrestling isn’t the same without him.)