Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Monday Night Raw: The NeverEnding Story


My dad came into town for the weekend, which was great. We saw the capital, drove around, and got a chance to catch up. It was a busy weekend, and I was ready last night to kick my feet up for some R & R. In the WWE that stands for Recaps & Rewinds. At first I was excited for three hours of wrestling every Monday, but as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. By the time Miz and Kane came out I was ready for RAW to be over. It just began to drag leading up to the main event with what seemed like filler between moments for the last 90 minutes with a good Lesnar angle mixed in.
I liked the beginning with CM Punk, AJ, Cena, and Show. They did a lot to develop AJ’s personality as the GM. She didn’t let two massive characters walk all over her. Punk is toeing the line as a heel with his half-truths and revisionist history. It is like watching political talking heads that manipulate facts to play to their favor. He makes your skin crawl and blood boil with his statements. After Summer Slam he should be full dark side and I’m looking forward to that.
When Cena was screaming about ten years in the business and still having to fight for respect I was waiting for Punk to say something about their in-ring abilities and the Grand Canyon gap between the two. Cena is a great character with unmatched charisma, but between those ropes he has the ability of Tim Tebow, and CM Punk is Tom Brady. That’s why during his runs people couldn’t wait for him to drop the strap, and 250 days into Punk’s run people can’t wait for him to face new opponents (Rock, HBK, Bryan, Sheamus, Rollins, Ambrose, Lesnar, Taker, etc).
Announcing the three big matches for the evening was good business. It helped when something less than entertaining came on my screen because I knew a segment I wanted to see was around the corner. Then again who didn’t think Rey Mysterio was going to win that Twitter vote. One guy hasn’t been on TV for months & when he was on TV he was being buried for dropping R-Truth, the other lives off his attitude era fame, and then there is future hall of famer & ultimate underdog baby face Rey Mysterio Jr. Why not make the choices Rey, Slater, and Swagger?
Punk and Rey had a great opening match. Their chemistry is always good. Surprised the announcers didn’t bring up their old feud from two years ago. I know the WWE has a short memory, but it was a fun feud. Punk beat Rey clean, as he should. He gets more fodder for his disrespect claims as the champ opens the show instead of closing it. The first 45 minutes of RAW is really entertaining, and my hopes are high.
Albert Del Rio shows up and I’m excited about that. He parks his car in the back, which never turns out well for people. When will superstars realize that when the camera focuses on your tour bus, limo, or sports car in the back of the arena that something bad will happen? I still hate that ADR is claiming he won’t wrestle, but then goes out to wrestle.
He and Christian have a nice short TV match. Poor Christian is back to his old role of making others look good as a back drop character. Was it that bad being TNA champion? Then Sheamus shows up and steals Del Rio’s car. Now we get to have Tout shoved down our throats for the night. Yippie! My excitement level is coming back down to earth.
Randy Orton just came back from strike two of his drug suspension. Big Show is one third of the WWE title match at Summer Slam. Of course it makes sense to do a double count out. No wonder JTG is pissed because nothing makes sense in the WWE. Orton is over and he could do a lot to lay down for Big Show. It would help elevate him as he moves into the title match in two weeks. Instead Orton gets the last laugh with an RKO after the double count out. Here is the message other talents are getting: Get caught violating our rules, and if you’re a star, don’t worry cause you’ll be rewarded when you get back while hardworking talents with no strikes will be kept off TV and forced to wrestle on our internet show. In a short form: Orton Just Smoked Your Ass!
It wasn’t like Randy was facing off against Santino or Miz. This was Big Show, who is facing Cena and Punk at Summer Slam. Giving him a win against Orton doesn’t hurt either man. It helps make Show look like a stud, and Orton loses to a massive Giant with a mean streak. Instead we live in bizarro world, and Orton gets to leave one of the #1 contenders laying in the ring. If I was Orton I would just walk down the aisle with my bong in hand because you’re the one with the iron clad status in the WWE.
Then we hit a rough patch on RAW. Two matches I could give a crap about, a nice angle that is kicking off a good feud, and a Divas match that signaled bathroom break. Ryback doesn’t do much for me as he eats up a jobber tag team. I watched the Goldberg build in WCW, he was slowly beating his way up the ladder and not wasting months in Jobberville. Ryback’s biggest feud is with a tag team that no longer has any creditability in the WWE. Congrats creative you’ve killed two talents, and made your monster stale, BRAVO!
Speaking of tag teams, The Prime Time Players are good. Epico & Primo are gifted. I like Kofi & Truth. AW is the pits. He has no charisma. His mic skills are limited. His one liners come off as over prepared and rehearsed. His whole character is a train wreck. He wastes time on my TV. Also why does he keep pulling his team out of matches? They aren’t #1 contenders anymore, and unless logic is completely out the window in this company, you still have to win to get title shots. I like that the tag team division is showing signs of life. I hate that AW gets TV time because he is minor league all the way.
Sandow and Clay was some good stuff. I am a fan of building up a feud. Damien has attacked Brodus two weeks in a row. He is really getting over as nasty heel with the crowd. I would say getting attacked by DX really helped establish him with the fans, and he running with it. Clay vs. Sandow should be a fun match for the next few weeks. I also like the dancing destroying our youth line. I pop for Footloose references. The Kevin Bacon one, not that recent abomination.
Hey the Divas are on my TV. Hey guess what, I’ve got time for a bathroom break. What I saw was a decent divas match. At least when they come on TV I know the next segment will be good. Kelly Kelly wins and Eve continues to get frustrated. I think an AJ vs. Eve match is on the horizon.
Besides the million recaps, Brock vs. HHH has been great. Heyman is gold on the mic. He and HBK really sold this match. Putting HBK in HHH’s corner is good. I would put even money they are going to do something like Apollo vs. Drago from Rocky 4 with HBK acting as Rocky & fighting the urge to toss in the towel to save his friend’s life; especially if Stephanie is ringside screaming at HBK. A lot of emotion is going to take place in this match, and HBK is the master of facial expressions.
After Lesnar put over Cena, he needs to win here. HHH is going to take a beating at Summer Slam. Lesnar is a legit beast. He looks nasty just walking down the aisle. With Heyman working the mic, there is a lot of money to be made here. What if the WWE did a twist on everybody and had Lesnar win the title before Royal Rumble? How many buys does Brock vs. Rock sell? Just something to think about.
After this segment the WWE went back into the lull with more recaps, rewinds, and two matches that were more angle than anything. Ziggs got cocky and Jericho is in his head. Riley got a win, which is good. He could be a nice lower card/ mid card talent for the WWE like Christian or Santino.
Kane vs. Miz didn’t do anything for me. I find it funny the IC champ puts over Kane clean in the ring, but Smokey McPot can’t do a clean job for Big Show. Just shows how out-of-wack the WWE is.
Daniel Bryan is doing something special. He has taken a horrible angle and turned it into white hot heat. He simply says “NO” and the crowd is whirled into a frenzy. He is being treated like a dog by the GM, has to face Kane at Summer Slam, and will likely have some interaction with Charlie Sheen, but continues to get over. John Cena lucks out because Bryan makes him look like a million dollars.
Side Note: Anyone else find it funny that “You Can’t See” me is followed up by the five knuckle shuffle. It’s like your mom saying if you do that you’ll go blind. Get it, it’s a masturbation joke. Oh John Cena you’re 5th grade humor is just so Raven.
Cena gets the win over Byran, which means only Big Show didn’t win tonight. Then Show gets the best of Punk and Cena with a double knockout punch. He holds the belt high in the air, and Orton sits in the back puffing away that he made that man his bitch tonight. Oh creative if it wasn’t for lack of logic, you’d have no logic what so ever.
I have realized what really makes RAW drag on besides all the recaps and rewinds. The announce team is bad. Lawler is long in the tooth, and Cole can’t seem to stop from talking social media. I know the WWE is now the king of social media promotion, but unless Twitter is facing Tout in the main event at WrestleMania then how about using half that energy focusing on the talents in the ring. It is getting a little overboard.
The whole Sheamus angle tonight was just to get Tout over. As far as ADR vs. Sheamus, it came off as hacky with the end pay off being the car covered in what any moron could tell was staged dirt & grime. Oh my gosh Sheamus spilled a burrito on his car, what a rapscallion he is. Then he makes a poop or puke joke, and walks away. It was all about Tout, and the match came second. If this continues then watching RAW will become a second thought to a lot of viewers, because what are the ratings for prime time infomercials? Not a 3.0 I can tell you that much.
We’ve got one more RAW before Summer Slam. It better be something special or this could be a bad buy rate for the 2nd biggest PPV of the year. I am guessing HBK and Brock will get into it. Also Cena will probably end the show holding the title in the air. Plus Randy Orton will continue to hold good talents down as Daniel Bryan hasn’t put him over yet. Hopefully it won’t be week three of me shutting off the TV saying, “I wish RAW was still two hours”. Pretty soon I might not even turn the TV back on.

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